The Energon Pub

Moonbase2 wrote:Is it true that guys really get over it a lot faster than girls? Girls usually have some crying sessions, you know, some retail therapy, etc, and pine for months if they really liked the guy, while guys seem to just be pissed for a few days (yet are pretty much normal) then go on their merry way.

Yes and no

Guys are better at not showing it. just because we aren't crying doesn't mean anything, because as a general rule guys aren't allowed to cry.

DarkJet wrote:

Moonbase2 wrote:Is it true that guys really get over it a lot faster than girls? Girls usually have some crying sessions, you know, some retail therapy, etc, and pine for months if they really liked the guy, while guys seem to just be pissed for a few days (yet are pretty much normal) then go on their merry way.

Yes and no

Guys are better at not showing it. just because we aren't crying doesn't mean anything, because as a general rule guys aren't allowed to cry.

It's very very hard for me to cry. Even at a funeral. When I do it's because I'm alone, or something triggers it. Even when I want to, I have a hard time getting that emotion out. It has a lot to do with my job. We have to be in control, collected and calm. We're taught to bury it until afterwards. It becomes habbit after a while.

proximus wrote:

DarkJet wrote:

Moonbase2 wrote:Is it true that guys really get over it a lot faster than girls? Girls usually have some crying sessions, you know, some retail therapy, etc, and pine for months if they really liked the guy, while guys seem to just be pissed for a few days (yet are pretty much normal) then go on their merry way.

Yes and no

Guys are better at not showing it. just because we aren't crying doesn't mean anything, because as a general rule guys aren't allowed to cry.

It's very very hard for me to cry. Even at a funeral. When I do it's because I'm alone, or something triggers it. Even when I want to, I have a hard time getting that emotion out. It has a lot to do with my job. We have to be in control, collected and calm. We're taught to bury it until afterwards. It becomes habbit after a while.

Science Fact:The male brain feels emotions more sharple than the female, saddly society has always allowed women more scope to empress these emotions.

That probably explains why the highest suicide rates are in young men, the emotion weight (which they were never thought to deal with) literally crushes them.
They are also the highest group for indirect suicides ie. alcoholism, dangerous driving, etc. And (non age related) mental illness

It is probably also the reason for homophobia-although that is pure speculation.

Its kinda sad really-but i cant let u know i think its sad because that aint macho

You guys need to read up on some David De Angelo. Google it, buy the book, and if you do things right you might never get the "let's be friends" crap ever again.

I have to admit that I hate seeing men cry. I mean, if someone died, that is fine. But otherwise, I don't really want to see it. And I don't even coddle my boys when they're hurt like I would a girl. I guess I'm reenforcing that, aren't I? What do you guys think? Should men cry in front of people, especially women? I've NEVER seen my husband cry, not even when he found out his uncle killed himself. He didn't cry when he witnessed two soldiers getting run over by a tank. I think those instances warrant a good cry, but not from him apparently.

I remember people complaining that Spiderman 3 had too much damn crying. So obviously men don't like other men that cry, either.

Moonbase2 wrote:I have to admit that I hate seeing men cry. I mean, if someone died, that is fine. But otherwise, I don't really want to see it. And I don't even coddle my boys when they're hurt like I would a girl. I guess I'm reenforcing that, aren't I? What do you guys think? Should men cry in front of people, especially women? I've NEVER seen my husband cry, not even when he found out his uncle killed himself. He didn't cry when he witnessed two soldiers getting run over by a tank. I think those instances warrant a good cry, but not from him apparently.

I remember people complaining that Spiderman 3 had too much damn crying. So obviously men don't like other men that cry, either.

I think your man went and cried somewhere in a corner ore what, were ever nobody could see him doing so!
That's what I do, wen I want to cry, yea I do cry!

And with Spider-Man 3, yea the movie made my cry, that's how bad I thought it was, not enough Venom, and action.

Dead Metal wrote:

Moonbase2 wrote:I have to admit that I hate seeing men cry. I mean, if someone died, that is fine. But otherwise, I don't really want to see it. And I don't even coddle my boys when they're hurt like I would a girl. I guess I'm reenforcing that, aren't I? What do you guys think? Should men cry in front of people, especially women? I've NEVER seen my husband cry, not even when he found out his uncle killed himself. He didn't cry when he witnessed two soldiers getting run over by a tank. I think those instances warrant a good cry, but not from him apparently.

