The Energon Pub

Usually I can be found in the Toy Forum, discussing the best and the weirdest toys but now I decided to turn my attention to the latest Transformers series.

Even before Transformers: Prime came out I was filled with trepidation. The series was being touted as a new "mature" series. Even the word "gritty" may have been bandied about. At last, a serious, po-faced series about the transforming robot aliens from space.

The trouble is, the word "mature" is one of those things where the more you talk about it the less you have it, like G1 Fortress Maximus or sex. A "mature" video game will usually have you playing a space marine who is marginally broader than he is tall shooting aliens with a bullet-hose. "Mature" comics are just like regular comics with more chins, blood and swears.

And so I approached Prime with the same open-mindedness as I would something I deeply dislike like a salad, a chav or an episode of Transformers: Prime. But now that I've watched it throughout I have a new found understanding and respect for the amount of fun I can make of this show.

Episode 1: Arrival From Somewheretron

The first thing we get to see is Cliffjumper, portrayed by Dwayne "The Tan" Johnson skyping with Arcee, who is the sassy, senstitive, and dare I say it token female character that we're all used to. It's 30 seconds before we get the first reference to policemen soiling their own trousers and 50 seconds before the infodump (WE ARE KEEPING LOW PROFILE HUNTING ENERGON DON'T KNOW WHERE DECEPTICONS ARE). We soon get into our first fight as Cliffjumper starts fighting off Decepticlones (one of the admittedly interesting concepts in this show is how hilariously outnumbered the Autobots are, though this becomes less relevant in later episodes).

And then we get the title screen because this children's cartoon is too awesome for a theme tune.

The next thing that we discover is that the Autobots apparently spend all their time driving around in the vague hope that they'll spot some energon out of the corner of their windshields. They agree to rendezvous back at base so that they can use the Groundbridge (a device that can take them to any number of loosely-rendered, totally unpopulated areas) to follow Cliff. Meanwhile a defeated Cliff gets brought before the most poorly-designed Starscream since Classics Pretenders. It turns out that STARSCREAM WINS: FATALITY!!

The combined forces of the Autobots make a very grand and orchestral entrance into (in what I hope is self-aware enough to be supposed to be a comedy moment) and empty canyon. After discovering Cliff's death he gets a ten second eulogy before the Autobots get back to their giddy schedule of protecting humans and complaining about protecting humans. Given that this is apparently the first Decepticon activity in three years (hey, that's a lot of driving around looking aimlessly for energon) I wonder how they can go "back" to protecting humans but that's why I never got to write for a Michael Bay movie.

It's here that we meet our first human, Jack. His first lines of dialogue are delivered with so much boredom and derision that I wonder if he's been watching this show. Anyway he's in a job he clearly dislikes and doing it poorly and stupidly. The audience-surrogate character, ladies and gents! Arcee pulls into the car park of the not-Burger King that he works at to avoid more Decepticlones. Jack starts fondling what he thinks is an ordinary motorcycle in a scene exactly as creepy as it sounds, and when some girls approach he reveals that he's as good with the ladies as he is with his career and being funny.

After Jack straddles Arcee, again as creepy as it sounds, Decepticlones attack and the fembot is forced to make a getaway. During this scene we get to see a bit of Arcee's character, which is good. Unfortunately it's the same as every female Autobot/Maximal character we've seen before. Male characters get to be stupid, grumpy, cute, hyperactive, aggressive, pigheaded, nerdy, dignified or authoritarian. Female Transformers wind up being intelligent, snarky and secretly sensitive every damn time. We will eventually get to see a female 'former who's a little different later in the series but for now it's annoying.

After a too-long getaway scene we get to meet Human 2, Raf, who apparently spends his free time by himself with a remote-control car under a freeway. At this point we go from a 5-minute car chase scene to a 5-minute fight scene between Arcee, Bumblebee and 2 Decepticlones. To be fair, the fights are one of the series' strong points; they are far more fluid than previous installments and far cleaner and tighter than the Movieverse battles. In a painfully obnoxious moment it's revealed that Bumblebee is still voiceless and is stuck communticating in WALL-E style beeps and whirrs. It's an oddly kid-friendly trait that sticks out like a sore thumb in this supposedly more mature show.

