The Energon Pub

[The Happy Locust]

Hey! Someone stole my TV!

No I didn't! You're crazy! Now be quite, this crappy TV I stole from you has terrible audio.

I concour and this priceless locust family heirloom isn't worth a dime. Probably because I dropped it in the middle of the highway.

*Inexplicably, a pool table screeches to a halt on the highway.*

There's that heirloom. Granny Locust would be heartbroken to know I lost her foot... again.

*an unseen engine revs and the pool table takes off, leaving a pair of burning tire tracks*

[Psycho Warrior]

*Inexplicably, a pool table screeches to a halt on the highway.*

There's that heirloom. Granny Locust would be heartbroken to know I lost her foot... again.

*an unseen engine revs and the pool table takes off, leaving a pair of burning tire tracks*

... excuse me everyone I have to commit grand theft pool table. Cousin of grand theft coffee table.

[Shadowman]

*Inexplicably, a pool table screeches to a halt on the highway.*

There's that heirloom. Granny Locust would be heartbroken to know I lost her foot... again.

*an unseen engine revs and the pool table takes off, leaving a pair of burning tire tracks*

... excuse me everyone I have to commit grand theft pool table. Cousin of grand theft coffee table.

Older brother of Grand Theft Foosball table, uncle of Grand theft ping-pong table, second cousin of Grand theft Night stand...You get the idea.

[Exdominus]

**** I could have used granny locusts foot for my experiment grrrrrrr stupid locust! That is it time to commit grand kidnap locust!!!!

[Shadowman]

**** I coul;dm have used granny locusts foot for my experiment grrrrrrr stupid locust! That is it time to commit grand kid\nap locust!!!!

Grand kidnap? Man, you don't know your criminology terms, do you? Grand Kidnap is not the name of any kind of crime.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get these kidnapped people to the Soylent Green manufacturers.

[Psycho Warrior]

**** I coul;dm have used granny locusts foot for my experiment grrrrrrr stupid locust! That is it time to commit grand kid\nap locust!!!!

Grand kidnap? Man, you don't know your criminology terms, do you? Grand Kidnap is not the name of any kind of crime.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get these kidnapped people to the Soylent Green manufacturers.

I love Soylent cola. It's just that the taste varies from person to person.

[The Happy Locust]

**** I coul;dm have used granny locusts foot for my experiment grrrrrrr stupid locust! That is it time to commit grand kid\nap locust!!!!

Grand kidnap? Man, you don't know your criminology terms, do you? Grand Kidnap is not the name of any kind of crime.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get these kidnapped people to the Soylent Green manufacturers.

I love Soylent cola. It's just that the taste varies from person to person.

Grand theft Locust has been tried before. I held myself hostage and demanded a heavy ransom. Unfortunately, I don't negotiate with criminals and refused to negotiate for my release, leaving me hostage to myself. After a series of inexplicable events, I began to identify with myself and forgave myself for kidnapping me. In the end, I let myself go while I dropped all charges against myself. It was so sad...

[Psycho Warrior]

Grand theft Locust has been tried before. I held myself hostage and demanded a heavy ransom. Unfortunately, I don't negotiate with criminals and refused to negotiate for my release, leaving me hostage to myself. After a series of inexplicable events, I began to identify with myself and forgave myself for kidnapping me. In the end, I let myself go while I dropped all charges against myself. It was so sad...

Sad indeed.

[Halo]

Grand theft Locust has been tried before. I held myself hostage and demanded a heavy ransom. Unfortunately, I don't negotiate with criminals and refused to negotiate for my release, leaving me hostage to myself. After a series of inexplicable events, I began to identify with myself and forgave myself for kidnapping me. In the end, I let myself go while I dropped all charges against myself. It was so sad...

Sad indeed.

LOLarious is more like it.

[Wheelimus Prime]

*steals locust's closet, adds a HEMI to it and drives around shooting the tables lying around*


aw crap noob in they're ferrari wants to race me at a stoplight


*revs closet and drives off winning race*

[Psycho Warrior]

Dude, you opponent was a randy in a horse drawn buggy with a Ferrari drawn on the side. There is no real win there.

[Exdominus]

Crap I for got I had locust dna! I had oit at the begining of the lab it is some where in the dna storage tanks *goes off to hunt for the sample*

[Psycho Warrior]

Crap I for got I had locust dna! I had oit at the begining of the lab it is some where in the dna storage tanks *goes off to hunt for the sample*

too late, by now the sample has grown legs and only legs and now owns a condo in Florida.

[Halo]

Crap I for got I had locust dna! I had oit at the begining of the lab it is some where in the dna storage tanks *goes off to hunt for the sample*

too late, by now the sample has grown legs and only legs and now owns a condo in Florida.

Those legs better look good then.

