Heavy Metal War - The Ultimate Online Battle Between Good and Evil

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STR: 10
INT: 0
SPD: 10
END: 10
RNK: 10
CRG: 10
FRP: 10
SKL: 10
Class: Seasonal Limited Edition
Desc: Smashing Pumpkin
Smashing Pumpkin

Mission: 71%
Arena: 27%
Kills: 3973 (1.14 per day)

127 Face Hugger (L11)
Cdr: Xenos Prime
128 Raven's Claw (L11)
Cdr: victori
129 Sogmaster (L9)
Cdr: Bumblevivisector
Smashing Pumpkin
130 Flightstorm (L11)
Cdr: vintron
131 Invidia Prima (L10)
Cdr: Bad Wolf
Drag Truck


"Don't call me SQUISH"

Level 9 Decepticon

Team: The Misaligned [RDD]
Commander: Bumblevivisector
Faction: Decepticon
Level: 9
Total XP: 148,514,693xp
Weapon: Fusion Cannon
Doing: Inactive

Sogmaster's Bio

We all remember Sogmaster as Cap'n Crunch's most dangerous archnemesis, even being responsible for the good captain going "MISSING". But the horrific aftermath was hushed up by the Associated Press, leaving children largely in the dark about the end of the golden age of breakfast cereal icons.

After Cap's rescue, Sogmaster was so enraged that he was no longer content with just destroying Cap'n Crunch and his allies. Through Cookie Crook's connections he recruited most of Sugar Bear's enemies and rallied the Soggies to all-out war, an offensive which claimed the lives of OJ the Orange Cowboy, Ice Cream Jones (granted, his overloaded bike was an accident waiting to happen anyway), the O.K. Scottsman, and even the other two Cinnamon Toast Crunch bakers (no, contrary to popular theory, Wendel did not eat them). Cap'n Crunch dogged them every step of the way, but with the Guppy still in drydock, he could never really catch up until their weeklong assault on the Fruit Islands. Despite the valliant sacrifice of Crunch-bot, Sogmaster ended up assasinating not only the nation's sovereign King Yumma-Yumma, but the reclusive Fruit Brute who'd been granted assylum there for unclear reasons in the wake of the Frankenberry-purple-dye scandal.

This international incident made the world's cereal mascots realize that they were all at war, that even Smurf Villiage, Bedrock, and The Pit might not be safe due to their cereal tie-ins. So a counterattack was executed before the Sogmaster could make it out of the archipellago, thanks to Diggum the Smacks Frog's amphibious infiltration and Coco the Monkey's skill at jungle warfare. Tony the Tiger and Sugar Bear slaughtered several Soggies, but their numbers were still too great until Cap'n Crunch's french alien counterpart summoned the Freakies to provide air support.

But no matter what they threw at him, Sogmaster himself just recovered from any damage, and the cereal forces soon realized the awful truth: despite the good Cap'n's tag line, no cereal stays crunchy in milk for long, so their powers could never truly destroy him.

But just then, Lucky the Leprachaun arrived on that whale that had been stuck on the rainbow and thereby infused with the powers of all his Lucky Charms; power it used to smash a hole in the fabric of dimensional space right in the middle of Sogmaster's flagship. Sogmaster couldn't be destroyed, but Snap Crackle and Pop had triangulated the coordinates of an adjacent dimension that was cereal-based, but devoid of any sentient mascots that he could harm or draw power from. After he'd fallen through the breach, resealing it required Lucky to harness cosmic power with syzygy between the orange star and yellow moon focused through the blue diamond, which succeeded at the cost of the diamond's destruction; feedback imposed its color on the moon, leaving it blue instead and causing it to knock the star out of allignment and leave it in a "shooting" state for several years.

Breakfast would never be as epic again, but it would finally know peace.

Indeed, Sogmaster might well have been trapped in Malt-O-Space forever had George Lucas not foolishly green-lit a Star Wars cereal for Episode 2, creating a light-and-fluffy side to the force which extended even into that cartoon-forsaken dimension. Sensing the power sealed within' those delicious marshmallow jedi, Sogmaster realized that it could be used to travel between other limbo-realms; levels of subspace where pop-culture artifacts lost in time end up. Among them was a dual-end transtector that never made it into Masterforce, which he found to be compatible with his mechanical body. After months of experimentation and searching, he found a crippled aircraft carrier that had been lost in some temporal implosion, and used the transector to binary-bond with it through the...well...SOGMASTER PROCESS. (*groan*) After a few years repairing the outer hull of his new body, he was able to channel all of his remaining force-energy through the reactor and break out into real space again.

