The Energon Pub

There’s only one way to describe Jetfire. Big-ass and coated in weapons. His helmet has two guns. He’s got two massive cannons on his shoulders in robot mode, and on the back of his jet mode. He’s got two missile launchers on his hands that fire translucent blue missiles. And, he’s got a gun with two nozzles. Which splits into two. Nice! You wait for an Autobot with a gun, and you get one with enough for the whole team. I originally set out to find Blackout. I failed, Woolworths had ran out. But then I went into Forbidden Planet, and he caught my eye. He transforms into a cool looking spaceship, with two big guns on the top. There are two orange Autobot symbols on his wings….wait…orange?! Hello? Optimus is your leader here, not Huffer! *sigh*. He really needs to learn who he serves. His robot mode is like a cross between his original toy and G1 animation model. He’s got the cartoon’s head, and the original toy’s head as a helmet. Although, unless I’m putting it on him wrong, he can’t see out of it. Balancing in robot mode can be an issue. His ‘power pack’, I like calling it that, makes him fall over backward, unless you get his legs just right. I’ve got him standing up straight, which appears to be quite an accomplishment, (he usually just falls over). His legs rotate at the knee, but when I tried to balance him before, they shortened drastically. It was odd when I first transformed him. I wondered why he was so short and stubby. It was because I’d not extended his legs or raised his arms. Stupid instructions confusing me. He’s got wheels, that let him be rolled, that come down as landing gear, and can be raised again. His feet have an odd design. His rear thrusters split in half, which seems to be some sort of Automorph. Basically, you move one half, the other half moves outwards too. His missiles actually have some range to them! Well, a single bed’s width worth of range.
Speaking of confusing instructions, they detail the transformation from vehicle-to-robot. They claim to go robot-to-vehicle. Do these people actually know what a robot looks like? At all? It’s like with the old animators. Ooh, the Autobot Leader, Optimus Prime. He’s red and white, right? Ok, then. *colours him in proper colours*. Couple of episodes later, ooh, I’m feeling funny today, let’s make him blue instead. Oh, and that Shockwave guy? It’s not cool to only have one hand. Let’s replace that silly little gun of his with another hand.
Idiots. Don’t pay them enough and they deliberately colour your characters wrong.
The instructions came packaged with an advert. Great. I buy a Classics figure, and get a list of Cybertron figures to blow my money on. And a little story about them. Plus a tiny, tiny bio for Metroplex. The story goes like this: Soundwave and Sideways sneak up on Optimus and Metroplex. Drill Bit warns them about the attack. Quickmix shoots Menasor. Galvatron pulls a stupid face in front of Primus. What the hell?

I rate Jetfire a 9/10. He is cool. He is awesome. His balancing sucks.

Jetfire was one of the first Classics I got, possibly even the first, and he's made of all kinds of awesome. Who needs working feet when you carry enough firepower to dismantle a small star?

One bit of advice for future reviews; break things up into paragraphs - it's difficult / uncomfortable to read large blocks of text like that.

I'll be frank, that was one of the most diabolical reviews I've ever read. It's completely muddled. You seem to switch between discussing the robot mode, alt mode and your trip to the stores at the drop of a hat. It's poorly structured, with not enough paragraphs or pictures to break up the reading. Most of it is nonsensical rambling, especially near the end. This section had me gaping in disbelief:

Thyunda wrote:Ooh, the Autobot Leader, Optimus Prime. He’s red and white, right? Ok, then. *colours him in proper colours*. Couple of episodes later, ooh, I’m feeling funny today, let’s make him blue instead. Oh, and that Shockwave guy? It’s not cool to only have one hand. Let’s replace that silly little gun of his with another hand.
Idiots. Don’t pay them enough and they deliberately colour your characters wrong.
The instructions came packaged with an advert. Great. I buy a Classics figure, and get a list of Cybertron figures to blow my money on. And a little story about them. Plus a tiny, tiny bio for Metroplex. The story goes like this: Soundwave and Sideways sneak up on Optimus and Metroplex. Drill Bit warns them about the attack. Quickmix shoots Menasor. Galvatron pulls a stupid face in front of Primus. What the hell?

What in God's name was that? Is this even part of the review? Oh and Jetfire's Autobot symbols are red, not orange. I wouldn't recommend you write another review until you get your eyes - and head - checked.

nope, im frank

I'm confused Classics Jetfire has been out forever, why the review?

You need to organize your review better. Also, it could use some pics.

Pics can be found in the gallery. What it really needs is structure -it's almost as hard to read as Finnegans Wake.
What was the point of the Shockwave hand thing? That section was... odd. And the summary. Oh dear.
Try rewriting it split into sections, for example:

the look of the jet mode

features and playability of jet mode, including things like being able to remove the guns

transformation

look of the robot mode

playability and poseability including balance problems and choice of weaponry

Then reread it to see if it really works.