Raf gets the Decepticlones' attention which results in one of them turning its back on the two armed robotic opponents, forgetting that it has a gun and following the humans so ploddingly that they have time to climb inside a drain. Bear in mind here that the clones are not mindless drones, they can certainly talk.

Anyway the two Decepticlones hold their own against the 'bots which is good for them because once more named Decepticons show up they'll be reduced to the level of Putty Patrollers. However once Bulkhead turns up they quickly leave the scene (later on it turns out that Bulkhead is pretty bloody hardcore so this makes sense). Back at base Optimus Prig lets RC and BB know that they're on babysitting duty until further notice.

Here we get to meet Human 3, Miko, who is the most engaging character in the show. Remember that show Heroes where everyone was very emo about having superpowers except for Hiro? Miko carries on the fine tradition of Japanese characters who can see the awesome side while everyone else is moaning. While Arcee and Jack both make it clear that they're just as happy to be in this situation as I am to be watching it, she is visibly having a great time.

It's at this point that everyone gets back to Autobase where we get a (fairly impressive) worm's-eye view of the characters. Optimus gets to do his exposition speech from Transformers (2007) again. At least Miko points out how heavy the expospeak is getting. Meanwhile using their spacebridge the Decepticons summon from space...Motormaster! Just kidding, it's Megatron, anyting else would have been too interesting.

Character Notes: Cliffjumper

We get to enjoy Cliffjumper's personality for a good three minutes in this episode and what we get of it is good stuff. He's chrasimatic, slightly boastful but willing to admit when he's in over his head. He's made up his own catchphrase ("...you get the HORNS!") which is an impressive bit of characterization. Just in his few scenes he gets more diluted uniqueness than anyone else does in the other 19 minutes of the episode. Which is rather sad, given that his job is just to be killed off. It's like baking a beautiful cake for dinner guests and then dumping it upside down on the table.

As a device Cliffjumper is alarmingly blatant. He's here purely to show that anyone can die and that this show is super super serious and so he gets personality enough to not be a redshirt. But that really doesn't need to be the end of it for him. At the start of Watchmen the Comedian is killed within the first few pages but his presence, legacy and character persist throughout the book. Here, Cliffjumper is forgotten less than an act later. Everyone is making snide comments or happy beeps and no-one reminisces or talks about the loss. It's an empty emotion following an empty gesture.

Final analysis

As you may have noticed I was very hard on this episode. Maybe harder than it deserves. It certainly isn't a bad or incompetent start to a show. But the various elements here (Autobots befriend humans, Starscream prepares to stab Megatron in the back) are such a familiar pitcher that the writers should have been able to knock this clean out of the park. By now, it should be possible to write an opening episode to a TF series in your sleep. And yet there's nothing inspiring here.

I'm going to be possibly unfair and compare this to two of the best shows, Beast Wars and Animated. Beast Wars was a good example. Within a few lines of dialogue we have the fascinating Dinobot, the sinister Megatron and some realistic and compelling conflict between the heroes. Animated manages to pack raw character into its very designs. This episode, on the other hand felt dry and weak.

That's not to say there isn't potential for later. It's true that in later epsiodes the show picks up a bit. But I'll save that for next time.

Haven't you heard? Diems multiply.

At first, I thought you were being tongue-in-cheek like always, then I read the final analysis.

Yes, this episode wasn't great. Yes, it was a slow start. Yes, I too was disappointed with it when I first saw it. But, before all the Prime fans get on you for this review, I do want to point out that I'm glad that you do see potential in it for later episodes to pick up on, and they sure do. Of the 23 episodes that have aired, episodes 12, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20, 22, and 23 are exceptionally good.

Though, two things.
* These "Decepticlones", as you call them, do have a name.
* Cliff didn't have just three minutes of character, but also 96 pages in the prequel comic that came out a little before episode 1 aired.

Sabrblade wrote:At first, I thought you were being tongue-in-cheek like always, then I read the final analysis.

