The Energon Pub

Up until recently my wife has been very understanding of my collecting. Maybe even too understanding; as some of you may recall from my previous thread about Plastic Crack I spend more than I myself feel comfortable with. Apparently today I crossed the line. When we went to Target I picked up Leader Class Sentinel. She was surprised to see what a large figure it was and, for the first time I recall she asked the price. I told her the price and offered to put it back on the shelf. She told me not to put it back but something in the air had changed. In the car home I apologised and she told me she knew it made me happy but that she wanted to put me on a budget. But then she asked me the armor-piercing, life changing question that every collector dreads:

"Does it ever...stop? Do they just keep coming out with new figures and you have to keep buying them?"

I had no good answer. I mumbled something about how the other guys sell off older parts of their collection.

And now I'm a little scared. I know I could and should spend less and I agree that a budget would be the best thing for me. I'm fine with spending less or selling some of my figures. But I've heard stories about rows o even separations over collections. If I wasn't collecting I don't know what else would take its place in my life.

If I were you I'd ask yourself these questions:

- What do I see in the figures? What do I like about them, and what don't I like about them?
- What kind of figures could I do without? On the opposite end, what things are to die for?

And something you could try:

- What does my wife like?

But especially:

- What is more important: my wife, or my collection?

Put short, you may need to prioritise a little. What you could do is this: look your collection over, pick the figures you like the most, study what you like about them, and apply that to your future purchases. Better yet, try and involve your wife a little. Ask her what she likes to see. I'm pretty sure she had some Barbie dolls in her life

Did you use the $10 off a leader coupon on Target.com?

I'm trying to start a new TF budget as we're looking to buy a bigger house. Would be easy enough to stick to if it weren't for all these damn 3rd Party figs!

I am glad that my wife of almost 20 years understands and supports my collecting habits..

I'm not with anyone, but I do live with my mom and she sees how much I spend on these toys, hence why I've put myself on a budget. She even knows when there's a new one within my display. She even posted on FB that her apartment is slowly being overran by TF's.

I'm going to have gaps in my collections. I use to be all about compeleting a collection, but it's just so hard and so much money doing that. So I just go after the ones I like.

I was upset at myself the other day for buying LC Ironhide. After I bought him I looked at him and was like, "I may have to take you back." Cause I screwed my money over him. But I didn't take him back, I just couldn't. Once I buy a fig I get attached to them and he was the only one I've found. So I'm having to borrow some money from a friend to just help me out. I also went over my TF budget for the month, and cause of that, I can't go TF shopping till Aug 29th.

Hmm... This happens quite a bite with all types of hobbies. Personaly, i'm luckly to have a very understanding girl friend. she never has questioned my hobby, and actually encourages it. And to some degree, it seems your wife is as well. Along with the questions Goldraabit asked, here are a few as well...

What else could you be doing with the money that is saved?
Now this will vart from person to person of course. Some people like to save, others have other prodjects around the house that they would like to get done.

Are your bills paid?
Yes, i know this is a dumb question, but when i was doing car shows, i remeber a car being repossed at a car show because their owners were more concerned with getting TV's in the head rest, or new rims than paying their car note. If your bills aren't paid (meaning, are you behind on any bills) then you need to reconcider your hobby. But..
If your cought up on everything, have a job (this is really important), then who are you harming?

Do you have the extra money?
This kinda relates back to the previous question, but even if your bills are paid, but if your penny pitching, then a budget might be in order.

All in all, whatever you do, you need to make sure that first and foremost you, are happy with the outcome. My guess is you were collecting long before you were married. If thats the case, then your wife knew what she was getting herself into. As long as bills are paid, your not penny pitching, and your not neglecting your wife, then i don't see a problem. The last thing you want to do is make some kind of comprimise, and end up resenting your wife. All thats going to do is make things worse for both of you.

My wife doesn't really understand my collecting habits, but we agreed long ago that I'd actually put a budget on it. We have 2 joint checking accounts and 2 joint savings accounts (my wife's an accountant, so I just assume she knows what she's doing by spreading our money around like this). However, in addition to that, we both have our own individual accounts and give ourselves 150 dollars "allowance" every 2 weeks (or every pay period).

That's basically my budget for TF's. If I want to hang out with friends and go to clubs, it has to come out my allowance. If I want to go to the bar and get drinks, it comes out my allowance. If I want to buy a transformer, it comes out my allowance. And the same goes for her. New purse? Her allowance. Going out with the girls? Her allowance.

Using that system, she literally can't bitch about my TF spending. It's my money and I've only dipped into the joint account ONCE in 3 years for a Transformer.

So I hate to say it, but your wife is right. There has to be a budget on "plastic crack". There are tons of toys I'd love to have (especially 3rd party toys), but I either have to save up for it, or just tell myself "screw it". Plus, my collection is so big that my wife NEVER notices if I get a new Transformer anyway.

I wish I had a $150 allowence! I told myself I can only spend 50 bucks the most for TF shopping a month. I hate being a poor Transfan.

