Seibertron.com Energon Pub Forums

So, this is a story I posted on TFW2005 about a week ago, so I thought I would post it here for more people to see. Enjoy my constant making things up in order to make my story work! Please don't hurt me...

Windblade awoke in what appeared to be a field on an organic planet. She had never seen an organic planet before, so she got up and decided to explore a bit. Windblade is one of the apprentices of Vector Prime, one of the original 13 Primes. Vector Prime had sent her here to find some artifact called the enigma of combination. A device which could decide the entire fate of a universe. You see, Vector Prime is the overseer of time and space. He is all knowing, but he sometimes can be forgetful in his old age.

Windblade wondered where her fellow apprentice, Heinrad was. He is a nice fellow, but his tanooki alternate mode is an odd choice. She then felt the ground rumble, she assumed it was an earthquake at first, but she then began to see a massive figure coming her way. She readied her sword and got into a battle stance.

"Hey hey hey! No need to get all aggressive!" A voice called, seeming to come from the large figure. A smaller bot, even smaller than her, came down off of the mysterious giant's shoulder.

"Who are you!?" Windblade asked. Wanting to know just what's going on.

"Okay, okay! Put down the weapon and I'll introduce us, right Metro? Said the short bot. The giant nodded in response. Windblade put down her weapon. "Okay, my name's Scamper, this giant here's my buddy, Metroplex. He's a Titan. Say hello, Metro!" The giant waved it's hand. "Yeah, he's not much of a talker. Heck, I don't even think he's capable of speech, but he's pretty strong! We've been traveling together for years. What brings you to this giant rock of nothing but greenery and animals?"

"I was sent here to find something for someone." Windblade answered coldly.

"For whom, I may ask?"

"I'm not allowed to disclose such information." Windblade said coldly.

"A secret, eehh. Well, I suppose we could help you find what your looking for." Scamper offered.

"I'm afraid I don't want your help." Windblade answered.

"Come on!" Scamper cried. "You'll need my master marksman skills and Metro's strength!"

"Alright, I suppose you can come." Windblade said, defeated.

"Alright, Metro! No more wandering for us!" Scamper said excitedly. Metroplex threw his arms up in the air in excitement. Scamper then looked up to the sky. "It's getting dark, we should get going. Come on!" Scamper instructed.

The adventures of Windblade, Scamper, and Metroplex begin now! Come back next time as their adventures continue!

Well, it's a start. Of nothing, unfortunately. You used a secret mission plot to hook us into ... nothing.

You need to consider the situation. Metroplex shows up and you write as if he was simply a normal big guy. He's much more than that: he's titanic. He weighs millions of tonnes. Whenever he moves, even just a little, the ground shakes. When he takes a step, the booming sound can be heard for miles around. He's so heavy that he sinks into the earth many metres. If there are any caves or tunnels under him, they would collapse. He probably needs anti-gravity assistance to prevent him from collapsing under his own weight. None of this is described in your story.