Time for the next chapter of unbridled oddity.
#6: MetroplexWho?Don't be daft. You know who Metroplex is.
He's like a father to me, only more reliable.
Surely, you may be saying, Metroplex is the very spirit of normality. To which I reply yes, and don't call me Daphne. Aside from occasionally wearing the Aerialbots as kneepads Metromaplex is a pretty regular dude.
Of course everyone in the world owns a Metroplex.
Everyone. There are primitive nomads in the wilds of the Serengeti who have Metroplex in their huts. If you leave a space on your shelf long enough, he'll just
appear. But his ubiquity doesn't make him a bad figure, or a weird one. He has lots of fun cool gimmicks, an awesome rolling land-battleship-thing mode and a fancy futuristic city mode. He's pretty damn awesome.
So what's he doing on this list then?More like what's your mum doing on th...no wait, your mum is the weir...well you fight like a cow!
Anyway, Metropecs isn't weird but his companions are...
#7: The friends and family of Metroplex Okay, this entry is a bit of a cheat because these guys can't be bought separately. I'm not really sure what to consider them. Toys? Accessories?
Architecture?
First up is Scamper:
He has never forgiven BP.
Scamper is a pretty awesome dude. He transforms into a battle car with twin cannons on his roof and no fewer than six wheels. He holds his gun sideways-gangsta style. And aside from his Autobrand he's totally black.
How black is he?He's so black he taught movieverse Jazz how to talk. He's so black Track's blackbeam gun actually looks kind of charcoal by comparison. He's so black every time he sleeps the other 'Bots assume he died.
Anyway, he's obviously pure black for cheap economic reasons. But while it would ridiculous on any other figure it looks
amazing on him.
Next is Sixgun:
"When are we finally going to see some action? I'm as bored as a pacifist's pistol."
A Texan's dream, Sixgun is what happens when you get a weapon placement, strap two guns to the sides, let it walk around on a pair of guns, strap a twin gun to its back and then, because it's not heavily-armed enough, give it a gun.
There's no way this could end badly.
Because the heroic Autobots who fight for peace and freedom really need a walking gun who wears guns and carries a gun.
Worst...Actionmaster....ever.
Slammer kind of lost the alt-mode lottery. Sure, he's not a toaster or a frog. But while his tank mode isn't too bad his robot mode is...
"Yep. Yep, that's me. Third tower from the back, yeah."
Yeah, life must be tough without eyes. Or hands. Or a mouth. Or any resale value.
#6: Honourable Weirdness
The real reason you paid $600 for Fort Max.
Anyway, that's about it for this installment. Next time is going to be a pretty popular one when fans think of weird Transformers figures so be sure to tune in!
To be or not to be; that is the question. This list of the 10 Weirdest Toys I hold, is it a record of what will be, or only what may? For if, the future is indeed imutably foretold, then my demise is but moments from the confirmation. For I, I could not live if not the master of my fate. But if the future can be changed, if this list records merely one path of all the myriad ways the cosmos might conform, then its power is infinite, and yet, still limited. For it could be used but once, and in that change be rendered fiction, forevermore. I could destroy it! But no. T'would be a coward's answer. I will know the truth instead. Then, it will be either it, or me, that faces oblivion. Till then!..
I don't know what you're talking about...
