The Energon Pub

by **Loki God Of Mischief** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:06 pm

Who would win in a fight? Also the winner has to immediately fight Raptor Jesus. Can the winner of the Thor vs. Jesus fight take out Raptor Jesus after their epic battle? I think Thor would win against Jesus, but I don't think he'd be able to beat Raptor Jesus in his weakened condition.

News Credits: 1 · by **Jeep?** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:10 pm

Does the fight take place in the middle of a lake?

by **Loki God Of Mischief** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:19 pm

No that's too one sided. Thor would just blast Jesus with a lightning bolt while he tried to walk on water and the fight would be over in one attack. It takes place on the ground in a major city.

News Credits: 1 · by **Jeep?** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:29 pm

Which city?

by **Loki God Of Mischief** » Thu Jun 03, 2010 8:53 pm

Any besides Nazareth, Bethlehem, Asgard, etc.

Human cities only. Which is irrelevant. It's neutral ground.

News Credits: 37 · by **SlyTF1** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 4:46 am

Jesus. All hed have to do is say "die" and Thores' dead.

News Credits: 104 · by **Cyber Bishop** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:05 am

No one beats Christ.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 9:35 am

Now, correct me if I'm wrong here, but wasn't Jesus a non-fighter? That said, fighting is about all that Thor is good at. That, along drinking and sex.

I have to say Thor, with his hammer and his love of fighting and his epic beard win this one.

News Credits: 3 · by **Name_Violation** » Fri Jun 04, 2010 6:57 pm

the one thats the son of a god....

i mean the one who has a hammer...

the one with the beard....

thor ftw

by **Lazarus81** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 3:39 pm

First off, JESUS had a beard and he was a carpenter, I'm sure he had a few hammers.

Jesus is the son of the real God that has billions of followers. Not like Thor who is

a comic charcter and just has you guys as his followers.

Besides Thor gets his butt kicked every time I see him. (Hulk & Ironman)

Even if Thor was real he wouldn't be worthy of even cleaning the Lord JESUS feet.

Shoot, I could probably beat Thor's butt if Bruce Wayan gave me a few fighting lessons.

On a serous note JESUS LOVES you.

STAR SCREAM rules

News Credits: 3 · by **Name_Violation** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 4:31 pm

Lazarus81 wrote:First off, JESUS had a beard and he was a carpenter, I'm sure he had a few hammers.

that was the joke...

also "son of the real god" is very debatable. if there were 1 true god, there would be 1 true religion. how many religions are there? glad to know you've decided for all of us that you know best, better let the muslims, jews, and all the other religions know ASAP. They're gonna want to convert....

and i think you are the only one tinking of comic book character Thor, as opposed to the ancient son of the Norse god Odin that the comic character is based on.

And really i dont think this is ment as some ideological philosophical debate about religion, but rather for laughs.

Please dont come in here all serious and with intent on being Buzz Killington

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 5:52 pm

You don't often see religious fundamentalism being brought into a fantasy battle. No offense to you honest God-fearing posters out there, but I have to do this:

Lazarus81 wrote:First off, JESUS had a beard and he was a carpenter, I'm sure he had a few hammers.

None of his hammers were made specifically for a God, though. That's kind of the problem with carpenters hammer vs. Mjolnir.

Lazarus81 wrote:Jesus is the son of the real God that has billions of followers. Not like Thor who is

a comic charcter and just has you guys as his followers.

Debatable. You see, there's no conclusive evidence on which of the world's many, many religions is right.

However, as Name_Violation explained, Thor was a God with his own worshipers. Just because you preach about your God the loudest, doesn't make you any more right than any other religion.

Lazarus81 wrote:Even if Thor was real he wouldn't be worthy of even cleaning the Lord JESUS feet.

Assuming, of course, Jesus was real. And, assuming, as our Jewish brothers would like to point out, that he was even the Son of God.

Lazarus81 wrote:On a serous note JESUS LOVES you.

But he just hates closed mindedness.

News Credits: 1 · by **Jeep?** » Sat Jun 05, 2010 7:43 pm

One thing is for certain. My money is not on 'Bruce Wayan'. He's just as poopy as Damon and Marlon.

News Credits: 767 · by **Dead Metal** » Sun Jun 06, 2010 2:28 am

While comic Jesus kicks some major ass (don't click that if you're easily offended or aren't at least 16 years old) Jesus as depicted in the Bible wouldn't last for one second as he wasn't a fighter and was non violent.

So the fights would go like this:
The original Religious incarnations Jesus would have his ass handed to him.

The comic incarnations well Jesus would give Thor a good fight but would ultimately loose.

But whoever wins the battle, nobody stands a chance against Raptor Jesus, since he's half Raptor and Raptors are awesome.

Lazarus81 wrote:First off, JESUS had a beard and he was a carpenter, I'm sure he had a few hammers.

Jesus is the son of the real God that has billions of followers. Not like Thor who is

a comic charcter and just has you guys as his followers.

Besides Thor gets his butt kicked every time I see him. (Hulk & Ironman)

Even if Thor was real he wouldn't be worthy of even cleaning the Lord JESUS feet.

Shoot, I could probably beat Thor's butt if Bruce Wayan gave me a few fighting lessons.