Yes, this episode wasn't great. Yes, it was a slow start. Yes, I too was disappointed with it when I first saw it. But, before all the Prime fans get on you for this review, I do want to point out that I'm glad that you do see potential in it for later episodes to pick up on, and they sure do. Of the 23 episodes that have aired, episodes 12, 13, 14, 17, 19, 20, 22, and 23 are exceptionally good.

Though, two things.
* These "Decepticlones", as you call them, do have a name.
* Cliff didn't have just three minutes of character, but also 96 pages in the prequel comic that came out a little before episode 1 aired.

Yes, the later episode reviews will be a little less cutthroat. I'm trying to recreate the feeling of first watching the series as the quality of the series gradually grew...then dipped, then grew...

The Decepticlones get the name Terrorcons as soon as five of them merge to form Abominus. Until then they're named after the PS2 Armada game.

I can't pretend to have read the comic but if they spent more time building Cliff up before slicing him down it's an even emptier gesture.

Thanks for the support Sabr!

Diem wrote:The Decepticlones get the name Terrorcons as soon as five of them merge to form Abominus. Until then they're named after the PS2 Armada game.

They won't...because they aren't called Terrorcons, they're called Eradicons. Something officially called "Terrorcons" do appear, but they're never called that in the show, and they're given a much more apt name instead.

As for Cliffjumper, he's brought up several times in future episodes.

TFs: Prime is better than the Unicron Trilogy in the sense that the dialogue isn't quite as simplistic &, of course, it's in CGI. It's not that much more "mature" (unless you count bots getting sliced in half mature) or "gritty" (unless dark backgrounds count) either.

I can sum up TFs: Prime this way: it's like the formulaic TFs kid-oriented cartoon grafted onto the Bay-verse setting (i.e., TFs come to Earth b/c Cybertron is no longer a suitable place to live). It does get better after the first 5-episode arc.

But Miko takes the prize as THE MOST ANNOYING HUMAN EVER IN A TFS SERIES. I watch every ep hoping she'd get squished.

Shadowman wrote:

Diem wrote:The Decepticlones get the name Terrorcons as soon as five of them merge to form Abominus. Until then they're named after the PS2 Armada game.

They won't...because they aren't called Terrorcons, they're called Eradicons. Something officially called "Terrorcons" do appear, but they're never called that in the show, and they're given a much more apt name instead.

As for Cliffjumper, he's brought up several times in future episodes.

D'oh! Yep, getting drones confused with zombies. I'll have more to say about THAT later.

I haven't seen the most recent 2 or 3 episodes but all I've seen of Cliff is him appearing during a flashback in Predatory and getting mentioned again in Partners due to a plot point. But where is the emotional depth? When do we see Arcee absent mindedly calling Bumblebee Cliff? Where are scenes of Ratchet finding some red spare parts in his toolbox and looking sad? If you're going to play up the fact that someone dies in the first episode you can't just sweep it under the rug.

Anyway I'm just ranting now, sorry.

VEHICONS! That's what the show's staff calls the drones. Not Eradicons. Vehicons.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm coming on too strongly on this, but I just get irked when I hear the term "Eradicon" being used over "Vehicon", as it continues to remind me of how I also used that name by mistake not knowing of the Vehicon term. I don't want anyone to have to make the same mistakes that I made.

Sabrblade wrote:VEHICONS! That's what the show's staff calls the drones. Not Eradicons. Vehicons.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm coming on too strongly on this, but I just get irked when I hear the term "Eradicon" being used over "Vehicon", as it continues to remind me of how I also used that name by mistake not knowing of the Vehicon term. I don't want anyone to have to make the same mistakes that I made.

From now on I'm gonna call them Junkions just to annoy you

Diem wrote:

Sabrblade wrote:VEHICONS! That's what the show's staff calls the drones. Not Eradicons. Vehicons.

I'm sorry if I sound like I'm coming on too strongly on this, but I just get irked when I hear the term "Eradicon" being used over "Vehicon", as it continues to remind me of how I also used that name by mistake not knowing of the Vehicon term. I don't want anyone to have to make the same mistakes that I made.

