The Energon Pub

Of course not all women like 'jerks'.

Some invariably do. And some guys like she-jerks. But then, not everyone you think is a jerk is actually one in the first place.

People are all different.

Saying that, of course, I've known my fair share of couples who you wonder why one is with the other. Hell, my ex-wife turned out to be a jerk.

Blackstreak wrote:I can also relate to the issue on women trying to change the man. I think my latest gf and I tried to change each other. It may have worked except I'm 37 now and set in my ways, she's young and just starting to experience life as an adult. There's no room for changing when your stubborn. I would rather find someone who accepts me for who I am and I can accept her for who she is. That makes for a lot less work should marriage come into play.
So what is this all about as I talk about my experience? My advice is to avoid being the jerk, but be bad enough to avoid being nice also.

From my experiance of being married 16 years to the same guy and hearing my friends tell their stories as well what you said it right on. When you find the right person you love them for who they are not what they can be made into. My husband has a loyalty streak that can really drive me insane at times. There was one instance where it was clear in my eyes that this guy was taking advantage of my husband but my husband either did not want to see it or ignored it. He was a sub contractor for years and even though he no longer does it full time he keeps his licence currant. They had him doing one remodel after another for them using their friendship as payment. I wanted to have a fit and force him to stop working with them. My mother was the one who pointed out that the same characters that first attracted me to him are still going strong so why would I want to change that. She reminded me how intellegent my sweetheart is so let him be. She was right of course. When they came up with a brilliant idea to funnel 30,000 dollars in insurance money through his construction name so they could get the cash without having to use is on repairs of their business my husband said no. It is sad because ended the friendship.
My husband is still as loyal as they come he is thankfully a lot more wiser about who he is loyal to now. When he gets a phone call that one of his friends is in need he is there. That is what first attracted me to him 17 years ago so I would not want to change him. Interesting thing is how we both change together to suit each others needs. I change thing I do so I can better make him happy and I catch him doing the same thing.

Loyalty is the best value any person can have. You are very lucky.

Tekka wrote:Loyalty is the best value any person can have. You are very lucky.

very true! Hold on to that like there is no tomorrow, because it is rare and precious! Loyalty and honesty are two things I respect above all.

That is my husband 100% I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve such a wonderful man. Funny he says the same thing about me.One of his co workers told me how when my husband talks about me his face lights up.
He also has an awesome work ethic which has landed him the department managers position at the home improvment store he now works at. He came home and told me, he also had the pay scale that he was now in. Oh my lands!!

Missourisnowflakes wrote:That is my husband 100% I sometimes wonder what I did to deserve such a wonderful man. Funny he says the same thing about me.One of his co workers told me how when my husband talks about me his face lights up.
He also has an awesome work ethic which has landed him the department managers position at the home improvment store he now works at. He came home and told me, he also had the pay scale that he was now in. Oh my lands!!

That is really awesome. But unfortunately stories like yours are rare. I wish you the best of luck in your continued marriage.

they will only settle for the jerk to get the confidence that he owns. Finding that in a nerd/nice guy is just plain rare.

Women want a man, not a boy. It's pure instinct, not a conscious decision she makes.

AlienQuiksilver wrote:they will only settle for the jerk to get the confidence that he owns. Finding that in a nerd/nice guy is just plain rare.

Women want a man, not a boy. It's pure instinct, not a conscious decision she makes.

yup.

Jerkiness however does not equal confidence. There are plenty of Jerks I know who are complete pussies when confronted. Confidence can be found in a variety of personality types and is not exclusive to assholes. Just as there are women who prefer to prey on the sniveling, cowardly sort of man because they are easier to deal with.

And that's before you get into all the mental dysfunction of people with "different" tastes.

Tekka wrote:Jerkiness however does not equal confidence. There are plenty of Jerks I know who are complete pussies when confronted. Confidence can be found in a variety of personality types and is not exclusive to assholes. Just as there are women who prefer to prey on the sniveling, cowardly sort of man because they are easier to deal with.

And that's before you get into all the mental dysfunction of people with "different" tastes.

My neighbor, Dave is a nice guy but is alos tough. His kid and some other kid on the football team had a disagreement so the father of this other kid is talking about beating up Dave's boy and encouraging his son to fight Dave's boy. Totally immature for an adult to talk about beating up an 11 year old. Well he was having a good time sounding tough until Dave shows up at his front door demanding to know why he wants to beat his child. I wish someone had that moment recorded This Jerk talks the talk as long as the person is weaker then him.
Most women who think they want a jerk are probably wanting a nice guy who is also tough.

Powersurge wrote:I.... they want a guy they can tame and mold into their perfect man

Too true-I have had no end of trouble in the past with that -sigh- fortunately I found a gal as equally cracked as I am. Only problem is that now I am working as a teacher full time I look to clean and neat for her!!!! She wishes I would look all creepy and rough like i did when we met!!!

The whole thing is a double edged sword!!!

GrimSqueaker wrote:

Powersurge wrote:I.... they want a guy they can tame and mold into their perfect man

Too true-I have had no end of trouble in the past with that -sigh- fortunately I found a gal as equally cracked as I am. Only problem is that now I am working as a teacher full time I look to clean and neat for her!!!! She wishes I would look all creepy and rough like i did when we met!!!

The whole thing is a double edged sword!!!

Shame on you for not being creepy and rough.Go and roll around in some gravel and smear yourself in grease after school.

