The Energon Pub

[Exdominus]

We need special help for this one!

*Unleashes a large pack of hungry, rabid wolves.*

Huh...I can't remember why I thought this would work.

Dman that diea was dumb *walks over to one of the cloning control pnaels and activatesit* TIME TO RELEASE THE RANDYS *press a controls to release the current batch and then speeds up the cloning time to a new randy every 30 seconds*

Oh God, this is the dumbest Zergling Rush ever!

I know but one randy has a special surprise inside

[Halo]

That suprise better be delicious candy.

[Psycho Warrior]

That suprise better be delicious candy.

Or liquid awesomeness.

[Senor Hugo]

That suprise better be delicious candy.

Or liquid awesomeness.

No, they stopped making Game Fuel. That was taking a ton of gummi bears, liquefying them and adding tons of sugar.

That was liquid awesome.

But we won't know the surprise until we commit many a great acts of violence.

Think of them like the harder version of pinatas!

-Goat wheels out stacks of assorted guns and clubs from the Janitor's closet-

Violence for everyone!

[Shadowman]

WOO violence! Violence rules!

*Stabs Randy...with bullets.*

[Psycho Warrior]

WOO violence! Violence rules!

*Stabs Randy...with bullets.*

*sneaks into the closet and plants a flag*

This supply closet belongs to PW, and shall be his office and home from now one- Hey a dead prostitute!

*drags dead hooker out to the street to trade for money*

[The Happy Locust]

WOO violence! Violence rules!

*Stabs Randy...with bullets.*

*sneaks into the closet and plants a flag*

This supply closet belongs to PW, and shall be his office and home from now one- Hey a dead prostitute!

*drags dead hooker out to the street to trade for money*

*the rough pavement scrapes off the dead hooker's makeup, revealing a much less appreciated visage.*

Hey! I'm not dead. Just hung over. Don't question the outfit, I've had a rough week!

[Exdominus]

WOO violence! Violence rules!

*Stabs Randy...with bullets.*

*sneaks into the closet and plants a flag*

This supply closet belongs to PW, and shall be his office and home from now one- Hey a dead prostitute!

*drags dead hooker out to the street to trade for money*

*the rough pavement scrapes off the dead hooker's makeup, revealing a much less appreciated visage.*

Hey! I'm not dead. Just hung over. Don't question the outfit, I've had a rough week!

I pissed off the hooker turned to be locust peice of mofoing crsap time for it to die *grabs hooker locust by the throat and throws him down the elevator shaft{*

[Shadowman]

Elevator shaft? But the only empty shaft goes to...

Oh no! The Shadowman Corp. Sweatshop! If he lands there, I won't sell anything to over-privileged American kids who don't know the meaning of hard work!

I think I may only own corrupt businesses. I just noticed that.

[Exdominus]

OKay time to find the super special randy and activate surpise inside

*activates the randy tag tracker device*

Randy 1L is where

*looks at tracker*

Says humping Shadowmans Leg

*looks over at that particular randy and actyivates it's shock collar(gets shocked but 10000 volts of electricity*


Randy Down now come here

*goes over and grabs the randy by the dog colalr and drags him back to the lab to have him fixed*
Now lost I would go wash your leg Shadowman

I hear these randys carry all sorts of freakish germs

[Psycho Warrior]

Elevator shaft? But the only empty shaft goes to...

Oh no! The Shadowman Corp. Sweatshop! If he lands there, I won't sell anything to over-privileged American kids who don't know the meaning of hard work!

I think I may only own corrupt businesses. I just noticed that.

It's our corruptive aura. We project it like uranium on steroids. Just look at the girl scouts over there.

*little girls are breaking an old man's legs for being late on his cookie payments*

[Halo]

Elevator shaft? But the only empty shaft goes to...

Oh no! The Shadowman Corp. Sweatshop! If he lands there, I won't sell anything to over-privileged American kids who don't know the meaning of hard work!

I think I may only own corrupt businesses. I just noticed that.

It's our corruptive aura. We project it like uranium on steroids. Just look at the girl scouts over there.

*little girls are breaking an old man's legs for being late on his cookie payments*

Those Thin Mints will get you every time.

[Exdominus]

*Drags randy down the stairs by the leg*

Damn you disgusting peice of **** humping shadowsman's leg like that

*arrives in the lap and throws randy 1L on the examination table*

Frickin disgusting peice of garbage *straps the randy down like a psyhicartic wardf patient*

Who wants to witness a randy disection come down to the lab

[Psycho Warrior]

*Drags randy down the stairs by the leg*

Damn you disgusting peice of **** humping shadowsman's leg like that

*arrives in the lap and throws randy 1L on the examination table*

Frickin disgusting peice of garbage *straps the randy down like a psyhicartic wardf patient*

Who wants to witness a randy disection come down to the lab

I've done that too many times. Careful, Randy has a trick bladder.

[Exdominus]

*Drags randy down the stairs by the leg*

Damn you disgusting peice of **** humping shadowsman's leg like that

*arrives in the lap and throws randy 1L on the examination table*

Frickin disgusting peice of garbage *straps the randy down like a psyhicartic wardf patient*

Who wants to witness a randy disection come down to the lab

I've done that too many times. Careful, Randy has a trick bladder.

