by Grimlock the Spartan » Fri Mar 28, 2008 11:40 pm
Kup, Hot Rod, Cliffjumper, and Jazz were discussing the defences of Autobot City on Earth. Hot Rod was blabbering on about something wishing he was Optimus, when all of a sudden Kup started having a heart attack.
"Hey, lads, give me a hand here, I think I am having a heart attack!" Kup yelled.
"SO, AS I WAS SAYING..." Hot Rod continued, raising his voice above Kup's cries fo help.
By now Kup was obvoiusly in need of a medic. *cough*Ratchet*cough*
"HELP, MY HEART!!!" Kup was yelling as loud as he could, and by now he had fallen to the ground.
"SO, JAZZ, HOW ABOUT THIS WEATHER?" Cliffjumper yelled over Kups death-like sreaming.
"THIS SURE IS GOOD WEATHER, CLIFFJUMPER, ISN'T IT?" Jazz yelled back.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Kup was yelling so loud now that it was getting very hard to ignore.
"SO, HOT ROD, BY THE SOUND OF THINGS, KUP IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK...AGAIN." Jazz said, rolling his eyes.
Kup stopped screaming and lied still. He was still mumbling for help, and his limbs would spasmodicaly twitch, but otherwise he appeared dead.
"Well, I'm glad that's over." Cliffjumper said, resuming a normal tone of voice.
"Totally." Jazz concurred.
As the three Autobots started to walk away from Kup's moaning body, Springer called out, "Hey, wait up!"
Springer was about to meet up with the others when he saw Kup's body. He immediately bent over, picking up Kup's head. "Kup, are you okay?" he asked, "GUYS, I THINK KUP IS HURT!" But before the others could respond, he slipped Kup's wallet out of his back pocket. Letting Kup's head fall to the ground, he stood up, pocketing the old man's cash. "Sucker," was all he said. He then kicked Kup hard in the ribs before turning away and leaving Kup lying on the ground.
"uuuh." Was all Kup could do to protest against his mugger.
A few hours passed, and Kup still lying there on the dirt, walletless, freindless, and almost lifeless.
Suddenly Wheelie and Daniel Witwicky began to approach Kup, speeding as fast as they could. They were racing along the edge of the cliff, and Kup was in their way!
Wheelie swerved and missed Kup, but Daniel was not so kind. "Hey, Wheelie, watch me totally pwn this old freaking n00b!" Daniel swerved the exo-suit at the last minute, hitting Kup's body with full-force broadside impact. Kup went flying. Right over the cliff. "Was that not the most freaking 1337 pwn that was ever pwned?" Daniel yelled at Wheelie.
"Wheelie say bye, cause Kup went fly!" Whellie giggled in his sickening gittish rhyme-voice.
"Oh crap, Wheelie, I just killed someone!" Daniel said as realization of his actions sank in.
Wheelie and Daniel sped off in the opposite direction after vowing to never speak of this incedent again.
Meanwhile, Kup's body was falling fast.
Starscream, Skywarp, and Thundercrapper, I...I mean Thundercracker, were on a mission. Their objective was to fly low through the canyon to avoid Autobot sentries, then come from behind and mount one of their rarely successful sneak attacks. Their plan was interrupted, however, by Starscream accidentally impaling Kup's now-dead body on the end of his nose cone. Kup was by now very dead, I mean with the heart attack, the rib kick, the broadside collision, and the F-15 Eagle nose cone rammed through his abdomen.
"What the crap was that?" Starscream yelled as Kup's body slammed into his nose cone. He immediately transformed in midair to combat this surprise attacks.
When Starscream transformed, this tore Kup's body in half, his stomach and legs going one way, and his torso going another. When Starscream realized that it was a dead old guy he laughed at Kup, and spat on his way-dead body before continuing on with the mission.
THE END
epilogue
Fifteen years later Daniel and Wheelie were racing through the very same gorge. Wheelie hit a rock and flipped over, because even though he got older, he did not lose any of his gittishness. He was extremely mad at the rock, so he transformed and walked over to kick it.
"Dan come here, no need to fear." Wheelie called to Daniel.
When Daniel and Wheelie were both looking at the same thing they realized that is was not a rock at all, but rather Kup's crappy rusted head! The two burst into laughter to the point of tears.
"Give them nothing, but take from them... Everything!!!"
---King Leonidas, 480 BC