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News Credits: 9 · by **Hip-Hoptimus Rime** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 9:34 am

As men, we’ve all said stupid things to women without meaning to- it’s part of the deal. Examples below, post yours. Ladies, you can chime in too.

-A friend of mine in college went to pick up this girl he knew from church on their first date together. She opens the door and she’s all dressed up. He looks at her and says, “Wow, you look so different, you look beautiful.” *crickets*

-In college, I had this crush on a girl I knew. We went out a few times, nothing romantic or physical. She graduated and we lost touch for about a year, and one day I called her up to say hi. We chatted a bit and she told me she had to go because her fiancé was picking her up. My brain record-scratched- fiancé? So in a flash of savvy composure I said, “Fiancé’? You’re getting married? Are you sure?” *crickets*

-This gem is from about a month ago. My wife told me she just found a new wrinkle at the corner of her mouth. I looked at it and, trying to make her feel better, said, “Oh, that’s not new.” *crickets*

And in the interest of equality, several years ago I was introduced to a female friend of a friend. I told her my name, Gus, and she asked me if I was Greek. I said no, and she said, "Are you sure?" :APPLAUSE:

News Credits: 125 · by **Counterpunch** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 10:39 am

"Oh, so she's your younger sister?..What's her name?"

No regrets.

Actually, my dating life prior to dating my eventual wife was essentially what you see in the movie Swingers (the Vince Vaughn movie, not the one about partner swapping). Drinks, dancing, and boldness were the coins of the realm and we flat out did not give a damn.

Shout outs to: Jaime, Katherine, Alexis, Angel, Katie, Ally, Jessica, Alexis again, that girl I can't remember in the white dress, Katie again, Liz, Kate, angry asian girl, Courtny you bitch..., Jessica again, Kim...kinda, Nona & Catherine (different one).

You all LOSE, you get NOTHING. Good DAY Sir (Madam)!

Actually, I've got nothing against any of them.

Edit: how could I forget Teresa and Mary? Oh...I know how.

by **Aluus** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 11:55 am

I think the dumbest thing a guy can say to a woman these days is "I do."

News Credits: 125 · by **Counterpunch** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 12:10 pm

Aluus wrote:I think the dumbest thing a guy can say to a woman these days is "I do."

My wife is amazing, talented, and smart (beautiful too). We're better together than we are apart.

Getting married was one of the best choices I've ever made.

News Credits: 226 · by **Burn** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 1:13 pm

Probably the dumbest thing i've said to a woman is teling them "I love you".

And the dumbest thing they've ever said to me is basically anything my ex said. **** like "I love you" and "I've been wishing for this for months" and then the stuff she said where she decided to analyse me and my life and couldn't find a damn good thing about it.

by **shortwave** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 2:19 pm

a guy once said to me " oh your a lesbian you know i can cure that"
i think that made me more gay
one of my exes asked me ware steven hawkings was from
i told her he was born in oxford this was her reply
" oh its just he sounds amarican" we split up a few months later
an american tourist once saw me doing my job ( i sweep streets yes a high glamoures job i know( and alsked me rather cheekely what qualifacations i had to have to get " a sweel job like that " i told him i had a qualifacation in knuclear phisics and astro phisics but this payed better

by **Evil_the_Nub** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 4:39 pm

A couple of weeks ago I was working the register and some girl came in and bought a pregnancy test. She kept looking at me for some reason, maybe she thought I was cute or something. When I handed her the receipt she said "it's not for me, I'm on the pill" I didn't say anything or give her a weird look or anything, she just blurted it out.

by **Dagon** » Fri Oct 15, 2010 8:07 pm

When my girlfriend and I started dating, I had been on the shelf for a real long time. So, being a bad assed 29 year old man, I'd get nervous around her. So, as a result, my hands would get sweaty.
As you may imagine this caused additional concerns when it came time to hold hands. One day, when my hands were particularly sweaty, I told her to not be upset by my sweaty palms, becuase they were a result of my having a glandular problem.