On a serous note JESUS LOVES you.

STAR SCREAM rules

Posts like this are the reason I don't like fantasy battles featuring Jesus.

News Credits: 1 · by **sto_vo_kor_2000** » Sun Jun 06, 2010 2:52 pm

Lazarus81 wrote:First off, JESUS had a beard and he was a carpenter, I'm sure he had a few hammers.

Actually carpenters in that era, in that region of the world, worked mostly with stone.

But he undoubted would have had a few hammers and chizlers.

Jesus is the son of the real God that has billions of followers. Not like Thor who is

a comic charcter and just has you guys as his followers.

Actually Thor is the son of Odin, both Gods of the old Norse religion.And theres no more evidence of fact that Jesus is any more a son of God then Thor was.

by **Loki God Of Mischief** » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:50 pm

I can't believe people are taking his seriously and getting mad about it. Those of you that take things so seriously are why we can't have nice things. For the record I don't care who you think would win, but no one on either side should condemn the other for their opinion.

Also, what inspired this was me and a friend talking and I don't really remember how we got on the subject since we were both baked out of our minds, but I'm pretty sure we started rambling on about demi-gods. I jokingly said that Jesus could stomp Hercules' ass. And then I came to the realization that Jesus and Thor had a lot in common and they'd put on a pretty sweet looking fight. I mean they're both sons of the major deity in their religions. Both are considered powerhouses and heroes. But their personalities are where they differ. In his mythology Jesus is always portrayed as a humble, down to earth, man of the people. Whereas in Thor's mythology he's usually portrayed as an arrogant braggot who often needs to be taught humility by Odin. Despite that he's still a fierce warrior and protects those who cant defend themselves. My friend chipped in with "Yeah and they both have hammers since Christ was a carpenter. lulz."

So yeah. You should probably stop reading into stuff and attacking each other (those of you that are), and just debate who'd win in a fictional fight. And if they could take out Raptor Jesus in their weakened conditions. Raptor Jesus is half raptor and half Jesus. He went extinct for your sins people.

News Credits: 1 · by **sto_vo_kor_2000** » Sun Jun 06, 2010 9:57 pm

I have seen any "mad" post?

News Credits: 3 · by **Name_Violation** » Mon Jun 07, 2010 12:13 am

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WINDtlPXmmE[/youtube]

by **Psycho Warrior** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:06 am

I gotta go with Thor. As son of a war god he's got the power and an actual weapon. What's Jesus going to do? turn the other cheek until he's a bloody pulp?

News Credits: 7 · by **Chaoslock** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 6:02 pm

Well, Jesus can resurrect, while Thor can be killed (at least he was killed during the Ragnarok by a snakes venom); so, ultimately, Jesus wins.

News Credits: 1 · by **sto_vo_kor_2000** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 6:11 pm

Chaoslock wrote:Well, Jesus can resurrect, while Thor can be killed (at least he was killed during the Ragnarok by a snakes venom); so, ultimately, Jesus wins.

But for all we know Jesus could only "resurrect" once.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 8:15 pm

Chaoslock wrote:Well, Jesus can resurrect, while Thor can be killed (at least he was killed during the Ragnarok by a snakes venom); so, ultimately, Jesus wins.

Partially wrong on both accounts:

1. Jesus spent his time on Earth in human form. He didn't raise from the dead, he ascended, he did away with his human body in the process. Keep in mind, though, that Thor doesn't have the same human form.

2. Thor wasn't killed by a regular snake's venom, he was killed by the poison of Jormungandr, the Midgard Serpent, one of the sons of Loki. Thor killed Jormangandr, but was only able to take nine steps before succumbing to the venom.

The thing about the Norse Gods was that they ALL knew the precise details of Ragnarok, they all knew when and where and how they were going to die. Which brings me to my next point: Jesus can't kill Thor, because Thor is fated to die from Jormungandr's poison.

News Credits: 1 · by **sto_vo_kor_2000** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:05 pm

Shadowman wrote:
Chaoslock wrote: Which brings me to my next point: Jesus can't kill Thor, because Thor is fated to die from Jormungandr's poison.

Jesus wouldnt need to KILL Thor to beat him.

No one said this was a fight to the death.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:44 pm

sto_vo_kor_2000 wrote:
Shadowman wrote: Which brings me to my next point: Jesus can't kill Thor, because Thor is fated to die from Jormungandr's poison.

Jesus wouldnt need to KILL Thor to beat him.

No one said this was a fight to the death.

With Thor involved, it IS a fight to the death. Everyone in Norse Mythology, including Loki, follows the strict rule of "Don't mess around with Thor if you enjoy keeping your body parts attached."

News Credits: 1 · by **sto_vo_kor_2000** » Tue Jun 08, 2010 9:50 pm

Shadowman wrote:
sto_vo_kor_2000 wrote:
Shadowman wrote: Which brings me to my next point: Jesus can't kill Thor, because Thor is fated to die from Jormungandr's poison.

Jesus wouldnt need to KILL Thor to beat him.

No one said this was a fight to the death.

With Thor involved, it IS a fight to the death. Everyone in Norse Mythology, including Loki, follows the strict rule of "Don't mess around with Thor if you enjoy keeping your body parts attached."

Thats an over statement.