From now on I'm gonna call them Junkions just to annoy you

Anyway let's continue:

Episode 2: Electric Boogaloo

Among all the genres Sci-fi and fantasy are unique in that the first sequel is often better than the original. Just look at X-men 2, Spiderman 2 or Aliens. The reason is usually simple; we got all the expowank out of the way already and so the pacing drastically improves. The same is true here; now that stuff where the "Autobots" and "Decepticons" are fighting over "Energon" so that they can shoot "Lasers" and utter "Prosaic Dialogue" is out of the way we can get on with the actual story.

We start with Starscream and his shelfwarmer army sucking up to Megatron about how awesome he is at gathering Energon. In turn Megatron shows how awesome HE is at taking the wind out of Starscream's sails. This leads into the most embarrassing moment of the episode where Megsie and Screamer have a brief contest to see who can give the most ham-fisted yet obtuse exposition about Dark Energon which is apparently the "anti-spark" (What?), the Blood of Unicron (Who?) and comes from cosmic shores (Where?). It's a very awkward scene.

Megatron offers to kill Starscream FOR SCIENCE! but Screamer volunteers the body of Cliff instead.

Meanwhile at Chez Autobot Optimus advises the kids that he's putting them under house arrest while Ratchet channels Doctor McCoy surrounded by Vulcans. Suddenly, Green Alert! It's time to meet Human 4.

Agent Fowler is one of the better characters, horrible cliche though he is. He's a grumpy, by-the-book government agent with a heart of gold and balls of steel. But more on him later. Optimus decides it might look bad if the government finds out he's keeping three minors in his basement so he tells the kids to hide. Fowler and Prime re-enact the scene from Revenge of the Fallen with the government agent but this time there's a genuinely funny moment.

This leads directly into a scene where Megatron plays Primus by sticking some Dark Energon into Corpsejumper's chest. This turns him into a rampaging zombie, so Megatron turns him into an easy two-piece jigsaw puzzle and then kicks him off a ledge because when it comes to zombies there's no kill like overkill. The Autobots pick up the signal and decide to go to the mine and leave the minors behind with Ratchet.

We then get into another fight scene between the Autobots and Starscream's Barmy Army. Again the fight scenes are rather nice compared to other things, especially the backdrops which still look unconvincing and video-gamey. Back at base Raf starts to earn his keep by being a computer wiz. Back at the mine (phew) Megatron is writing love letters to Dark Energon until he finds out that the Autobots have arrived. His cunning plan is to run away and blow up the mines. Arcee grabs Clifflurcher but discovers that he is a zombie goast now and the Autobots retreat empty-handed (a distressingly common theme in this show). Jack points out that there may be a few issues with keeping the kids at base, namely parents and bedtimes. Optimus partners up bots with kids and sends them all home. Jack ends up having to explain to his concerned mother why he now has a shiny new motorbike in the garage (if Rak and Miko have similar issues it's not shown onscreen). The next morning Jack heads out with Arcee after a sly dig at people who watch cartoons (Ahahaha! Haha! Ha.)

Starscream proves that as much as he dislikes Megatron he likes the idea of an insane Mega-zombie even less but Megatron insists on trying the Dark Energon first hand. Cliffhanger! Meanwhile Arcee accidentally brought some Dark Energon back to Autobase and it's brought some medical equipment to life! Cliffhanger!

Character notes: Jack

This is the second episode to use Jack as an audience surrogate character and it's still a little tricky at this stage to get a bearing on what he's like. He is, however, a very recognisable example of a "reaction" character type, someone who reacts rather than acts. He's in a job he hates and gets rescued from that by Arcee. Arcee drags him into fights, out of fights, back to base, back home. Aside from a few snarky comments he's little more than a ragdoll, there to look surprised and get into danger. He implies in this episode that he's too cool to watch cartoons but what does he want to do? In later episodes we'll get to see more of his personality but for now he show gets stolen by almost everyone else.

Final Analysis

As alluded to above this episode is a step up from the previous episode in so many ways. Now that there is more than one speaking part in the Decepticon ranks we get to hear all the insidious plans and the genuinely shocking appearance of Cliffthriller adds a sense of menace to the show (that sadly later episodes will have difficulty maintaining). We've seen Starscream and Megatron interact a million times in a million incarnations so there's nothing too exciting there. The Autobots get a little more personality here with Ratchet stealing all the best lines and strict schoolmarm Arcee letting her guard down for a moment. Fowler is a great character even though his conversation is basically there to demonstrate the friendly belligerence between the Autobots and the human government and consists of him and Optimus telling each other to keep out of trouble and stop interfering. And Jack's mother, in the little we see of her, is the best character yet; she is an accurate portrayal of the single parent of a teenager trying to give him space but keep him safe.

