The Energon Pub

by **Evank_Horizon** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:15 pm

Mr. Coca Cola Classic vs. God's son
the new old guy vs. the older youngster

News Credits: 1014 · by **First Gen** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:26 pm

Im pretty sure thats sacreligious and very offensive on many terms.

by **Nuffs** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:42 pm

Didn't that already happen in South Park?

News Credits: 767 · by **Dead Metal** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:43 pm

I think this is going to offend many people on here. You should watch your step, we don't want to loose another forum!

by **Evank_Horizon** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 1:57 pm

Gee. (not to say jesus of course) I didn't realise the rest of the world was so stuck up. This is just for fun.

News Credits: 7 · by **Dragonslayer** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:44 pm

Nuffs wrote:Didn't that already happen in South Park?

No, but there was the episode where Santa was shot down over Iraq and Stan, Kyle, and Cartman asked Jesus to help them rescue him :lol:

News Credits: 767 · by **Dead Metal** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 2:54 pm

Evank_Horizon wrote::shock:

Gee. (not to say jesus of course) I didn't realise the rest of the world was so stuck up. This is just for fun.

Personaly I don't care about religon, but I can remember posting similar stuff in the philosophy forum, then it was shut down.

News Credits: 49 · by **Senor Hugo** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:00 pm

Dead Metal wrote:
Evank_Horizon wrote::shock:

Gee. (not to say jesus of course) I didn't realise the rest of the world was so stuck up. This is just for fun.

Personaly I don't care about religon, but I can remember posting similar stuff in the philosophy forum, then it was shut down.

See, that would be because the Philosophy Forum wasn't for talking about who'd win in a fight between Jesus and Santa. Hell we have a thread here about Odin vs Zeus, nobody complained about that. So if anyone gets offended by this thread, well they can go sit and spin.

Santa would win. He is able to deliver presents to all the children in the world in one single night. This gives him the speed advantage.

Since Jesus believes in turning the other cheek, we wouldn't fight. So Santa would KO or even kill Jesus, and since it takes him 3 days to come back.

Yeah Santa wins.

by **DesalationReborn** » Tue Dec 04, 2007 4:10 pm

Dead Metal wrote:
Evank_Horizon wrote::shock:

Gee. (not to say jesus of course) I didn't realise the rest of the world was so stuck up. This is just for fun.

Personaly I don't care about religon, but I can remember posting similar stuff in the philosophy forum, then it was shut down.

For some reason, after years of having a laid back stance on the subject, the PF gets locked, and religion becomes the forum taboo.

Anyway, Santa's immortal, fat and impregnable like Blob from X-men, can travel at the speed of light, and possesses a highly complex fortess on Earth's northern pole with tech far greater than Batman's. Jesus can ressurrect, walk on water, heal others, teleport, levitate, turn water to wine, and has exponential growth powers over fish and bread.

The one weakness I see is it takes Jesus 3 days to come back from the dead, so he can get put out at least for that time.

I'd go for Santa. He seems to have a bigger following, considering his influence China and the East through Bandai and Takira.

by **Evank_Horizon** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:09 am

Yeah Santa has got weight, speed, strenght and immortality. No wonder we barely hear about Jesus anymore in this holiday that bare his name. Or used to since so many people like to call it x-mas.

News Credits: 49 · by **Senor Hugo** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 10:19 am

Evank_Horizon wrote:Yeah Santa has got weight, speed, strenght and immortality. No wonder we barely hear about Jesus anymore in this holiday that bare his name. Or used to since so many people like to call it x-mas.

And now it's time for the history lesson. Christmas has always been around, long before Jesus, and Santa. It was originally called Yule. "Yule-Log" "Yule-Tide" etc come from this.

Wikipedia wrote:Yule celebrations at the winter solstice predate the conversion to Christianity. It was, in pre-conversion times, the name of a feast celebrated by sacrifice on mid-winter night of January 12th according to the Norwegian historian Olav Bø. [3] Though there are numerous references to Yule in the Icelandic sagas, there are few accounts of how Yule was actually celebrated, beyond the fact that it was a time for feasting. According to Adam of Bremen, the Swedish kings sacrificed male slaves every ninth year during the Yule sacrifices at the Temple at Uppsala. 'Yule-Joy', with dancing, continued through the Middle Ages in Iceland, but was frowned upon when the Reformation arrived. The custom of ritually slaughtering a boar on Yule survives in the modern tradition of the Christmas ham and the Boar's Head Carol.

