The Energon Pub

Blast Cannon wrote:Your review of the Desertion of the Dinobots inspired me to go back and rewatch one of my favourite ever episodes of Generation One. It really was freakin' awesome! I think that the best part of this double episode was the amount of time given to scenes on Cybertron and the sense of wonder for Spike and Carly. It also gave Shockwave some well needed screen time too!

Yeah. All around it's a great two-parter. The scenes on Cybertron could actually get one choked up a bit.

As for your question about Cybertronium... I'm not actually sure. We could postulate until the cows came home and probably not get near the truth. It was probably little more than a dodgy plot device to reduce the Transformers to a sorry state for a couple of episodes, considering that it's never mentioned again throughout the multiverse!

Yeah. I think this is the only time we see it in any canon.



And now for something for all those on the right side... but stray a bit to the bad once in a while.

The Gambler


If anyone didn't expect that, I'm sorry.

On a warm summer's evenin', on a starship bound for Earth... The toy rocket's engines fail. Inferno chews Perceptor out, who stumbles a bit for words. He's interrupted when the ship's caught in a tractor beam and hauled aboard some other ship. Abrupt, yes? The Autobots disembark and are escorted to a lab. Perceptor is fascinated, but tubes shoot up from the floor and around them. Good thing they were standing in those spots!

The captain of the freighter, 'Bosch', enters and introduces himself. Prime demands to be released. Bosch flips a switch and electric bolts shoot from the top of the tubes. "Your weapons are deactivated, your inherent powers are nullified and your free will is suspended. Ta-da, instant slaves!" But Smokescreen's tube fails. It opens and he pulls his rifle, but one of Bosch's guards shoots him with a Rainbow Dash beam. Bosch takes the gun from him and Smokescreen asks what he'll do with them.

Bosch is gonna sell them for energon. Hmm, a known quantity outside the Decepticons. Bosch also expos that the machines can also restore free will. Why he said that I don't know. He goes over to a slot machine and pulls the lever, but he loses. "Argh, I can't even beat my own machine anymore! And I had it fixed so i could cheat!"

The stun beam wears off and Smokescreen goes over and pulls out a wire from his wrist. He wins and Bosch is impressed. "It's all in the wrist." Bosch wants to go to Monacus, "the biggest gambling asteroid in the galaxy!" Smokescreen agrees to win enough energon to power Bosch's freighter in exchange for the Autobots' freedom. Let's hope he knows when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em.

And Monacus is, of course, named for Monaco, real-life country. the Autobots are released from the tubes and shrunk. "I'll restore them to the normal heights... later." And he scoops them up and places them in a tiny box. Subspace mass displacement?

A shuttle is launched to an orange planet and Monacus!


Lovely place, eh?

The shuttle skids to a landing. Smokescreen corrects Bosch on his name. "The name's Smokescreen. And I never walk when i can drive!" He transforms and Bosch is impressed. In Monacus, though, Bosch can't get collateral for the Autobots. Amusingly' he's directed to 'Asimov'. And I hope I don't have to explain the joke. All that's left is some guy named Lord Gyconi, in Sheol. A small colony on the Dark Side.

We cut to them walking down a street to a rather medieval-looking place. "Lord Gyconi's Pit of Destruction." For all your family-friendly entertainment! They pass the spy from episode four: A new Hope.


No doubt on his way to inform the Imperials about Han and Luke.

Inside is a gladiator pit with a robot and some... thing. An animalien. Bet ten chips and last for sixty seconds wins their life and one hundred energon chips. Some pathetic lizard-thing comes up and jabbers. Bosch translates he's demanding five chips apiece admission. Bosch tells him they're here on official business and are led to-HOLY ****!


It's Jabba with legs and clothing, but still uglier! He asks what they're offering and Bosch presents the Autobots as collateral. He enlarges them and Gyconi offers fifty chips at five hundred percent interest. Bosch balks, but it's the best offer. Smokescreen takes it. Gyconi drops the bomb that it's payable within the hour. As they leave, Gyconi tells the lizard to prepare the Autobots for a fight tonight.

We cut to a casino and Smokescreen doin' his thing. He's on a roll and bets it all, giving Bosch a heart attack. Unfortunately he doesn't know when to walk away and counts his money at the table. The hooded figure pulls off the tab and Smokescreen loses! You just lost Prime and the Matrix! We are SCREWED!!!

Back at Gyconi's, he takes possession of the Autobots and sends them down an elevator, but hands out two free passes to the show. Animaliens against the Autobots. Smokescreen is angry, but is 'escorted' out. And we learn the lizard's name is 'Slizardo'.

We cut to Astrotrain landing and Dirge and Ramjet exiting. A nice bit of continuity since Thrust is back on Earth. Dirge complains about the distance, but Astrotrain's on empty. As the coneheads walk off, Astrotrain takes a page out of Waspinator's book. "It's always the same thing. I fly them to points unknown, exhaust all my fuel and they get to have all the fun!" The coneheads walk off. Dirge has a creepy feeling they're being watched, but Ramjet dismisses it... but we pan back to see an Autobot watching them! Trust the paranoid ones! He makes a log and runs off, tracking them.

At Monacus, Smokescreen chews him out but Bosch actually comforts him. He suggests they go to Gyconi's as Slizardo is beat up, but the Autobot from before pulls the bullies back and tosses them away. Smokescreen's amazed. "He wears the symbol of the Autobots!" He calls over and the Autobot is joyous to see another Autobot. His name's Devcon. He left Cybertron during the Great War... but more of the story will have to wait as Slizardo comes over and kisses Devcon's hand!

Bosch translates that Slizardo is pledging his loyalty and gratitude to Devcon for saving his life. Devcon brushes him off, though. Aww... We learn Devcon's a bounty hunter, searching for Decepticons. Umm... who's gonna pay the bounty? Although he's about ten billion times cooler than Boba Fett. he tells them about Astrotrain and his posse and asks if they've seen them. Smokescreen reasons they're at Gyconi's.

We cut to said pit as Dirge and Ramjet shake him down. Megatron's been hearing stories as Gyconi sweats-thankfully only metaphorically. And now he does sweat. *Sigh* Ah, it's a racket! I like that! Although when did Megatron set it up? Dirge finds the card adverting the match and Ramjet decides to stick around. Interesting how assertive they are when not around Megatron and shaking down scum like Gyconi.

In the holding area below the pit, gyconi fuels the Autobots up with unstable energon. Unstable energon usually explodes, but okay. They'll figth fiercely for a few minutes, but the effects will wear off. The fix is in!

The first match is Prime himself. Normally he'd be able to wipe out all the beasts, methinks. His eyes are glowing red. There's a lockup and he's winning at first. Smokescreen cheers him on and the spectators bet on him. The energon wears off and it's over. Inferno's pushed in and it's a tag team match!

Smokescreen walks out and transforms, backing into the doorway and spewing out his titular smokescreen. The entire arena's covered in smoke. Gyconi tries spin control as the spectators grab their chips and run out. We see looped footage of the crowd vacating as Ramjet realizes it's Smokescreen. Are powers really that singular? Gyconi somehow orders them to get them and they oblige, probably by coincidence than actually following his orders.

