I'm a fan of the films, but I'm also a bit of an amateur writer...So like many of you, I'm finding faults with dialogue that either don't flow or make sense...
I direct you to this moment in Dark of the Moon:
QUE: This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!
IRONHIDE: Right!
To me, this is probably the most annoying exchange in DOTM (I know, it's not the only one and it's insignificant BUT...) because it absolutely makes no contextual sense and it sounds like Ehren rushed it at 3:00am or something thinking 'Argh! I need some robot dialogue...! Sod it, I'm finishing this page now or never...' and just shoved it in at the last/tired second.
As far as I can see, there is only one way this exchange can make sense (which means a reference to the game) and I'm imagining something like this;
IRONHIDE: Que, there's something wrong with this Second Heavy Iron upgrade! It's not even *half* the punch I need it to be!
QUE: Oh, you're just not usin' it right!
IRONHIDE: Sorry, I'll just consult the instruction manual next time...!
QUE: Oh yes, I forgot to put one in, didn't I...Anyway, look here, see this lever?
IRONHIDE: Yeah.
QUE: That's your power setting. It's only halfway down, y'see! The more power you put into each shot, the less you can fire, so that's why I set it in the middle...All you have to do is kick it down and activate the stabilizing rings inside the barrel...
IRONHIDE: How?
QUE: The switch underneath the lever...
IRONHIDE: And that makes it more accurate?
QUE: Well, it depends how good a shot you are! But you see? There's nothing wrong with it at all! This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!
IRONHIDE: Right...
Now, I don't claim to be a great writer, but it's something...! Gives a bit for character and an attempt to sound naturalistic! (Yeah, I know...Robots...But they know our languages!)
Just needed to get that off my chest!
Now, to tackle that 'we've seen that and it is not that...' line...
Que & Ironhide's Exchange
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Que & Ironhide's Exchange
Posted by Swiftknife24 Tue Dec 13, 2011 9:30 pm
Motto:
"With a blade, one gets close, personal and feels the kill."
Weapon:
Diffraction Sword
I've been compiling a scale list (largest to smallest) of the Film Transformers based on; vehicle/alternate modes (with the best dimension data possible), as many official charts I could find & most crucially, the figures I actually own & desire! If anyone would like a bit of assistance in scale or would simply like a peek at the list, do say so! ^^
(Also been working on something big; I'm a writer, so that's a clue...
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Re: Que & Ironhide's Exchange
Posted by SlyTF1 Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:12 pm
Motto:
"If my first sacrifice wasn't enough, maybe you would prefer to pay with your funky blood."
Weapon:
Sword
They summarized paragraphs of text to 2 lines in the movie. It's not that big a deal.
I Am.
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Re: Que & Ironhide's Exchange
Posted by cotss2012 Tue Dec 13, 2011 10:22 pm
Of all the half-arsed, poorly written nonsense in DotM, THAT is the exchange that bugs you the most?
I do not blame Michael Bay for crapping all over a huge part of my childhood. He just directed the scripts that were given to him. I blame Orci, Kurtzman, and Krueger, who seem completely incapable of concocting a story that even halfway makes sense.
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
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Re: Que & Ironhide's Exchange
Posted by 5150 Cruiser Tue Dec 13, 2011 11:09 pm
Motto:
"If it first you don't succeed,.. Sky diving is not for you!"
Weapon:
Double-Barreled Self-Propelled Rocket Launcher
Swiftknife24 wrote: As far as I can see, there is only one way this exchange can make sense (which means a reference to the game) and I'm imagining something like this;
IRONHIDE: Que, there's something wrong with this Second Heavy Iron upgrade! It's not even *half* the punch I need it to be!
QUE: Oh, you're just not usin' it right!
IRONHIDE: Sorry, I'll just consult the instruction manual next time...!
QUE: Oh yes, I forgot to put one in, didn't I...Anyway, look here, see this lever?
IRONHIDE: Yeah.
QUE: That's your power setting. It's only halfway down, y'see! The more power you put into each shot, the less you can fire, so that's why I set it in the middle...All you have to do is kick it down and activate the stabilizing rings inside the barrel...
IRONHIDE: How?
QUE: The switch underneath the lever...
IRONHIDE: And that makes it more accurate?
QUE: Well, it depends how good a shot you are! But you see? There's nothing wrong with it at all! This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!
IRONHIDE: Right...
Hmmm.... To be honest...Concidering the scene, those lines don't seem to really work any better. The focus of that scene wasn't about weapons. It gave Que lines to introduce himself as well as giving the FBI lady a heads up to Optimus "mood".
I can appreciate effort, but A long dialog at that moment about a weapon design would have been out of place.
Decepticons... Com in get yo ice cream!.... And then get yo ass whop'in!!
Suck my popsicle!! :p
Suck my popsicle!! :p
Shadowman wrote:I will put forth the theory that it was the internet itself trying to punch him in the face.
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Re: Que & Ironhide's Exchange
Posted by Rushie Wed Dec 14, 2011 3:09 pm
Motto:
"Eh, keep your little planet. I'll outlive it."
Weapon:
Fusion-Powered Particle Blaster
I like your new scene, I'll imagine that's what went on before we tuned in
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Re: Que & Ironhide's Exchange
Posted by Swiftknife24 Thu Dec 15, 2011 3:22 pm
Motto:
"With a blade, one gets close, personal and feels the kill."
Weapon:
Diffraction Sword
Thanks for the feedback! I know it's not important and I know the point of the scene was to help (re)intro Mearing to Optimus, but I just like the idea of catching the middle of a conversation that could be happening...And like I said, I know there are many other dialogue issues...But this particular one to me is just so cringeworthy as it stands! XD
(I'll forgive Sam's constant shouting of 'Optimus', 'Bumblebee', 'Ironhide' etc. for instance because I'm sure Danny Glover tops that in Lethal Weapon 3...I dare you to count how many times he shouts 'Riggs' during the film! Hehe)
And thank you very much. Very kind. ^^
(I'll forgive Sam's constant shouting of 'Optimus', 'Bumblebee', 'Ironhide' etc. for instance because I'm sure Danny Glover tops that in Lethal Weapon 3...I dare you to count how many times he shouts 'Riggs' during the film! Hehe)
Rushie wrote:I like your new scene, I'll imagine that's what went on before we tuned in
And thank you very much. Very kind. ^^
I've been compiling a scale list (largest to smallest) of the Film Transformers based on; vehicle/alternate modes (with the best dimension data possible), as many official charts I could find & most crucially, the figures I actually own & desire! If anyone would like a bit of assistance in scale or would simply like a peek at the list, do say so! ^^
(Also been working on something big; I'm a writer, so that's a clue...
)
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