The Ultimate Caption Contest
Perceptor wields a pencil
223 hilarious transmissions have been received from across the galaxy...
DedicatedGhostArt says:
All that time of me playing "Draw a Stickman Epic 2" has preparation for this very moment.
Riptidemtmte says:
"Hello. My name is Inigo Perceptor. You killed my father. Prepare to die."
Angelbot says:
Look at this glorious pencil! I have no idea how to use it because we do not have such technology on Cybertron.
Roadshadow says:
Perceptor goes overboard with drawing the perfect replica of the Mona Lisa.
Fireblader says:
Perceptor's impercination of Rolf Harris had the other autobots in stiches.
Dclone Soundwave says:
(Thinking to himself) What the Hell am I thinking?! A pencil doesn't stand a chance against Soundwave's advanced Cybertronian guns. I must be stupider than I look.
archangel_tears says:
back you fools, i'm about to create my master piece hale hale to crack. after this maybe we can snort some.
Dragonoth says:
In the year 2020, robotics is advanced enough to allow toy companies to incorporate realistic features at marketable prices. AutoFormers® Perceptor is a working, self-transforming microscope with AI that can help you with your homework!
shockwave_inoz says:
PERCEPTOR: "Charlie Brown... BEHOLD, I am the 'Pencil Pal' you've been writing to all these years!!"
PrivatePoop says:
A very confused Perceptor thought he could conquer the world with a wmd of pure anime pornography. . . .
Rainbow Starscream says:
I don't care what you say, you know why? Because mine is bigger than yours. You're just jealous!
BluStreak says:
Back off!! Don't make me stab you in the eye! Don't think I'll do it?! Just TRY ME!!
dabattousai says:
With this pencil, I can finally get back at Hasbro for making me the most useless TransFormer, by redrawing myself into the ultimate weapon muahahahahahahahahahahahaha
HardHead says:
Hither came Perceptor, the Librarian, black-haired, sullen-eyed, pencil in hand, a thief, a reaver, a slayer, with gigantic melancholies and gigantic mirth, to tread the jeweled thrones of the Earth under his steel feet.
kunesukwan says:
Perceptor after watching all the highlander t.v. shows and drinking to much energon
Nemesis Cyberplex says:
& the lab director thought the intern were breaking his pencils just as some kind of practical joke.
It was the microscope all along!!!
Road Turtle says:
Perceptor, "I have waited for you Obiwan. The circle is now complete, when I left you I was but a learner, now I am the master."
In an attempt to make Perceptor more combat ready, Wheeljack downloads Star Wars into Perceptor's CPU with d
THYFLESHCONSUMED says:
The Adventures Of An Ordinary Bot At War With The Everyday World..........
(Falling Down)
Cyros says:
Perceptor: Now in this experiment, I'm going to sneak into the Armada Autobot's base and stick this probe up the human female's butt. I probably won't survive... but alas, in the name of science!
Optimus: ...now I regret not funding W
Stormshadow says:
Perceptor: I am the aminator and if you try to attack me I will draw a gigantic wall or something nasty to deal with you.
Decepticons :nooooo!
The war ended shortly after...
snavej says:
Perceptor: Look here, Mr. White Rabbit! I am becoming increasingly infuriated by my current predicament! Please inform me of the location of the magical comestibles that enable the imbiber to alter his or her physical dimensions in a matter of moments!
snavej says:
No one could have predicted that the Decepticons could be defeated with mere stationery items.
Pierrimus says:
Perceptor: Um, yes. All I have to do is ensure his termination and you promise to give me Earth for a science project?
Unicron: Yes, it's all down in writing, just sign here.
Perceptor: I seem to have forgoten to bring a writing tool.
Unicron: (Si
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE says:
This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.
IT'S IN THE HOLE!
tiar180 says:
HotRod : get that thing out of my face
Perceptor : no ....
Kup : is that a no. 2 Penil
Perceptor : yes you can't have it HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
Powermaster Jazz says:
The new Perseptor toy comes with no accessories, but we here at Hasbro encourage you to use your imagination.
Scatterlung says:
Perceptor found life extremely difficult after the animators did away with mass shifting
1337W422102 says:
"Welcome, Kyle Katarn. Welcome to the Future... Come. Join me. You know in your heart that you'll never truly be one of them..."
snavej says:
At this point, Perceptor was wondering if dating Skullgrin had been such a good idea.
snavej says:
Perceptor still has a lot to learn about macho posturing. Next week, he'll move on to the giant stapler exercises.
snavej says:
I know you're blind but you can trust me, Doofy. Just run towards my voice and I'll catch you!
snavej says:
Without orders to the contrary, Perceptor remained on guard for the next 54 years. This was a good way of stopping his smart-ass comments for a good long while.
snavej says:
You must become one with the pencil, Perceptor-san. Only then will you be able to fight Bludgeon and win!
