HMW: Frontline Vol.1 Issue 1
Reporting from Hell's Front LineThis is Kamjiin, HMW: Frontline's War Correspondant, reporting to you from the front lines of the Great War. For our amazing first issue, we took the time to sit down with one of the top soldiers in the field:
Knightbird of the War Crashers. This interview was exciting and eye-opening to say the least. I hope you all find it as enlightening as I did.
Kamjiin: First let me say thank you for taking the time for this interview,Knightbird.
Knightbird: You should be thanking me for not destroying that video camera. I'm still not convinced that you're not here to kill me. If that thing fires a laser at me, this interview and your life are over.
Kamjiin: Well, then (shuffles datatracks)...Why did you choose the Decepticon cause?
Knightbird: We are destined to rule the weak. I didn't join because I wanted to fight, I joined to prove to myself that I could fight for our cause. I didn't want to fight for the weak, for they disgust me. If the Autobots for some reason won the war over my destroyed chassis, the weak will propagate and spread out like rust. I won't allow for that to happen.
Kamjiin: What are your opinions about Megatron? Do you agree with his current methodology for prosecuting the war or would you handle things differently?
Knightbird: All hail Megatron! I will not question his methods on camera. While I may disagree with an order every now and then, I will only defy him if it goes against my honour.
Kamjiin: Can you tell us a little about the Decepticon Knights program. How does one enter? What are the entrance requirements? Could a rookie, someone like let's say...Freakshot of the freak legion enter? And exactly how arduous is the selection process?
Knightbird: A Decepticon warrior must first produce a freshly slain Autobot and a story as to how it was killed as proof that he or she has what it takes to at least attempt the training. 250 wannabes are taken in at the start of the cycle. They are gathered in the central auditorium and immediately fired upon without warning by autoguns. It isn't uncommon for 80 or more to be cut down in the chaos. Those that are left are trained by the hardest Decepticon warriors that accept no mistakes. If you miss a target, the instructor takes your head. You should see the Hall of Failures, it was very inspirational to me. I didn't want to end up like all the other femcons had. I succeeded because of that room
A Knight is trained in all forms of combat, then if they survive the week they are given a chance for special training in one of the fields (brandishes her double-blade). I chose melee. By the final exam, there are 40 left and you are paired up at random and told to fight to the death. My enemy was HeavyDuty, a gunner-trained Knight. By the time he realized I had replaced his grenades with remote mines during setup, it was too late. I pushed the button before he could draw his weapon. It was the only time I sacrificed honour for victory.
So if Freakshot wanted to enter, he could. But if he makes a single mistake, his head will end up in the latest addition to the Hall of Failures.
Kamjiin: Who do you consider your chief rival?
Knightbird: It used to be Centbot and Optimal Retaliation, but after a while they gave up on the war and left. I hear they're living on Theta 7. I could hunt them down again, but they made their choice and I honour it. Even if they're Autobots, they're fellow warriors.
Currently Aquila's been a little rust patch on my wing. I can't wait to meet her again in battle.
Kamjiin: Right now the biggest thing on most mechanoids neural nets is the Quintessons. Certain individuals, from the Autobot faction mostly, have suggested that we adopt a live and let live policy. That Cybertron is more than large enough to share. What are your thoughts on this matter?
Knightbird: That response is typical of the weak. The Quintessons are lying, cheating, spineless enemies who rely far too much on drones to do their fighting for them. They disgust me and they will be defeated.
Kamjiin: I notice that you don't spend much time in the colliseum. Do you prefer the frontlines? Or are you waiting for the completion of the new megacomplex so you can challenge your rivals directly?
Knightbird: I hone my skills on the field of battle with unknown adversaries and changing terrain. Fighting the same enemies over and over again proves to be no fun and my skills wouldn't gain anything from it. I'm here to fight a war, not fight for audience approval.
Kamjiin: What do you think of this new Binary Bonding process Decepticon engineers have recently developed? Would you ever consider submitting to the process?
Knightbird: I'm honestly appalled that many Decepticons think they can make themselves stronger by using a weaker being. By using one, I would have to first admit that I've reached the peak of my performance, and that's a long time coming.
Kamjiin: Many cybertronians say swords are relics of the past best left to the green, though I as well find them quite satisfying. Why did you decide on that path?
Knightbird: Guns make war impersonal. It's too easy to fire at an enemy when they're far away so you cannot see their face. A true warrior looks her foe in the optics before making the final strike.
Kamjiin: Many on Cybertron have suggested that Damocles be brought up before the war crimes tribunal? Others, mainly Pepperoni Prime and Brutallica, believe he should be given a pass for his terrible deeds. What do you think of this side-switching flip-flopper?
Knightbird: Who our allies are and are not are not for me to decide. If I am told to fight alongside somemech, I'll do it. If I'm told to fight against somemech, I'll do it. The only time I won't fight someone is if I've made a pact to never fight them. I've yet to make such a pact though.
Kamjiin: Most Decepticons don't care much about Damocles, either. Anything you would like to say to our readers?
Knightbird: Yeah, stop reading this and get back to fighting. Dominatrix wanted me to say something for her, but since there will be immature optics scanning this, I won't. You'll have to interview her.
Let's get some perspective on what things look like in the field right now:
Anonymous Autobot 32: It's pretty ugly here right now. The Cons wiped out my squad, but I managed to find this ruined cineplex and I've been sniping enemy troops. I just dug in and tried to stick to what Prowl told me in basic: "The Decepticons always run when things get hairy". I've had a pretty target rich enviornment for the last hour or so.
Anonymous Decepticon 14: The Autobots called a general retreat about an hour ago, we have this area pretty much under control...Say did you find out who that sniper in the cineplex was. Megatron will want to give him a medal for all those Autobrats he slagged.
In other news today: the tech market rallied for the first time since the start of the Great War. The cause...Powerlinking. Some love it some view it as an abomination. But anyway you slice it, Minicons have brought the first signs that Cybertron may yet recover from it's ongoing economic crisis.
Autobots have been the number one consumers of Minicons to date. We asked Anonymous Autobot 55 why consuption was so high: "Dey git blowed up."
According to the newsscrolls in the archives, the Decepticons are currently winning both in the field and in the pits. Why? Because we're just that fragging good. Visit your local recruiting center today, and learn more about the Decepticon Army.
Thank you for choosing HWM: Frontline. We hope you enjoyed this inaugural issue. Please join us for our next exciting issue. I'm Kamjiin, your Frontline War Correspondant, dedicated to reporting honest and accurate stories from the front lines of the Great War.
Today we'd like to close with this public service message brought to you by our proud sponsor:"Listen up you insig...insignifi...worthless scraplets. I wanna talk about hording weapons. Why does a gutless slagheap like you need a Gun in his armory when he's carryin around a freakin Megawhosis Battle Sword, anyways. So, you empties take an astrosecond and check your armories. Clean out your old junk and donate it to Soundw...I mean the Centurion Firearms Superwarehouse. They'll refurbish it, recharge it and sell it to a young protoform who may be ten times more crazzimatic than you someperiod. The life that rookie saves might just be mine."
In the next issue of HMW: Frontline. Notorious war criminal Damocles responds.
[ Click to attempt signal recovery... ]