More pertinently, Jack's mother is the only thing in this episode that I haven't seen before somewhere. There's a fine line between the type of "aligned" continuity that the writers are trying to create and a hodge-podge of unoriginality and the show keeps swinging wildly. The parts that are meant to be grabbing my attention like the Dark Energon plot and zombies are exactly the parts that are making me yawn while the understated, throwaway moments are what made me give this show another chance.

Diem, I NEEDED THAT!

Keep'em coming, Diem.

Diem wrote:We start with Starscream and his shelfwarmer army

I certainly hope that they are shelfwarmers, cuz I wanna buy as many as possible.

Diem wrote:More pertinently, Jack's mother is the only thing in this episode that I haven't seen before somewhere. There's a fine line between the type of "aligned" continuity that the writers are trying to create and a hodge-podge of unoriginality and the show keeps swinging wildly. The parts that are meant to be grabbing my attention like the Dark Energon plot and zombies are exactly the parts that are making me yawn while the understated, throwaway moments are what made me give this show another chance.

You know, I never thought about June like that. I think you might be right in that we haven't seen her kind of character in a TF series before. It's these elements of uniqueness and originality that I find the most interesting in this show. Though, countless times I have tried to explain to some people that not all "homages" are the same as "ripoffs". If you could continue to point out more of these elements that are unique to this show first and aren't taken from a past series, it would be greatly appreciated.

Sabrblade wrote:VEHICONS! That's what the show's staff calls the drones. Not Eradicons. Vehicons.

Yeah, Vehicons. Not sure how I got that one mixed up. Again.

Diem wrote:the Blood of Unicron (Who?)

You know, Unicron? Turns into a planet, eats other planets. Basically the TF equivalent of the devil? he's kind of a big deal. How do you not know Unicron?

Diem wrote:the Blood of Unicron (Who?)

You know, Unicron? Turns into a planet, eats other planets. Basically the TF equivalent of the devil? he's kind of a big deal. How do you not know Unicron?[/quote]

Given that the series tells us, amongst other things, what Cybertron and Energon are I assume we're not "supposed" to know these things as viewers. We even get told who Optimus Prime is, in case we hadn't seen him shelfwarming lately. Yet Unicron gets name checked and there's no explanation beyond "Unicron the Destroyer".

Diem wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Diem wrote:the Blood of Unicron (Who?)

You know, Unicron? Turns into a planet, eats other planets. Basically the TF equivalent of the devil? he's kind of a big deal. How do you not know Unicron?

Given that the series tells us, amongst other things, what Cybertron and Energon are I assume we're not "supposed" to know these things as viewers. We even get told who Optimus Prime is, in case we hadn't seen him shelfwarming lately. Yet Unicron gets name checked and there's no explanation beyond "Unicron the Destroyer".

I guess that does add a little magic to the mystery. But there are those who may not be veteran fans but could have still learned of these from playing WFC and reading the novel.

Sabrblade wrote:

Diem wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Diem wrote:the Blood of Unicron (Who?)

You know, Unicron? Turns into a planet, eats other planets. Basically the TF equivalent of the devil? he's kind of a big deal. How do you not know Unicron?

Given that the series tells us, amongst other things, what Cybertron and Energon are I assume we're not "supposed" to know these things as viewers. We even get told who Optimus Prime is, in case we hadn't seen him shelfwarming lately. Yet Unicron gets name checked and there's no explanation beyond "Unicron the Destroyer".

I guess that does add a little magic to the mystery. But there are those who may not be veteran fans but could have still learned of these from playing WFC and reading the novel.

That, and, considering they call him "Unicron the Destroyer" in a shocked tone, that his blood is the anti-Spark, and using it on a dead body makes it turn into a zombie, even people who don't know Unicron would think "Probably not one of the good guys."