"On Yule Eve, the best boar in the herd was brought into the hall where the assembled company laid their hands upon the animal and made their unbreakable oaths. Heard by the boar, these oaths were thought to go straight to the ears of Freyr himself.Once the oaths had been sworn, the boar was sacrificed in the name of Freyr and the feast of boar flesh began. The most commonly recognized remnants of the sacred boar traditions once common at Yule has to be the serving of the boar's head at later Christmas feasts".[4]

The confraternities of artisans of the 9th century, which developed into the medieval guilds, were denounced by Catholic clergy for their "conjurations" when they swore to support one another in coming adversity and in business ventures. The occasions were annual banquets on December 26,

"feast day of the pagan god Jul, when it was possible to couple with the spirits of the dead and with demons that returned to the surface of the earth... Many clerics denounced these conjurations as being not only a threat to public order but also, more serious in their eyes, satanic and immoral. Hincmar, in 858, sought in vain to Christianize them" (Rouche 1987, p. 432).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule

Then with Santa, Coca Cola took St. Nicholas, turned him into a jolly fat-guy dressed in red. Thus we get Santa Claus of today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Yay for learning!

by **Evank_Horizon** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:20 am

Senor Hugo wrote:
Evank_Horizon wrote:Yeah Santa has got weight, speed, strenght and immortality. No wonder we barely hear about Jesus anymore in this holiday that bare his name. Or used to since so many people like to call it x-mas.

And now it's time for the history lesson. Christmas has always been around, long before Jesus, and Santa. It was originally called Yule. "Yule-Log" "Yule-Tide" etc come from this.

Wikipedia wrote:Yule celebrations at the winter solstice predate the conversion to Christianity. It was, in pre-conversion times, the name of a feast celebrated by sacrifice on mid-winter night of January 12th according to the Norwegian historian Olav Bø. [3] Though there are numerous references to Yule in the Icelandic sagas, there are few accounts of how Yule was actually celebrated, beyond the fact that it was a time for feasting. According to Adam of Bremen, the Swedish kings sacrificed male slaves every ninth year during the Yule sacrifices at the Temple at Uppsala. 'Yule-Joy', with dancing, continued through the Middle Ages in Iceland, but was frowned upon when the Reformation arrived. The custom of ritually slaughtering a boar on Yule survives in the modern tradition of the Christmas ham and the Boar's Head Carol.

"On Yule Eve, the best boar in the herd was brought into the hall where the assembled company laid their hands upon the animal and made their unbreakable oaths. Heard by the boar, these oaths were thought to go straight to the ears of Freyr himself.Once the oaths had been sworn, the boar was sacrificed in the name of Freyr and the feast of boar flesh began. The most commonly recognized remnants of the sacred boar traditions once common at Yule has to be the serving of the boar's head at later Christmas feasts".[4]

The confraternities of artisans of the 9th century, which developed into the medieval guilds, were denounced by Catholic clergy for their "conjurations" when they swore to support one another in coming adversity and in business ventures. The occasions were annual banquets on December 26,

"feast day of the pagan god Jul, when it was possible to couple with the spirits of the dead and with demons that returned to the surface of the earth... Many clerics denounced these conjurations as being not only a threat to public order but also, more serious in their eyes, satanic and immoral. Hincmar, in 858, sought in vain to Christianize them" (Rouche 1987, p. 432).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule

Then with Santa, Coca Cola took St. Nicholas, turned him into a jolly fat-guy dressed in red. Thus we get Santa Claus of today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Yay for learning!

Yeah I know about St-Nicolas but you must agree that today's Santa Claus has nothing to do with what St. Nicolas was. St. Nicolas was just an old man with a cane wandering and giving toys to kids. No reindear-powered lightspeed flying sled, no eternal life, no north-pole super toy factory... not even his physical apearance was the same.

And how about sacrifying a male slave or a bore on boxing day or new year's eve? It might be fun!

by **DesalationReborn** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 6:42 pm

Evank_Horizon wrote:
Senor Hugo wrote:
Evank_Horizon wrote:Yeah Santa has got weight, speed, strenght and immortality. No wonder we barely hear about Jesus anymore in this holiday that bare his name. Or used to since so many people like to call it x-mas.

