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Burn wrote:Don't forget because "they can do better"!
Rodimus Prime wrote:And that just gave me another idea: a movie starring Chuck Norris and directed by Michael Bay.
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
Shadowman wrote:Rodimus Prime wrote:And that just gave me another idea: a movie starring Chuck Norris and directed by Michael Bay.
Five years ago, when that was still funny, maybe. Now? Eh, find a new meme, make a movie about that.
KikXel wrote:I love all three movies but a fourth movie isn't really possible in my eyes. Every Decepticon was killed, the only way you could continue the series is by preditably bringing elements from season 3 of G1. Or you could come up with a new story but this is Michael Bay we're talking about.
At the end of the day, the last one made a billion dollars, so they won't just leave it like this. Hopefully they will go through with a fourth film but take advantage of its potential. I heard that even Peter Cullen would like to see another movie. For the time being we got Prime and Fall of Cybertron so I'm not going to run out of stuff to do.
Burn wrote:Sentinel Prime and crew departed Cybertron during the war. Who's to say Decepticons didn't do the same? Makes it very easy to introduce Jhiaxus as A032 said.
-Kanrabat- wrote:TF-fan kev777 wrote:First-Aid wrote:Okay, did anyone else notice that we all get a wonderful shot of Starscreams crotch anytime he sits in that throne? That's unnerving. Couldn't they have put n extra flap in there? It's....weird.
Its kind of like Basic Instinct, but not in a good way...
Goddammit, now I can't unsee it.
First-Aid wrote:Burn wrote:Sentinel Prime and crew departed Cybertron during the war. Who's to say Decepticons didn't do the same? Makes it very easy to introduce Jhiaxus as A032 said.
I've said it before...I think you can open up a new can of mythos by simply asking the question, "Why did the Fallen turn on the other Primes?" What if it wasn't on philisophical differences? I would submit that you can have a powerful but subtle voice whispering in his ear, turning him away from his brethren with promises of ultimate power and rule. Maybe the other Primes ignored the voice, but he was susceptible. And so he turned. And as such you can begin a story about how Unicron contacted the Fallen and swayed him with promises of power. Unicron can create new characters easily, but the conflict will be the presence of the solar needle on Earth.
SlyTF1 wrote:First-Aid wrote:Burn wrote:Sentinel Prime and crew departed Cybertron during the war. Who's to say Decepticons didn't do the same? Makes it very easy to introduce Jhiaxus as A032 said.
I've said it before...I think you can open up a new can of mythos by simply asking the question, "Why did the Fallen turn on the other Primes?" What if it wasn't on philisophical differences? I would submit that you can have a powerful but subtle voice whispering in his ear, turning him away from his brethren with promises of ultimate power and rule. Maybe the other Primes ignored the voice, but he was susceptible. And so he turned. And as such you can begin a story about how Unicron contacted the Fallen and swayed him with promises of power. Unicron can create new characters easily, but the conflict will be the presence of the solar needle on Earth.
I'm pretty sure they made that clear in ROTF. He dd it because he wanted to harvest energon from the sun and he hated humanity, so he turned on his brothers because they wouldn't let him.
-Kanrabat- wrote:TF-fan kev777 wrote:First-Aid wrote:Okay, did anyone else notice that we all get a wonderful shot of Starscreams crotch anytime he sits in that throne? That's unnerving. Couldn't they have put n extra flap in there? It's....weird.
Its kind of like Basic Instinct, but not in a good way...
Goddammit, now I can't unsee it.
First-Aid wrote:I never really saw a hatred of humanity there. Contempt, yes, but not hatred. And my question would be this: why would he want to harvets energon so desperately that he would turn against the other Primes?
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
JOP wrote:Autobot032 wrote:Michael Bay is driving a car. He's keeping it from crashing. It's hard to do that when the car is built by Orci, Kurtzman, Rogers and Kruger. They didn't give it brakes, or a steering wheel, so it's impossible for Bay to control the car. And before anyone says "Well, he shouldn't have driven the car to begin with." Well, like us, he was mislead. He was given a pat on the back and told "Enjoy!"