I get the feeling that Unicron, in this series, is one of those things that the current cast has only ever heard of. Kind of like Unicron is part of Cybertronian folklore. I have seen the first episodes in a while, did any of the TF's mention that they were around when Unicron did his thing?

I don't even remember that they said what Unicron actually did. People that are new to the fandom might be entirely clueless about Unicron.

SJ21 wrote:I get the feeling that Unicron, in this series, is one of those things that the current cast has only ever heard of. Kind of like Unicron is part of Cybertronian folklore. I have seen the first episodes in a while, did any of the TF's mention that they were around when Unicron did his thing?

I don't even remember that they said what Unicron actually did. People that are new to the fandom might be entirely clueless about Unicron.

None of the current cast of characters were around when Unicron first appeared. They have only ever heard of him, rather than having seen or met him. You are correct to think of him like a figure of folklore.

Exodus reveals that all that anyone really knows of Unicron in this universe is that he attempted to destroy Cybertron in the ancient past, was defeated in the process, and that his emanations were gathered up and collectively stored away on Trypticon Station, which came to be later known as Dark Energon.

Hiatus? What hiatus?

Now that TF: Prime is again on everyone's lips owing to some ker-azy unexpected plot twists I thought I'd get back to my labour of labour.

Episode 3 was the episode where, on my first attempt at watching Prime, I sighed, turned the TV off and got in with my life. Which in hindsight was a little unfair as the episode is far superior to the previous ones. This is mostly because rather than trying to balance 20 plots at once it finally settles down to an A plot and a B plot which gives the characters and the writers the chance to catch their breath a little.

Episode 3: The Dweller In The Depths

The episode starts with the word "Stop". The writers are trying to tell us something, apparently. In fact it's a stop sign which Arcee pauses at before demonstrating her mission to protect human life by popping 90 degree wheelies with Jack on her back. Arcee points out that we've made it almost a minute into the episode with no gunfire.
Meanwhile on "Fragile Children, Dangerous Stunts", Bulkhead points out that driving down a cliff with Miko inside him isn't the best idea...then does it anyway. From what I've heard he's not the only one who'd like to drive Miko off a cliff. Raf, on the other hand is taking it to the other ridiculous extreme; like any small child with his own awesome car he is sitting inside the stationary car, playing videogames involving driving cars. Before the writers of Inception can turn up to present him with the award for most pointless moment of recursion he loses to Bumblebee who is playing as...the red car? And Raf's the yellow one? Weird.

Meanwhile we switch to Ratchet who apparently hasn't noticed the sinister background music. He does, however, notice a high-pitched scuttling and beeping ("Optimus?" He really says that) which is the mating call of the Lesser-Spotted Medical Equipment Dark Energon Spider-Thingy. While the experienced combat medic gets attacked by a walking Ginzu set we cut to the titles...

And back. Okay, it's not the most exciting fight and doesn't really deserve the dramatic music it gets but Ratchet's exasperation is genuinely funny. The cyberspider is beaten by Optimus showing up at last and shooting it like a boss. Could Dark Energon be involved? You bet your sweet plot device!

Meanwhile on the Badyear blimp, a worried Starscream notices that his Boss is going Cuckoo for Dark Energon puffs. Megatron is now convinced that he can feel Unicron's blood, hear Unicron's thoughts and wear Unicron's trousers and he decides to go for a stroll with a chunk of Dark Overused Plot Device and leave Starscream in charge of doing nothing. Starscream decides in turn to kick back and watch some surveillance.

Back at Autobase Prime checks the script for the rest of the episode and figures Megatron's plan out, putting Ratchet in charge of asking stupid questions. As Prime gets ready to go earn his undead slaying badge Larry, Curly and Moe drive in and ask if they can tag along. Optimus considers the humans and decides to leave his three best fighters at home while he takes the guy who just lost to a zombie earwig with him to face the undead hordes. Arcee palms babysitting duty off to Bulkhead and goes off for a private drive with 'Bee (SHIPPER ALERT). Miko continues her campaign for next year's Hall Of Fame by a) forming a heavy metal band and b) forcing all her acquaintances to join. Thankfully the sound is drowned out by a green alert: Agent Fowler is here.