And now it's time for the history lesson. Christmas has always been around, long before Jesus, and Santa. It was originally called Yule. "Yule-Log" "Yule-Tide" etc come from this.

Wikipedia wrote:Yule celebrations at the winter solstice predate the conversion to Christianity. It was, in pre-conversion times, the name of a feast celebrated by sacrifice on mid-winter night of January 12th according to the Norwegian historian Olav Bø. [3] Though there are numerous references to Yule in the Icelandic sagas, there are few accounts of how Yule was actually celebrated, beyond the fact that it was a time for feasting. According to Adam of Bremen, the Swedish kings sacrificed male slaves every ninth year during the Yule sacrifices at the Temple at Uppsala. 'Yule-Joy', with dancing, continued through the Middle Ages in Iceland, but was frowned upon when the Reformation arrived. The custom of ritually slaughtering a boar on Yule survives in the modern tradition of the Christmas ham and the Boar's Head Carol.

"On Yule Eve, the best boar in the herd was brought into the hall where the assembled company laid their hands upon the animal and made their unbreakable oaths. Heard by the boar, these oaths were thought to go straight to the ears of Freyr himself.Once the oaths had been sworn, the boar was sacrificed in the name of Freyr and the feast of boar flesh began. The most commonly recognized remnants of the sacred boar traditions once common at Yule has to be the serving of the boar's head at later Christmas feasts".[4]

The confraternities of artisans of the 9th century, which developed into the medieval guilds, were denounced by Catholic clergy for their "conjurations" when they swore to support one another in coming adversity and in business ventures. The occasions were annual banquets on December 26,

"feast day of the pagan god Jul, when it was possible to couple with the spirits of the dead and with demons that returned to the surface of the earth... Many clerics denounced these conjurations as being not only a threat to public order but also, more serious in their eyes, satanic and immoral. Hincmar, in 858, sought in vain to Christianize them" (Rouche 1987, p. 432).

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule

Then with Santa, Coca Cola took St. Nicholas, turned him into a jolly fat-guy dressed in red. Thus we get Santa Claus of today.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus

Yay for learning!

Yeah I know about St-Nicolas but you must agree that today's Santa Claus has nothing to do with what St. Nicolas was. St. Nicolas was just an old man with a cane wandering and giving toys to kids. No reindear-powered lightspeed flying sled, no eternal life, no north-pole super toy factory... not even his physical apearance was the same.

And how about sacrifying a male slave or a bore on boxing day or new year's eve? It might be fun!

Actually, Christmas started with an attempt at the eradication of Saturnalia, along with other Roman celebrations like the birth of Mithra, the messianic Lamb of God. It then spread with Christianity and pulled the same overlay with the Germanic peoples of the north. Like then, we celebrate the modern holiday on December 25, the winter solstice, which was big for many sun-related deities, and continue the tradition of giving presents, though we generally skip the drunken buttsex.

by **Grahf** » Wed Dec 05, 2007 11:15 pm

Dragonslayer wrote:
Nuffs wrote:Didn't that already happen in South Park?

No, but there was the episode where Santa was shot down over Iraq and Stan, Kyle, and Cartman asked Jesus to help them rescue him

Actually, the Santa vs Jesus thing was in the first South Park. It was a short film called The Spirit of Christmas before Comedy Central got ahold of the show.

-profanity warning-
http://youtube.com/watch?v=GsCGEXBnGgI

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 1:29 am

Jesus is a Ninja.

Therefore, Jesus wins.

by **Evank_Horizon** » Thu Dec 06, 2007 9:31 am

Santa moves at the speed of light unheard and unseen. He can enter houses through even tiny air vents. He can probably multiply himself to cover a whole time zone. And all that while carrying tons of presents on his back. If this guys haven't got any ninja training I don't know where he got it.

A while back there were only a few western contries celebrating Christmas and not even all those contries were covered by Santa himself. Now asia and africa are entering the game. And even worst the world polulation is still growing. And now even pets get to receve presents!

You know I'm pretty sure he isn't as fat once he is done. The next twelve months must be like sumo training on steroids. He realy need all those calories before the crazy night starts.

by **snavej** » Wed Sep 27, 2023 5:33 am

Santa's red costume with white fur trim is actually bloody animal skins turned inside out. The fur is on the inside, the blood is on the outside. He's warm, the animals are dead.

Clearly, Jesus wins. Does no one know basic facts anymore?!