I remember people complaining that Spiderman 3 had too much damn crying. So obviously men don't like other men that cry, either.

I think your man went and cried somewhere in a corner ore what, were ever nobody could see him doing so!
That's what I do, wen I want to cry, yea I do cry!

And with Spider-Man 3, yea the movie made my cry, that's how bad I thought it was, not enough Venom, and action.

Braveheart made me cry.....spider-man made me think of ways i could have spent the money i wasted on it.

Moonbase2 wrote:Is it true that guys really get over it a lot faster than girls? Girls usually have some crying sessions, you know, some retail therapy, etc, and pine for months if they really liked the guy, while guys seem to just be pissed for a few days (yet are pretty much normal) then go on their merry way.

I hope you girls don't think that. We let that **** stay on for years and years. Since we don't cry about it publicly.

I cried when my first girl broke up with me. I actually joined this site later that night, which is kind of disturbing. Been here ever since.

homelessjunkeon wrote:You guys need to read up on some David De Angelo. Google it, buy the book, and if you do things right you might never get the "let's be friends" crap ever again.

I have to second that. I just have to. The guy does know what he's talking about. He might seem low-end at first, with his blatant salesman writing style, and he might seem like an asshole with some of his additudes, but he's neither of those things. Well, maybe a little. But he is on the right track.



And Spiderman 2 and 3 had too much damn crying. In the comics and cartoon, Spidey makes wisecracks. In the movies, he takes his mask off and cries.

Which is hilarious because I distinctly remember, as a little kid, having a huge hissy fit temper tantrum, and my mom was losing all patience, so she asked, "Would Spiderman cry like that?" Well apparently he would, Mom.

I agree, the way I was raised is that men don't cry. Crying's for woman and babies. I've gone through periods in my life where I lost everything I owned, all my property and what I'd worked for, my family my kids and my friends, my health, literally everything. And I still couldn't cry. There were nights I wanted to cry just so I'd stop feeling sick and I still couldn't. It's just the way alot of guys are raised up, that crying only makes things worse.

plus there are alot of woman who say things about how disgusting it is to see a man cry, or that it grosses them out to see a man cry, and that stuff sinks in and takes root as well. I remember hearing woman say that when I was a kid and I now that that's another reason I don't cry now and haven't cried since,..hell since the original G1 TF's were on the air for the first time, lol.

Men don't want to see men cry, woman don't want to see men cry. It really doesn't leave us much for options. That's why we get ulcers and die earlier. Woman are allowed to show thier feelings, but it's been documented that men feel things very deeply. It's just that the only acceptable societal behaviour for a guy to express is basically anger. Everything else it seems like is looked down upon. We're here to be a man, keep all feelings inside, take care of our woman and babies, put food on the table and a roof over thier head, not complain about ****, and then one day we get to finally rest when we're dead.

Men don't cry because we're all wired to try to be alpha male*.
Alpha males don't get sick, they don't cry, they don't show signs of weakness, or make mistakes, or get dumped.

That's why these things **** guys up so badly is that we typically hold ourselves to these frankly unrealistic standards, and when we fail to meet these standards the first thing to happen is we think that there is something wrong with us.

*A certain degree of intervention during childhood will prevent this, which is an indication of sub-optimal child rearing. Not neccessarily bad child rearing, mind, just sub-optimal.

Moonbase2 wrote:Is it true that guys really get over it a lot faster than girls?

Actually no.

Statistics on suicide point to higher numbers of men not ever getting over it.

Moonbase2 wrote:I have to admit that I hate seeing men cry. I mean, if someone died, that is fine. But otherwise, I don't really want to see it.

I agree with a huge caveat.

The whole issue of men crying or not, it is unspoken. I'm talking normal guys, real dudes, nothing even approaching the emo/livejournal crowd.

IF for some reason I did cry or felt the need to and a woman found it necessary to give me any kind of **** over it...I'd be talking about wrath of God type anger as a response. Guys don't hardly ever break down or require consolation and if the response from the woman was condescension...I'd physically remove her from the room, house, or car.

