The Energon Pub

I'm all for buying the dog an outfit as a way to mend fences, but I most certainly would not write an apology note.

I'd be sincere and make sure I said it to her face how sorry I am for inadvertently making fun of it, and how it was never intended, it was a genuine mistake.

I wouldn't bend over backwards to kiss anyone's skidplate just to find peace.

There's compromise, and then there's being a doormat.

Malikon wrote:I really enjoy that you both jumped to conclusions about my education level. Unless you were specifically saying that I don't have a psychiatric degree (which I don't)

No, I was specifically referring to the lack of a psychology degree.

You could hold multiple doctorates in Physics and it wouldn't make you any more knowledgeable regarding psychological disorders than anyone else who had passed a gen-psych class.

No, I was making a bit of a joke, one that was clearly lost on you.

Oh yes, because however sexist or otherwise offensive what you say might be, it's okay so long as it was a "joke".

Waving degrees around just reeks of insecurity... Inhouse fighting and insults from mods seems awfully childish.

Wow, your subtle attempts to continue offending me are so... lacking in subtlty.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Autobot032 wrote:I'm all for buying the dog an outfit as a way to mend fences, but I most certainly would not write an apology note.

I'd be sincere and make sure I said it to her face how sorry I am for inadvertently making fun of it, and how it was never intended, it was a genuine mistake.

I would disagree with you on two points:

1) I fear that she might find buying the dog an outfit to be patronizing her.

2) Notes can be 'safer' than speaking. I'm not suggesting he leave her a memo on the fridge, or send her an e-mail, but handing her his thoughts on paper has value. He has time to think about what he says before he says it. She can't interupt him. She can't argue with him until he's finished. She can't fluster him or drive him into saying something he doesn't mean.

Tonight on FOX, when Mods hijack threads. Glad we closed the topic so you could open it again.



"You're so cool Brewster!"

Obviously we have different senses of humor and you take things very seriously. Have fun with that.

Malikon wrote:Tonight on FOX, when Mods hijack threads. Glad we closed the topic so you could open it again.

You didn't close anything, you took the opportunity to throw in a final couple of jabs at us for fun, because that's what all of this has been about for you - having fun at everyone else's expense.

You throw out provocative comments that, if you're not an idiot, you know will offend someone, and then wait for someone to call you on it. Then start a flame war over it. Flames threaten to subside, throw in a few more jibes to fan them back up again. You're a troll, and if this is the way you carry on in general, I honestly don't understand why you haven't been banned.

Obviously we have different senses of humor and you take things very seriously. Have fun with that.

I'm sorry, but my sense of humor doesn't hinge on minimizing and manipulating others in a sick attempt to make me feel better about myself. In that sense, I do very much expect to "have fun with that", because while I'll be able to establish long-term, deep connections with other human beings, you won't be happy unless someone around you is suffering.

You want to take the high road now?

Leave this board and take your bigotry and bullying somewhere else.

Thanks everyone for the flurry of thoughts about this, it gives me a lot of avenues, and points to consider.

I think at this point in time, I'm going to let the issue go, she apologized for how she was towards me (a big and good thing), and is conscious of how unreasonable her outburst was. If someone can come forth with that I think it's cool to move on from that specific issue.


I'm still going to make a habit of recording any erratic behavior in case I ever feel I do need to come to the point of addressing mental health concerns with her. One member brought up a valid point (for me) that she may well be overthinking things (which she herself admits frequently) and through that overthinking her perception of what actually occurred becomes vastly skewed.

I don't feel the intensity of it merits bi-polar, but knowing her family on her mothers side has a history of depression, I feel I should keep watchful.

It's been really good to be able to vent this and get feedback, thanks a lot everyone for taking the time for this. I still have a lot to go over in my head, but I did want to let you know that your thoughts are appreciated in trying to help me keep a happy swamp.

Alligator

I mention one thing and 2 people turn it into an entire flamewar. I was'nt saying BRA's wife was bipolar. I was making several theories as to why she was acting the way she was. My cousin's wife was bipolar and it led to their divorce because she would'nt take her meds which is why I brought it up.

robofreak wrote:I mention one thing and 2 people turn it into an entire flamewar. I was'nt saying BRA's wife was bipolar. I was making several theories as to why she was acting the way she was. My cousin's wife was bipolar and it led to their divorce because she wouldn't take her meds which is why I brought it up.

I think it made sense to lay out all possibilities on the table, particularly if you witnessed your cousins marriage collapse due to mental health issues! No need for a flame-war folks, all opinions are welcome.

Thanks much

BigRobotAlligator wrote:Thanks everyone for the flurry of thoughts about this, it gives me a lot of avenues, and points to consider.

I think at this point in time, I'm going to let the issue go, she apologized for how she was towards me (a big and good thing), and is conscious of how unreasonable her outburst was. If someone can come forth with that I think it's cool to move on from that specific issue.


I'm still going to make a habit of recording any erratic behavior in case I ever feel I do need to come to the point of addressing mental health concerns with her. One member brought up a valid point (for me) that she may well be overthinking things (which she herself admits frequently) and through that overthinking her perception of what actually occurred becomes vastly skewed.

I don't feel the intensity of it merits bi-polar, but knowing her family on her mothers side has a history of depression, I feel I should keep watchful.

