The Energon Pub

[Swiftknife24]

I'm a fan of the films, but I'm also a bit of an amateur writer...So like many of you, I'm finding faults with dialogue that either don't flow or make sense...

I direct you to this moment in Dark of the Moon:

QUE: This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!
IRONHIDE: Right!

To me, this is probably the most annoying exchange in DOTM (I know, it's not the only one and it's insignificant BUT...) because it absolutely makes no contextual sense and it sounds like Ehren rushed it at 3:00am or something thinking 'Argh! I need some robot dialogue...! Sod it, I'm finishing this page now or never...' and just shoved it in at the last/tired second.

As far as I can see, there is only one way this exchange can make sense (which means a reference to the game) and I'm imagining something like this;

IRONHIDE: Que, there's something wrong with this Second Heavy Iron upgrade! It's not even *half* the punch I need it to be!
QUE: Oh, you're just not usin' it right!
IRONHIDE: Sorry, I'll just consult the instruction manual next time...!
QUE: Oh yes, I forgot to put one in, didn't I...Anyway, look here, see this lever?
IRONHIDE: Yeah.
QUE: That's your power setting. It's only halfway down, y'see! The more power you put into each shot, the less you can fire, so that's why I set it in the middle...All you have to do is kick it down and activate the stabilizing rings inside the barrel...
IRONHIDE: How?
QUE: The switch underneath the lever...
IRONHIDE: And that makes it more accurate?
QUE: Well, it depends how good a shot you are! But you see? There's nothing wrong with it at all! This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!
IRONHIDE: Right...

Now, I don't claim to be a great writer, but it's something...! Gives a bit for character and an attempt to sound naturalistic! (Yeah, I know...Robots...But they know our languages!)

Just needed to get that off my chest!

Now, to tackle that 'we've seen that and it is not that...' line...

[SlyTF1]

They summarized paragraphs of text to 2 lines in the movie. It's not that big a deal.

[cotss2012]

Of all the half-arsed, poorly written nonsense in DotM, THAT is the exchange that bugs you the most?

[5150 Cruiser]

As far as I can see, there is only one way this exchange can make sense (which means a reference to the game) and I'm imagining something like this;

IRONHIDE: Que, there's something wrong with this Second Heavy Iron upgrade! It's not even *half* the punch I need it to be!
QUE: Oh, you're just not usin' it right!
IRONHIDE: Sorry, I'll just consult the instruction manual next time...!
QUE: Oh yes, I forgot to put one in, didn't I...Anyway, look here, see this lever?
IRONHIDE: Yeah.
QUE: That's your power setting. It's only halfway down, y'see! The more power you put into each shot, the less you can fire, so that's why I set it in the middle...All you have to do is kick it down and activate the stabilizing rings inside the barrel...
IRONHIDE: How?
QUE: The switch underneath the lever...
IRONHIDE: And that makes it more accurate?
QUE: Well, it depends how good a shot you are! But you see? There's nothing wrong with it at all! This gun is the perfect invention, Ironhide!
IRONHIDE: Right...

Hmmm.... To be honest...Concidering the scene, those lines don't seem to really work any better. The focus of that scene wasn't about weapons. It gave Que lines to introduce himself as well as giving the FBI lady a heads up to Optimus "mood".

I can appreciate effort, but A long dialog at that moment about a weapon design would have been out of place.

[Rushie]

I like your new scene, I'll imagine that's what went on before we tuned in

[Swiftknife24]

Thanks for the feedback! I know it's not important and I know the point of the scene was to help (re)intro Mearing to Optimus, but I just like the idea of catching the middle of a conversation that could be happening...And like I said, I know there are many other dialogue issues...But this particular one to me is just so cringeworthy as it stands! XD

(I'll forgive Sam's constant shouting of 'Optimus', 'Bumblebee', 'Ironhide' etc. for instance because I'm sure Danny Glover tops that in Lethal Weapon 3...I dare you to count how many times he shouts 'Riggs' during the film! Hehe)

I like your new scene, I'll imagine that's what went on before we tuned in

And thank you very much. Very kind. ^^