Bocsh tells him to slow down as they've gotten away. "Maybe, maybe not!" At least Smokescreen knew when to run as Dirge and Ramjet fly overhead and attack. They think they're safe... and Smokescreen's blown on his roof. Fortunately Devcon shows up and blasts the coneheads. Dirge is scared oilless and they run off. Devcon helps them up and Smokescreen asks him to go back to Earth with them.

Devcon... it's his voice. He really wants to, but he's got other duties. He'll help them get the other Autobots, though. Devcon... runs along as Smokescreen drives. Almost over Slizardo, too. Slizardo says the Decepticons and Gyconi are leaving with the Autobots and are at Astrotrain.

We cut there and see the Autobots... loading up energon cubes into Astrotrain. That is so wrong. The still-functioning Autobots arrive and there's a firefight. Ramjet orders the Sutobots into Astrotrain and Bosch and Slizardo make a run to stop them. Character development! Gyconi calls for Astrotrain and he's fully energized. He transforms! "Now prepare to meet my friend-mister ionic displacer!" I believe that's his toy's gun.

Smokescreen transforms and spews out smoke, confusing the Decepticons. They cough... which is not unheard of but still weird. Astrotrain transforms and they board. Even Gyconi! Devcon transforms to pursue and invites Slizardo to join him. Aww.

We need a Devcon toy.

We cut to the Autobots, restored to free will. Prime's confused as all hell. He doesn't remember anything, but Inferno remembers Bosch frying them! But Bosch is their friend now. Unfortunately they're out of fuel. But Casino Row is right over there... "Hey, what about a little rnr, guys?"

Prime agrees! "Why not?" Yeah, Primes don't party my sine function! He's gonna hit the town and paint it red! They transform and roll for the big time!

Thoughts
I liked this episode. Nice to see a follow-up of Child's Play, there. Also, Smokescreen is one dirty mamma jamma! Sneaky, but in a good way. Bosch was interesting, too. Devcon... we need him as a toy. STAT!

And now...

Quest for Survival
Wait, What about quests?

We open on farmland and workers there, tilling the land and tending to the soil. But suddenly a swarm of Insecticons appear overhead! And we're talking biblical proportions of the damned things! One of the workers know what they are and they all run in abject terror. Ah, the unmasqued world. How I love thee. The Insecticons are a bit put out by the lack of hospitality. "Was it something we said?" So they simply descend and gorge themselves like tribbles and/or parasprites.

I wonder if any of the humans were a bit too slow...

We cut to an American farmland asmore Insecticons descend. The farmers there also know what the Insecticons are. Shrapnle lands near their tractor. "I think his tractor needs a jumpstart-jumpstart!" And he shoots lightning at it, blowing it up. They eat this field up. We cut again to a jungle and a farm. But this time the Autobots are there! Tracks leads the way with a missile launch, and there's a firefight-literally as he's set on fire. But the Insecticlones are too much and the Autobots retreat. "Now they've got their tail pipes between their legs!"

Back at the Ark, Smokescreen explains the retreat, but Prime-unlike others-realizes a wholesale slaughter is not the best thing to happen. Huffer complains and Prime tells him to shut up and that Cosmos, Bumblebee and Spike are doing something. At that moment, Bumblebee appears on the screen. He's reporting from Flouron Three and has 'robotic insecticide'. And Skids appears!


Yay, Skids! He too is wondering just WTF 'robotic insecticide' is. Prime congratulates Bumblebee and we see Spike and Bumblebee aboard Cosmos... with a huge-oh, see for yourself!



Spike hopes it works, but Cosmos is caught by some large vines shooting from an asteroid. He has Spike fire emergency jets and he breaks free. Wait, he needs Spike to fire his own thrusters? As Cosmos flies, we see him covered in spore-like objects. Uh, oh!

We cut to the Decepticon base's docking tower rising from the water and the wave of Insecticons entering. Megatron salutes them and has them enter some tubes to transfer the energy they gathered eating crops into energon. After a bit, Skywarp enters with their portion-three smallish cubes. naturally, they're pissed. Megatron BS's a bit that the transfer process itself uses up too much energy. Megatron walks off through a door and we see tons of cubes being filled. "If the Insecticons had brains, they'd be dangerous!"

We cut to Cosmos, tangled up by vines. He tumbles through space and runs out of fuel. Spike and Bumblebee eject in an escape pod and Cosmos crashes. Spike and Bumblebee get out of the escape pod and , in a show of camaraderie, go search for Cosmos. They find him in the midst of a sea of tentacles. He's in one piece but can't transform. They go for help because, really what can they do?

Teletraan reports the Decepticons accumulating energon with a magic camera shot inside their headquarters. What, Blaster got a Cassetibot inside or something? Also, one wonders how this famine is affecting the rest of the planet. We'll discuss that later. Bumblebee and Spike drive in, but when Bumblebee transforms, we see he's got the plants on him too! Ratchet extracts some for Perceptor to examine as another magic camera shot shows that the alien plants have taken over the whole valley.

Outside the Ark, Prime assembles a team to... what, exactly? They roll out, Huffer almost colliding with Ratchet. Laserbeak spies them and flies off to the base, giving a report. Somehow Laserbeak knew they were going to get robotic insecticide despite no mention of it. Megatron is actually pleased, since he can use it against the Insecticons. He also reports the alien plants. The Decepticons fly off for battle!

Back at the Ark, Perceptor and Prowl discuss the alien plants. "Hmm, very interesting." "What is it?" "Hmm, what is what?" Ah, that wacky Perceptor! Perceptor calls it a 'Morphobot' even as it grows. Prowl thought they were extinct. Perceptor did, too. Back at the convoy, Prime gets the message. The Morphobots have left their planet in search for sustenance and can probably eat any robotic life form. We cut to Thrust flying over the Insecticon swarm as Megatron contacts him with instructions to have the Insecticons stay away until the insecticide's been destroyed-in contradiction to him wanting it earlier for his own uses.

Thrust tells them not to go there-and even tells them about the insecticide-and that after, they can go on eating. They don't believe him. Really? Shrapnel shorts out Thrust and Kickback... kicks him. He transforms and fires missiles at the Insecticons before heading off. "Thrust never could take a joke!" Hmm, one wonders if the Insecticons knew him before the Ark. They decide Megatron's deceiving them and take off for the valley. Wow, the one time Megatron decides to be nice and it backfires on him. "This time we'll get what's coming to us!"

At the valley, the Decepticons arrive. Soundwave picks up Cosmos' distress signal and they land, finding the Morphobots.


Creepy little buggers, eh?

Megatron is... rather curious. Starscream fires, but Megatron tells him not to. "These plants may be dangerous!" Okay, are we in Bizarro-Transformers? He fires and it's reflected right back at him. Both Megatron and Soundwave laugh at his misfortune. And yes, Soundwave's laugh is creepy. Why do you ask? Megatron begins to chew out Starscream, but Soundwave reports Autobots. "I'll deal with you later!" When, Megatron? He has the Decepticons take cover and have the Autobots get the insecticide for them.

