It's a tradition now that the penultimate entry in my list be insanely self-indulgent (second time out of two counts as a tradition, right?) and this list is no exception.
The year was 1992. The Super Nintendo was blazing a trail around the world, Tron was celebrating its 10th anniversary by doing nothing in particular and in the US the Transformers franchise which had spent almost a decade drinking and partying wildly ended up stumbling home in the dark, destined to wake up in the morning swearing it would never do Action Masters again.
As mentioned in a prior entry Hasbro would eventually hand the franchise over to Kenner who would create a transforming rat and a snowboarding chrome gorilla because f*ck yeah whimsy! Before that though, Hasbro had one more trick up their sleeves:
A picture speaks a thousand colours.
While combining the advanced technology of 1984 and the aesthetics of 1992 was a foolproof plan the delayed launch of G2 left a void in the lumbering zombie that was the European toy market. At this point Hasbro Europe who were clearly getting the secondary smoke from Hasbro US decided to reproduce some of the combining teams that were doing so well in Japan as part of the Victory line but make the teams incomplete and without the combining accessories. I am not kidding.
This period which combined neutered versions of awesome Japanese figures and awesome original molds that would eventually be killed off in IDW comics was rather awkwardly known as Generation 1.5 due to the usage of G2 faction symbols and aesthetics but lack of the G2 subtitle. With the recent exception of RTS Windcharger this was pretty much the only time that Europe was on top of the collecting game.
Enter Deluge.
"Yes, yes, heil me."
Deluge is a super sexy figure despite a hideous lack of articulation. He has an awesome and unique headsculpt and a fantastic vehicle mode.
Aside from neon colours Generation 1.5 had a number of strange quirks. One was the tendency for characters to have bizarrely inflated tech specs and abilities, meaning that the likes of Deluge here were canonically as strong and powerful as Grimlock despite being just regular dudes. Another quirk was that the gimmickry from the 80s was rife. Deluge was part of a team called the Aquaspeeders who had the ability to squirt water and the ability to change colour.
Their Decepticon counterparts were called the Stormtroopers. Reichtastic!
When the G2 line was introduced worldwide figures like this were inducted amongst the blue Grimlocks, purple Ramjets and pink Springers, usually with their names changed to more embarrassing ones. Seriously, Zap got renamed Windbreaker. Windbreaker.
Um...shouldn't there be some weirdness here? It's at this point the weirdness ball starts rolling.
Pictured: the weirdness ball.
For whatever reason Hasbro US decided that the Aquaspeeders would make a fine US release but only if their names and allegiances were more screwed up than Unicron's dietician. Deluge's mold with a minor colour change became a different Autobot called Drench while the name Deluge was given to the F-1 mold that was originally called Slipstream who was now a Decepticon.
Try to keep up, it's going to get more confusing.
Meanwhile, in Armada...
In Armada there was a character called Wheeljack. He isn't quite the Wheeljack we all know and like; instead he is a hardarse who dual-wields swords, turns into a sports car and changed factions because f*ck Drift.
In Armada Wheeljack was left to die by Hot Shot and was rescued by Megatron. In the process he decided to dramatically scratch the Autobot logo on his chest like he's fecking Sagat and got the Decepti-logo on his arm.
A heroic Decepticon. Or an Evil Autobot.
#2: BotCon SideswipeThese two masses of faction-frippery were scheduled to collide in the form of Universe Drench, the latter repainted in the style of the former. This never happened due to all of humankind's sins. All was not lost however, as those brave BotCon folks managed to get this figure released at their convention. For whatever reason the figure was named Sideswipe at the suggestion of Hasbro execs who were receiving signals from the moon at this point.
I'm the reason wikis exist.
BotCon Sideswipe is a resident of the Shattered Glass universe where Autobots are evil, Decepticons are good, cats and dogs live together, mass hysteria. Sideswipe was a subordinate of Drench who was killed in a very ambushy-fashion and so he decided to take on his former leader's colours and become a hero purely for the sake of revenge.
Wait, what?So to sum up, this figure is a good Decepticon who used to be a bad Autobot who is a repaint of an ex-Autobot Decepticon; he took the colours of a evil Autobot who who is a homage to an Autobot who was a repaint of another Autobot whose name was used for a Decepticon who was a repaint of another guy. And he comes with a Minicon who is a Micromaster.
I think that last paragraph just made my virginity grow back.
#2: Honourable Weirdness
Jetscream.
The final entry is going to be kind of a big deal. By process of elimination some of you will have guessed the final entry, especially if they know me so I'd appreciate your discretion.
Oh, it is more than that, my malevolent minion. That is the most powerful list in Transformer history. The list that shot down the Ark itself! THE LIST OF WEIRDEST TOYS!
[ Click to attempt signal recovery... ]