Tekka wrote:Jerkiness however does not equal confidence.

I most definitely agree with this. I have a friend who is very confident... he knows his strengths well and isn't shy about putting them to use or knowing when he's the right man for the job.

But it's a quiet confidence... i.e. he's just innately secure with himself, not outwardly projecting his ego. Personality-wise he's pretty much the complete opposite of a jerk... he's very sweet, kind, and loyal, and doesn't brag or lord himself other people.

I actually find too much confidence a turnoff myself. Part of it's a bit selfish in that I'm pretty shy and insecure myself, so being around someone who's very self-confident tends to make me uncomfortable and feel even *more* insecure in comparison.

And part of it is that shyness just feels more honest. I'd find it romantic to hear a guy be nervous about telling me that he likes me, even if it's with something that's not the most polished line or fanciest gift, because it means he cares enough about me to really want me to like him and be worried about it. Whereas some guy who's all smooth and confident kind of gives me the sense of not being entirely true with his feelings. Kind of like, "Hey, I know I'm the hot stuff, so if you're crazy enough not to like me, there's a million other women I could get." Doesn't make me feel very special or important.

Plus shy men are sweet and cute. It's fun seeing them blush.

Tekka wrote:

GrimSqueaker wrote:

Powersurge wrote:I.... they want a guy they can tame and mold into their perfect man

Too true-I have had no end of trouble in the past with that -sigh- fortunately I found a gal as equally cracked as I am. Only problem is that now I am working as a teacher full time I look to clean and neat for her!!!! She wishes I would look all creepy and rough like i did when we met!!!

The whole thing is a double edged sword!!!

Shame on you for not being creepy and rough.Go and roll around in some gravel and smear yourself in grease after school.

I feel so ashamed

I never understood the whole thing that some folks get into relationships with the mission of changing their significant other! That never made sense to me. I guess that is why I am still single...I just ain't met a man yet that is worth a tinker's dam AS IS!

i dont know sometimes i jerk in person but most of the time im a jerk on message boards where some of my opions can be little strong will for some poepel

Uh, whats up with the resurrection of dead threads?

Senor Hugo wrote:Uh, whats up with the resurrection of dead threads?

It's like the End of Days...for the internet. You know, the dead threads will rise from the backlogs, all of that.

"Do women like jerks?"

The dozen scars across my heart ar screaming "YESS!!!!" right about know.....I consider myself a nice guy..... nuff said.

Wanna know about my best (female)friend who went on vacation with me and a bunch of friends (that she dind't know before)this summer?
Only to end up in a relationship with a 'freind of a freind' who also tagged along on that vacation....now i hardly ever see her, and if i do she's not exactly the girl who used to cuddle up with me on the sofa she was before....

Or about the girl I courted and seriously flirted with for 2 years over the internet, trying to get her to meet me in person.... only to see her end up with some asshole she met on the same inetcommunity she met mee!, and i'm talking know 'player' here....the kindoff guy who looks at women like paper tissues...'use and throw away when done'

and the...

then there was that one who...


Any of u guys got jobs to get to in the morning? because I can write a bloody BOOK on the subject right here on the spot.....

*gets out the sledgehammer and beats this thread back into death*

Women do not like jerks. There just seems to be an overabundance of them around these days, so some feel there is no choices.


Their loss.

It has nothing to do with women liking "jerks". If you are a single male and you have a friend\relative that has split up with her boyfriend or husband and they come crying to you, that doesn't neccessarily make you the "good guy" or him the "villian". Most of the time in this situation we hear one side of the story and also supplant our own personal feelings on the matter. Often I note in threads like this one, there always seems to be an element of jealousy on the part of the "good guy", that the girl should be with him and no the other guy.

If you see a guy that acts like an idiot around other guys with his girlfriend - that's him in public, we all change when we have our "public face" on. We aren't there all day, and we don't see the intimate, private life they lead. They could well be a ****, but that doesn't make all fools arseholes.

My GF fell for me cause I'm sweet and friendly, so no. Se also likes me cause im a big lovable lug, like bulkhead or a Saint Bernard.

SailorCybertron24 wrote:My GF fell for me cause I'm sweet and friendly, so no. Se also likes me cause im a big lovable lug, like bulkhead or a Saint Bernard.

Exactly. I don't have much success with girls because, on the face of it, I'm a sensitive, caring and kind individual. In reality, I'm selfish, boring and introverted. An hour with me and it becomes very clear.

I'm like a peach. I seem sweet, but there's a hard centre that is discomforting to those not suspecting it.

So by definition, if girls liked jerks, they'd be lining up to go out with me.

Amelie wrote:
Exactly. I don't have much success with girls because, on the face of it, I'm a sensitive, caring and kind individual. In reality, I'm selfish, boring and introverted. An hour with me and it becomes very clear.

I'm like a peach. I seem sweet, but there's a hard centre that is discomforting to those not suspecting it.

So by definition, if girls liked jerks, they'd be lining up to go out with me.

My gf is one of the few girls at my school with some common sense. i compare myself with bulky again, and say I am often picked on, however I don't like fighting. Could i beat them to a pulp? sure. do i want to? no. all the girls like the guys who pick on me. Insults are inafective on me, and my gf always stands up for me. she's so sweet.

Guys love jerk women too. My friend will pass by a chunky but sexy girl without a 2nd thought but will allow himself to be screwed around and treated bad buy some tight hotty