The Autobots roll up and transform. Prime's picking up his signal and has Warpath blast a path through. Warpath transforms and Prime also has Ironhide see if his liquids can act as weedkillers. Multi-vectored attack. I like it. Warpath begins firing, but nothing. "I didn't even make a dinging dent!" Well, you might've if you actually hit one of them! Ironhide fires off stuff, which actually makes contact. But nothing.

Blaster steps forward and Prime's audio receptors begin ringing. "Blaster, no music please! We're in the middle of-" Blaster half-transforms and begins playing.



The music begins working and the Morphobots are repelled by his music. Prime gets a little snarky. "Who says plants aren't intelligent? The Morphobots are repelled by your music!" And for once, I agree with huffer as he says, "Yeah, like the rest of us!" Bumblebee rolls through with Blaster on his roof, Ironhide spraying liquid nitrogen at the Morphobots to hold them at bay. They reach Cosmos and he's glad to see them. Hoist tows him out. And just in time as the Morphobots break free. now that was smart strategy by the Autobots, there! Bumblebee hits a bump and Blaster goes flying, transforming and landing. Prime praises him. "Good work, Blaster. You've just gone platinum!"

Cosmos shoots out the insecticide, but Megatron orders the Decepticons to attack. A firefight break out. Megatron transforms into gun mode and shoots the insecticide, blowing it up. Spike is rather... nonchalant as he realizes humanity could starve to death. Seriously, there's no emotion in his voice. Megatron taunts him as the Autobots simply march up to the Decepticons. The Morphobots suddenly grab Megatron from behind and drag him back. "Don't just stand there with your cockpits open, you fools!" Dude, how the hell did they sneak that by?!

The Decepticons rush to aid him, but are tossed aside. Starscream taunts him. "I'd shoot, but you ordered me not to!" Prime runs in. "Megatron is MINE!" But the Insecticon swarm flies in. Megatron has a mild break from reality. "The Insecticons! Those noble creatures have come to save us, despite the danger to their own lives."

Seriously, dude?

They fly on and mistake the Morphobots for a forest, thereby confirming that yes, they have no brains. Megatron has no idea what they're doing. And neither do I as they dive for the Morphobot swarm. And the swarm's eaten. The main Insecticons fly off as the clones are devoured. The Decepticons follow suit. Spike and Bumblebee say in a way, the Morphobots saved the day, but Prime notes they can't stay on Earth.

We cut to a rocket-and hopefully some time passing and the Morphobots inside. It takes off for another planet inhabited by robotic insects. Where they found such a planet is best left to the imagination. Perceptor contacts Prime and we cut to the inside of the Ark and him being menaced by the Morphobots he was studying. "I hope there's another spaceship available-real soon!"

Thoughts
A good episode, weird in places but not bad. Morphobots... interesting. I wonder their history with the Transformers?

Also, how much food did the swarm consume?! Is there famine now, or at least food rationing? Speculate, my readers! Or at least post.

Thanks for sharing, I've been reading your reviews.

Eclipsica wrote:Thanks for sharing, I've been reading your reviews.

Thanks! Hope you've been enjoying them and getting food for thought.


And now an episode that is both confusing... and sheds some light.

The Secret of Omega Supreme

We open on the ocean and the dock-no, it's a rocket shooting up from the ocean this time! It approaches a flattop asteroid and sets down. Thrusters emerge from the nosecone and it pushes the rock to Earth. The rocket opens up and the Constructicons exit. Hook contacts Megatron at the base, who has Sideswipe standing next to him. *Gasp* And I thought Sunstreaker would be the traitor! Hook reports that ore from the asteroid will be ready in two hours. An angle change and it's now Soundwave instead of Sideswipe. Megatron has Astrotrain stand by. There's an odd five seconds or so where he just.... stands there, not moving before complying with Megatron's orders. Weird. Megatron boasts about the ore's energy capabilities. Yeah, yeah.

We cut to Cosmos approaching the asteroid and reporting back to the Ark about the energy readings. Prime tells him to maintain radio silence as he flies by. At the Ark, Cosmos reports he can divert the Constructicons while Powerglide leads an assault, but Prime is cautious. He then snaps at Cosmos and tells him to bring him some solid information. Cosmos sounds so sad when he says, "Very well, Optimus Prime," and then walks away. Aww. Powerglide asks what to do, and Prime tells him they'll sit and wait while he goes talk to Omega Supreme.

We cut to Prime driving into the forest and calling out for Omega. The ground shakes and he emerges behind Prime, probably scaring him a bit. Prime tells him about the asteroid in orbit, but Omega kinda brushes him off, I think. "Talk; premature. Disturbance; unnecessary." Prime mentions the Constructicons, apparently jabbing Oemga's berserk button. "Constructicons; enemies. Enemies; DIE!" And he stomps off. Prime tries to get him under control. "This is a military mission, Omega. Not a vendetta." Omega's response? "Results; same."

Prime asks him what happened. Omega brushes him off, but Prime won't budge. So the giant robot three times Prime's height... sits down to talk. Prime requests he speak like a 'normal Autobot' and he complies.

We cut to the past... not sure of the time as of yet. He's being given a tuneup by some medical bot, it seems. "Omega Supreme, you're as fit as any Guardian Robot I've ever examined." Said bot has a weird head.


I really hope it's the angle...

He's sent to guard Crystal City and mentions the Decepticons causing trouble. Prime somehow expresses surprise he was a Guardian Robot. Except for the coloring, he's mostly the same design as the others we've seen. He walks over to Crystal City and I gotta admit, it's a beaut.


They didn't call it the Golden Age for nothing...

Omega loved the city. We learn that back then, he was friends with the COnstructicons. They drive up... in Earth vehicle form and with Deceptibrands already in place. We also learn they built Crystal City. Scrapper transforms and greets Omega. We learn they need to do maintenance on the north wall. They chat for a hit as Megatron watches.

We learn he had a new machine, the robo smasher. Prime knew of it. "He used it to swell the ranks of the Decepticons." We see a scene of it grabbing some poor mechanoid, cutting open a hole and doing some spot reprogramming.



"Instruct me, Megatron. I exist only to serve you." Creepy... And somewhat disconcerting. It's something he'd do, but I prefer this to be a device used rather sparingly.

Also, robo smasher? odd name for a glorified hacker droid. It doesn't actually smash droids.

Back with Omega and his BFFs, they leave and he transforms into base mode. The Constructicons go to the north wall, but the door won't open and the robo smasher gets them. We cut away as Scrapper screams... Ouch. I should note his voice isn't as raspy in the flashbacks as in the present. We fade to Omega and the Constructicons driving up to him. he transforms and they tell him the 'capitol city' is under attack. They'll guard it while he goes to help against the 'attack'.

Prime susses out there was no attack. He hurries back... as Crystal City explodes in a fireball. Damn...

Back in the present, Prime and Omega are sitting amongst nature.


How many bosses would do this?