(Kung Fu movie joke.)
snavej says:
The American astronauts were given incredibly expensive hi-tech pens that could write in any conditions, even zero gravity. The Russian cosmonauts were given pencils, which did the same frikkin' job for only a few cents! That's what I call sma
thexfile says:
Perceptor : i hate having office duty... i'm not made for sharpening pencils...i'm to inteligent for this....grrrrrr
thexfile says:
not many of you know what hapend to perceptor when he did not apere any more in the transfromers cartoons.... whel here we have a sneak preview of one of the series he is playing in.... he was cast as the wise one in the series "the borrowers" h
thexfile says:
perceptor : optimus i do'nt want to critisize , but are you absolutely shure this thing is a rectal thermometer ??
thexfile says:
perseptor : "whel if i stik this in here i should be able to make it work "
Suzuki says:
PERCEPTOR: I smite thee, with my pencil!
BLUESTREAK: ... I don't think you quite get the concept of "Dungeons & Dragons", Perceptor old buddy ...
Thanatos Prime says:
Perceptor: Huzzah! Yah! Huwa-cha-cha!
Jazz: Turkey, put that down! You'll poke your eye out!
Perceptor: Nuh-uh! I'm awesome at this!!*trips, falls and pokes his eye out* AHHHHHHHHHHH!!
Jazz: Ratchet, he did it again....
Kevinus Prime says:
On a drunk dare, percepter scribbles a giant moustache on Trypticon.
Kevinus Prime says:
Unknown to many Transformers, Perceptor was an all star pole vaulter.
Frobman says:
Perceptor comes up with the idea of using a giant pencil in the Autobot's play of "Jackbot and the Circuit stalk", and he tells them how it'll be used.
DecepticonRedAlert says:
perceptor:behold my mighty pencil
optimus:snicKERINg
perceptor:Wat!!!!!!!
New Omen says:
Perceptor went insane trying to understand and move the giant flooting pencil. Good ol' Mirage always pulling pranks.
Insurgent says:
The next time Magnus tells me to shut up, i'll poke him in the head. that'll teach him to listen!
Archanubis says:
What you don't see is everyone running for their lives when Perceptor broke one of Metroplex's windows.
Archanubis says:
Fed up with all the poor quality of animation in the recent Transformers series, Perceptor picks up a pencil and shows the animators how its done.
Powermaster Jazz says:
Perseptor: Using this pencil I will write an elaborate and mature Transformers storyline. Armada was just ludicrous!
Bumblebee: Aww. C'mon. I thought Hot Shot was cool.
snavej says:
The high-tech solutions to the scraplet problem all failed, so Perceptor waited around in the dark, hoping to kill some scraplets with his invention, the pencil spear club.
snavej says:
Perceptor bores his enemies to death with seventeen-hour Powerpoint presentations.
snavej says:
Perceptor: Optimus, you have no idea how awful it is to have so many captions written about you. I'm going insane here.
Optimus: You're wrong, Perceptor. I know just what it's like to be heavily captioned. You can rise above it.
Pe
snavej says:
Optimus Prime (below): It's all right, Perceptor. All the nasty Igyaks are gone. You can get off that ledge now, and put the pencil down. Whatever you do, don't jump!
Perceptor jumps off the ledge and falls in the cat litter tray. He has
snavej says:
Thanks to Microsoft, all our systems are down, so it's back to pencil and paper. I wasn't sure how big to make my pencil. I hope I got it right!
SITHSCREAM says:
Perceptor silently enters the offices of Dreamworks and signs the contract confirming Micheal Bay as the Director of the new Transformers Movie. Perceptors revenge is complete after all that riddicule from his fellow Autobots.
SITHSCREAM says:
I swear if you don't include me in the new movie, I'll kill you Orci & Kurtzman!!!
SeekerInAFakeMoustache says:
Pamela didn't mind being taken down by a machete, but this was just embarrassing.
Castle74 says:
Reflector:As they say, the pn is mightier than the sword!
Starscream:But that's a pencil you dolt!