Fowler is not impressed when he finds out that the 'Bots have recruited some squishy infants and that the only 'Bot available for him to talk to is the one who ranks only slightly higher than the zombie spider and so he storms off again only for his day to get a lot worse.

In a poorly-textured canyon Prime and Ratchet stroll, telling each-other information that they both already know.

Starscream overhears Fowler and decides he wants a memorable souvenir of his Megatron-less afternoon and so he gets Soundwave to send out Laserbeakspikeballthing to intercept. Several semi-witty lines and some fancy flying later Laserspike demonstrates why birds are higher on the food chain than helicopters. Fortunately Fowler has time to activate the Bat-Signal but doesn't count on the fact that Bulkhead has more important things to do than rescue him (percussion?). Thankfully Raf's magic laptop lets Team Picked Last know where Fowler is being held.

Starscream is busy playing Bad Cop/Bad Cop for Fowler's benefit (and also takes a moment to explain that he has "no appreciation for human humour" which is such an obvious opportunity to mock the writers that I'll resist it) while Bulkhead decides to ground bridge to Fowler's location which turns out to be...the entire Decepticon battleship. And Miko followed him. And a Vehicon just spotted them.

Bulkhead jumps the Vehicon who puts up a pretty good fight (Vehicon fans take note, this is the last time any of them will be in any way effective) and in another genuinely funny moment Miko tries to help by dropping a small (by Transformer standards) rock on the 'Con's head. Bulkhead prepares to do a FATALITY! but before he can FINISH HIM! he instructs Miko to look away. In another brilliant moment she proceeds to do nothing of the sort, instead looking on in awe while Bulkhead gives the poor con an impromptu important-looking-cable-ectomy.

Back at base Jack and Raf decide that the only thing better than one defenceless human in mortal peril is three, and so they also ground bridge out, presumably locking everyone out of base. This rather pathetic cavalry arrives which annoys Miko who felt sure that this was her focus episode.

Meanwhile in the canyon Megatron arrives and takes the opportunity to belittle Ratchet (gotta love a tyrant with attention to detail) but before anything interesting can happen Megatron uses the Dark Energon to summon...ROBO-ZOMBIES!!!!

Character Notes: Bulkhead

There's something about Transformers: Prime, a kind of filter. For a show that seems so obsessed with granting lives to things that shouldn't be alive the whole show lacks a certain vibrancy. Jack is far more moody, passive and sullen than any previous human sidekick (except maybe Kicker), Arcee is the most generic female 'Bot in a long tradition of generic females and Prime is nothing more than a glorified nanny. Some characters are immune to the filter, like Miko and Starscream.

Some characters, however, do well from the filter. In Animated, Bulkhead was a big, clumsy, stupid oaf, cartoony and, in most episodes, a little obnoxious. Toning him down a little for Prime is a good move. He's clumsy without it grating. He's not bright, but he's not too dumb to live. Even though the other Autobots don't respect him he's still competent. Elevating him from comedy character to genuine character pays off dividends later in the series.

Final Analysis

If you asked me to say in three words why I dismiss Prime so much my answer would be ""mature"" (I would take a two-word penalty to include the speechmarks). If you asked my to say in two-and-a-half words it would be "bloody robo-zombies".

Here begins the rant: somewhere along the line zombies became a major aspect of the zeitgeist. Zombie survival books, zom-rom-coms, Marvel zombies etc. Zombie-ness (Zombiocity? Zombosis?) has unfortunately become some sort of fallback idea, some sort of refuge for writers to fall back on.

I'm not gonna blame Team Prime Writers for resorting to zombies, because hey, zeitgeist. But they could at least do them right. The Dark Enerbies lurch and sort of moan, but there's no menace. There's seemingly no threat of infection, and the zombies seem less concerned with ripping their victims to shreds and more concerned with casually dogpiling them.

Sure there are limits to the amount of scary stuff you can show in a kid's show but you'd expect a show that visibly kills a major character on screen in the first episode to be a little braver. But the bit that really stings are not that these are bad transformer zombies but also that they are bad transformer zombies. Where's the moment where one of these lurching beasts attempts to transform but winds up turning into a juddering half-transformed mess? Where's the moment where Ratchet spots a decaying Autobot badge and hesitates a moment too long?

