The Energon Pub

I hope this petition is a misunderstood piece of satire ala Johnathan Swift's "A Modest Proposal."

More characters she forgot:

Megatron- Isn't a TV brand named Megatron, free advertising for those capitalist swine

Jazz- blackface

Unicron- Satan. also a racial stereotype of people of Scandinavian descent with his horned helmet

Sixshot- code word for 666

All Transformers are vehicles and the G1 dependence on energon from oil promotes global warning and plain out advertisement for the oil industy

Spike and Sparkplug- originally oil rig workers. portray the evils of BP in overtly positive light

Spike- a weapon used in the genocide campaign against the undead including vampires

TF Prime Starscream- an attempt to portray all transsexuals in a bad light

Red Alert- an character assassination of Alex Jones

All fembots (and many cartoon females) are portrayed as well shaped females thus promote negative attitude toward body image

Warpath- Tourette's syndrome stereotype

Snake Eyes- shill for the gambling industry

Since I've got nothing better to do right now (which is probably how that petition started, anyways)...

Ratchet teaches kids to betray their friends.

Rat = to rat someone out.

Chet = Shares 3 letters with the term "Che", which means buddy in Argentina.

So, Ratchet implies ratting out your buddy.

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Ironhide encourages illegal possession of firearms.

Iron: most guns contain some form of metal alloy.

Hide: to conceal.

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The Arcee sisters in ROTF negatively influence girls to become biker chicks, due to their alt modes and their holographic riders.

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Combiners promote sexual promiscuity, i.e. orgies.

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Junkions promote littering.

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Galvatron's alt mode is sexually suggestive (looks like a dildo)

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Reflector glamorizes the paparazzi, and encourages kids to take upskirt photos.

Railracer.

Still got some time to kill:

Might as well drag MLP into the mess....

Pinkie Pie encourages psychotic cannibalism; baking pies stuffed with the pinkies of your victims.

Twilight Sparkle glorifies the occult. The movie Twilight is about vampires, and vampires are occult. And cults are the devil.

Applejack stereotypes Southern women.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:Twilight Sparkle glorifies the occult. The movie Twilight is about vampires, and vampires are occult. And cults are the devil.

I think this one could actually be a complaint. I really do. I can see people getting up in arms about it.

RhA wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:Twilight Sparkle glorifies the occult. The movie Twilight is about vampires, and vampires are occult. And cults are the devil.

I think this one could actually be a complaint. I really do. I can see people getting up in arms about it.

After what happened with Harry Potter, I wouldn't be surprised.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:

RhA wrote:

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:Twilight Sparkle glorifies the occult. The movie Twilight is about vampires, and vampires are occult. And cults are the devil.

I think this one could actually be a complaint. I really do. I can see people getting up in arms about it.

After what happened with Harry Potter, I wouldn't be surprised.

My point exactly.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:Pinkie Pie encourages psychotic cannibalism; baking pies stuffed with the pinkies of your victims.

horrifyingly enough, besides the pinkies, this is a thing...

RhA wrote:Railracer.

Powerglide

Also Beachcomber.

I should show this lady the pokemon games, but first I need to name one pantysniffer and teach it tackle, bind, harden, and stringshot

Can't you...... Can't you...... Can't you tryp like I do..... Oh sorry got carried away there.

Optimus Prime clearly has to go. After all he has prime in his name. Which is a classification for meat. Which comes from animals. People are animals. So if we eat meat it's like eating people. So somehow Optimus Prime equates to eating people. So listed.

njb902 wrote:Optimus Prime clearly has to go. After all he has prime in his name. Which is a classification for meat. Which comes from animals. People are animals. So if we eat meat it's like eating people. So somehow Optimus Prime equates to eating people. So listed.

Plus, Optimus Prime means Optimism First, teaching kids to be TOO optimistic, thus encouraging recklessness.

It all makes sense somehow...like cattle mutilations.

Many Micromasters have "objectionable" names, so I'll just say this: Missile Master.