But he's not sure he's in the world he left behind, since he has yet to actually see any of his old enemies. Thus lacking purpose, he joined the Decepticons as he technically was part Cybertronian now, and like them, he had suffered an inappropriate crossover with Spider Man in the mid '80s.

Even granting that The Misaligned did need a mobile command center for Dagozoicon and the fliers to launch aquatic missions from, the rest of the team has several problems with Storm Front's decision to let this guy join. TransGoJoeBot was one thing, but at least he actually tries to follow orders; Sogmaster will just abandon their objective the moment he thinks he's found intel on the next island where Toucan Sam and his nephews are going to search for Blackbeak's treasure. The Bedrock Idol competition a few years back left him with such a deep hatred of all things related to reality TV that he'll also seek out and attack the location of the current Survivor shoot if he gets within 200 miles. He can tranform his entire carrier body into a larger version of his original, but a lot of his interior still needs work, which some of his teammates are actually happy to do because they suspect it might have originally been someone or something they knew. They just can't decide who/what: Mantessa thinks it's Majin-Zarak, Dagozoicon thinks it's the USS Nimitz, and Strike-Eagle thinks it's the SDF-2. Whichever's the case, if Sogmaster calls his new teammates his "soggies" and asks them if they're sure they never met Quisp out in space one more time, it'll likely result in a mutiny that'll see him torn out of his transtector and buried beneath Battle Creek.

And then on Halloween 2018, a transtector inversion mishap caused him to turn into a giant head that kind of looks like a Jack 'o' lantern, and he won't be able to turn back until he's eaten every limited edition Halloween cereal, so he's stuck like this at least until Monster Cereals does another run of Fruity Yummy Mummy, or something...

Oh, and here's his first near taste of revenge:

And now, the impossible:

Most points for a single barrage:

If ya' go down, go down in flames:

The only kill!


3 out of 4 kills agree:

Numbers beat levels!

I guess exploiting one weak link can win the battle:

Outnumbered 3 to 2, and no Con fatalities!


Awesome! The only 'con who outscored the 'bot!

Last one standing!

SH:#33 AND he took out 2 bots singlehandedly with just strafing!


19,506! Good thing I just upgraded his strafe:

25,658! And mere hours after Kill-Vulcan's new record!

Twin carriers beat the odds:

All 3 kills, after he was the last one standing!!!


Damn, close one:

Nothing to be too PROUD of per se, but interesting:

We beat superior levels, AND one of those X-500 guys? Ah, the medic never got in a repair job:

Strike-Eagle did the same trick at the same time; 2 medics ain't a winning combo:

He'd had a LOT of humiliating defeats lately...and then he beats Fortress Magnus 1 on 1!?!?!?!? Mostly luck, but I guess that last upgrade to his ram at level 7 paid off:

Beat 2 bots singlehanded, no real advantage in levels:

And AGAIN! Considering the level 6 was the Howlers' medic, this was unexpected:

Beat Astreopath and Perceptor singlehanded?!?

Beat Targetmaster Hot Rod and Rodimus Prime at the same time! Not bragging as much as seeing a fanfic in which they somehow went their separate ways, allowing Rodimus to retain his rightful role of Autobot leader post-2006:

Beat an 11 and a 10 singlehanded for 336,872!!!!!! Maxing out his endurance really paid off:

100% Strafing club against Riptide?

Okay, THIS time for sure:


He beat a 3, 4, and 11 (the return of Anshin) singlehanded?!?! That might just be his best mission ever:

9>9+7, and comes out with 95% health!


Cannibalism, Pumpkin Pie, and Top Of the Patch:

Sogmaster's recent battles
Inferno: Fraud Done - 15:19:19
Lumberjack match Done - 21:10:29
Inferno: Violence Done - 70:05:47
Inferno: Treason Done - 70:36:30
Bring me the head of Ultra Magnus Done - 76:32:18
Sogmaster does not currently have any arena logs available.

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Transformers Podcast: Twincast / Podcast #230 - The Search for Convoy
Twincast / Podcast #230:
"The Search for Convoy"
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Posted: Sunday, September 15th, 2019

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