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"Yeah, I'm evil. Get over it!"
Level 7 Decepticon
Shortly after sleeping off energon hangovers from Ghetto Sleds retirement party, Nosferatu, MulePlanker, MooseMuncher and Mahockamamayne held a meeting. The purpose at hand...to find a suitable replacement.
"I don't really give a damn." MulePlanker stated laconically.
"Look, Sled earned it. But now we gotta move on. We need another proper lunatic." Mahockamamayne growled.
"Why don't we rebuild HindenTanic? Or Whackatron? Maybe a Ghetto Sled look alike?" MooseMuncher pondered out loud.
Mahockamamayne reached across the table and smacked him in the back of the head. MooseMuncher growled as MulePlanker laughed.
"You're not gonna take that (beep) are ya? Thats like DiNozzo slapping Gibbs."
"I vill slap all of jou if jou don't stop zis nonsense. Ve are here for a reason, and ve vill only leave zis room when we come to a solution...or I kill jou all."
"Sorry boss." The three stated in stereo.
"Very vell then. Listen, ve cannot rebuild Vhackatron vithout destroying Foghorn, and he is too valuable. Furthemore, ve cannot do anything vith HindenTanics parts either. Most have been incinerated or lost at zea. There are only a few parts left in storage. Exodus can do nothing vith them as of yet."
"Doesn't surprise me." MooseMuncher muttered.
"From what I know, there are no free agents out there right now. Granted, we could probably invade another faction and...maybe reprogram someone. Exodus could handle that. Couldn't he?" MulePlanker pondered.
"No." Mahockamamayne stated emphatically. "We can't go stirring up animosities with other 'Cons. The Autobots are too strong and too united right now. We need to keep all the Decepticon factions as united as we can. Raiding one would be a terrible mistake."
"Visely spoken. But do jou suggest ve take an autobot?"
MulePlanker spoke first.
"We could take a 'Bot...Exodus could handle rebuilding, but which one? They're mostly wimps. And the ones who aren't...well, we'd waste too many resources. Can we afford it?"
"Mirage is always confused on where he stands, and his spying abilities would be helpful." MooseMuncher stated.
"I say Gears. Probably wouldn't take much reprogramming at all. Plus...he's a jerk." Mahockamamayne rebutted.
"I'm going with Ramhorn." MulePlanker stated.
"Yeah, that makes sense. All we need is another rhino slamming into the walls when the TV isn't working."
"Up yours, Kirby. Nobody asked you." MulePlanker retorted, as Nosferatu watched with a scowl.
"Don't push me. Simeon! I'll cut you're horn off." MooseMuncher threatened.
"Shut up! Both of you." Mahockamamayne snarled, but it was too late. He tried to step between the two but was knocked to the floor in the process and kicked repeatedly by the other two.
Nosferatu grinned and shook his head as the three brawled on the floor.
"I vill do zis myzelf." He mumbled as he transformed into a bat and exited the room through the ventilation system.
Several earth hours passed before order was restored, but Nosferatu was nowhere to be found.
Days passed before the wolf returned, carrying a small, blue/gray autobot in his jaws. Upon noticing this strange capture MulePlanker commented.
"Om, Topspin? Seriously?"
"Vhy yez." Nosferatu stated after casually flinging the leaking carcass to the side.
"Topspin is crazy, and vith ze proper programming..."
'You're the boss, boss. At least it wasn't that (beep)(beep) little (beep) Bumblebee! I hate that whiny little (beep).
"Nobody likes zat fool. I surveyed them for hours before striking, zey never saw me until it vas too late. I merely deactivated zis one, but zat yellow fool vill be out of action for some time. I had no use for him other zen ze thrill of ze hunt and kill. But Topspin...He has potential!"
"Yeah well, thats great. Anyway, theres a Godzilla retrospective on in ten minutes."
"Now...vhere is Exodus? Ha ha ha haaaaa!
"He's over in, I say he's over in the chamber again son."
"Ah! Good evening Foghorn! Vhere zen is MooseMuncher?
"He's out, I say he's out back in the pond."
"Very good, vould jou please summon both he and Mahockamamayne to ze lab?"
"I'll get, I say I'll a git 'em for ya."