Your analogy is fallacious. A more accurate analogy would be: Michael Bay is in charge of a project to build a new car. Many other people contribute to the design and construction of this car; some have more responsibility, some less. All answer to Michael. Orci, Kurtzman and Kruger are responsible for the design of the engine. Unfortunately, the design they turn in is sub-par; however, it is retained. A number of people criticize Michael Bay for allowing a faulty engine to be incorporated into the vehicle; his defendants propose that the blame for the engine lays primarily with the engine designers, and not with the project manager that signed off on it.
First-Aid wrote:To be fair to Orci and Kurtzman, they have given us the gem that is Transformers: Prime,
as well as a wonderfully geeky reboot of Star Trek.
I don't blame them for ROTF, I actually hold the deadline accountable.
SlyTF1 wrote:First-Aid wrote:ROTF was bad plot-wise
How?
Rodimus Prime wrote:And that just gave me another idea: a movie starring Chuck Norris and directed by Michael Bay.
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
cotss2012 wrote:http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
Shadowman wrote:cotss2012 wrote:http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
While I do agree ROTF is a bad movie, most of the stuff he says in there is just really stupid.
So how do the Decepticons plan to get the symbols, I guess?
Well, the Decepticons have very cunningly created a hot chick robot who they enrolled in the same college and put in the same astronomy class as Sam. And they made her a huge slut.
Wait.
Waiting.
There's a slutty Decepticon?
Yeah, she's a real ho. The Decepticons apparently have an incredibly powerful slut-making program, because she has it down, man. Anyways--
Didn't Sam touch the shard and get the symbols stuck in his head on his first day of college?
Yes.
So the Decepticons made a slutty robot to attend his college and enrolled her in classes and put her in on-campus housing just in case Sam ended up being important at some point in the future?
Apparently. It was an elaborate plan, but it sure paid off.
How so?
Well, not at all. The slut-bot made out with him for a little bit then immediately tried to kill him, neither for any apparent motive or gain.
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
cotss2012 wrote:Shadowman wrote:cotss2012 wrote:http://www.toplessrobot.com/2009/06/bonus_robs_transformers_2_faqs.php
While I do agree ROTF is a bad movie, most of the stuff he says in there is just really stupid.
Oh really?
Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?
I have no **** clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.
Why is this scary? All he wanted was the Allspark, and now it's gone.
...because he has a boss! He's called the Fallen, because he's so evil! He has an evil plan to use a machine on Earth to blow up the sun and make energon! Or something! It's not very clear.
And why couldn't an Autobot translate these symbols?
Because Bumblebee is mute and the Racist Twins are poor black robots from the slums of Cybertron who never learned how to read. It's a sad commentary on Cybertronian society. Like The Wire, actually.
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
So that other mysterious reason that the Decepticons wanted Sam's brain? It's because it contains some very vague clues about the Matrix of Leacdership, which is the device that turns on the sun-exploding machine. The Fallen needs the Matrix to blow up the sun and get his Energon.
Hold on. That's what the Matrix of Leadership does in the movie?
Yes. Works the sun-exploding machine.
I'm fuzzy on how "Leadership" covers that.
I didn't name it. But it does sound a little nicer than "Matrix of Blowing Up the Goddamn Sun."
If I may continue, in order to protect the Earth, the 6-7 other Prime hid the Matrix on Earth and made a tomb with their own bodies. Isn't that cool?
...
...
No. No it is not. If they wanted to protect Earth, why did they leave the Matrix on the planet? They're a space-faring race, they could have hid it anywhere in galaxy! Second of all, what the **** does making a tomb of their own bodies do? Shouldn't they have stayed alive to protect the Matrix? Or finish off the Fallen? Or just not die and leave Earth and the entire Transformer race in jeopardy?
Uh...
And why hide the Matrix at all? Don't they need Energon to survive? Didn't they say they go to other lifeless planets? These idiot Primes just doomed their whole species for no **** reason whatsoever! No wonder the Decepticons are so pissed.
What follows is the most spectacular part of the movie, as Sam and Mikaela try to run the several miles back to the military camp during a massive Decepticon attack where the military has dropped Optimus Prime's corpse.
Why is that awesome? They could drive back in one of the Autobots and be there in a minute or two.
They don't do that.
What?
They walk.
Of course they do. And I assume the Autobots just mysteriously disappear again until a second before a Decepticon is about to kill Sam.
