The Energon Pub

A) of course I missed you. Any reference to Lovecraft perks up my little ears.

B) Oh yeah? Our 'rape the taxpayers' program I'm teaching in right now was designed by our former college president. She came here, determined to make an impact, and all sorts of big changes. She's *scream* and throw things in meetings (ummm, yeah, that's professional) and would only show up for public events, like the local baseball game, where she'd get her name in the paper.

As soon as Obama got elected, she bailed. She's working for his administration now. Screaming tantrums and all. She sure livened the place up.

Our school hilarity is the cafeteria. I walked in there once last year because I desperately needed ginger ale, and two kids were, I kid you not, having *sex* on one of the cafeteria tables. Because I am a b****, I get my drink, go over to the table, and stand there watching and making comments about such a lousy performance art piece. Oh my, were they insulted. We've had a couple of fights, but as soon as you yell at them they sit down. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe they don't like crippled old ladies with 'crazy eyes' telling them to sit the f*** down and stop acting like chimps. Thankfully, this is suburbia, so I'm just about the only person anyone knows with a gun.

It might not hurt to try comm colls anyway for an adjunct position. Honestly. We're up 130% enrollment. That means we need to hire anyone who looks remotely competent to teach. (Most of them will be fired by Spring, but the ones who can handle themselves, we keep, and nurture, and love). (For non-teachers reading this, the takeaway is: make sure that your classes are taught by full time tenured faculty).

The job search sucks. I sent out over a hundred packets on mine--CV, teaching portfolio, transcripts, everything. From many, I heard nothing at all. I finally said (I actually have the journal entry) that if I don't get a job by xuch and such a date, I would simply shoot myself in the head. (That's how depressed I was). Plop, I got this job.

WIth the economy being crummy, yeah, maybe one should open up one's options, but janitor? That sounds mean spirited. I'm not saying anything against janitors--our staff is awesome and our school would grind to a halt without them. But I gather that the job wasn't sent to you in the best of spirits. If it makes you feel better, the truth is, you'd probably be turned away from most jobs as being overqualified. I got turned down from Macy's for that--they told me they figured as soon as I got a better job, I'd leave. Also got turned down (and this is a pretty low low point) as a seamstress in a shop customizing military gear. When you get turned away from a sweatshop, you suck. So tell your not-so-loving friends you'd get dinged from those jobs because you're overq'd.

HK, did you ever just want to throttle anyone who said snidely 'those who can't, teach'?

Ha ha, I keep a journal too, for which my girlfriend makes a decent amount of fun of me for. I keep telling her, hey, one of these days someone might care what movie we saw last night (Funny People, which was tragically incorrectly titled).
I was thinking about it this morning hellkitty, and I am going to fire out some info to my local community colleges. Hell, at this point in time I wouldn't be shocked or surprised at all to get rejected, so what the hell, right?
As far as the janitor thing goes, yes, it was mean spirited. I really don't want to paint myself into this Myshkin-esque (you'll get that one, I know you will....then we'll smile together) picture as like, a super-wonderful guy, but people have this tendency to really rub it in when I'm down on my luck, because they know that I'm loyal to my friends/family and when things pick up I'll let it all go. Pisses me off.
As for 'raping the taxpayers' as an educational strategy, that's the MO of Chicago public education. Let's funnel a shitton of money into this program and when it doesn't work after being touted as the saviour of the next generation we can act like nothing happened, and our teachers? Hell, they're more than happy to not really teach but spend an entire year preping for standardized testing.
Yeah, job hunting sucks, and I know I'm not the only one who's doing it, so I'm not trying to look like I'm special. Hells, I've been through this before too.

hellkitty wrote:Our school hilarity is the cafeteria. I walked in there once last year because I desperately needed ginger ale, and two kids were, I kid you not, having *sex* on one of the cafeteria tables. Because I am a b****, I get my drink, go over to the table, and stand there watching and making comments about such a lousy performance art piece. Oh my, were they insulted. We've had a couple of fights, but as soon as you yell at them they sit down. Or maybe it's just me. Maybe they don't like crippled old ladies with 'crazy eyes' telling them to sit the f*** down and stop acting like chimps. Thankfully, this is suburbia, so I'm just about the only person anyone knows with a gun.

HK, did you ever just want to throttle anyone who said snidely 'those who can't, teach'?

I don;'t know how I missed these two parts.

People who use that poopy phrase about teaching should be destroyed in the most evil of ways.

And as far as sex goes, as an undergrad I worked in the DePaul library as a shelver. Once I was walking past one of the group study rooms and saw people in it having sex, so I knocked on the door as hard as I could and then ran away giggling. They were pretty unphased, as like 16 minutes later, they just left, after finishing up, I can only assume. I didn't stay there to watch.

hellkitty wrote:If it makes you feel better, the truth is, you'd probably be turned away from most jobs as being overqualified. I got turned down from Macy's for that--they told me they figured as soon as I got a better job, I'd leave.