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE says:
Perceptor,"Come on you hack! I'll out think you,out fight you,and out draw you. Come on Todd McFarlane lets see if that 'M' for male on your drivers license is warrented! ARRRGGGG!"
Flashwave says:
AHHHH!!!! Not only is there him speaking the formulas, but now we're all going to be covered in paper of nothing but Scientific Laws!!!!! ALL THE WORLD IS DOOMED!!!!!
Dr. Caelus says:
For want of a sword, sunlight, or holy water, Perceptor is forced to make do.
Acelister says:
It was the night before Christmas, and all through the house...
Nothing was stirring, except Perceptor, who'd found a massive freakin' pencil in his stocking and wanted words with Santa...
Zeedust says:
They told Perceptor that "the pen is mightier than the sword" wasn't meant to be taken literally. Master of sarcasm, he intentionally chose the wrong part to not take literally.
Acelister says:
Perceptor: "Because of the humiliation's I have suffered, I am going to stick this where the sun does not shine!"
Megatron: "You don't mean...!"
Perceptor: "YES! The centre of the Earth!"
Megatron: "No! Ha
Tusko says:
A master of the art of misdirection, no one knew it was Perceptor who cut the cheese with the large novelty pencil in his hand.
A master of misdirection, he then blamed it on Bumblebee.
Death-Ray Charles says:
Perceptor: WATCH IT !!! I'll draw a mustache on a your face !!!!
Frobman says:
The only thing Perceptor did right to be a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is living in the sewers.
snavej says:
You've brought this upon yourselves! I didn't ask to be created as a nerdy microscope! All I wanted was to be a big spaceplane with super cannons. Now, you will all pay!
snavej says:
Perceptor tries to conduct the Autobot Philharmonic Orchestra but the acoustics of the large stone hall are poor. The Decepticons are annoyed and bomb the orchestra.
snavej says:
Perceptor would do whatever he could to protect his collection of Barbie, Bratz and other naff dolls.
snavej says:
Perceptor: Now, all we need is a little energon, an oversized pencil and a lot of luck.
Megatron (watching via Laserbeak): More than you imagine, Nerdimus Prime!
(TF The Movie joke.)
snavej says:
After his failed experiment, Perceptor is so small that he is bullied by Minicons and forced to defend himself.
snavej says:
This end is covered with ear wax. Perhaps I could convert the ear wax into energon, which would enable me to keep the fanboys at bay for another 10 minutes!
snavej says:
If this doesn't work, I could crush them in a slide-rule or use a computer mouse as a huge morning star weapon.
snavej says:
I'll just throw this between Groove's wheel spokes and watch that daydreamer flip end over end! I'm not to blame for this delinquency: the cause lies in an excess of scientific inquiry and a dire shortage of fembots!
Steeleye says:
Arcee: Perceptor I want you to draw me like your French girl. Wearing this. Wearing only this...
Acelister says:
Perceptor: "What do you mean 'That is not how you hold a caber'?"
Scots man: "S'not what ah sed ye greet metal beastie!"
demonslayer says:
Ready...Draw you dang vermit!
no no no no...stupid autobot ..I meant... nevermind!
Vardamir says:
Perceptor: "i wonder why they doesn't make a pencil for my size, it's barely impossible for me to write down my name!"
Prime: "it's OK perceptor, i can accept your complaint about the pencil, but if you don't mind, plea
Vampire Hunter says:
Perceptor: STAY BACK!! I HAVE A SWORD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!!
Megatron: Moron, that's a pencil...
Perceptor:What? (looks at himself) AHHH!! MAGNUS YOU'VE BEEN PLAYIMG WITH THE SHRINK RAY AGAIN HAVEN'T YOU!!!!
Megatron:
Pokejedservo says:
Percerptor: Heh sharpening pencils for Omega Supreme, this is so demeaning...
Zeedust says:
You know what they say... Look out for number one, but try not to get stabbed with a #2.
King Grimrob says:
"According to my calculations and theories.
In order for me to be reissued by Hasbro, I am going to have to find an alternate for my launching missiles. Instead this No. 2 Pencil will do nicely and its proof that I am in fact educational!"
Raiden Gundam says:
What the h3ll is this thing for? I'll use my genius brain! Hmmmmm. I think it's a target for my sholder mounted laser.
Archanubis says:
That is the absolute LAST time I let the Dinobots play with the shrink ray!
snavej says:
With a little quantum mechanics here, a pinch of fusion dynamics there, I could turn this into a phased synchion death ray! However, funds are low, so I'll wrap an oily rag around it and turn it into a flaming torch.
