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Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

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Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby Saber Prime » Wed May 07, 2008 1:05 am

For some reason the Universal Greeting from Transformers makes me think of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" manily I think I'd make a great entry for Ford to put in the book.

Here's what Wiki has to say on the Universal Greeting. http://transformers.wikia.com/wiki/Universal_greeting (Edited to sound more like a Hitchhiker's Guide entry.)

Universal greeting

The Universal Greeting is commonly transliterated as Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong.

It is used as a means to express good will toward alien beings when a language barrier is present and a babble fish isn't. However, it does not always work that way. The Allicons on Quintessa initially reacted well to the greeting, but when two hitchhikers ran out of energon goodies, the Allicons began chanting it as they attacked the hitchhikers. However, the Junkions on the Planet of Junk took it rather well even without treats and threw a party, indicating that the Universal Greeting can be roughly translated into "We come in peace", "Take me to your leader", "Care to dance?", or whatever seems appropriate.

Strangely, humans had never heard of it before. Stranger yet, the rest of the galaxy is populated mostly by robots.

Note: Japanese materials Romanized the universal greeting as "Berwip crawna-wi pinibon". Given the sketchy nature of most Japanese-born Romanizations, make of that what you will.

There also exists a universal greeting dance, used to convince even the most implacable enemies of one's sincerity (presumably by convincing them that one is willing to humiliate oneself so thoroughly that one could not possibly harbor ill will). The Fish Test

In recent years hand signals have been added to the greeting. The variants of these for five-digit species were demonstrated kindly by one hitchhiker, who interpreted the Decepticon Lugnut raising his fist to deliver one of his famous punches as an invitation to perform the Universal Greeting, and reciprocated accordingly.

Stage 1: Raise the left hand, palm outward to the person being addressed. Keep the thumb tucked to the side of the palm, pointing upward. Clench the index and pinky fingers as if making a fist and extend the middle and ring fingers vertically. The gesture should be made at the same time as speaking the "graaaaagnah" part of the verbal Universal Greeting.

Stage 2: Extend the index, ring and pinky fingers. Curl the middle finger and thumb towards the palm of the hand so that they touch at right-angles, with the side of the thumb's tip pressed against the nail of the middle finger. This should be done in time with the verbalization "wheep".

Stage 3: Clench the index, middle and ring fingers. Extend the thumb and pinky fingers so that the gesture resembles a horizontally-flipped 'L'. Shake the hand sideways twice, in time to the syllables of "ni ni"

Stage 4: As the final "bong" is spoken, open your hand out so that all digits are extended and slightly splayed, as if to make a hand-print in clay. Pause momentarily and then press the thus-opened hand against that of the person you are addressing, who themselves should have a likewise open palm.

On NO ACCOUNT should the final part of the hand signals be performed if you are addressing the Decepticon Lugnut when his fist has transformed into a pressure-sensitive weapons trigger. Actually, it's probably best if you don't perform the Universal Greeting in any way before Lugnut, as any salutation short of "All hail Megatron" would be likely to incur his wrath.

As you can see from this version to what is actully on the Wiki page, I didn't change much to make it a H2G2 Entry.
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Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby ***Galvatron*** » Wed May 07, 2008 8:09 am

That's just waaaay too much to remember so I'm just going to default to my Star Wars rule # 1 of "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster" rule and use that on any aliens that I come across. :P
***Galvatron*** wrote:Fox Mulder ? ummm, your meds must be lapsing! :P

:mrgreen:

moldavite wrote:Nope, I'm not on any medication. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I have a margarita about once every four months. I'm as sober as they come. I'm NOT joking! What I tell you is the truth. Mulder and Scully will be in TF2! Just wait and you'll see....
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Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby Saber Prime » Wed May 07, 2008 7:35 pm

***Galvatron*** wrote:That's just waaaay too much to remember so I'm just going to default to my Star Wars rule # 1 of "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster" rule and use that on any aliens that I come across. :P


Who needs a blaster when you have a towel?

Besides what if you have a GOOD blaster blaster and they have a BETTER blaster?
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Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby ***Galvatron*** » Wed May 07, 2008 9:36 pm

Saber Prime wrote:
***Galvatron*** wrote:That's just waaaay too much to remember so I'm just going to default to my Star Wars rule # 1 of "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster" rule and use that on any aliens that I come across. :P


Who needs a blaster when you have a towel?

Besides what if you have a GOOD blaster blaster and they have a BETTER blaster?


*points to cannon attached to right arm* ahh hem!
:P
***Galvatron*** wrote:Fox Mulder ? ummm, your meds must be lapsing! :P

:mrgreen:

moldavite wrote:Nope, I'm not on any medication. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I have a margarita about once every four months. I'm as sober as they come. I'm NOT joking! What I tell you is the truth. Mulder and Scully will be in TF2! Just wait and you'll see....
***Galvatron***
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Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby Saber Prime » Thu May 08, 2008 4:19 am

***Galvatron*** wrote:
Saber Prime wrote:
***Galvatron*** wrote:That's just waaaay too much to remember so I'm just going to default to my Star Wars rule # 1 of "Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster" rule and use that on any aliens that I come across. :P


Who needs a blaster when you have a towel?

Besides what if you have a GOOD blaster blaster and they have a BETTER blaster?


*points to cannon attached to right arm* ahh hem!
:P


*Points to Jerico Missle from Stark Industries*
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Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby Sledge » Thu May 08, 2008 4:39 am

"He pulls a blaster, you pull a fusion cannon. He puts one of yours in the infirmary, you put one of his in stasis lock. THAT'S the Polyhex way, and that's how you get Megatron." ~ Optimus Malone, The Cybertronic Untouchables.
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For anyone who hasn't seen Spotlight: Sledge (and why not?!), my gritty and dark fanfiction piece "Holiday" is posted here.
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Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby ***Galvatron*** » Thu May 08, 2008 8:01 am

Besides what if you have a GOOD blaster blaster and they have a BETTER blaster?[/quote]

*points to cannon attached to right arm* ahh hem!
:P[/quote]

*Points to Jerico Missle from Stark Industries*[/quote]

I've not seen Ironman yet as I've been really sick with a kidney stone. (:|
***Galvatron*** wrote:Fox Mulder ? ummm, your meds must be lapsing! :P

:mrgreen:

moldavite wrote:Nope, I'm not on any medication. I don't smoke. I don't do drugs. I have a margarita about once every four months. I'm as sober as they come. I'm NOT joking! What I tell you is the truth. Mulder and Scully will be in TF2! Just wait and you'll see....
***Galvatron***
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Posts: 768
News Credits: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 05, 2003 4:04 pm
Location: Insane Asylum

Re: Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy Entry "Universal Greeting"

Postby Saber Prime » Thu May 08, 2008 1:56 pm

***Galvatron*** wrote:
Saber Prime wrote:Besides what if you have a GOOD blaster blaster and they have a BETTER blaster?


***Galvatron*** wrote:*points to cannon attached to right arm* ahh hem!
:P


Saber Prime wrote:*Points to Jerico Missle from Stark Industries*


***Galvatron*** wrote:I've not seen Ironman yet as I've been really sick with a kidney stone. (:|


*Trys to fix quote tags*

Hope you get better soon, how else are you supose to get that joke if you don't go see the movie.

Seriously though, get well soon.

I guess I could tell you what the Jerico Missle is without giveing any of the plot away. Basically it's one jiant missle that splits apart into several tiny missles and scatter over a wide range. The missle is designed to be a weapon that "you only have to fire once" there's absolutly 0% chance this thing will miss it's target.
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