It's been really good to be able to vent this and get feedback, thanks a lot everyone for taking the time for this. I still have a lot to go over in my head, but I did want to let you know that your thoughts are appreciated in trying to help me keep a happy swamp.

Alligator

Again, I'd like to apologize to you for the derailment. I'm sincerely sorry, especially when it's something so serious.

I'm glad to hear that it's gotten better, and I hope my advice works in some capacity at least.

And so you know, with a history of Depression in her family, the chances of her having a link to Bi-Polar Disorder are most likely higher than average, but Depression is it's own illness, Bi-Polar contains Depression in it, but that doesn't mean it will turn to B-P. My Dad's side of the family has Depression, and none of them are B-P. My Mother's side has OCD, and rage problems. I'm full of genetic win!

With all of that, no B-P, but we do know the signs of it. And, even if B-P were to rear it's ugly head, it can be treated and taken care of with time and patience.

What I'm trying to say is, there's always a silver lining, and it's not always the worst case scenario.

Good luck.

BigRobotAlligator wrote:One member brought up a valid point (for me) that she may well be overthinking things (which she herself admits frequently) and through that overthinking her perception of what actually occurred becomes vastly skewed.

Alligator

Hmm, I think I was the one who said that. Imagine that, my post actually helped. You seem to have gotten what the point of my post was. I tried to make you laugh, then made a valid point based on experience. I really hope it helped, that's why I did it.

I guess that makes it worth being called a Troll, being asked to leave the board by the Mod, called a Bully and someone who loves watching other people be miserable, accused of inciting a flame war and all the other fun things he mentioned. Obviously I hit a nerve and he takes things far too seriously, but I will in the future limit the amount of time I spend on this board. It's rapidly becoming not a very friendly place it would seem.

Autobot032 I've got no problems with you man, I always thought you were a pretty cool guy. You make some helpful observations.

Sorry my humor rubs some people the wrong way, I've honestly never seen one of my posts get that misconstrued and twisted like that, nor have I ever been accused of being a troll. I do what I can to help, sorry if I wrapped that help in a snarky tongue in cheek post. Though I'm very glad it helped, because quite honestly I'm sure that's exactly what happened. It happens all the time, matter of fact it even happened to me tonight.

Like I said in my previous trolling flame war inducing post from hell. There's a big difference between what most woman hear, and what is actually being said.

Good luck with your Wife and puppy man, you seem like a pretty well put together guy who works hard at making your woman happy.

I commend you for that.

There's a big difference between what most woman hear, and what is actually being said.

Wow, it's almost like a compulsion for you isn't it? You make an overture of apologizing and then have to tack on more mysogynistic bullshit at the end.

Malikon wrote:I guess that makes it worth being called a Troll, being asked to leave the board by the Mod, called a Bully and someone who loves watching other people be miserable, accused of inciting a flame war and all the other fun things he mentioned.

All of which I stand by. Your 'advice' was wrapped in a sexist attack that generates a bigoted atmosphere that we don't need here, and your continued poking and prodding since then just makes it all the more clear what your real purpose here is.

Obviously I hit a nerve and he takes things far too seriously,

I'm not the only one whose toes you stomped on, I assure you that, just the only one willing to say anything about it to your face at this point.

but I will in the future limit the amount of time I spend on this board.

Good.

It's rapidly becoming not a very friendly place it would seem.

It'll be friendlier with you gone.

[quote][/quote]I'm glad to hear that it's gotten better, and I hope my advice works in some capacity at least.[quote]

Everyones input has worked to some degree. I may not agree with it all, but at the very least even the stuff that I don't feel "fits" gives me something to write off or put on the backburner.

Other bits and pieces give me ideas of what to keep an eye out for.

Some gives me ideas of what avenues to pursue at this moment

She doesn't make a habit of this, overall she is an amazing partner, we get along great, and live a great family life. This particular episode got me thinking of "that time....and that time.... etc etc" plus her family history, and past events in her life and the sheer irrationality of it all prompted me to put it out there for others thoughts.


So again thanks to all

I think I'll end this particular reply with some positive news, I have the custom heads for G1 Ratchet and Ironhide on the way, and I'm SO happy that the windshield faces will be a thing of the past. Thats right folks EYES, NOSE, AND MOUTH!

Alligator

BigRobotAlligator wrote:This particular episode got me thinking of "that time....and that time.... etc etc" plus her family history, and past events in her life

Be cautious with that sort of contemplation - It really is the only way to discern a pattern that would indicate a potentially serious problem but, on the other hand, we're inclined to over-perceive things that stand out in our mind as occurring more frequently than they really have. Not to mention the problem posed by Fundamental Attribution Error, but you seem self-aware enough that that's less of an issue.

I think I'll end this particular reply with some positive news, I have the custom heads for G1 Ratchet and Ironhide on the way, and I'm SO happy that the windshield faces will be a thing of the past. Thats right folks EYES, NOSE, AND MOUTH!

To each their own - I think I'll stick to getting their Universe incarnations. They may look like glued-together ceramics, but they've got the articulation to do the YMCA. Although honestly I think the convention exclusive remolds of towline might have been the best iterations of those two so far.

Dude you need to listen to lex and terry in the mornings.