BeastProwl wrote:At least according to this guy, who's obviously an expert.
http://www.petitions24.com/stop_hasbro_from_corrupting_kids_with_toys
I hate this planet.

Aw, come on! I hope you were not serious in your comment.

That guy is either a troll that try too hard, or a Cracked collumnist drafting a parody article. I was howling with laughter all the way!
Great job, whoever wrote that hillarious peice!

-Kanrabat- wrote:

BeastProwl wrote:At least according to this guy, who's obviously an expert.
http://www.petitions24.com/stop_hasbro_from_corrupting_kids_with_toys
I hate this planet.

Aw, come on! I hope you were not serious in your comment.

That guy is either a troll that try too hard, or a Cracked collumnist drafting a parody article. I was howling with laughter all the way!
Great job, whoever wrote that hillarious peice!

Or it could be real.

Oh and you owe us a name and description.

Kanrabat
suspiciously close to Can Rabbit, teaches kids to stuff rabbits into cans...
RUN JELZE!!!

njb902 wrote:

-Kanrabat- wrote:

BeastProwl wrote:At least according to this guy, who's obviously an expert.
http://www.petitions24.com/stop_hasbro_from_corrupting_kids_with_toys
I hate this planet.

Aw, come on! I hope you were not serious in your comment.

That guy is either a troll that try too hard, or a Cracked collumnist drafting a parody article. I was howling with laughter all the way!
Great job, whoever wrote that hillarious peice!

Or it could be real.

Oh and you owe us a name and description.

I owe WHAT? I own you NOTHING you wippersnapper.
You make me think about one Transformers that have a name soo traumatizing, you'll curl into a foetal position in your bathtub, mumbling incoherently.
It's STARSCREAM.
God, that perfect being, created the stars by painting little dots in the ceiling that is our sky. (Sattlelites and all that jazz are just make beleive so the governement can control our minds. But Im safe with my tinfoil hat).
Anyway, Starscream. Science guys, those devil worshippers, try to tell us that stars are just huge giant balls of gas, making nuclear explosions all the times. Then, when a star burn up all of it's fuel, it can colaplse on istelf, creating a black hole, or exploding in a supernova. So, when a star die, it SCREAM. It either gigaexplode, of it send a death ray that can travel billions of miles. So, it's implied that the scream of a star can end all of existence. There's BILLIONS of stars in the sky. So, that mean that all those painted dots could just die and their scream will cause the apocalypse. Ridiculous. Only GOD can decide when THE worls, OUR world, the ONLY world, can end.

So, BOYCOT STARSCREAM! It's just sciency propaganda.

Inferno. Encourages children to commit arson. Hot Spot may be related.

Hotspot's a good one.
But not for arson

-Kanrabat- wrote:

njb902 wrote:

-Kanrabat- wrote:

BeastProwl wrote:At least according to this guy, who's obviously an expert.
http://www.petitions24.com/stop_hasbro_from_corrupting_kids_with_toys
I hate this planet.

Aw, come on! I hope you were not serious in your comment.

That guy is either a troll that try too hard, or a Cracked collumnist drafting a parody article. I was howling with laughter all the way!
Great job, whoever wrote that hillarious peice!

Or it could be real.

Oh and you owe us a name and description.

I owe WHAT? I own you NOTHING you wippersnapper.
You make me think about one Transformers that have a name soo traumatizing, you'll curl into a foetal position in your bathtub, mumbling incoherently.
It's STARSCREAM.
God, that perfect being, created the stars by painting little dots in the ceiling that is our sky. (Sattlelites and all that jazz are just make beleive so the governement can control our minds. But Im safe with my tinfoil hat).
Anyway, Starscream. Science guys, those devil worshippers, try to tell us that stars are just huge giant balls of gas, making nuclear explosions all the times. Then, when a star burn up all of it's fuel, it can colaplse on istelf, creating a black hole, or exploding in a supernova. So, when a star die, it SCREAM. It either gigaexplode, of it send a death ray that can travel billions of miles. So, it's implied that the scream of a star can end all of existence. There's BILLIONS of stars in the sky. So, that mean that all those painted dots could just die and their scream will cause the apocalypse. Ridiculous. Only GOD can decide when THE worls, OUR world, the ONLY world, can end.