In the flashback, the Constructicons race off. There's some real good voice acting here for Omega, I'll admit. He says he tracked the Constructicons. He finds them, blows a hole in the street and some of the tumble into it. We cut to him apparently erasing the robo smasher's programming. Hook sums it up. "I-I feel sane again!" Omega's... pretty forgiving here. Most people would still blame the COnstructicons for their actions, methinks. He leads them home to perhaps rebuild Crystal City. But we see the robo smasher waiting on high. Omega moves to protect them, but Prime says that the brainwashing can't be undone. And sure enough, they transform and also merge into the first combiner-Devastator.

Devastator grabs him and shoves him against a wall for the robo smasher to get inside his head. But Omega's too strong and pries it off. The Constructicons break apart and run off, leaving behind a battered Omega. "Since then, I feel only hate for the COnstructicons." He says they fled Cybertron, and Prime deduces he followed them. "I did, for millions of years, across the galaxies." And that... *Sigh* They found Megatron was here on Earth and joined him there. Prime tells him to stay here and take no action. Omega actually salutes him.



We cut to the Decepticon base and the docking tower. Astrotrain transforms to shuttle mode and takes off for the asteroid. There, the COnstructicons are working and load him up. Cosmos sneaks over and tries to grab a chunk of ore, but tumbles off Astrotrain's side. Why he didn't grab a random chunk not loaded I don't know. But he transforms and flies off. Astrotrain does not react. Not even shouting or anything.

Back at the Ark, Cosmos slams down the chunk of rock. "Ypu wanted hard information? Here!" Prime says good work and sends Cosmos back up to monitor the situation. "Again?!" Prime has Perceptor examine the ore. We learn it's high in energy, but it's origin is unknown. He calls Omega and tells him to... knock the Constructicons off the asteroid.

The hell?! Prime,you know his mental condition! "Revenge; soon. Anticipation; high. Vengeance; GOOD!" He transforms and blasts off, taking his entire base with him! Teletraan gets the data and there's an organic nature to it. "You mean that asteroid's alive?" "Affirmative!" Oh, slag.

On the asteroid, Hook is directing the others as Omega comes into view. It's goofy seeing him with his base mode connected to his rocket! Prime contacts him to tell him to leave the asteroid alone. Get the Constructicons, but leave the asteroid alone. But it's ignored. Omega chucks a boulder at his 'old friends' and there's a firefight.

On Earth, Megatron does a test on the ore. But it simply melts.

Back at the asteroid, Omega is full-tilt nuts. "Vengeance; mine!" He punches the asteroid... and it splits in two, revealing this thing.


Yeah, I got nothing.

It flies off to Earth. Scrapper taunts Omega about it, but Omega is a wee bit focused on them. "Creature; lives. You; DIE!" At the Ark, COsmos reports the Decepticon refinery is ten miles north of a 'Mount Mackenzie'. I'm not sure of the spelling there, sorry. Although that spelling is a real location in British Columbia! Good work, writers!

Teletraan reports about the organism. Prime realizes it's an egg and the thing is gonna his San Fransisco. Prime orders the Autobots to roll out, but Teletraan also says they need Omega to get it away. The asteroid is its source of food, so it's hungry.

In San Fransisco, the Autobots ready for the attack. All... four of them. And one is Beachcomber. The insect lands and begins chewing on a building I think I should recognize. Powerglide flies by and startles it. Tracks, Ironhide and even Beachcomber shoot at ti. "Keep San Fransisco clean-leave!" This is a very quotable episode.

Their blasts do nothing to it and it fires lasers from its tail. Smokescreen shows up outta nowhere and tries a smokescreen, and it flies off. Powerglide is shot at and hit. Ironhide notes they can only keep it from landing.

In some snowy locale, Scrapper, Hook and Bonecrusher land. "What if we all just split up?" "Then he'd hunt us down one at a time." "Then I say we unite!" And they combine into Devastator, who punches Omega's rocket. Smooth. Omega lands transforms to robot mode. They tango, Devastator knocked aside. Omega buries him. "Vengeance; MINE!" Prime suddenly shows up and tells Omega he's got to help with the creature. Devastator splits apart and flies off. Omega goes after them, but Prime blocks his path. "Prime; move!"

Prime shows why he's the Matrix Bearer by standing in Omega's path and not budging, even when Omega taps him with his cannon arm. "Are you going to let it all happen again for something as useless as revenge?" Omega follows his advice.

At the Decepticon refinery, Megatron learns of the creature and that the asteroid is its food. He asks Hook how long to turn it into a long-range blaster. He'll blow the asteroid out of the sky and the creature will rampage!

We cut back to San Fransisco and the fight. Beachcomber and Tracks are fighting the creature, Beachcomber being a dippie. "Remember we're all one with the universe!" Tracks has a good response. "We're about to become one with the pavement, duck!" The creature swoops down, but Omega intercepts it and chucks a water tower at it. He transforms and leads it into space, but the screen shrinks into a telescope vision. Rather clever!

Megatron readies the cannon to blow up the asteroid and Omega but Prime blows up the controls. Megatron calls for him to be destroyed, but nope. "I've got a better idea-save you own skins!" And Prime single-handedly takes out the base.

You do not mess with G1 animated Optimus Prime. EVER.

In space, Omega lures the creature to the asteroid. It eats it and flies off.

In San Fransisco, Prime and Omega stand on the Golden Gate Bridge. I'm guessing traffic was diverted for a moment for this tender moment. He thanks Omega for saving the city. "Duty; ignored. Duty; fuflfilled." Prime... grabs his cannon arm. "You're as good as they come. "Compliment; appreciated."

"I know that what the COnstructicons did back on Cybertron changed you, took away your feelings. But perhaps someday you'll see that there are more important things in life than revenge."

"Possibility; growing."



That is some heavy stuff for a kids cartoon.

Thoughts

This was a very great, nigh-awesome episode. The themes of betrayal, revenge, and duty. Omega got very deep here.

A few things of note:

1; The robo smasher. I don't mind it too much. Makes sense for this Megatron to use something like it, too. He doesn'tcare about his cannon fodder, as we've seen time and time again. I just don't want it to be a big method of conscription for him.

And now the biggie... the COnstructicon's origin story.

There are three origins in the cartoon.

1. In 'Heavy Metal War', they were 'built in these caverns'.

2. Here, alive millions of years ago.

3. And in Five Faces of Darkness part four, we see this image.



Is it possible to reconcile these? Here's my take on it.

First, throw that picture out. What almost everyone fails to remember is that image isn't from some historical datatrax or record. It's from a VISION given by the Matrix. It's not necessarily a literal translation of events! It's like idiotspeople who think Delta Vega was close enough for Spock to look up and see Vulcan implode like that! *Headdesk*

The first Matrix vision Rodimus received in that miniseries was completely metaphorical! This image means nothing!

So, the other two. Well, in 'The Master Builders', Scrapper says he expressed admiration for Grapple's work on Cybertron. Also, they weren't affected by cybertonium depletion in 'Desertion of the DInobots'. So, my theory?

They simply got new bodies on Earth and everything in Omega's story happened.

Also, Optimus kicked about ninety-seven kinds of skidplate in this episode and showed why he's awesome.

Okay, time for... this thing. Less annoying than Wheelie's speech but still up there.

Kremzeek!
And the exclamation point's in the title.

