The Energon Pub

by **SentinelA** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 3:59 pm

As most of you know we do this with Transformers but I think it'd be funny with StarWars characters.(Pre Episode 6)

Vader: I am here to inspect our new Stormtroopers.

Commander: As you know Lord Vader, due to the destruction of our original Cloning facility, we had to get a new source for cloning material. (Walks up to a Stormtrooper). Remove your helmet.

Stormtrooper removes helmet to reveal....Jar Jar Binks: Yessa, Wesa gonna get dos Webels.

Vader: We are so f**cked!

by **SentinelA** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 4:07 pm

SentinelA wrote:As most of you know we do this with Transformers but I think it'd be funny with StarWars characters.(Pre Episode 6)

Vader: I am here to inspect our new Stormtroopers.

Commander: As you know Lord Vader, due to the destruction of our original Cloning facility, we had to get a new source for cloning material. (Walks up to a Stormtrooper). Remove your helmet.

Stormtrooper removes helmet to reveal....Jar Jar Binks: Yessa, Wesa gonna get dos Webels.

Vader: We are so f**cked!

The Emperor's Throne Room

Emperor Palpatine: Soon you will take your father's place by my side young Skywalker.

PHONE RINGS. PALPATINE PICKS UP: Yes what is it? What? You're kidding me? I'm being punked right? (sighs) Alright I'll get back to you.

Emperor Palpatine: Lord Vader, would you mind explaining to me why my Emperor troops are getting their asses handed to them by a bunch of furry f**cks!

Vader: Sh!t!

Luke (to Vader): Are you sure you don't want to join the good side?

by **Cobalt Prime** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 6:03 pm

Ben Kenobi: "Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy in all the galaxy. Those ignorant, racist bastards still discriminate against DROIDS!"

by **SentinelA** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:38 pm

Luke: Leia, Leia's my sister....That is so hot!

by **SentinelA** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:44 pm

Luke: I can't do it, Master.

Yoda: Much wininess I sense in you; like your father. A winy bitch he was. Yes!

by **SentinelA** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:46 pm

Darth Maul falling to his death: I can't feel my leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegs

by **SentinelA** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 6:48 pm

Count Dooku: What is thy bidding my Master?

Darth Sidious: Build me an army worthy of Mordor.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Thu Aug 20, 2009 12:16 am

Colonist: So it's a desert planet with almost no water, three-ton lizards roam the mountain ranges, and also there's rats that grow to be about 9 feet tall. The indigenous people are all psychotic and attack anything that isn't them, and ride massive elephant-like creatures who's most notable aspect is their excrement. Likewise it's home to a race of tree-foot-tall kleptomaniacs. I think we should settle here. Open a bar, have a good time.

EDIT: You know what, I changed my mind. Someone would have had to say that. Though he probably said it so it sounded like a good idea, because I doubt he wanted to get shoved out of the airlock as the colonists made a detour towards someplace worth settling on.

by **SentinelA** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 12:39 pm

Emperor: In time, you will call me Master.

Luke: For enough money I'll do it now.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:00 pm

Luke: So, I'm writing up the doctrine for the New Jedi Order. I figured I should ask if there's anything I should add, or take out.

Obi-Wan: Same as always, I think. No attachments, no marrying, all of that.

Luke: Isn't that what made my dad go insane and kill all of you?

Obi-Wan: ...yeah, you could probably leave that part out.

News Credits: 22 · by **Rodimus Prime** » Fri Aug 21, 2009 1:44 pm

This whole thread is LMFAO. :lol:

No, I have nothing funny to add.

by **SentinelA** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 8:21 pm

Seeing a Clone Wars toy inspired this:

Asoka: My Master Yoda, what big eyes you have!

Yoda: Hmm, better to see with they are!

Asoka: My Master Yoda, what big ears you have!

Yoda: Better to hear you with, hmm? Yes.

Asoka: My Master Yoda, what a big head you have!

Yoda: hee..hee..hee that's what she said!

Like Me, Grimlock! on Facebook · by **Me, Grimlock!** » Mon Aug 24, 2009 9:50 pm

Han Solo to Greedo: Go ahead. Take the first shot.

by **SentinelA** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:33 pm

Post Episode 3

Vader steps up on the holoimager. The Imperor hologram forms.

Vader: What is thy bidding, My Master.

Emperor: Are you ready Lord Vader? Ready to exact revenge on your ultimate enemy?

Vader: I am ready My Master.

Emperor: Then go to the Skywalker Ranch and destroy the one that made you out to be a whiny-ass bitch for the last three movies! Then and only then will your journey to the dark side be complete.

Vader: Is that the Skywalker Ranch in Calfornia or outside of Mos Esle?

Emperor: California.

Vader: Yes, my Master.

Emperor: Oh and would you pick me up some California cheese on the way back. I love that stuff!

Vader: Of course. Should I take Michael Bay?

Emperor: Nah, we're Sith and sadonists. Now go, destroy the Matrix.

Vader: What?

Emperor: Sorry, wrong movie.

by **SentinelA** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 3:37 pm

Luke on Hoth after escaping from the Snow creature.

Obiwan's Spirit: Luke, Luuke.

Luke: Ben?

Obiwan: Climb the steps Luke. Climb the steps of Mt. Selaya.

Luke: What?

Obiwan: Oh, sorry, wrong movie.

News Credits: 2 · by **Shadowman** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 4:40 pm

Mace Windu: Anakin, we called you here today because the Council would like you to know that you are an awful liar, and that neither you nor Senator Amidala are fooling anyone, and we'd prefer you made your relationship public rather than continuing to insult our intelligence.

by **SentinelA** » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:00 pm

Yoda: Control, control, you must learn control. Learn you must to control your premature ejaculations! Yes; Hmmmmmmmm!

by **Bloodlust** » Sun Nov 08, 2009 8:55 pm

Vader: Luke you were an accident and I don't want to be your father!

Luke: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Obi-Wan: Your father is more machine than man, twisted an evil.
Luke: So he's like a Borg?
Obi-Wan: Hmmmmmm I guess so......

Anakin/Obi Wan on Mustafar:

Anakin: OH GOD IT BURNS! IT BURNS!
Obi-Wan: Stop drop and roll man! Stop drop and roll!
Anakin: I knew I never should of played with Matches!!