Seeing how all your 'wives' are, makes me wonder if I ever get a boyfriend who isn't a geek would re-act to my TF addiction.

After we spoke last week, it might do you good to determine what it is exactly you want to have in your collection. A little of everything seems to be one of the classic mistakes people make because it becomes harder to manage what you have when it comes in numerous small bursts.

I mean, compared to regular Transformers, do you really love those Mighty Mugs and Kre-o toys? What would you rather have long term?

Counterpunch wrote:I mean, compared to regular Transformers, do you really love those Mighty Mugs and Kre-o toys? What would you rather have long term?

That's a big thing for me. Limiting my collecting to what I know I want for the long term. Kre-o and Mighty Mugs really don't have a place in my collection along with most PVC and statues.

I'm currently single and living at home. Since I have no bills to pay except whatever I need to invest for school stuff then I have a lot of money that's freed up for my collecting. (Thus why I've been able to buy some figures recently that a college student normally couldn't)

I still make sure I add to my savings and I don't let my checking account go below a certain number due to my collecting.

I do wonder what's going to happen when I find a girlfriend and I have to somehow tell them about a collection that takes up a room.

Counterpunch wrote:After we spoke last week, it might do you good to determine what it is exactly you want to have in your collection. A little of everything seems to be one of the classic mistakes people make because it becomes harder to manage what you have when it comes in numerous small bursts.

I mean, compared to regular Transformers, do you really love those Mighty Mugs and Kre-o toys? What would you rather have long term?

That's exactly what I've been thinking the past few weeks, well not about Mighty Mugs and Kre-o stuff since those don't appeal to me.

I'm currently trying to figure out exactly what I want to collect and going through my collection and what I want to get rid off. Currently I'm leaning towards keeping only my Classics figures and a few of the others that are special to me, like connected memories or the like.
Because simply speaking I have a few things in my collection that are actually starting to piss me the F**k off - and I really hate dusting these things.
I have also decided not to buy DOTM, apart from a few exceptions that aren't even part of the main line.

The first step for me was getting rid of my collection of Animated packaging, I don't even remember why the hell I decided to keep the packaging in the first place.

I think my problem is that I want everything TF. But know I can't. I love the mighty mugs and want all of them eventually (sp?) It's just so hard to say no.

i think there comes a time when we all introspect on why we do something, and we get a little concerned if we dont have an answer. if we cant just stop doing something that isnt necessary for survival, that should be a red flag in my opinion. I used to smoke, so i can understand what a real compulsion is like, and how hard stopping it is.

are your finances in order? i dont need to know personally, but thats something to truly consider with your partner. if TFs are a source of financial turmoil, then big problems can occur.

are there more pressing relationship matters at hand? are you shoving aside the crib so your Unicron gets the best lighting in the room? I cant say what is going on in your personal life with your wife, but they usually want kids, and seeing a grown man play with toys isnt really the most emasculating trait one could have.

if you think you might have a real problem, perhaps consulting a professional might be in order.

BUY in moderation so it doesnt look as bad .

My wife really doesn't care what I spend on my collection. Her main gripes are amount to space it takes to display and store, and my lack of dusting. If I get a lot of new stuff, she just buys a new Coach handbag.

I've never had an issue like that. Mainly because, if challenged, I say, "Which would you prefer? That I spend about $80-$150 a month on these things, or that I spend $150 a week going out and getting drunk every few nights at the local bar?"

Valandar wrote:I've never had an issue like that. Mainly because, if challenged, I say, "Which would you prefer? That I spend about $80-$150 a month on these things, or that I spend $150 a week going out and getting drunk every few nights at the local bar?"

Best counter-argument I've heard thus far. I think I may use that if my wife ever gets a hair up her ass about me spending my "allowance" on TF's.

However, I get the feeling that the problem lies with spending WAY too much on TF's; at which point I'd have to side with my wife and realize that I may have a problem. I've heard of people going on TF binges and spending like 700 or 800 a month on the figures! That's just ridiculous, and in my opinion, a waste of money. At that point you have to question if your hobby is taking over your life.

Personally, I think spending over 200 dollars a month on this hobby a bit excessive. Although, I'll be honest, there have been months where I've blown almost 400 bucks on transformers. However, that's AFTER I've budgeted my money for a few months in advance and made sure my wife and I are financially stable enough to pull such a stunt. But again, that 400 dollars IS my money from my allowance, so it's hard for her to nag about it. Sometimes she'll ask "How much have you spent on all these toys?" to which I reply "How much have you spent on all your shoes?". She'll usually shoot me an evil eye, but deep down I know it's just her way of saying "Touche'".

Starscream's Girl wrote:I wish I had a $150 allowence! I told myself I can only spend 50 bucks the most for TF shopping a month. I hate being a poor Transfan.

I'm in the same boat! My wife and I live pretty frugally and are saving for an international move. We each get $100/mo for personal spending and I divide mine 50/50 between "Transformers" and "Everything Else".