Glitcher wrote:I'll be frank, that was one of the most diabolical reviews I've ever read. It's completely muddled. You seem to switch between discussing the robot mode, alt mode and your trip to the stores at the drop of a hat. It's poorly structured, with not enough paragraphs or pictures to break up the reading. Most of it is nonsensical rambling, especially near the end. This section had me gaping in disbelief:

Thyunda wrote:Ooh, the Autobot Leader, Optimus Prime. He’s red and white, right? Ok, then. *colours him in proper colours*. Couple of episodes later, ooh, I’m feeling funny today, let’s make him blue instead. Oh, and that Shockwave guy? It’s not cool to only have one hand. Let’s replace that silly little gun of his with another hand.
Idiots. Don’t pay them enough and they deliberately colour your characters wrong.
The instructions came packaged with an advert. Great. I buy a Classics figure, and get a list of Cybertron figures to blow my money on. And a little story about them. Plus a tiny, tiny bio for Metroplex. The story goes like this: Soundwave and Sideways sneak up on Optimus and Metroplex. Drill Bit warns them about the attack. Quickmix shoots Menasor. Galvatron pulls a stupid face in front of Primus. What the hell?

What in God's name was that? Is this even part of the review? Oh and Jetfire's Autobot symbols are red, not orange. I wouldn't recommend you write another review until you get your eyes - and head - checked.

These ones are ORANGE. The stripe on his wing is RED. There's nothing wrong with my eyesight. But I know orange when I see it.
And of course that bit is part of the review. The story thing was packed in with it, so I figured I may as well put that in.
Usually, when I write these things, I'm either tired, or very, very hungry. Or I've hurt my head something fierce.

OptimusPrimeRib wrote:I'm confused Classics Jetfire has been out forever, why the review?

Because I only just got it. And I review every figure I get.

Absolutely nothing wrong with posting a review of an old figure. Only a few weeks ago someone reviewed the Classics combiners. We like reading other people's oppinions and someone will have not got around to buying or openning it and may welcome some info.

Glitcher wrote:I'll be frank, that was one of the most diabolical reviews I've ever read. It's completely muddled. You seem to switch between discussing the robot mode, alt mode and your trip to the stores at the drop of a hat. It's poorly structured, with not enough paragraphs or pictures to break up the reading. Most of it is nonsensical rambling, especially near the end. This section had me gaping in disbelief:

Thyunda wrote:Ooh, the Autobot Leader, Optimus Prime. He’s red and white, right? Ok, then. *colours him in proper colours*. Couple of episodes later, ooh, I’m feeling funny today, let’s make him blue instead. Oh, and that Shockwave guy? It’s not cool to only have one hand. Let’s replace that silly little gun of his with another hand.
Idiots. Don’t pay them enough and they deliberately colour your characters wrong.
The instructions came packaged with an advert. Great. I buy a Classics figure, and get a list of Cybertron figures to blow my money on. And a little story about them. Plus a tiny, tiny bio for Metroplex. The story goes like this: Soundwave and Sideways sneak up on Optimus and Metroplex. Drill Bit warns them about the attack. Quickmix shoots Menasor. Galvatron pulls a stupid face in front of Primus. What the hell?

What in God's name was that? Is this even part of the review? Oh and Jetfire's Autobot symbols are red, not orange. I wouldn't recommend you write another review until you get your eyes - and head - checked.

And I wouldn't recommend you continue to post on web forums until you can improve your bedside manner. Making points for improvemen is all well and good, but commenting on someone's mentality is out of line.

Who are you, on the internet no less, to say the guy needs help?

You'll have to excuse me, but I'm getting tired of your posting. Near enough every post I've read by you includes at least 50% bitching and whining.


Having said that, Thyunda-- please, paragraphs man, paragraphs.

That, and I do love pics. Whether I have to toy or not, it's nice to see how others pose their tfs.

I've never been good with paragraphs. I'm gonna save up for a digital camera. I will prove that these symbols are ORANGE. Glitcher, do you even own the figure?

It doesn't surprise me that your figure does have orange insignia.
We all know how terrible Hasbro factories are at getting QC right.

Think of all the categories you want to comment on (use some of the ideas I suggested earlier and include your own if you want). Put comments under whatever category you think is best and put each category in a new paragraph. You don't have to use headings but it's a simple and clear way of introducing each part. Rewrite this review and we'll tell you what we think!

I just picked up my Jetfire and looked closely at it and... you're both right.

The majority of the red on Jetfire is a nice, rich, deep red. But the red on his Autobot symbols is a brighter, more orangey red. In fact, I'd put it right on that bare thin line between orange and red.

To some, his symbol would seem "orange", especially compared to the darker stripes around them. To others, it would look "red" because it's not bright enough for them to consider it "orange".

Now that you mention it, it is a bit orangey, definately not the same red as the rest.

Mykltron wrote:Think of all the categories you want to comment on (use some of the ideas I suggested earlier and include your own if you want). Put comments under whatever category you think is best and put each category in a new paragraph. You don't have to use headings but it's a simple and clear way of introducing each part. Rewrite this review and we'll tell you what we think!

This one was mainly written for the members of The Transformers Archive, who seemed to read my reviews, not for the information, but for the pure comedy I like to put in it.
I mean, being honest here, if I didn't ramble on about random TF related things, it'd just look like everyone elses reviews. I won't rewrite this one, because, to be honest, I'm too lazy. You'll have to wait till next Saturday, when I get a new figure. By the way, I do do requests for reviews, within reason.
Priorities right now are: Voyager Blackout, Deluxe Concept Camaro Bumblebee and Deluxe Wreckage.

So it's deliberately bad? Are you the Tommy Cooper of TF reviews?

I'd say yes, but I don't know who Tommy Cooper is. I have photographic evidence that Jetire has orange symbols.