Yes, that was in fact what I thought was a better, more acceptable reason than "I'm sorry, I've been single a long time, and I like you a lot, so I'm nervous." "I'm sorry, I have a glandular problem."

Amazingly, she's still my girlfriend. I'm not sure how I pulled that off. Oh, and she knows I don't have a glandular problem.

by **Pyrostrata** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 12:02 am

Aluus wrote:I think the dumbest thing a guy can say to a woman these days is "I do."

This was the dumbest thing I ever said to my ex-husband.

The best was "Sign these divorce papers before those police sitting outside come in to take you away, idiot!"

by **Prime Riblet** » Sat Oct 16, 2010 2:13 am

I told this girl I worked with "I sure am glad I don't think you're attractive, because that might make for an awkward situation". That was easily the dumbest thing I ever said to a woman. Lesson learned.

by **Just Negare** » Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:07 am

My sister and her friend set me up with some guy, I went for a coffee with him not expecting too much, and putting aside the fact he thougth the kids in RiD were Daniel Witwicky's grandchildren, he told me this:

"I mean, come on, every guy is allowed one rape!"

Seriously.

Then to clarify:

"Oh, I mean, I haven't actually raped a woman, I just kind of got accused of raping a drunk woman I took home and had sex with, while she was asleep".

-_-'

by **Stormer** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 7:44 pm

At work one day, a customer came up to me and said, "Wow, you have beautiful eyes."
"Well, thank you," I replied.
"Are you married?"
"Yes I am."
"Darn. Well, do you think you could take me to one of your family reunions?"
Wha.....?

I got into the car of another customer to take him on his drive test, and before I could introduce myself, he turned to me and said, "So, you wanna get married?"
I know the expression on my face wasn't what he expected, because then he said,"I'm sorry. I was just trying to keep you from feeling awkward."
Good job, buddy!

I asked a guy once if he's like his driving permit written test in Spanish. He said," Why the hell would I want it in Spanish? I'm from India!"

by **MGrotusque** » Tue Oct 19, 2010 11:27 pm

Sometimes it's the things you don't say.
i've been wanting a liitle space in my current relationship.
With a bad hangover on sunday i told the GF to just leave me alone today cause my truck blew up(power steering pump),bike got stolen the night before and the bike i rode to look for stolen bike got a flat in the middle of junkyville an hour walk from home. BAD DAY.
She wouldn't let up though and kept calling me.
So i shut my phone off for the last two days so NOBODY could bug me. Plus i could contemplate dumping the GF in relative peace while waying the pros and cons.
Then literally no more than an hour ago said GF is BEATING at my door howling and in tears wondering what's been going on. Hysterics ensue and a conversation i still wasn't prepared for happened.
The moral of the story really is don't ignore the old lady and cut off all communications....she'll find you!

by **Sky-Quake** » Wed Oct 20, 2010 9:42 am

went up to a blonde women with blue eyes if she was had aryan in her and honest to god she said no but I want some in me and then she added as long as it's not you :BOOM:

by **Dagon** » Fri Oct 29, 2010 4:01 pm

Just Negare wrote:My sister and her friend set me up with some guy, I went for a coffee with him not expecting too much, and putting aside the fact he thougth the kids in RiD were Daniel Witwicky's grandchildren, he told me this:

"I mean, come on, every guy is allowed one rape!"

Seriously.

Then to clarify:

"Oh, I mean, I haven't actually raped a woman, I just kind of got accused of raping a drunk woman I took home and had sex with, while she was asleep".

-_-'

Sadly, I knew a guy who thought the same thing, and once actually carried that brilliant plan once. I don't know how a functional human being can actually think that way.

by **JeffX** » Mon Nov 01, 2010 3:36 pm

"You're from Minnesota? I'm sorry."

It was a joke that she didn't think was very funny.

by **Stormer** » Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:46 pm

JeffX wrote:"You're from Minnesota? I'm sorry."

It was a joke that she didn't think was very funny.