That's why sometimes you have to undersell yourself on your CV. I have a few friends who've had to do that to get jobs they love.

Renne wrote:

hellkitty wrote:If it makes you feel better, the truth is, you'd probably be turned away from most jobs as being overqualified. I got turned down from Macy's for that--they told me they figured as soon as I got a better job, I'd leave.

That's why sometimes you have to undersell yourself on your CV. I have a few friends who've had to do that to get jobs they love.

NOT an idea I'd recommend. I dropped a bunch of stuff from my resume when I was desperate to get a job, any job, during my divorce. I landed a job at Victoria's Secret (I KNOW! ME?!?! It's delicious to picture, isn't it?). I was fired two weeks later when a little checking around revealed to them I not only had a college degree, I had a post graduate degree and an enlistment in the Army. See, I'd *LIED* during the application process. That's apparently illegal. They apparently don't like to hire dirtbags who lie on their applications. Can't say as I blame 'em. I like people to be honest with me too. Thus ended my career selling medium-price-point knickers. On the plus side, I am now obsessive about women wearing well-fitting bras.

Dagon, hey, it's all right: I don't HAVE any friends. Benefit--no one (except my mom) telling me what a loser scumbag I am. (You guess which part of that is supposed to be funny).

Here's a semi-funny absolutely true story. During my divorce, my ex husband thought I was deliberately underemploying myself so he'd be worse off in the settlement (he really didn't get 'distribution of property'.) So, in front of the judge he actually says that I should do something, maybe, work as a stripper. The judge takes one look at me, and says, ummmm, no. The bailiff started *laughing*. Hell, *I* started laughing. (Then I realized I was the moron stupid enough to have married this pinhead.)

Applying for jobs sucks. Plain and simple. It's degrading to be reduced to a sheet of paper for someone to judge. That's any job, any field. And I've never heard of anyone who really *thrives* on that much rejection. I strongly suspect that people who work in Human Relatioons or Personnel will spend their next incarnation as ticks. Or maybe dung beetles.

HK, god save me from 'friends' who want to 'help.'

hellkitty wrote:NOT an idea I'd recommend. I dropped a bunch of stuff from my resume when I was desperate to get a job, any job, during my divorce. I landed a job at Victoria's Secret (I KNOW! ME?!?! It's delicious to picture, isn't it?). I was fired two weeks later when a little checking around revealed to them I not only had a college degree, I had a post graduate degree and an enlistment in the Army. See, I'd *LIED* during the application process. That's apparently illegal. They apparently don't like to hire dirtbags who lie on their applications.

Of course it's illegal. I never said to lie, I said to undersell yourself. There's a vast difference between doing that and lying (whether it be outright or through omission). The point of the CV is to upsell yourself. Just knock it down a few notches. Not so hard to do.

Renne wrote:
Of course it's illegal. I never said to lie, I said to undersell yourself. There's a vast difference between doing that and lying (whether it be outright or through omission). The point of the CV is to upsell yourself. Just knock it down a few notches. Not so hard to do.

Underselling myself is one thing I do phenomenally well. In fact, self-insult is probably my favorite sport. It's easy when you suck as much as I do.

It's making myself sound like a viable human being that's the trick. Much less someone people trust me with to educate their young minds.

But you already knew that.

HK, knock myself down any more notches I'll be a flatworm. Then people will eat me for my smarts.

Hey everyone, especially hellkitty,
I just wanted to apologize for being so whiney and complain-y the last week or so. Thanks everyone, and I'm sorry I've been such a buzzkill. But you know, I appreciate you guys, especially hellkitty, being there and reading.

Dagon wrote:Hey everyone, especially hellkitty,
I just wanted to apologize for being so whiney and complain-y the last week or so. Thanks everyone, and I'm sorry I've been such a buzzkill. But you know, I appreciate you guys, especially hellkitty, being there and reading.

No worries. Everyone gets a little droopy from time to time. Okay: I knew one guy who was never down. Always bouncing off the walls happy, would yell 'good morning!' to you from the other side of the quad, Mr So-Upbeat-You-Wanted-to-Punch-Him, etc. He ended up killing himself and his whole family. Now, wouldn't you rather have a few Episodes of Eeyore than do that? (I have a really horrible and inappropriate anecdote for everything).

And with the economy the way it is, I'm sure lots of people are feeling your same hurt as they also fight the depressing fight to get a job. You'd be crazy if it didn't get to you at least a little bit.

HK, meditate on *that*, grasshoppa!

