Autobot032 wrote:I've got all of you beat. I haven't worked since December 2004 as a cashier for the Thanksgiving/Christmas season at Wal-Mart.
I kid you not.
I've put in applications, I've done interviews, I've read newspaper ads 'til my eyes were sore. Nothing, nada, zip, zilch.
However, I take care of my parents (both are handicapped) and they cover my bills, expenses and rent, so it works out like I have a job.
At this point, with my nerves as bad as they are (our family has a history of nervous disorders, panic attacks, OCD, etc) and they're getting worse and worse (sometimes I hate to leave the house for fear of a panic attack) I'm considering (although not lightly) trying to apply for disability myself.
I'm tired of not being able to go to a movie theater, or shopping at certain stores or venues, and I know now that if I got hired at a job, I couldn't take the people. I'd have a nervous breakdown. In fact, about two months ago, I was driving through town with my mom and all of a sudden I just started crying hysterically from the depression I've been going through for years. I constantly feel trapped, or that I'm being suffocated, and I can't take it. That's why the Drive-In has been a Godsend to me. I can enjoy the movies like the rest without feeling confined or trapped. In a theater, you can't get up and go get fresh air. You've got fellow audience members, you've got a lot of money spent, your significant other to consider, etc. At least with the D.I. I can get out of the car, get the fresh air (if need be), relax and watch it as I see fit, etc. It sounds stupid, I realize, but until you actually face it, you can't fully understand it, but once you do, it's frightening, and I hope no one would have to face it. There's nothing like being trapped by your own mind.
Ironic thing is, part of the depression I have, comes from not having a job, but until I can afford help for it (which is impossible without a job) I can't get it corrected.
And people telling me to pull myself up by my bootstraps does nothing to help, just angers me because none of them (and they admit it) have never been plagued by what my parents and I suffer with every day.
So believe me, I know what you guys are feeling when you're laid off (I was fired once) it's a terrible feeling. One day you're doing fine, the bills are getting paid and you're finally feeling content because some of the worries of the day have passed, and then the next minute you're looking for a way to just put food on the table and it seems hopeless. No one's willing to take the risk, etc. Oh yeah, I know it all too well. Fortunately it just affected me, but those of you with families...God help you. I can't even begin to imagine that kind of anxiety, especially those of you with newborns or toddlers who need diapers, formula, bottles, etc.
I would hope we'll have another time in our country where we have chances like we did when Clinton was in office...things weren't perfect by any means, but at least the chances were better. Now, it just seems like an endless wave of hopelessness.
[ Click to attempt signal recovery... ]
