The Energon Pub

From the collective thoughts of Schrutimus K. Prime:

"I've got the touch,
to sell you paper,
Eee-yeeeeah."

Bah weep graaagnah wheep ni ni bong fellow inhabitants of Cybertron. The above lines are lyrics from my favorite Sam Bush song circa 1986. I sing it to pump myself up before sales calls and yearly reviews.

As many of you are aware, I am patiently awaiting the passing of the Matrix of Regional Manager Leadership from my superior, Michael Scott Rod. I often long for the day when I shall become leader and lead us to victory over the evil Office Depoticons but for now I am concentrating on how to defeat a new found enemy in our very company. The computer that runs the Infinity website has recently become self-aware and has challenged me that it can out sell me in paper products. No matter, let it try, for I do so love a challenge. After I am done with it, the company will treat it like yesterdays model, ready for the scrap heap. Junk, that's what it is, junk.

In other news concerning my life, my energon beet farm had recently been infested with Insecticons. They began to mercilessly ravage and destroy my precious crop. I however made short work of them with my blaster until it reached the point that they began to beg for their very lives. It's funny how they who were without mercy now plea for it? I thought they were made of sterner stuff.

That is all,
Schrutimus K. (assistant to the) Prime