Yes. Exactly.
Sam dies, though.
Really?
Yeah, for a little while. But then the Transformers in heaven send him back because he still has work to do.
**** you.
I'm serious.
**** you. There's no way.
It's true. The 6-7 Primes are there in the clouds like Mufasa's head in The Lion King, and tell Sam he's awesome and he needs to live again so he can bring Optimus back to life.
Why on earth would anyone make a film about giant robots but have myriad scenes of some random douchebag's first day of college?
I don't have the faintest clue.
Why does Sam's mom buy and consume a pot brownie?
Well, Sam's mom was in a coma for the last 30+ years, which explains how she had never heard of marijuana, and why she didn't understand the consequences of eating it even after her husband specifically told her it was a pot brownie (Sam was unfortunately conceived and born during this period). A better question is why any college student in America would be selling pot brownies at an on-campus bake sale, let alone to a middle-aged woman.
A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done?
Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.
That doesn't sound "written in" at all.
Well, no actual words are used to explain it. It might be more accurate to say it "shows up sometimes."
Why would a robot need to fart, pee, or vomit? And why would it need testicles?
Michael Bay does not understand what a robot is.
What is the point of the character of Sam's college roommate, and why the **** does he stay for the entirety of the movie?
I have no clue. He's not comedy relief, because that's covered by 90% of the Transformers themselves. He technically leads the Beef to John Turturro, but surely there could have been another way to do that. Besides, Turturro just leads them to Jetfire anyways. It's all extraneous.
Why can only a Prime kill the Fallen? Why can Jetfire teleport? Why can the Fallen wave a staff and make **** fly around? Why do actual cars and Autobots get sucked into Devastator's maw, but John Turturro and that other kid can run around?
Because... because **** YOU, that's why.
If you had to pick a single scene that exemplifies Michael Bay's utter disdain for story and continuity, what would it be?
When five Decepticons sink to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve Megatron's corpse. A submarine tracks five "subjects" going down, and when they get there, one of the Decepticons is killed to give parts to Megatron. 5 -1 +1 = 5, right? No, because the sub somehow tracks "six" subjects coming up. Not only is this very basic math, this is the simplest of script errors. It could not possibly have been more than one page apart in the script. And yet Michael Bay either didn't care to notice or didn't give a ****. "Math? Math is for pussies. My movies are about **** blowing up, man."
Could you sum up the film in one line of its dialogue?
"I am standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum."
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
cotss2012 wrote:Uh, wrong. Read the whole exchange. SlyTF wanted evidence that RotF had a crappy plot. I linked to said evidence. Then Shadow decided "I didn't even finish the first page of one of the articles that you linked to, but I'm going to dismiss all of it anyway", so I cited some highlights.
I'm not trying to convince anyone to hate Bayformers, I'm just trying to convince you that they have stupid, horrible plots. There's a difference, you know. For example, The Chronicles of Riddick had a pretty lame plot, but I absolutely loved that movie anyway just because it was pure "Rule of Cool".
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
cotss2012 wrote:Uh, wrong. Read the whole exchange. SlyTF wanted evidence that RotF had a crappy plot. I linked to said evidence.
I'm just trying to convince you that they have stupid, horrible plots. There's a difference, you know. For example, The Chronicles of Riddick had a pretty lame plot, but I absolutely loved that movie anyway just because it was pure "Rule of Cool".
Wigglez wrote:Just remember. The sword is an extension of your arm. Use it as if you're going to karate chop someone with your really long sharp ass hand.
Shadowman wrote:You could have picked better articles. Like, ones where the first point doesn't express uncertainty as to which one Bumblebee is, or keeps saying they don't explain certain things that are actually well explained.
Shadowman wrote:The plot of the movie is fine.
Shadowman wrote:Jetfire, for instance, is a is a crotchety old ball of Win, and I actually really liked this incarnation of Wheelie.
Shadowman wrote:Most of the returning humans (Simmons and NEST in particular) are fine.
Burn wrote:No, you linked to an OPINIONATED article.
Answer me this truthfully. Do you understand the following sentence?
"Opinion does NOT equal fact".
RiddlerJ wrote:Each one will come with an autographed picture of Michael Bay sitting on top of a huge pile of money.
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