I figured there was somethign screwy with these here randy's

*cuts open the top of randys skull with a saws all and his skull cap just melts as it is made of white chocolate and I get squirted with his blood which turn out to be cherry sryup*

Well lookie here brain of a Chihuahua in a randy stupid union nanites thought they were funny

*looks at the time* Coffee break *heads to the espresso machine and makes so strong cuban coffee* Cafe Con Lecha Rules

New day back to work *throws the rnady in a meat grinder till all that is left is the egg pod*

Good much faster then diesection except it smells like a dumpster in here now

*lights off about 25 lysol bombs to clear the air*

*time to put the pod on ice or the facehugger inside will be released*
(think alein thing)

[Psycho Warrior]

*is looking out the window of the 200th floor* Wow, the people down there look like ants...

*fires a rocket launcher down into the streets*

Look at them run around. It's times like these I almost think they can feel pain like we do.

[The Happy Locust]

*is looking out the window of the 200th floor* Wow, the people down there look like ants...

*fires a rocket launcher down into the streets*

Look at them run around. It's times like these I almost think they can feel pain like we do.

*from the distant explosion comes a flying bug who still manages to smile despite being completely engulfed in flames.*

AAAAGH! CAN'T A GUY EVEN TAKE A WALK WITHOUT GETTING BLOWN UP?

*With the initial force of the explosion gone, gravity takes over and Locust begins to fall, only having enough time to hold up a wooden "yikes!" sign before falling, ironically, onto an anthill*

[Senor Hugo]

Hm, I've always wanted to do this....

-puts on a Mario costume, climbs into a go-cart and speeds through the office building, flings a blue turtle at people-

The experience is almost complete, now I just need a couple people in dresses, a monkey, two dinosaurs, and a crossdressing pink dinosaur and it would be complete.

[The Happy Locust]

Hm, I've always wanted to do this....

-puts on a Mario costume, climbs into a go-cart and speeds through the office building, flings a blue turtle at people-

The experience is almost complete, now I just need a couple people in dresses, a monkey, two dinosaurs, and a crossdressing pink dinosaur and it would be complete.

*Locust shows up wearing a pink dress, a red bow, and a dinosaur costume.*

Guess which one I call?

[Psycho Warrior]

Hm, I've always wanted to do this....

-puts on a Mario costume, climbs into a go-cart and speeds through the office building, flings a blue turtle at people-

The experience is almost complete, now I just need a couple people in dresses, a monkey, two dinosaurs, and a crossdressing pink dinosaur and it would be complete.

I resent that remark about the monkey. *beats his chest and starts throwing barrels*

[Halo]

Hm, I've always wanted to do this....

-puts on a Mario costume, climbs into a go-cart and speeds through the office building, flings a blue turtle at people-

The experience is almost complete, now I just need a couple people in dresses, a monkey, two dinosaurs, and a crossdressing pink dinosaur and it would be complete.

I resent that remark about the monkey. *beats his chest and starts throwing barrels*

Settle down and have a banana.

[Shadowman]

Hm, I've always wanted to do this....

-puts on a Mario costume, climbs into a go-cart and speeds through the office building, flings a blue turtle at people-

The experience is almost complete, now I just need a couple people in dresses, a monkey, two dinosaurs, and a crossdressing pink dinosaur and it would be complete.

*Locust shows up wearing a pink dress, a red bow, and a dinosaur costume.*

Guess which one I call?

I'll be the pet dinosa--*looks down, is wearing dress*

Man, I have got to stop drinking.

[Exdominus]

Heck with the desection of randy it died over night any way

*looks over to the table and nots a orange hovering egg has explode from randy's crotch*

OH crap the locust facebuster egg is about to hatch

*runs up the stairs and out of the lab but not before releasing his latest experiment rhonda the random girl*

hopefully those failure will get the facehugger and not me

[Shadowman]

You made...a she-Randy?!

YOU FOOL! Now they can reproduce sexually! Set aside the horrible images of a Randy and a girl version of Randy making sweet monkey love! Do you know how fast Randy's can reproduce?! They're like gerbils! We'll be overrun in minutes!

And let's not even get into the fact that they're now susceptible to evolution! Not only will the Christians get pissed off, but we'll have Randy's evolving to be our evolutionary equals and/or superiors in only a few weeks!

This is why I have the ShadowWater Worldwide Private Military Contractor. For $50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000.32, all Randy's will be dead of various things.

[Exdominus]

Plus we have another problem those locust facebusters make locust clones and they blow out a women stomach like the kids in speices 2 there growth and birth period is less then 50 seconds

*goes off to check the lab*

OH what am I going to find inside?

*looks inside the lab to fiind blood and gore everywhere and the place littered with rhonda corpses*

Oh crap this is going to take moinths to clean

*looks overto see a huddle of locust clones with sadistic grins on their faces*

I got to get these little bastards out of the lab and find the main facebuster and destroy it

*looks for the locust facebuster and notices it is attached to another rhonda's face that has not been impregnated yet*

CRAP CRAP CRAP Must kill

*grabs facebuster and throws it in the cryogenic freezer to kill it*

WHat to do with this rhonda

*throws her in the basement furnace for the office buliding*

Now let make sure this does not happen again

*looks at tanks of growing rhonda's and sets them to flush the growing childforms*

Good that should pervent another epidemic from happening and stop the randys from breeding