We open on Megatron standing in front of some arcing electricity. We see a wicked closeup of his eye and the electricity in reflection. Starscream barges walks in and complains. "Are't you finished, yet? We need those electrodes for the energy magnet!" Okay, good way to wind exposition into their usual bickering. The electrodes turn off... and this skidmark appears.


Fasten your seatbelts, folks. This is gonna be 'wacky'.

He bounces around, electrical crackling following his every move and becoming very annoying very quickly. Anything electrical he touches gets shorted out. He burrows into a computer and it shorts out. Soundwave reports it as his own monitor goes blank.

Megatron just wuves tha' cute widdle pet and puts out his finger. Kremzeek doesn not short him out. "You will be my ultimate weapon against the Autobots." Dude, you used the space bridge to bring Cybertron into Earth orbit! He gets a box and puts Kremzeek into it. "This circuit trap should hold him for a while." Thrust flies him to the Ark and the box is dropped into the entrance. It shakes. Teletraan-One detects it and tells Prime. The box explodes and Kremzeek leaps into the camera, then exits via Teletraan's screen. Okay, that makes sense. It's an energy being traveling along power lines and such.

It begins shorting out Autobots. Jazz is the first, unfortunately not voiced by Scatman. Smokescreen is frightened as Sparkplug... tries to grab onto the living bolt of lightning. He's shocked. "Boy, never fool around with electricity!" he says with the worst lip movements I think I've seen in a long time. He gets an idea. Smokescreen... holds up a wooden table to block Kremzeek. Where did he get an Autobot-sized wooden table from?!

Ratchet and others-including Jazz-walk in as Smokescreen shorts out. We cut to Prime as the Autobots are taken out. Sparkplug runs up and sprays him down an insulating compound. Prime thinks it's a joke at first. "What joke? I'm saving yah!" Ah, this is why I love the G1 humans! He opens the door and Kremzeek tries to infect Prime, but he simply bounces off. Prime tries to grab him, but he slips out. Most of the other Autobots are shorted out, but they insulate Bumblebee, Blaster and Inferno.

Prime has them spread out to search the Ark. For once, this makes sense since it can't hurt them. Bumblebee wonders where it came from. Inferno thinks it's Megatron. They hear it and find it in... some sort of lab. The equipment blows up, and they realize the only thing not fried is Teletraan. They go to the computer, but it's too late. And we get... two funny lines.

"Alert! Alert! Evil Martian flangoes have invaded supermarkets across the planet. They have come to steal Earth's ammonia."

We cut to a military base receiving the signal. "What in the world?"

"Choco rations down 2 grams! Doubleplusungood!"

An officer asks where it's coming from and they tell him it's on the Autobot wavelength. Ah, ha! The Autobots have a channel for military use! Very interesting...

Back at the Ark, Kremzeek jumps into the screen... and seems to have went there. Point for Bumblebee's disbelief, at least. Sparkplug theorizes it rode Sky Spy's transmission beams to wherever it ended up. Okay, for Transformers, not bad. Prime asks where, and Bumblebee thinks Japan. According to the image, I have no idea how he figured that.

Omega Supreme approaches and transforms into rocket mode. Sparkplug stays behind to start repairs... and I just realized none of the Autobots not shorted out are exactly known for their mechanical skills. Oh, slag.

At the Decepticon base, Soundwave reports all transmissions from the Ark have ceased.Megatron, instead of deciding to go there and melt them into neat stacks of ingots, readies his 'energy magnet'. We fade to Japan and an elderly fisherman as Omega Supreme lands. Kremzeek emerges from the sand, but still can't infect the other Autobots. Prime suddenly realizes Omega's not protected and he orders him to take off. But Kremzeek gets him and Omega crashes. Bumblebee tells him they'll get him fixed.

A bullet train sounds its horn and Kremzeek hears it. "Choo choo!" And I now hate this episode. It bounces over and the train speeds up. Inferno speaks for all of us. "That guy's starting to get on my nerves!" The train does some... wiggling. Didn't we see this in Highlander II?

Prime transforms and they all grab on. He gets onto the tracks in pursuit. Blaster asks a question. "Yo, Prime! What do we do when we catch that weirdo?"

"We'll worry about that when we catch him!"

"You mean you don't have a plan?!"

"Who's had time to think of a plan?" Okay, funny exchange. I'll give it that. He accelerates. Kremzeek is bouncing around as the conductor is getting antsy. The train begins defying even TF physics in its movements as Bumblebee calls out, "Faster Prime, faster!" And then the caboose comes into view... "Slower, Prime! Slower!" He hist the brakes, they're tossed out and he hits the back of the train. Considering how durable he is.. he should've gone through it like tissue paper. The Autobots leap back on in pursuit.

We cut to the an odd tower emerging from the ocean topped by a porcupine ball. Starscream reports, "Seascraper in position." I'm guessing it's attached to the Decepticon base. The energy magnet's fully operational too.

Back at Japan, the train pulls into a station. Prime rams the back of the train. "Ouch!" The Autobots tumble off and he transforms. Kremzeek elaves the train, chased by the conductor who bumps into an older woman in a kimono. She hits him in the head and speaks... possibly Japanese? i have no idea. Kremzeek leaps into a walkman. And I should note the Autobots are aren't really attracting much attention until they start running. He exits and finds a video arcade. Remember those, kids?

Strangely enough, the Autobots fit inside the arcade just fine. They track him down to Shibuya Manufacturing. Prime sums it up. "Talk about a bull in a china shop." Inside TVs are being built, but Kremzeek begins blowing **** up. The Autobots-again-fit inside a human building. Although to be fair, this is a manufacturing plant. A human in a lab coat named Doctor Sōji Yoshikawa comes down a set of stairs, bowing to the Autobots and recognizing them by sight. That actually makes me smile a bit. He's the chief engineer of the plant. "Very honored... you did this?!"

Prime explains what's going on as a robc arm starts smashing TV sets. "There's a creature made of pure energy in there." Soji-again-speaks for all of us. "You crazy?" Blaster pulls his laser rifle and shoots the arm. "Look, it's real simple!" Soji wonders if radio waves will affect him, and Blaster steps forward. He opens his cassette door-by the side and Soji turns some dials. Kremzeek is pulled into Blaster-wait isn't he insulated? Know what? I don't care at the point. He transforms and spins around, and tries to fry Kremzeek with his own power. Soji approves. "Good thinking!" Then changes his mind. "Bad thinking!" And he turns off Blaster. Blaster asks why, and as it turns out... he only fed Kremzeek. And a shitload of them bounce out of Blaster.

Prime makes a funny. "Oh, here comes that sinking feeling."

We cut to outside, I presume Tokyo, but it's never specified. It's evening-I like the passage of time-as traffic lights explode and cars slam into each other. Electronic billboards explode. Prime asks Soji-calling him 'Yoshikawa-san'-if they can somehow be united. Soji says perhaps, but doesn't know how. Prime decides to go to the nearest power station.

At the energy magnet, it's switched on and power from some passing warships is drained. I have a feeling they were dispatched to investigate the tower. Okay, this is a good plan.

