The Energon Pub

by **NiteStar** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:39 pm

Scorpio

by **Grahf** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:41 pm

Capricorn.

by **The Happy Locust** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:51 pm

Aquarius.

News Credits: 226 · by **Burn** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 10:57 pm

Sagitarrius.

And born the chinese year of the dragon under the fire element.

Go on .. have a go, i'll happily breathe flaming arrows on you.

News Credits: 1 · by **Jeysie** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:06 pm

Technically I'm a Pisces, but I think I more have the personality of a Virgo.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Sun Feb 03, 2008 11:27 pm

Middle Finger. Wait, what are we talking about?

Oh, cancer.

by **schizophrenica** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 3:23 am

Aries.. Rabbit under the chinese sign.

News Credits: 7 · by **Omega Charge** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:07 am

Don't do horoscopes, but...Aquarius

News Credits: 1 · by **Scatterlung** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:10 am

Gemini

by **Rijie** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:33 am

Sagitarrius, born in the year of the Tiger under the Chinese Horoscope.

News Credits: 2 · by **Tekka** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:43 am

Lol, no.

Scorpiooooooooooooo!

News Credits: 1 · by **Cheetron** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:21 am

Taurus.

I've got nothing.

by **Tangent** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:27 am

Tekka just managed to make fun of a 12th of the population...

Capricorn. Earth dragon in the Chinese version.

News Credits: 5 · by **God Magnus** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 9:40 am

Leo

News Credits: 38 · by **TheMuffin** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 11:18 am

Libra.

I always love reading my horoscope and loling everywhere. It's always along the lines of "you'll experience something that will make you angry".... NO **** I work in engineering and consulting you dumb paper!

News Credits: 1 · by ***Galvatron*** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 2:41 pm

Pisces

Dark brooding pisces lol

Like Me, Grimlock! on Facebook · by **Me, Grimlock!** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:21 pm

Taurus.

Burn wrote:And born the chinese year of the dragon

So was I. Dragon's the best. Steps on all the other years and breathes fire on anything that slips between its toes. Eats teh year of the rat for dinner and uses the bones of the year of the snake as floss. That trumps everything else. Suckas.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:34 pm

Me, Grimlock! wrote:uses the bones of the year of the snake as floss.

Bull! I call Shenanigans on you!

I mean, c'mon. A single snake managed to trick the two most virtuous people in the universe to go directly against God's Will.

That's right. Biblically, my Year damned every last one of you!

I guess that might be where my Douchebaggery came from.

by **Jazz Reborn** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 4:37 pm

Me, Grimlock! wrote:Taurus.

Burn wrote:And born the chinese year of the dragon

So was I. Dragon's the best. Steps on all the other years and breathes fire on anything that slips between its toes. Eats teh year of the rat for dinner and uses the bones of the year of the snake as floss. That trumps everything else. Suckas.

sagittarius and the year of the dog. we are immortal! thats the best!

News Credits: 226 · by **Burn** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 5:54 pm

Me, Grimlock! wrote:Taurus.

Burn wrote:And born the chinese year of the dragon

So was I. Dragon's the best. Steps on all the other years and breathes fire on anything that slips between its toes. Eats teh year of the rat for dinner and uses the bones of the year of the snake as floss. That trumps everything else. Suckas.

All the propaganda aside, the Dragon is the best because the Jade Emperor (aka Buddha) said so.

by **Carnosaur** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:24 pm

I"m an aries

Like Me, Grimlock! on Facebook · by **Me, Grimlock!** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:27 pm

Shadowman wrote:
Me, Grimlock! wrote:uses the bones of the year of the snake as floss.

Bull! I call Shenanigans on you!

I mean, c'mon. A single snake managed to trick the two most virtuous people in the universe to go directly against God's Will.

That's right. Biblically, my Year damned every last one of you!

I guess that might be where my Douchebaggery came from.

Crap, I didn't even think of that. Crap! Plus, I said "teh" and didn't notice. There goes my credibility lolz!!1!1

News Credits: 7 · by **Omega Charge** » Mon Feb 04, 2008 6:29 pm

My color is pink, and my Chinese zodiac is the Water Rooster.

by **Dragonoth** » Tue Feb 05, 2008 2:48 am

The newspaper horoscopes are so generalized, they could apply to half the population. Here's something more accurate:

Aquarius: There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus. Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing whack-a-mole seventeen hours a day.

Pisces: Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the ebola virus. You are the true lord of the dance, no matter what those idiots at work say.

Aries: The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon. Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep.

Taurus: You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it? The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep.

Gemini: Your birtyday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence. Your love life will run into trouble when your fiancé hurls a javelin through your chest.

Cancer: The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud. Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test.

Leo: Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no! Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quick.

Virgo: All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you! Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick.

Libra: A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented than you. Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week.

Scorpio: Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window. Work a little bit harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak.

Sagittarius: All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them). Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den.

Capricorn: The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying. If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again.

That's your horoscope for today, yay yay yay yay yay! That's your horoscope for today!

Song by Weird Al Yankovic. If you believe this horoscope, then some of those things will happen to you!

Anyway, I'm a Libra, and I was born in the year of the Monkey. I don't climb trees anymore, though.