So, BOYCOT STARSCREAM! It's just sciency propaganda.

Here I was, thinking that Starscream was only meant to turn little girls into idol-chasing groupies--you know, screaming at the stars.

And now I find out he's also a propaganda tool for Scientology and atheism. And his boyish looks in the G1 cartoon was meant to endear us to Tom Cruise, that evil alien-worshiping heretic.

Sign the petition! We must save our children from this filth!

...oh, and Blackarachnia promotes S&M.

-Kanrabat- wrote:

njb902 wrote:

-Kanrabat- wrote:

BeastProwl wrote:At least according to this guy, who's obviously an expert.
http://www.petitions24.com/stop_hasbro_from_corrupting_kids_with_toys
I hate this planet.

Aw, come on! I hope you were not serious in your comment.

That guy is either a troll that try too hard, or a Cracked collumnist drafting a parody article. I was howling with laughter all the way!
Great job, whoever wrote that hillarious peice!

Or it could be real.

Oh and you owe us a name and description.

I owe WHAT? I own you NOTHING you wippersnapper.
You make me think about one Transformers that have a name soo traumatizing, you'll curl into a foetal position in your bathtub, mumbling incoherently.
It's STARSCREAM.
God, that perfect being, created the stars by painting little dots in the ceiling that is our sky. (Sattlelites and all that jazz are just make beleive so the governement can control our minds. But Im safe with my tinfoil hat).
Anyway, Starscream. Science guys, those devil worshippers, try to tell us that stars are just huge giant balls of gas, making nuclear explosions all the times. Then, when a star burn up all of it's fuel, it can colaplse on istelf, creating a black hole, or exploding in a supernova. So, when a star die, it SCREAM. It either gigaexplode, of it send a death ray that can travel billions of miles. So, it's implied that the scream of a star can end all of existence. There's BILLIONS of stars in the sky. So, that mean that all those painted dots could just die and their scream will cause the apocalypse. Ridiculous. Only GOD can decide when THE worls, OUR world, the ONLY world, can end.

So, BOYCOT STARSCREAM! It's just sciency propaganda.

Hahaha

TF Animated Perceptor- Stephen Hawking. Merely an advertisement for his literary career.

Shockwave- Negatively un-PC portrayal of disabled people especially those with only one eye as villians. Heck, this anti-"one eyed guy" stereotype started with the negative portrayal of Polyphemos in Homer's Odyssey.

Dinobots- negative portrayal of both the mentally disabled (I cannot even tell if that term is PC anymore or now a slur, I still hate the term retarded) and of Neanderthal man.

Mindwipe- occultist and also racist caricature of Eastern Europeans

Let us not even get into MLP Rainbow Dash's color scheme.

First Aid - how dare kids get the idea that helping to heal others is a good thing!

Arctorro wrote:First Aid - how dare kids get the idea that helping to heal others is a good thing!

Conversely, he could also be an homage to the world's first HIV carrier. First AID, get it?

To understand the mind of the deranged, you must first think like them.

You know guys, I hate to be this guy right now, but I think we've successfully killed this thread. Yes I know I took part in it, but really njb902's Galvatron comment really is the best comment since it works with the same (insane) logic as the real petition.
And now we've ruined it.

SKYWARPED_128 wrote:...oh, and Blackarachnia promotes S&M.

...and on that note I'm off to Toys R Us to go pick myself up one.

Oh, and I signed the petition "Ima Nazhole". Didn't feel the least bit bad about adding a name to the list (however juvenile an act it was) since there is NO WAY any of that petition is going to be taken seriously. If, in fact, the person who started that petition is actually serious then I feel incredibly bad for this guys kids. What an f'd up life they must have ahead of them.