Hang in there man, I know the feeling. My advice is don't let nostalgia get the best of you, keep your head up, and try to think positive. I know it's hard but it's an issue I deal with too. Don't let friends pressure you into girls, or s.hit generally gets wierd. Friends can be your enemies in some situations, and many times make you feel worse. The best advice I can give you is to talk to someone who is willing to listen, in person.

TWIST3D x M3TAL wrote:Hang in there man, I know the feeling. My advice is don't let nostalgia get the best of you, keep your head up, and try to think positive. I know it's hard but it's an issue I deal with too. Don't let friends pressure you into girls, or s.hit generally gets wierd. Friends can be your enemies in some situations, and many times make you feel worse. The best advice I can give you is to talk to someone who is willing to listen, in person.

Much appreciated. Looking back at this thread gets me all teary-eyed.

Ah, girl problems. Those were the days.

My words of wisdom? I always used to say to myself that "I need to be a ME, before I can be a WE". I don't know if I came up with that phrase or if I heard it somewhere. It was what I told people during my 20s when I just really didn't care one way or another if I was dating. I was tired of rejection and all of that. I basically took 7 years of my life to dedicate to myself. I spent a lot of that time working on Seibertron.com, hanging out with my buddies, doing stupid stuff, doing fun stuff, doing whatever. But mostly just enjoying life. Yeah, I went on the occasional dates here and there throughout that time, but dating was never my focus. My focus was on myself.

I figured if I was a complete person and happy with who I was as a person and with my own life, that a girl would come into my life. I've been in a relationship for the past 2 years, am now engaged, and we've got a beautiful little 4.5 month old daughter. We're in the process of finding a place to get married at about a year from now.

It took me a long while to find myself. But once I did, everything else seemed to fall into place. 2007 was the year for me ... I don't know if it was because I was psychologically consumed by Seibertron.com prior to that so that once the movie came out in the summer of 2007, I decided to get my own life in order. During the last part of that year, I got a new car, a new job, a new apartment, a new roommate, and started dating my soon-to-be fiancee. It was a crazy year.

Find yourself first. The rest will come naturally. Just keep telling yourself "I have to be a me, before I can be a we".

Best of luck.

Yeah, that's about the only thing I can add as well. Have your own **** together before you can build on your life. Kinda like a house having a solid foundation before you can add another level. I am 27 now, and in a much better place I was 5-6 years ago. When I was 21 a devastating event happened in my life, and it went spiraling out of control. Then, of all things, an interview with actor Eddie Murphy snapped me out of it. In the interview, I heard him say "I spent my 30s fixing all the **** I broke in my 20s." I just thought "no way do I want to spend an entire decade making up for something that didn't have to happen in the first place." So, 2 years ago in 2007, my life also turned around for the better. And not just because the movie came out. I got a lot better job, cleared out most of my debt, and fixed all parts of my life, except I am still finishing school (has to be part time) and I have yet to find that special someone. But everything else is all good, and these things will come around as well. Just have patience. It builds character. You'll be a better person for it in the end.

I'm probably a bit late to this, but I'll throw in my two cents.

Firstly, get medical help for your depression, depression isn't just a "mind" thing, it actually has roots in an actual physical issue, long story short, chemical imbalance. If your car was out of petrol you wouldn't say it was just being lazy, you'd fill her up. Same as with Depression. Plus, depression has a nasty habit of getting worse.

Second, if your moods are excessive, like when you're really happy you're absolutely elated and then you swing down to the bowels of hell on your bad days, it could be indicitive of bi-polar. There is no shame in having any sort of mental illness, its no different to having a broken leg or allergies or whatever, it can be cured with correct medical and alternative treatments. You dont' have to go this alone.

Third, depression will reach its sticky mits into every aspect of your life, especially when it comes to grades. A good diet, exercise and sleep are non-medical ways to assist with the treatment of depression, and its important to keep a normal routine. Go to bed at a particular time each night and wake up each day, even if you dont' feel sleepy because it gets your body into a rhythm and such things help assist with depression minimilsation.

Fourth, 18 is young. I'm 28 and havent' had a boyfriend. This is what pisses me off about this wretched society we dwell in, it pushes out this message that you only have worth if you have a "life partner" or if you get laid on a weekly basis. That's bullocks. YOu have worth because you are you, not because you have some tramp on your arm. Don't go seeking a relationship because you feel it will give you value, to hell with whoever says you need a girl to make you feel happy.

Fifth, if you find a girl, is it fair that you inflict your unhappiness on her? The reality is, if you're not happy with yourself, you will not be happy with a girl in the equation, all you will do is make her unhappy and she and you deserve better.

Sixth, 18 is very young, as hard as this is, stop worrying about your place in the world and a relationship. Get medical or counselling help becuase it will assist you, I cannot stress this enough! People dont' do well when they try to go it alone with a mental illness. You wouldn't try and go it alone if you had your femur poking out of your thigh?