I've made similar jokes to people from Texas. Where's their sense of humor?

by **JeffX** » Tue Nov 02, 2010 9:18 am

Stormer wrote:
JeffX wrote:"You're from Minnesota? I'm sorry."

It was a joke that she didn't think was very funny.

I've made similar jokes to people from Texas. Where's their sense of humor?

I know, right?

News Credits: 4 · by **G1Sizzle** » Wed Nov 10, 2010 6:46 am

monstergrotusque wrote:Sometimes it's the things you don't say.
i've been wanting a liitle space in my current relationship.
With a bad hangover on sunday i told the GF to just leave me alone today cause my truck blew up(power steering pump),bike got stolen the night before and the bike i rode to look for stolen bike got a flat in the middle of junkyville an hour walk from home. BAD DAY.
She wouldn't let up though and kept calling me.
So i shut my phone off for the last two days so NOBODY could bug me. Plus i could contemplate dumping the GF in relative peace while waying the pros and cons.
Then literally no more than an hour ago said GF is BEATING at my door howling and in tears wondering what's been going on. Hysterics ensue and a conversation i still wasn't prepared for happened.
The moral of the story really is don't ignore the old lady and cut off all communications....she'll find you!

No, my friend, the moral of that story is DUMP THAT CHICK!

I'm trying to remember what kind of dumb **** I said to girls. There must have been tons of it, because I had way too many relationships before I finally found my wife. The one that sticks out in my mind right now is: "I'll show you my Transformers collection. Don't freak out, ok?"

by **Just Negare** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 12:15 am

This was said to me just yesterday, I was wearing a TF shirt:

"I don't even know why Megalon keeps Bumblebee around, he's so small, you'd think he'd be a sh1tty Decepticon".

News Credits: 4 · by **G1Sizzle** » Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:16 pm

I have called girls by the wrong name before. That usually kills a mood.

by **Praxus Prime** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:35 pm

Haha, one time I was talking to my friend Rachel, when I suddenly remembered compute146's Optimus Prime statue (or whatever you wanna call it). So out of nowhere I said- "Hey, wanna see a seven foot Prime?", and she got emberassed and yelled at me, obviously thinking I meant something else. #-o

What made it even worse was the fact that I was crazy about her, but at least I was able to explain myself and straighten everything out. :lol:

by **JetOptimus23** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 4:47 pm

Stormer wrote:I've made similar jokes to people from Texas. Where's their sense of humor?

We have a sense of humor. But it dissapears when you mess with Texas. Also, our economy is in better shape than most of the rest of the country.

My friend Rachel was talking about a zit she thought she had, and UNFORTUNATLEY i was listening to the TWINCAST. As she was talking about it to some of her other friends, when i was looking her way. I reacted to some news by blurting out "THAT'S HUGE!"

Luckily i explained to her in time. :lol:

News Credits: 33 · by **Amelie** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:31 pm

JetOptimus23 wrote:Also, our economy is in better shape than most of the rest of the country.

Give it 20 years when the oil dries up. :-$

I said "I'd rather be friends" or "p!ss off" (usually the latter, there were many vile girls at school) so many times at school girls were convinced I was gay. Great for killing your chances in your local area. :lol:

*edit* I just spelt "dries" as "drys". Jesus. :BANG_HEAD:

by **Stormer** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:34 pm

JetOptimus23 wrote:
Stormer wrote:I've made similar jokes to people from Texas. Where's their sense of humor?

We have a sense of humor. But it dissapears when you mess with Texas. Also, our economy is in better shape than most of the rest of the country.

My friend Rachel was talking about a zit she thought she had, and UNFORTUNATLEY i was listening to the TWINCAST. As she was talking about it to some of her other friends, when i was looking her way. I reacted to some news by blurting out "THAT'S HUGE!"

Luckily i explained to her in time.

Awwww, I don't tease unless there's love behind it!

You know, lots of Texans are moving to Colorado these days...I'm thinking our economy must not be so bad either (?).