The Energon Pub

Riotflea wrote:

It isn't based upon a cartoon about a bunch of teens, their inept parents, a top-secret government MIB organization, and a a bunch of people who can do magic by with their magical hacking skills, either. Yes, it was based on a silly children's cartoon with transparent social caricature characters but that doesn't mean there has to be 2 hours of puerile humor. It IS possible to be tongue-in-cheek, self-referential, and NOT resort to "this human boy wants to mate with the girl (cue Sam trying and failing to emote embaressment) hur hur hur hur" schtick.

"It's highly technological. Probably Japanese. Because the Japanese are one of the world's leading exporters of technology. See what I did there? Hur hur hur hur hur. Ironhide has a cow's head. So he's probably from the United States, because they're one of the world's leading exporters of beef. Hur hur hur hur."

Look, he said masturbation. That's a funny word. Hur hur hur. Ladiesmanwhatever is a funny screenname, hurhurhur. Oh look, he's peeing on them. Hur hur hur. Oh that Frenzy, he's so funny with his crazy little frenetic behavior, hur hur hur. Wow, he needs them to hide, but they can't, because they're so large, and they're not familiar with Earth, so they think that parking on the lawn is a good disguise, hur hur hur. That chihuahua thinks its tough, hur hur hur. Hey, he said "bitches" and is throwing out gang-signs because he learned to be black from the magical internet. That's funny! Oh, he died. ::Crying or Very sad::.

The Brady Bunch movies were funnier than this tripe. Hell, even the Mission Impossible films (as much as I dislike them) had funnier jokes.

Guess what: the original cartoon wasn't a PG-13 multimillion dollar film and it was meant to be funny TO 8 YEAR OLDS so that they'd but more toys. You're going to try and defend the endless bad jokes in this (what Bay has so proudly declared to be more than a silly toy commercial) based on THAT? Where did I say the cartoons are any better? They were great when I was in elementary school but the last time I tried watching them with my nephew I laughed because of how stupid it was, not because of the jokes. And I LIKE good slapstick and irreverent humor. There's no such thing as a serious joke, but there is a such thing as WITTY humor (as opposed to the witless variety).

Try to keep up. I'm not referring to the movie itself as a retread (though apart from the invading aliens being transforming robots everything else about the plot is 'borrowed' from some/numerous other film/films), I'm referring to the humor. American Pie 2 and Scooby Doo 2 were comedies. Tired comedies with tired jokes, in Scooby Doo's case, jokes that cgi characters didn't make any funnier.

There's like 70-80 minutes of action in Transformers. The rest is crap attempts as humor, and it's over 2 hours long.

Exactly.
All that time, that could have gone to brilliant things like character developement and such... wasted on throw-away TRASH that's been done to death.

The only thing missing was the CGI artists showing off how "special" their effects were by having a robot do something INSANELY CLEVER (that's been done by more movies / shows than I can count)... pretending to be Elvis Presley.

It's tired junk.
It's not new, clever or witty.
And there's just way too much of these ancient cliche's used.

It's like watching an hour and a half of commercials and counting every time a "stupid husband vs. sly wife" stereotype shows up.

That's not sticking to the source material.
For all it's problems, and depending on the episode, I never felt like I was actually wasting time while waiting for the robots in a G1 cartoon.

I kid you not, with no exaggeration, I WAS falling asleep by the end of the movie.
I think my exact words were, "Wow. God damn it."

This is EXACTLY how I felt after getting done wasting my life watching damn near every single attempt at humor:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=Z4k5JzcSrEg