Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I do not own the Transformers. They're Hasbro and Takara's toys, I just play with them.
Warnings: Mild language, illogical events, crack-ish pairings (ArceexProwl; MegatronxStrika); excessive use of the word ‘dude’;
Soooo. Got another one of my harebrained ideas. This actually is inspired by two things: a friend’s Saint Seiya fan fic and the works of Meg Cabot. The former is actually a mix of e-mail and IM dialogue while Cabot relies almost solely on e-mail in a couple of her books. I’m serious, the entire story is told through e-mail. I decided to try my hand. Here you go!
Chapter 1: The Love OctagonTO: prowl @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
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Dude, really, Arcee is like in love with you! I heard about it from Hot Rod. Said he was turned down by her for you.
Jazz
TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: prowl @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
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Jazz, how many times have I told you that you need to pay more attention to your job rather than pestering me?
Prowl
TO: prowl @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
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PROWL! Did you not pay attention to my first e-mail?
ARCEE has a thing for YOU. You are now like the envy of everyone and their grandmother around here!
Jazz
TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: prowl @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
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So is that the reason that Hot Rod keeps glaring at me? Its sort of annoying when I’m just sitting here peacefully doing my paperwork and the scamp is eyeing me as if I was Starscream or something.
Prowl
TO: prowl @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
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The most babeliscious femme in Autobot City has a crush on you and all you can think about is Hot Rod being mad at you? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS TAP THAT!!!!
I don’t know you, I really don’t.
Jazz
____________________________________________________________________
TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: An explanation is required here.
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Jazz, how in Primus’ name did you change my e-mail address? And why? Please change it back. I’m your commander, I think I deserve a little more respect from you.
Optimus
TO: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: An explanation is required here.
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Aw, but Prime, it’s funny! And anyway, you could always do what I do and set up two separate accounts. One for business, one for pleasure. I mean, the two of us seem to talk by e-mail enough to warrant two accounts.
Jazz
TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: An explanation is required here.
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I have to say you’re right Jazz.
Optimus
____________________________________________________________________
TO: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Gossip
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How’s everything at your end? Autobot City’s in an uproar because apparently Arcee prefers Prowl to both Springer and Hot Rod. Primus help us all.
OP
TO: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
FROM: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
Subject: Re: Gossip
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Eh, same old, same old. Starscream’s planning a coup, Shockwave’s inventing a new master weapon, and Soundwave is my bitch.
So, what’s this about Prowl and Arcee?
Megs
PS: Love the new screenie.
TO: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: Gossip
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Thanks.
And I’m not sure of all the details yet seeing as I haven’t talked to Jazz more on it yet, but yeah, apparently Arcee has a crush on Prowl. Why she does I have no clue since Springer and Hot Rod are always fluttering around her. Plus Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and for crying out loud - to borrow a human phrase - even Starscream have expressed interest. You’d think she’d develop a tendre for one of them.
OP
TO: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
FROM: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
Subject: Re: Gossip
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Who knows with femmes. I’m still trying to figure out what makes Strika tick. How is Elita by the way?
And e-mail me when you find out more on the Prowl’n’Arcee front.
Megs
TO: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: Gossip
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Can do.
And Elita’s doing fine. She’s as hung up on the Arcee’n’Prowl thing as everyone else is.
OP
______________________________________________________________
TO: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
FROM: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
Subject: YOU DID IT?!
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You did it! You really did!
Elita
TO: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
FROM: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
Subject: I DIDN’T!
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Seriously, I didn’t. I revealed the truth to Hot Rod and now it’s everywhere! OH Primus . . . .Prowl will never like me now! Elita, what do I do?!
Arcee
TO: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
FROM: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: I DIDN’T!
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Hon, you’ve got to actually speak to him. I’m sure Prowl will at least consent to a date at the very least.
Elita
TO: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
FROM: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: I DIDN’T
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Is there an unspoken ‘or else’ hidden in there?
Arcee
_____________________________________________________________________
TO: crackers @ cybertron .com
FROM: screamer @ cybertron .com
Subject: NYUUUU!
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Arcee. Is. Taken. *cries* Megatron just e-mailed me with the news the giddy fragger. He said that Arcee has a thing for that Autobot wimp Prowl.
My life is destroyed.
Starscream
TO: screamer @ cybertron.com
FROM: crackers @cybertron.com
Subject: Re: NYUUUU!
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Prowl hunh? I told you to move on her earlier. But nooooooooo. Let’s wait and wait and lose her to some Auto-aft who has a verb for a name!
Smooth Screamie, just smooth.
Thundercracker
_________________________________________________________
TO:
crackers@cybertron.comFROM:
warped@cybertron.comSubject: Mutiny
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Can we kill Starscream? PWEAZE?!
Skywarp