And this is nothing compared to how Dark Energon gets used in this episode. Something bad happened? Dark Energon. Something dead comes alive? Dark Energon. Something unalive becomes alive? Dark Energon. Something alive gets stronger? Dark Energon. Something alive gets weaker? Whatever! Dark Energon.

Thankfully the show eventually gets over its obsessions with both this topics. But at this point...it's a chore to watch.

Diem wrote:But at this point...it's a chore to watch.

You had me, for the most part, up until this line.

Here's the thing, if you ever want to stop watching and reviewing a series you find difficult to watch, it's okay, we've got you covered, and we've also covered the entire first season. So the old saying comes into play here: Don't like, don't watch.

Shadowman wrote:

Diem wrote:But at this point...it's a chore to watch.

You had me, for the most part, up until this line.

Here's the thing, if you ever want to stop watching and reviewing a series you find difficult to watch, it's okay, we've got you covered, and we've also covered the entire first season. So the old saying comes into play here: Don't like, don't watch.

But what's the fun in bashing something I do like? I have to at least get to the Wheeljack episode, I can't wait to get my teeth into that one.

Diem wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Diem wrote:But at this point...it's a chore to watch.

You had me, for the most part, up until this line.

Here's the thing, if you ever want to stop watching and reviewing a series you find difficult to watch, it's okay, we've got you covered, and we've also covered the entire first season. So the old saying comes into play here: Don't like, don't watch.

But what's the fun in bashing something I do like? I have to at least get to the Wheeljack episode, I can't wait to get my teeth into that one.

I can't wait for you to get to 12. That's when this show finally grows its beard.

Until then, however, these first 11 episodes are... subpar, compared to 12 and beyond.

Sabrblade wrote:

Diem wrote:

Shadowman wrote:

Diem wrote:But at this point...it's a chore to watch.

You had me, for the most part, up until this line.

Here's the thing, if you ever want to stop watching and reviewing a series you find difficult to watch, it's okay, we've got you covered, and we've also covered the entire first season. So the old saying comes into play here: Don't like, don't watch.

But what's the fun in bashing something I do like? I have to at least get to the Wheeljack episode, I can't wait to get my teeth into that one.

I can't wait for you to get to 12. That's when this show finally grows its beard.

Until then, however, these first 11 episodes are... subpar, compared to 12 and beyond.

There's a couple of episodes that I like even before then. It's mainly just this first five-parter and a few stinkers that are really bad and everything else is at least average. Once they stop going on about how DAAAAARK ENERRRRGON is so super important the series picks up, I think.

Diem wrote:There's a couple of episodes that I like even before then. It's mainly just this first five-parter and a few stinkers that are really bad and everything else is at least average.

Yeah, though compared to the second half of the show, "average" looks kinda like "subpar".

Diem wrote:Once they stop going on about how DAAAAARK ENERRRRGON is so super important the series picks up, I think.

Except for when it's Starscream going on about it. I got some genuine amusement out of him in "Shadowzone" (especially after seeing the live script reading of it at botCon this year).

Though, I don't think the finale handled DE too badly. My main problem with it comes from another reason.

Sabrblade wrote:

Diem wrote:There's a couple of episodes that I like even before then. It's mainly just this first five-parter and a few stinkers that are really bad and everything else is at least average.

Yeah, though compared to the second half of the show, "average" looks kinda like "subpar".

Diem wrote:Once they stop going on about how DAAAAARK ENERRRRGON is so super important the series picks up, I think.

Except for when it's Starscream going on about it. I got some genuine amusement out of him in "Shadowzone" (especially after seeing the live script reading of it at botCon this year).

Though, I don't think the finale handled DE too badly. My main problem with it comes from another reason.

I'm avoiding watching the final few episodes until I get to them on this list (hahaha, not gonna happen) so that I can riff them fresh as it were.

Diem wrote:I'm avoiding watching the final few episodes until I get to them on this list (hahaha, not gonna happen) so that I can riff them fresh as it were.

Oh, sorry. Didn't know you hadn't seen them yet.