Psycho Warrior wrote:The Grim Locust wrote:Psycho Warrior wrote:*throws grandma in front of a bus*
You just wrecked a bus. Do you have any idea how much those things cost?
*takes photo of wrecked bus halfway embedded into Granny's backside*
Damn, granny's been lifting weights.

Well, not really.
You see, old people are "special."
-puts on glasses and lab-coat-
As cell begin to die as people age, their skeletal structure starts to shrink, and compress.
As the person continually gets older, their skeleton compresses even more, causing a very high increase in gravity in what we have come to call, the solar super plexus.
Now, this high concentration of gravity comes with a price. In the buttocks and nether regions of the old person, a miniature black hole forms, sucking in anything that gets to close to it, even light, and compressing it into a tiny tiny tiny tiny size.
That is why the bus stopped halfway into granny. Her blackhole, is not, at present, large enough to pull in the rest of the bus.
This miniature blackhole in old people, causes them to be very dangerous at their even older ages. The black hole has also shown some very unusual properties. The constant pull of the black hole on the old person, seems to suck out their memories and intelligence. Science currently calls this "Alzheimer's disease" however, it is really the MBH.
The MBH effects everything from memory, to poor driving skills.
This is why we at the Board of Science and Other Smart Stuff, deal with this growing problem. After an old person dies, we sneak in and replace the old persons body with a sawdust stuffed replica.
Then we take the old people to a dumping facility located in the Bermuda Triangle, where their bodies are disposed of beneath the ocean.
Unfortunately our work is being hindered, our best agent Dr.Kevorkian, was arrested. And new applications in the medical department allow old people to live even longer.
If we're not careful, a MBH in an old person could easily grow large enough to engulf the world.
Also, as a side note. This phenomenon in old people explains why after an unsuspecting innocent person accidentally encounters two old people doing it, they experience temporary blindness. When in fact, the combined MBH's just sucked all the light out from the adjoining room. Making it seem like the person had in fact gone blind.