Back at Japan, the Autobots are at a power plant, tying cables around a large radio tower. Soji flips a switch and it's electrified. "There' if that doesn't get their attention, nothing will." Back at the city, the Kremzeeks begin leaving and heading to the tower. They begin uniting... and growing larger. Prime oils himself as the giant Kremzeek demolishes the tower and we have a kaiju on the loose! We see an advert for a Godzilla-like movie called 'Hojoni' and whoa!


Lookit the lower right hand corner!

Prime wonders if they can force it out of the city. Inferno fires some foam and we have a reenactment of the last scenes of Ghostbusters.



At the more interesting B-plot, Megatron prepares another test. Starscream becomes impatient and turns up the power. "Tests, tests tests! Let's light this candle!" Kremzeek turns away and the Autobots try to follow, but they begin getting low on power. The city goes dark. Prime gets an idea. "Suddenly, this makes sense." No, Prime. No it doesn't.

He realizes Kremzeek was a distraction. Blaster somehow homes in and the magnet's 200 miles offhsore. Huh, not attached to the Decepticon base. Blaster comes up with the idea of zapping Kremzeek to the energy magnet with... the Tokyo Tower?


Or at least a reasonable facsimile.

Prime praises Blaster. We cut to Kremzeek walking along, empty. Bumblebee buzzes by, leading him to the Tower. Kremzeek approaches and the Tower's turned on, zapping Kremzeek and transmitting the little bugger to the energy magnet.

There, Megatron is gloating out of sync with his movements. "And soon nothing can stop me!" oh you should know by now never to utter those words! Kremzeek shoots across the water and hits the tower. The Decepticons retreat as the power comes back on. I... guess the drain was stopped or something?

We cut to a boat exiting the harbor with the Autobots onboard. Soji declares, "Ye it can be done."



Blasster asks what can be done. Soji explains that while energy can't be destroyed, it can be dispersed. Hey, that's pretty smart! Bumblebee says... he's kinda cute. Prime and Inferno say he's too dangerous. "He doesn't belong in this world." Prime aims a cannon and covers his eyes as he goes to push the button.



Bumblebee turns as a beam is fired and Kremzeek is dispersed. Back at Omega, Soji says he'll help with Omega. Inferno's glad Kremzeek is gone. Blaster misses him a bit, and he spasms as a new Kremzeek leaps out and causes chaos. The Autobots race after him. Hah, Tokyo will be in ruins and it's... no. It's not.

Thoughts
Wow. I almost wish I drank alcohol after this one. yes, there are some funny moments. But overall there's shoddy animation. Kremzeek is annoying and has a grating voice. And seriously, ultimate weapon?!

I liked Soji, though. Smart, spoke good English. Kept up with the Autobots. Man, so many one-shot humans I'd kill to see more of.

Topic of conversation
What one-shot humans would you have liked to see more of in the series?

*Walks into thread and dusts it off*

And now...

Sea Change
We open on Seaspray and Bumblebee, waterskiing. Bumblebee is... not doing well, to say the least. he hits a ramp and wipes out, stumbling to shore. Seaspray follows and points up to the first star of evening. "What do you say we make a wish?" I love peaceful moments for the Autobots, really. They deserve them so much. Bumblebee asks what Seaspray's wishing for. "Can't tell you, Bumblebee. Cause then it won't come true." We do a fade to a planet, implication is this is the one he's seeing. We cut to a city, vaguely Meso-American in architecture and rather nicely drawn.



But there's trouble in paradise as we see the citizens enslaved by robots under 'Deceptitran." We hear some... thing asking for nourishment and a male is grabbed and hauled away. The woman tries to help, but is whipped. Ouch! We cut to the interior-and yeah, definite influences from Central/South America culture. The man asks why he destroys their life. "Because that is my programming!" As we see Deceptitran.


I'll take Teletraan-One over this guy any day of the week! The male's strapped down and we learn the species is called 'Tlalakans', a reference to Heaven reached by water-related deaths. Morbid... And the guy's drained of 'Essence', I guess. So this is related to Skeksis technology? The male's brought back, but a revolt is sparked. We also see the guards aren't waterproof. In a city surrounded by water. Smart... The Tlalakans escape, meeting up with mermen! Deceptitran decides to call the Decepticons for help.

Back on Earth, Bumblebee's about had it with star-wishing. To be fair, it is the dead of night. Seaspray's chest beeps and he opens it, adjusting something inside. "11,000 on your dial." At the Ark, Perceptor technobabbles and eventually gets around to saying it's an SOS. Prime cuts to the quick. "In other words, someone out there needs help." Go, Prime! Cosmos steps forward. "I can take Bumblebee, Seaspray and Perceptor, but Optimus, you're just too big!" That line always makes me laugh. Prime tells them good luck as Cosmos takes off. Aboard him, Perceptor takes a closer look... and I am praying for a jump cut as they just show up at the planet. While Cosmos is entering the atmosphere-with heat trails, nice touch-we learn it's similar to transmissions intercepted during the 'Third Cybertron War.'

Bumblebee and Seaspray sum it up. "So what you're trying to tell us is-" "We answered a Decepticon SOS!" At Deceptitran, he sees the Autobots and sends his droids after them. There's a lot of shooting and Cosmos is shot out of the sky. Some of the natives bob out of the surface and mention he's crashing between them and the 'Well of Transformation'. We cut to Cosmos as Bumblebee and Seaspray unload Perceptor. Cosmos transforms. "Oh, no.. My paint job's... ruined," as he collapses.

The droids advance and the Autobtos duck for cover. The Tlalakans look on, one of them wanting to let them destroy each other. The woman is the voice of reason. "No. if they fight Deceptitran they're our friends!" One of the droids drops an energy whip and she scoops it up, hitting a tree and sending it crashing onto the others. She leads them away and Seaspray tackles the last two. She runs up to him, says her name's Alana and thanks for saving her. Seaspray is... smitten. Dude, she's organic and you're not. Let it go.

She asks about him. "Is something wrong? Your face is turning red." We cut to Astrotrain swooping in and landing, Megatron, Dirge and Soundwave disembarking. hmm, Astrotrains' not out of power this time. Deceptitran greets them and Megatron cuts to the chase. Back to the Tlalakans and the Autobots, heading to the Well of Transformation. The natives head in, but droids appear. Inside, the natives... the in front of a pool. The droids and Autobots follow and there's a firefight. One of the droids falls in and... disappears.

Alana gives an explanation. "The Well of Transformation dissolves the body. leaving only the essence, which can then reform into whatever new body we choose." Oh, so it's like... wait, what? Man, tha'ts freaky even for this show. Especially for this show! We see her dive in and transform into a mermaid. Seaspray wants to try it, but she says no. She gives an explanation and gives them directions to a waterfall and blows him a kiss. Seaspray...


"She... she kissed me!" Bumblebee leads him away, embarrassed for all. We cut to the waterfall, but Laserbeak flies over and attacks. The rest swoop in. Seaspray transforms and the rest of the Autobots grab on. He drives them over the falls, but manages to make a landing. He goes underwater and into a hidden chamber, but Alana asks where Bumblebee is. He's still outside and we see him thrashing about. He goes over the falls. "Where is everyooooneee!" Rumble spots him and Soundwave grabs him. We also see Bumblebee coughing...

