The Energon Pub

Happy Easter everybody.

As we all know easter celebrates the beginning of spring and the resurrection of a certain messiah.

Of course I am talking about Zombie Jesus.

Today is the day when Jesus rose from the grave, being a Zombie he sought new-found power, in the form of the Egg of Power. He demanded it and craved the egg so he could become the ruler of the world.

Luckily there were some who knew this would happen. As a precaution they blocked Jesus' grave with a rock. But they also had a back-up plan. In case Zombie Jesus got out of his prison, they commanded everybody to take as many eggs as they could and color them in dyes.

Knowing the destruction that would come if Zombie Jesus were to ever find the egg of power. The people all colored their eggs to match the Egg of Power, and hid them. Zombie Jesus searched for the egg high and lower, never finding his prize, he retreated. The Egg of Power was safe, for now.

Every year Zombie Jesus returns to search for the Egg of Power, and each year we must do what we can to protect the secret of the Egg of Power by coloring eggs and hiding them, and by feasting on small marshmallowy chicks and bunnies, as it is Zombie Jesus' weakness.

So enjoy your Easter holiday, but remember, if Zombie Jesus shows up demanding the Egg of Power, be sure to have a few colored eggs on hand to throw him off.

Again, happy Easter everyone.

I'm laughing so hard right now I'm risking a stroke or collapsed lung.

I agree with Nightwatcher! I can hardly type because I am laughing so hard. This is the post of the month

Very good Hugo. It took me a few minutes to calm down enough to type

Wow, how not funny.
Yay let's insult christianity! Damn, too bad you all sank this low.

Serious, this sh1t pisses me off.

Damn it i spat my drink all over the screen laughing

Spoon wrote:Wow, how not funny.
Yay let's insult christianity! Damn, too bad you all sank this low.

Serious, this sh1t pisses me off.

For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

Family Guy wrote:Guy in crowd: Hey, he can't say that about Jesus. We have to do something

Guy next to him: We can't stop him.

Guy in crowd: well, I guess I'll have to get a sense of humor then.

It really isn't insulting Christianity. I just whipped up a story that explains why on Easter, we color eggs and hide them. It's meant to be funny, not insulting, thats all.

Jeez, that may as well be the story of easter considering how commercial it is now. Just look at what they did to Christmas too. Dude, that's funny n stuff, but it still rings truth which is sad if ya think about it. The american populace has destroyed the big 2 Christian holidays with all that commercial sh*t.

Senor Hugo wrote:

Family Guy wrote:Guy in crowd: Hey, he can't say that about Jesus. We have to do something

Guy next to him: We can't stop him.

Guy in crowd: well, I guess I'll have to get a sense of humor then.

It really isn't insulting Christianity. I just whipped up a story that explains why on Easter, we color eggs and hide them. It's meant to be funny, not insulting, thats all.

And then we told him that rabbits lay eggs to keep him from pursuing the chickens?

And yes... ROFL.

EDIT:

Nemesis_Apoc wrote:Jeez, that may as well be the story of easter considering how commercial it is now. Just look at what they did to Christmas too. Dude, that's funny n stuff, but it still rings truth which is sad if ya think about it. The american populace has destroyed the big 2 Christian holidays with all that commercial sh*t.

Just the vicious circle. Both of the said holidays you mention derive most of their customs from Germanic and Roman fertility holidays, and one of them even gets its name from a pagan god...Ostara is such a great holiday...

That was one of the funniest things I have read in so long.

I seriously can't stop laughing

Nightwatcher wrote:For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

You can't go wrong with boobs. I just hate it when people make fun of Jesus be it intended as a joke or otherwise, it pisses me off either way.

Spoon wrote:

Nightwatcher wrote:For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

You can't go wrong with boobs. I just hate it when people make fun of Jesus be it intended as a joke or otherwise, it pisses me off either way.

And Muhammad, Buddah, and Confucius as well?

hugo you forgot to add Starburst Jelly Beans and Cadbury Creme Eggs =)(which i gotta say ever since Hershey bought Cadbury out thier Creme Eggs have tasted like crap)............ YAY FOR PRODUCT PLACEMENT!!!!

The Avatar of Man wrote:

Spoon wrote:

Nightwatcher wrote:For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

You can't go wrong with boobs. I just hate it when people make fun of Jesus be it intended as a joke or otherwise, it pisses me off either way.

And Muhammad, Buddah, and Confucius as well?

Those don't personally offend me and probally like you guys would make me laugh as well. I doubt we have all that much chinese people here for example though. While we have plenty christian ones here.

If you think about it though. there is no real way of telling the nationality, or religion of anyone on this board. One might appear to be Christian. But it could just as well be a facade. We take a risk by posting our humor and opinions online. It's a risk well worth taking don't you think? And people are bound to be insulted eventually, that's life. I doubt that any of these jokes were meant to be a serious insult, or shot at the Jesus. And they should be taken as such.

as for Jesus Rising from the dead, I have one thing to say on this matter...

HIDE THE EGGS!!!

Spoon wrote:

The Avatar of Man wrote:

Spoon wrote:

Nightwatcher wrote:For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

You can't go wrong with boobs. I just hate it when people make fun of Jesus be it intended as a joke or otherwise, it pisses me off either way.

And Muhammad, Buddah, and Confucius as well?

Those don't personally offend me and probally like you guys would make me laugh as well. I doubt we have all that much chinese people here for example though. While we have plenty christian ones here.

I'm Chinese.

Jetfire Masta wrote:

Spoon wrote:

The Avatar of Man wrote:

Spoon wrote:

Nightwatcher wrote:For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

You can't go wrong with boobs. I just hate it when people make fun of Jesus be it intended as a joke or otherwise, it pisses me off either way.

And Muhammad, Buddah, and Confucius as well?

Those don't personally offend me and probally like you guys would make me laugh as well. I doubt we have all that much chinese people here for example though. While we have plenty christian ones here.

I'm Chinese.

You're from Canada.

Either way I really think people should refrain from making jokes over relgious figures, be it Jesus, allah or buddah. Coming here on easter to see people making jokes about "zombie jesus" is not what I signed up for.
I'm not usually one that take offense about anything, so I only ask that you guys can have a little bit of respect for religion so that people here won't have to take offense to this kind of thing okay?

Spoon wrote:

Jetfire Masta wrote:

Spoon wrote:

The Avatar of Man wrote:

Spoon wrote:

Nightwatcher wrote:For someone who is good at getting other riled with bunches of boobs I'm honestly surprised you're offended at such a simple joke.

It wasn't an insult. It was a joke. You're just taking it the wrong way.

You can't go wrong with boobs. I just hate it when people make fun of Jesus be it intended as a joke or otherwise, it pisses me off either way.

And Muhammad, Buddah, and Confucius as well?

Those don't personally offend me and probally like you guys would make me laugh as well. I doubt we have all that much chinese people here for example though. While we have plenty christian ones here.

I'm Chinese.

You're from Canada.

What do you think that are no Chinese immigrents and their decendents living in Canada?