Thanatos Prime says:
I wonder why Optimus doesn't let me use sharp objects but gives Grimlock a sword....
wavelength says:
thank you for my ths body taraka, but there is one thing i don't like...............I'M TINY!
snavej says:
What does this say? 'Property of Predaking: hands off or else'.
[Heavy footsteps approaching.]
Oh, scrap!
snavej says:
With this mighty implement, I will make Arcee my love slave! [Manic laughter.]
CodeBlue says:
Man, Prime is going to be pissed when he sees this bulls-eye I've drawn on his back.
snavej says:
See this on the blackboard: do you understand it? No? It's very simple. Honestly, it's like talking to a brick wall with you lot!
Stormshadow says:
As perceptor looked back at his latest thoeory everyone one noticed how bas a speller he was well serves him right for writing is so dam big.
A'Arab Zaraq says:
"You know, beyond the exceedingly obvious and pertinently obtuse remark about the pen being mightier than the sword... I can't think of a thing to say."
Colinus Maximus says:
I've got to be more carefull with my guns arround that 'Sea of Transformation'.
E.P.Y.A.R.M.S. says:
Perceptor: Well deceticons, it looks like this one is........A DRAW!
Tusko says:
How does Perceptor solve the problem of constapation?
He works it out with a pencil!
(Oldy but a goodie)
snavej says:
Stay out of this, Ultra Magnus! As a scientist, I am contractually allowed to go a little crazy every six years or so. Look at sub-paragraph 45.39 if you don't believe me!
snavej says:
Perceptor's trusty HB was no match for Galvatron's $100 fountain pen with screw top.
snavej says:
My owner lost all my accessories so I'll just have to make do ... with a pencil!
snavej says:
I fear your wounds will be ... fatal.
(TF: the Movie joke - death of Optimus Prime scene.)
snavej says:
Perceptor has so much 'geek chic' that he has to beat his admirers off with a giant pencil!
snavej says:
Perceptor: Reflector, how much longer do I have to hold this pose?
Reflector: Until we have learnt the art of photography and our colleagues have done plenty of damage to your base!
Jaw Crusher says:
"Out of the night, when the full moon is bright...comes a swordsman known as Zorro..."
snavej says:
Shockwave, you think you are my superior with that logical brain, but can you outsmart a pencil in the eye? Can you?! CAN YOU?!
snavej says:
My latest re-release in Japan was just excellent. I was number 19 in the G1 reissue series. To celebrate, I will poke several people with this prop that was lying around the studio!
snavej says:
Professor Farnsworth, with your shrinking ray you have gone too far! I must strike back!
snavej says:
Perceptor gains power over the script and everyone lives happily ever after in a scientific wonderland.
DarkDranzer says:
Perceptor meets his greatest challenge...that damn Algebra question on his Senior's Exam that kept him from going to Cybertron University to become a Rocket Scientist
Acelister says:
Perceptor: "Why can't you hold it whilst you whitle it, Metroplex?"
Metroplex: "Target practice."
Perceptor: "I KNEW you can't whitle a pencil to sharpen it by throwing large blades at it!"
Ultra Magnus: "Sh
Acelister says:
Perceptor: "If you think this is big, you should see the size of my protractor!"
Acelister says:
Perceptor always had to pick up Metroplex's stationary when he dropped it...
Acelister says:
Megatron: "At last, I have triumphed over the Autobots!"
Starscream: "Megatron, look at that Autobot!"
Megatron: "He has a giant pencil! Retreat!"
Starscream: "No, I meant it was funny! Oh for the love of Primus...&
Acelister says:
Perceptor: "You're laser guns are no match for my giant pencil!"
Rumble: "... Is he... Is he right...?"
Frenzy: "Wel he is the smartest of those Autochumps..."
Rumble: "We'd best run, just to be sure...&qu
Road Turtle says:
"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."
Road Turtle says:
Perceptor, "Ah Ha! The Pen is mightier than the Sword!"
Wheeljack, "Um, Perceptor, that's a pencil..."
Perceptor, "For being one who hath no mouth, thou speakth far too much! Have at Ye!"
NOBODY LOVES WHEELIE says:
Perceptor,"There can be only one."
Russell Mulcahy,"Dear god I made one good Highlander movie, and they just will not let it die. What is this one 5. *sigh* Where's my royality check for christ sakes."
Wolfguard says:
"From hell's heart - I stab at thee! For hate's sake I spit my last breath...at thee...!"