The Decepticons fly back to the city while the natives and Autobots go to an underwater city. An old guy greets them, but is suspicious of the Autobots. We cut to Bumblebee being wired up to... something. The Autobots prepare to rescue him and get some help, which I like. It's kinda like us humans when they first landed on Earth. They swim back, splitting up temporarily. We cut to the bombs being set off and massive damage.

We see Deceptitran and a magic monitor shot of the rebels attacking. Megatron... isn't worried. And the Decepticons fly off. We cut to Bumblebee pressing a button on his wrist and Seaspray homing in on a signal. He hops a curb onto the city and they enter Deceptitran's inner sanctum. The robot has a fit and grabs Alana with a tentacle, but Seaspray shoots it off and frees the 'bee. laserbeak-in cassette form and simply sitting on a wall-transforms and flies off as the rebels and Autobots retreat. He swoops in and follows Bumblebee, apparently able to fly underwater!

We cut to Megatron and Deceptitran, the latter babbling like... well, like the cliched brook. Megatron simply... shuts him off. Thus the difference is established between non-living machinery and Transformers. He gets a transmission from Laserbeak as he's tracked down the lost city.

We cut to the retreating Autobots and natives, reaching the Well. There, Seaspray has doubts about whether or not he'd disappear like the droids. Alana points out he's a machine and we get a rather nice introspective moment. "Is that how you think of me? Maybe that is all I am, a bunch of transistors and bolts. But I don't believe it! My heart may look like an energon pump, but that doesn't mean it can't feel." And he goes for the Well.

And people wonder why I like Transformers. Are they alive? Are they... more than meets the eye? In my eye, yes.

There's bubbling where entered. Alana is fearful... "Oh, Seaspray, my friend. I did love you." There's a ball of light and...


Oh, Primus! It's more horrible than i could've imagined! He's transformed into Fabio and will be selling 'I can't Believe it's Not butter'! The horror!

Okay, not that bad. His feet are still metal, though. Alana reveals she was worried someone like her wouldn't be... his type. And they dive in and go for a swim. Just as the Decepticons come into view. "So, these organic creatures are Transformers too!" And there's almost a hint of... pride in Megatron's voice? Rumble fires and the Decepticons attack. Seaspray and Alana see them and Seaspray goes charging in, but he's not a robot and is almost killed. He goes back to the Well, Alana following.

Rumble is sent after them and emerges into the Well. He glows and begins transforming. Alana tells him, "You must think of a tree. It's your only chance." So Rumble, being a dumbass, thinks of a tree. And now he's a tree.

Oh, god! Fluttershy's gonna be pissed. She wanted to be a tree!



So he transforms into a tree.


Good lord, the Last March of the Ents just became awesome!

Seaspray transforms into robot form and Alana becomes a robo-babe.


"You like?"

Seaspray is speechless as they go out. SHe sorta morphs into a gondola as they attack the city. Deceptitran goes nuts and launches the droids, but they're taken out rather quickly. Back at the underwater city, the Decepticons are pretty much unstoppable, but Deceptitran calls for help, using the energon cube card. The Decepticons swim back.

Back at the city, Deceptitran is... under Alana's spell, somehow. I'm rather glad we don't see how, either. "I am yours to command." She has him order the droids to attack the Decepticons. We cut to Seaspray going to the energon warehouse. The Decepticons follow, as do the droids. The droids fire on the Decepticons. Megatron calls the computer, but Alana has shut him off and flees. Seaspray, meanwhile, shoots the cubes and they begin exploding, setting off a rather large fireball in the city and basically destroying it.

Back at Rumble, he's knocked into the Well and transforms. The Decepticons emerge and Astrotrain transforms, taking off with the Decepticons.

We cut to the natives and Seaspray apologizing for the damage. One of the elders is understanding. "It was worth it, for the price of our planet's freedom." Alana emerges, humanoid again. The two decide they're still friends, even though of a different species. He takes her for a ride as the sun sets and we get a rather clever bookend. "Hey, the first star of the evening. Wanna make a wish?" Perceptor's confused, but Bumblebee is... cool.

Thoughts
Interesting episode, here. I rather liked it. Although the big Optimus Primal in the room... Alana and Seaspray.

It's odd, actually. I love humans and Autobots being friends. And here there was a plot device to help them transcend their... differences. And Seaspray's not huge like Armada Starscream and others...

Still weird, though. I love her civilization, there. And Deceptitran. When was he put into power?

And now and episode I have been chomping at the bit to do. One that showcases a Decepticon horribly ignored...

Triple Takeover
Or: How Blitzwing is awesome!

We open on some mountain ranges in what appears to be the American Southwest. Astrotrain, Blitzwing and Starscream are firing at one, carving a Decepticon Mount Rushmore of their faces and Megatron's.



They agree one head doesn't belong and they blow away Megatron's head, deciding on a coup. They fly back to the Decepticon base, bickering about which one to lead them into a trap. Blitzwing baits Starscream about his failed attempts and the Air Commander blusters. "I haven't failed! I've just been waiting for the right time, that's all. And the time is now!" Just what the Triple Changers wanted to hear. Starscream flies off and Astrotrain gloats. "No planet ever lost its orbit underestimating the stupidity of Starscream!"

We cut to a human city, rather well-built. We pan down to Starscream leading Megatron through a sewer that's way too big for... anything. Why are they there? Let Megatron exposit it for you! "A secret Autobot power station... in a sewer?" He says they'll need reinforcements and Starscream baits him. Megatron marches forward and a hatch seals them in. ""It's a trap!"


... What? I just-come on!

Gas is vented from pipes in the ceiling. "These are absolute-zero degree molecules..." as Megatron freezes. there is so much wrong with that it's not even funny, but who cares. Starscream goes to leave through a hatch, but it's simply held shut by Astrotrain, sealing him inside! Astrotrain remarks the temp is -470 degrees... which is 11 degrees lower than Absolute Zero, but maybe it's a Cybertronian scale?

We cut to a football stadium during practice. He's got the ball... and Blitzwing plows through the wall. "A battle simulation arena. An excellent base for... Blitzwing headquarters!" He runs over a goal post as the humans finally notice him. "Coach, it's a tank. What do I do?" The coach proves to be a... not sterling example of humanity. "Give him the ball!" He chucks the ball at Blitzwing right into the barrel, but it's shot and hits the scoreboard. Two points!

He mistakes the coach for a strategist and appoints him second-in-command. The coach has a foolproof defense, though. "I got a contract!" Blitzwing picks him up. "Contracts, like traitors, are mad to be broken." The coach relents and lives.

We cut to a train station. Gee, I wonder who's setting up base here? Astrotrain flies down in shuttle mode and lands in train mode. A conductor in overalls sees him and realizes there's no engineer. He goes out to see what's going on and Astrotrain transforms. The conductor... has an epiphany. "That's it. I'm retiring-now!" And he runs off, warning the people inside. They run, too. Astrotrain doesn't care. "So who needs you spineless plasma heads anyway?" That's a unique insult, even for a Decepticon. He walks back outside to the trains and looks to the camera while saying he'll give the trains computer controls.