Seriously. I think that would be the kind of thing which would require immediate removal from my life.

proximus wrote:Okay, this is a rant. I will just dedicate this as a Lament to the recently dumped. Go team go.

Don't worry. Sometimes rants are the lifeblood of recovery.

Well, if for some reason I see a man I know crying, knowing that it is something he doesn't normally do, I'd understand that something is really wrong and would never give him any crap over it. We women just don't need you guys to cry over insignificant things like we do, such as body issues or whatnot. Or when we fight...god that is ridiculous. See, when we are angry or upset, it is close to physically impossible not to cry. It's upsetting that we are crying, so we don't need you to cry as well.

Moonbase2 wrote: See, when we are angry or upset, it is close to physically impossible not to cry.

See the problem is, little boys feel the same exact way, but we're taught to choke it down, suck it up, be a man, etc.

It's not that we don't feel things, we're just not allowed to show it.

Woman cries over a sad movie? It's normal.

Guy cries over a sad movie? He's a fuggin' pu**y!!

which is fair?

now that being said, if I saw a guy crying over a movie I'd think he was a weakling too. If I can break my back and have my kids kidnapped and never see them again, and never shed a tear, then I don't ever want to see a guy crying over some stupid lame ass crap ever. Or I'd feel the urge to display the one emotion guys ARE allowed to show. Extreme violent rage.

Guys crying over nothing is pretty useless and disgusting. But it's a double standard. When something happens that's so awful you probably should cry,.....you can't. We're hard wired not to do it.

as for the emo kids and sh*t? screw em. Crybabies.

Moonbase2 wrote:See, when we are angry or upset, it is close to physically impossible not to cry. It's upsetting that we are crying, so we don't need you to cry as well.

That so throws your gender back 30-40 years.

Anyone ever heard the addage: Women learn to cry because men learn to assume guilt?

(I know, I sound terrible here, but I've been happily in a committed relationship for 5+ years, so...yea.)

Moonbase2 wrote:I have to admit that I hate seeing men cry. I mean, if someone died, that is fine. But otherwise, I don't really want to see it. And I don't even coddle my boys when they're hurt like I would a girl. I guess I'm reenforcing that, aren't I? What do you guys think? Should men cry in front of people, especially women? I've NEVER seen my husband cry, not even when he found out his uncle killed himself. He didn't cry when he witnessed two soldiers getting run over by a tank. I think those instances warrant a good cry, but not from him apparently.

I remember people complaining that Spiderman 3 had too much damn crying. So obviously men don't like other men that cry, either.

Why can't men cry?

OMG he seen two men crushed by a tank??

Thats not a crying moment thats a try not to get sick and freak out moment

Don't do that to your son be a mom and stop being rough

I have no clue how he will turn out but you have to show him some emotion or he could be more of a person that keeps things in...and then explode on somebody

I hate to cry as well. But I will, and have. And it's been over stuff a lot less serious than war. I think the last time I actually cried, not the last time I felt all choked up but actually cried, was after watching Why We Fight over a year ago. A lot of people would call me a puss right there. Why did I cry? Because the depression that had built up over the 2+ hours of documented war tragedies caused by the US, and the way the military industrial complex keeps moving forward, not even aware or caring, finally got to me. It probably lasted a good five minutes. Maybe a little less. And it was more like sobbing then crying. It wasn't loud.

And I'm going to go out on a limb and say I'm not a pussy because of that. Hell, maybe the movie was biased as hell and way off. Maybe it's not even that horrible. Or maybe it is and if that's the case, then sorry folks.

It's wrong that men have to force it off, but at the same time I'll proudly get on the bandwagon and say that I too find it upsetting to watch a man cry. The moment when I finally knew that was when a good friend of my dad's died and my mom got off the phone, came into the room were he was watching football and just said it. "Charlie died." And he started in right there, not even moving from the seat, still looking at the game. And he has a strong, manly voice. It was like no sound I had ever heard in my life. It was like a siren. I'll never forget that sound.