[The Happy Locust]

Crap I for got I had locust dna! I had oit at the begining of the lab it is some where in the dna storage tanks *goes off to hunt for the sample*

too late, by now the sample has grown legs and only legs and now owns a condo in Florida.

Those legs better look good then.

With the amount of working out I've been doing, my legs are perfect. Look.

*Locust pulls up his pants leg to reveal surprisingly feminine leg and a high heel shoe*

[Halo]

too late, by now the sample has grown legs and only legs and now owns a condo in Florida.

Those legs better look good then.

With the amount of working out I've been doing, my legs are perfect. Look.

*Locust pulls up his pants leg to reveal surprisingly feminine leg and a high heel shoe*

Sexy.

[Psycho Warrior]

With the amount of working out I've been doing, my legs are perfect. Look.

*Locust pulls up his pants leg to reveal surprisingly feminine leg and a high heel shoe*

Sexy.

It's amazing what you can do with 5 minutes of orientation in knitting, a needle, and a freshly discovered corpse in your back yard.

[Shadowman]

It's amazing what you can do with 5 minutes of orientation in knitting, a needle, and a freshly discovered corpse in your back yard.

Ah! That's where I left that...!

...I mean...dead body? We should definitely not call the police or coroner, and perhaps dump the body in a lake where no one will find it...

[Wheelimus Prime]

sorry ever since i got my license to kill that lake has fliled up with dead bodies

[Psycho Warrior]

sorry ever since i got my license to kill that lake has fliled up with dead bodies

You too? man they're just giving the license out at the front desk nowadays... and before you ask my woodchiper stopped working when I threw that old man in there. Damn cast iron hip.

[Shadowman]

sorry ever since i got my license to kill that lake has fliled up with dead bodies

You too? man they're just giving the license out at the front desk nowadays... and before you ask my woodchiper stopped working when I threw that old man in there. Damn cast iron hip.

...If you have a license to kill, why would you need to hide the bodies of people you're legally allowed to kill? I mean, you could string them up on your front lawn like fish and no one could stop you. Not even Batman.

[Psycho Warrior]

sorry ever since i got my license to kill that lake has fliled up with dead bodies

You too? man they're just giving the license out at the front desk nowadays... and before you ask my woodchiper stopped working when I threw that old man in there. Damn cast iron hip.

...If you have a license to kill, why would you need to hide the bodies of people you're legally allowed to kill? I mean, you could string them up on your front lawn like fish and no one could stop you. Not even Batman.

Who said they were mine? I have clients who hire me to get rid of... things. for money. ... Santa never gave me a new woodchipper. But where santa failed satan delivered.

[The Happy Locust]

...If you have a license to kill, why would you need to hide the bodies of people you're legally allowed to kill? I mean, you could string them up on your front lawn like fish and no one could stop you. Not even Batman.

Who said they were mine? I have clients who hire me to get rid of... things. for money. ... Santa never gave me a new woodchipper. But where santa failed satan delivered.

*Locust waits in his office, very bored and tapping his fingers loudly on his desk*

sigh...

*Locust opens cell phone but sees no new messages*

sigh...

*bored, Locust pulls a bowling pin, a globe, and a live chicken from his desk and begins juggling.*

What's taking that specialist so long? I ordered the head of the Chihuahua union taken out days ago.*

[Psycho Warrior]

*Locust waits in his office, very bored and tapping his fingers loudly on his desk*

sigh...

*Locust opens cell phone but sees no new messages*

sigh...

*bored, Locust pulls a bowling pin, a globe, and a live chicken from his desk and begins juggling.*

What's taking that specialist so long? I ordered the head of the Chihuahua union taken out days ago.*

Taken out? Oh, one second. *a punt is heard as a Chihuahua is seen flying over the fence of the zoo*

Now as long as he landed in a predatory cage we should be good.

[The Happy Locust]

*Locust waits in his office, very bored and tapping his fingers loudly on his desk*

sigh...

*Locust opens cell phone but sees no new messages*

sigh...

*bored, Locust pulls a bowling pin, a globe, and a live chicken from his desk and begins juggling.*

What's taking that specialist so long? I ordered the head of the Chihuahua union taken out days ago.*

Taken out? Oh, one second. *a punt is heard as a Chihuahua is seen flying over the fence of the zoo*

Now as long as he landed in a predatory cage we should be good.

*Locust is still at his desk, waiting patiently*

sigh...

*a screaming chihuahua crashes through Locust's office window, landing on his desk as a bloody heap.*

Locust: FRED! Fred! What happened?

Chihuahua: I no know, sir. I get promoted to head of union this morning, then some psycho punts me over fence.

Locust: Wait? Promoted? What happened to the last guy? The one I wanted taken out?

Chihuahua: He stopped at chinese restaurant for directions. We never see him again.