NotEnoughKibble wrote:Autobot032 wrote:Oh no. I'm not married, just attached. (Though I was engaged once, I don't consider my current "engagement" to be real. I have my reasons for that though...)
I too would hope my spouse will be supportive of my collecting, but even if she didn't...screw that. She has her stuff, I have mine. I'm going to collect 'em. Tough tittie.
And why, pray tell, should I end my collecting if I have a spouse who isn't supportive? That's excessive, and not your place to say. (Nor is it anyone's.) Seriously, I'd love to know the reasoning behind this one.
Actually I wasn't telling you or anyone else what they should have to do, only expressing my opinion. When I said "you" or "your," I didn't mean you specifically, but you as in a hypothetical person.
But to answer your question... Wife or toys? Healthy marriage or toys? Granted, in my opinion your significant other should take your feelings into consideration and be supportive of you and your collecting if it means that much to you, but if you'd actually choose toys over your significant other you should probably take a long, hard look at whether you should really be marrying that person, and that person you for that matter. Again, I don't mean you specifically, but anyone!
No wonder the divorce rate is what it is these days...wow.
Alright, I'll admit. My tone was a tad harsh, and unnecessary.
It's not really a matter of choosing between your significant other and your collecting. (or it shouldn't be)
Here's why...
1.) When you enter into the relationship, both of you come to know the other's quirks.
2.) Both of you know what the other likes, dislikes, collects, etc.
3.) Even after all of that, you still go through the paces and become legally married, etc.
Knowing all that you know going in, going ahead and getting married anyway, then afterwards coming up with excuses and problems and issues over the collecting...it's not you making the choice. It's your spouse/significant other doing it for you.
If they had a problem with it to begin with, they should've made it extremely clear at the beginning and never backed down from it. That way the both of you can see the ugly side of each other and figure out what to do from there. Problem is, that requires logic and common sense. Neither of which is in abundance these days.
Not to mention, it gives people a reason to save up excess anger and energy and use it as a weapon to hurt each other as much as they can. (Doesn't even have to be collecting, it could be hunting, etc)
It's not the collecting that's the problem, it's the people. They don't communicate beforehand, they end up with major problems afterward.
It's as simple as this... "Look. I collect (insert here) and I'll admit, it's been a big part of my life. I have no plans of stopping it now, or anytime soon. If that's a problem for you, please tell me now. But before you answer, please realize I'd understand why you collect what you do, and I'd never ask you to stop it, just to be with me." if you can't even muster the courage to say that, and the person isn't even willing to bend a little just to compromise on something so insignificant in the big picture...then you're just not meant to be with that person.
Today it's collecting.
Tomorrow it's how you chew your food.
The next day it's that you didn't put enough gas in the tank.
Etc, etc, etc.
If there's a bone to pick, the person will find it, use it, and beat you with it until you're broken. No one needs to be with someone like that.
My one ex girlfriend didn't like my collecting, she thought it was immature, retarded (yes, her wording), etc. Yet she collected stuffed Disney dolls and their accessories, plus all the Disney movies because she grew up with it. I had no problem with it, I realized it was special to her. Yet my TransFormers were a problem for her, even though we were basically the same. I grew up with TFs, I collect them, yet she had a problem with it and didn't reciprocate the respect I gave her.
So of course I dumped her. Why would I stay with a hypocrite? Especially one with something simple as this, which could turn into something bigger, and then worse and worse and worse.
If I was married and my wife said "We're going to have to sell your collection to make the house payment, just like I had to sell off my stuff" I'd do it in a heartbeat.
I've sold off my collection before (for a woman) I got rid of my G1/G2, then I got rid of my CR/RiD collection, and ended up alone after all of that. What did I get in return for it? More than nothing.
If my wife, girlfriend, whatever wants to walk out the door because I refuse to give up my collecting (the only thing I really do, I don't go out and buy computers, cars, etc at the drop of a hat) then she isn't worth my heart or the ache she could cause.
If that's such a terrible thing, well then call me a prick and be done with it. Personally, I find it sensible. Anyone that's willing to throw you out of their life like garbage, all because you collect toys needs a serious reality check. Your husband, wife, girlfriend, etc needs to realize that there's more at stake in life, actual serious issues to contend with, and if they can't tell the difference between the two...then they're the ones who need help.
They're the ones who help bolster the Divorce numbers.
It's not rocket science. If something as insignificant as this bothers the person, everything will bother the person and you've got to move on. Even if the person doesn't like it, they can at least tolerate it if they truly, actually love you enough.
That's the problem...nobody loves enough anymore.
NOTE: Realize that I am not a perfect Christian, nor do I profess to be. I apologize if anyone's ever offended by me, I'm not perfect. Don't hold my posts and opinions against other Christians.