I hate to admit this but when my father was dying

We had him in a hospital bed in our living room with a nurse

I cried for all of 30 seconds for him and I didn't even cry at the funeral

I guess it was the way he treated my mother who was taking care of him and it was a neverending thankless job for her and he treated her like crap

Moonbase2 wrote:Well, if for some reason I see a man I know crying, knowing that it is something he doesn't normally do, I'd understand that something is really wrong and would never give him any crap over it. We women just don't need you guys to cry over insignificant things like we do, such as body issues or whatnot. Or when we fight...god that is ridiculous. See, when we are angry or upset, it is close to physically impossible not to cry. It's upsetting that we are crying, so we don't need you to cry as well.

So guys aren't allowed to have feelings? We are not robots you know.

We women just don't need you guys to cry over insignificant things like we do

It is rather presumptuous of you to say that the things that women cry over are insignificant (of course I don't know any male that has cried over their body), but what other things fall under the "whatnot" title?

If a guy gets upset over bills and weeps, then it may be because he does not feel as he is providing enough for his family.

You should NEVER tell anyone to suppress their feelings or emotions.

I am kind of in WJ's boat about the father issue, if my father passed away I would cry but I don't know how much due to the treatment I have gotten from him the past 36 years. Now if my mother passed, I would ball like a baby because she has been good to me and my family through the years.

My wife has said that she likes that I can be emotional when I need to and not an unfeeling robot like some men are.

Just so you know, she is 41 and I am 36. We have been married for almost 15 years.. So I do have some experience when it comes to marriage.

The reason my husband didn't cry, I think, when those soldiers got killed (everyone else cried or screamed and I don't blame them AT ALL!) is because his dad beat the **** out of him for lesser "offenses" than crying.

I guess I am backpedaling a little from what I said about men not crying....that probably comes from my husband's influence, because it didn't bother me so much before I met him (we've been together my entire adult life). I just said what I thought here, and now that I'm really thinking it over, I understand why men get so angry because they can't let it out. I'd rather men cry than hurt someone else or themselves.

I think it's less what women think about you crying (because most of us WANT you to show emotion) than what other MEN think about it. I want my kids to be emotionally healthy men, and Wheeljack35, I don't suppress them or not show emotion to them. I in fact love on them constantly, sing to them, kiss them (two rough and tumble little boys, that love being smooched--one kisses me all the time)...what about you guys with male children? Do you encourage them to be tough when they get hurt, or do you coddle them?

Even IF we have feelings, we don't talk about them.

Man Rule #1: No matter the circumstances, talking about how a fellow man is feeling is strictly prohibited. Only give a rough pat on the shoulder, and, if need be, offer to buy him a beer.

Women aren't taught, in general, to keep feelings to themselves. From childhood we are encouraged to talk it out, then give a good hug. But we are also naturally caring and nurturing, and communication is our strength.

If men are supposedly just as emotional as we are, why the pretense? Why keep it inside? See, I had even come to believe that you WEREN'T as feeling as we are, but I wasn't sure if it was because you were taught that way or if you really were that way. That was why I said those things.

Shadowman wrote:Even IF we have feelings, we don't talk about them.

Man Rule #1: No matter the circumstances, talking about how a fellow man is feeling is strictly prohibited. Only give a rough pat on the shoulder, and, if need be, offer to buy him a beer.

You have a lot of growing up to do if you really subscribe to this nonsense..

Men have feelings and express them.. Sorry but it happens in reality. Deal with it.

Why do some men keep it inside? Fear. They feel if they express emotion it shows weakness and men are not supposed to show weakness and that is bullshit. NO one should be scared to show their emotions because of what other guys (or anyone else for that matter) will think of them.

Quick story, I was in my junior year of high school, a GF whom I had deep feelings for and I broke up. While in the park after school some guy got in my face and told me I was a pussy for crying..
After a trip to the hospital, 3 broken ribs, broken right arm and dislocated shoulder and broken nose he got the point on who was a pussy.

Guys can show emotion and be tough as well.

Geez I understand your pain about the girlfreind I was in the same boat a few years back I was deeply in love with my ex

I think for me it actually ended up somewhat working in my favor. As an artist and musician I find that alot of the emotions and feelings I bottle up inside come out in my art. If I'm feeling really angry I end up writing a really fast brutal angry song. If I'm sad, I write a sad song. Etc,.

However guys that have no emotional outlet like that, I don't know what they do, honestly I would just think that one day they'd pop and probably kill someone.