Those are his troops, Folks. Most of them experimental designs retired decades before.

He goes into the control station and pulls out circuit boards, putting them into the trains. I'm not sure how that works...

Back at the football stadium, the Great and powerful Blitzwing! He breaks through a wall to the locker room, declares it the coach's office and asks for strategy. When he doesn't get anything... "Tell me what's on your mind or I'll splatter it on the wall and see for myself!" he gives up 'zone defense' and puts the coach into a locker, declaring it his desk. And so many bad memories are brought up...

We cut to the COnstructicons building... something outside the stadium. I'm sure by now the civilians are used to Decepticons and are simply giving them a clear berth. Scrapper transforms to robot mode and asks Blitzwing just what the heck the purpose of the 'highway maze' is they're building. Blitzwing says it's for the zone defense. He asks for more strategy from the coach and gets the 'long bomb'. He goes into the field and begins lobbing shells at the city. one car goes into the river, but Hoist 'magically' shows up and extends a huge tow arm to get him back. He leaps into the water, pushes against a support and the hole in the bridge is somehow repaired. Huh?

Blitzwing shoots the scoreboard, decides to thank the coach and then fires more shells. I defy anyone to tell me someone isn't killed by his barrage. We cut to Tracks, Bluestreak, Prowl and Skids-with his only other line in the series-driving to the maze to investigate. Scrapper gets ready to fight, but Blitzwing wants them let through. "I want to take them on personally!" And we get.... AWESOME

The Autobots get lost in the maze. Blitzwing flies over, transforms into tank mode and mashes Bluestreak. Prowl and Skids collide in a fiery wreck and then are run over by Blitzwing. And finally, Tracks veers off course, hits a wall and is turned into scrap. Blitzwing drives back to the scoreboard and fires some more shots at it.

Back at... Astrotrain, he plays choo choo. He leads his train into the subway tunnels. They hit exposed wiring and... this is just sad. They also hit pipes. "It's hard to get good help these days."

Back with Blitzwing-Conqueror of the Autobots! he asks Scrapper how big the zone defense is. "Can't tell. All the others are lost in it!" We see Scrapper living up to his bio by turning the wrecked Autobots into a throne. Powerglide flies over and directs more victims Hoist and Smokescreen into the maze. They quickly find Scrapper and Smokescreen lays down a fog. Hoist lassos the throne, but Scrapper radios for help. "More points for Blitzwing!" he flies into the cloud, but literally butts head with Scrapper. Whoops!

Back with Astrotrain, he's hauling a respectable load of energon cubes. Thrust and a few other jets fly over. "Hey, Astrotrain! How's your job working on the railroad?" He calls for the 'Astroforce to assemble. The seekers fly into the tunnel and find carnage of wrecked trains. It's rather embarrassing. "Astrotrain couldn't lead rats to a garbage can." Note, not ratdroids or rattrons or something Cybertronian. Methinks they're finally assimilating into Earth culture.

Some of the trains try to rev up and go. But one of them hits a water main and i must say Astrotrain's cheering is simultaneously funny and pathetic. Anyway, the water main is hit and it's a gusher. An abnormally big gusher that's like Sherman Dam. It also hits Megatron and Starscream's tomb, sweeping them away. Megatron is understandable as he wraps his hands around Starscream's neck. "You led me into this trap!"

"I was tricked! The Triple Changers, they told me it was a power station!"

Megatron blows a hole in the roof and hauls himself up to the street. Starscream follows, but Megatron steps on his foot. "You are either lying, or you're stupid!"

"I'm stupid! I'm stupid!"

We cut to Optimus Prime, Ironhide and Spike as they spot Megatron and Starscream flying. Prime wades into the flood to try and seal the pipe-seriously, this is way too much water, but there's an animation hiccup and Spike is swept away. Prime tries to wade to him, but he's swept further away. he finally spots the boy on a ledge, buried under some rubble. He pushes it off, grabs him and transforms around Spike. Somehow, Prime's air conditioning revives him.

Powerglide flies over and takes Spike to safety. They see Trailbreaker on a rooftop. He uses his force field to begin directing the water from the city. We cut to the ruined Astroforce, then back to Prime and Ironhide as they get to the source. Ironhide uses his patented liquid nitrogen to seal it away.

Back to Blitzwing! at his scoreboard, but those glitching Constructicons run through it! They declare victory. Scrapper reminds they built his maze and he promised them a partnership in leading the Decepticons. "Tell you what, guys. Why don't you go build a bridge-and jump off it!" Ooh, big mistake! The COnstructicons merge into Devastator.

Back to some random building that Megatron and Starscream have wandered into. Prime appears and taunts them, sometimes a second time! "Incinerating you is of no interest to me. I'm looking for the leaders of the Decepticons." Megatron loses it and shoots at Prime, but he transforms and borrows a page from Jazz with a fancy light show from his headlights, driving off. Megatron and-and now they're outside in a badly-done jump cut.

We cut to the seekers flying and making bets on who wins. I love that. The flood sweeps into the stadium and Trailbreaker grabs... Astrotrain with his force field? *Shrugs* Animation errors. Prime brakes and laughs. "I never get involved in domestic squabbles."

We fade to the Autobots gathered outside the stadium, including the ones taken out by Blitzwing. To be fair, there's plenty of time for repairs. Ironhide sums it up. "I think we'll need a program to follow the players." Inside, Devastator is bullying Blitzwing as the flood breaks down the wall and Astrotrain floats in. He shoots Blitzwing and there's a breakdown as Megatron and Starscream fly in. "Get this straight. I[/b] am Decepticon leader. You are recyclable!" Devastator steps forward and Megatron fires, but the shots bounce off his armor. He grabs Megatron, tosses him aside and advances on Starscream.

"Megatron is a wimp!"

"So is Starscream!"

"Yes, but I'm fast!"

Blitzwing runs forward and says they have to work together and it breaks down. Seriously, it's just confusing as all hell. The Autobots stand outside and watch.

Back to the fight, and Megatron's the last one standing. not quite sure how that works out... "No! The Decepticon cause supersedes personal vengeance." Which contradicts a [i]lot of his actions. He flies off, the other Decepticons following.

The Autobots go inside the stadium, Ironhide saying Prime was right. Well, of course he is! Bluestreak declares there's only one great leader in the universe. And the Autobots... form a throne from their chassis.


"Have a seat, boss."

Prime shows why he's awesome as he waves them off. "Thrones are for Decepticons." he transforms. "Besides, I'd rather roll!" And they follow him out.

Thoughts
I LOVE this episode in so many ways. Decepticon-centered, and the contrast between Blitzwing and Astrotrain is awesome.

Blitzwing kicked ten kinds of ass, too. Some vague mumblings of zone defense and long bomb and he takes out four Autobots! And devastates a city, too. Astrotrain... not so much.

So, that water main. What the hell was it connected to, Lake Erie?!

RK_Striker_JK_5 wrote:"Slag, Sludge, go away. Me Grimlock demonstrating finesse-whatever that means."

And here is the introduction of Grimlock the Comedian.