As Foghorn went to get the crab from his resting place, Nosferatu transformerd and carried Topspins carcass to the lab. Mahockamamayne arrived first, as Topspin lay covered on the floor in a heap. MooseMuncher arrived only a minute later.
"What in the wide, wide world of sports is that?" MooseMuncher asked in his usual sarcastic tone.
Nosferatu withdrew the cover to the surprised looks of the others.
"Hmph! I thought Fog was joking again." mahockamamayne grumbled. "How did you get this guy. boss?"
As the wolf told of his time spent stalking, MooseMuncher cracked off the skull-plate and began fidgeting inside Topspins head. It wasn't long before Exodus arrived.
"Ya know, this reminds me of the time..."
"Cram it, grease monkey." MooseMuncher cracked as he reached for a laser scalpel.
"No good punk, I oughta solder your optics closed."
"Yeah yeah, whatever ya broken down old garbage truck."
Homicide and Rump Roast appeared. They listened quietly as the Vampire continued the story.
MooseMuncher continued to eviscerate the contents of Topspins head before Exodus finally intervened.
"What are you trying to do crab? make him as loony as you?"
"No Mr. Goodwrench, I'm trying to make him as senile as you!" MooseMuncher retorted.
"Will one of you just (beep) get on with it?" Mahockamamayne blurted out from across the room.
"Silence you fools!" Nosferatu yelled as he approached Topspins mangled head.
"And zey call me a butcher!
MooseMuncher, I vant you to attach zis device inside ze skull, just under ze regulator."
"What is it?" Exodus asked as a strange look crossed his face.
"It is somezing I have been vorking on...you vill zee."
As Mahockamamayne drew closer, Homicide and Rump Roast quietly slipped out of the room. Exodus occupied himself repairing damages done in the short skirmish with Nosferatu.
"Can't believe I'm fixing an autobot." He grumbled to himself
"Not an autobot anymore!" Mahockamamayne stated forcefully as he tore the red insignia from Topspin's torso.
"Save that, it may come in handy..."
MooseMuncher completed installing the device given to him by Nosferatu.
"Now Exodus, has ze body been repaired adequately?"
"Yeah boss, should be ready to go."
"Excellent! Now, I vant you to take this device as vell, and install it in ze spark chamber."
"Wait boss...that was HindenTanics..."
"Yez, yez it vas. Now, MooseMuncher! Run zese cables from my spark into ze device as zoon as Exodus haz installed it!"
"whats gonna happen, boss?" Mahockamamayne asked.
"Patience my friend. Are ze connections correct?"
"Ready boss." Stated Exodus proudly.
"Excellent. Now vatch."
"what's he gonna do?" Exodus whispered to MooseMuncher.
'He's a vampire, ya (beep). He's got all kinds of eerie powers!"
A bright red light from Nosferatu's optics and spark filled the room as the others stood back, mesmerized. A surge of power shot through the cables and into Topspin's manipulated spark and brain as smoke filled the room and the red light faded.
Exodus cringed as flame emerged from Nosferatu's mouth, he back-peddled until he bumped into MooseMuncher, who, in a state of shock, was easily knocked to the ground.
For the first time, Mahockamamayne looked shocked.
Through the smoke, a light began to flicker in Topspin's optics. Mahockamamayne transformed to his phoenix mode, and began beating his wings heavily in an attempt to push the smoke towards the massive exhaust fans in the ceiling. Exodus, still in shock, was no help.
Mahockamamayne managed to clear enough smoke in time to see Topspin's right arm twitch. MooseMuncher stood up slowly as the flame faded and the room darkened once again.
"Terrible dream...big dog...couldn't get away...bumbleebee...(Beep)
Topspin sat up slowly and looked around.
"Bumblebee is dead." MooseMuncher stated.
"Good. (Beep) him! I hate that guy."
"Who is Optimus Prime?" Exodus asked.
"A stuffy old windbag with a superiority complex. (Beep) Him too."
"And humans?" Mahockamamayne questioned.
"Lives! Lives for the master!"
"And who are jou?" Nosferatu growled.
"Call me Mortis." The former Topspin stated emphatically.
Mortis' recent battles
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