I had to do some thinking recently because it hit me that I have no where near enough money for everything I want to collect. I read your previous thread on this topic, Diem, and took someone's advice of making a Priority list and a Frivolous list. I decided on the lists by ranking the figures I wanted. It ended up looking like this:

Generations Wheeljack
The Transformers: Prime toys coming out soon
Alternity Convoy (Red)
Battle Blade Bumblebee
Animated Blurr
Deluxe DOTM Ratchet
(etc)

Prioritizing in this way was a big help. I got to decide what mattered to me and what I would use my limited resources on. My Priority List became the first two things on the list; Wheeljack is my favorite Autobot after Prime and I had to have that toy since we saw the first pictures here on Seibertron. I love TF:Prime to frickin' death and genuinely want the toys to pose together and enjoy (the best reason for collecting, for me, anyway) and because they're inexpensive and I could collect the whole line (not a good reason, but a bonus since I genuinely want all of the toys).

The Frivolous List ended up with everyone else: Battle Blade Bumblebee is cool, but I don't collect movie toys so he went further down the list. Same with Ratchet and Blurr since I got into Transformers just as Animated was leaving stores. I was drooling over pictures of the Alternity toys and realized it would take me a LOOONG time to collect that line, or even part of it, and as cool as they were I wanted to use the money I had set aside for the Prime toys and on Wheeljack. I still want an Alternity toy and Battle Blade Bumblebee, but it's not a real big deal and I don't mind waiting if I have to.

Sure, I'd like to have infinite cash and buy everything like MP-10 Prime and the Hercules and iGear's new stuff and that Leader Ironhide for the wife but it's not the reality. Ignoring that reality and overspending is going to hurt us in the long run and I won't enjoy the toys as much. I enjoy them much more when I spend money I have set aside in a legit fashion.

I really recommend making a list and ranking toys based on reasoning. When I did this I was able to think about what toys I REALLY want and know I will appreciate more and I actually enjoy my collecting much more as a result. I'm not the kind of guy with shelves full of toys I won't appreciate. If I don't want them on my desk or dresser and they can't earn their place in my small but beloved collection then I sell them on Crave.

I think you should have a talk with your wife and both explain your feelings to each other if you already haven't. Let her know this is something you're struggling with and let her know that you also understand her feelings and want to find a compromise that lets you both be happy. I think she should feel understood; you don't want this to fester and cause a problem for the both of you. Tell her how you feel, too. If one of you doesn't feel understood and doesn't feel your needs are being met then you'll likely become resentful. I feel that communication is everything in relationships.

The root of this, though, is a combination of too many Transformers you want and too little money to afford them all. The current situation isn't working, so I think you need to prioritize. Limit your new acquisitions to the essential, to what you really want. Start small for now and realize you don't need every figure.

One more idea: give each new figure 2-4 weeks before you pick it up. Make sure that you truly want it to enjoy and appreciate rather than making an impulse buy.

You said it yourself: "I spend more than I myself feel comfortable with". Either spending less, making more money, or not caring are your three options and I think spending less is the most healthy, logical, and satisfying option. I wish you all the best in making that transition

Diem wrote:"Does it ever...stop? Do they just keep coming out with new figures and you have to keep buying them?"

I had no good answer. I mumbled something about how the other guys sell off older parts of their collection.

And now I'm a little scared. I know I could and should spend less and I agree that a budget would be the best thing for me. I'm fine with spending less or selling some of my figures. But I've heard stories about rows o even separations over collections. If I wasn't collecting I don't know what else would take its place in my life.

I do think that the fact you had no answer for her question is a point of concern. As you've said, you don't know what else would take the place of collecting in your life.

I don't believe that devising a budget alone to adhere to should be a primary concern at this time. I think what you should do first and foremost is address what purpose and role exactly TF collecting serves you in your life.

If you aren't able to provide an answer as to why you collect, a large part of your collecting likely stems from compulsive behavior, which isn't a good thing, and may be connected to a desire to fill a gap in your life without fully understanding what that gap is and why it's there.

However, if you do figure out why you collect and it is a healthy component of your lifestyle then things like budgeting and determining what kinds of TF products that suit your collection best will be easier to determine.

retrothomas wrote:One more idea: give each new figure 2-4 weeks before you pick it up. Make sure that you truly want it to enjoy and appreciate rather than making an impulse buy.

Well... that has the problem of being QUITE a gamble. If I hadn't snatched up Universe 2.0 Ratchet, or the Legends G1 Minibots (Warpath, Cosmos, Brawn, etc) when I did, as an example, I would never have seen them again. As well, there have been figures I've seen in the store when broke that I never saw again.

Valandar wrote:Well... that has the problem of being QUITE a gamble. If I hadn't snatched up Universe 2.0 Ratchet, or the Legends G1 Minibots (Warpath, Cosmos, Brawn, etc) when I did, as an example, I would never have seen them again. As well, there have been figures I've seen in the store when broke that I never saw again.

That's never been my experience. I get the impression that's different depending on where you live (I'm in Connecticut, USA). It's usually much longer than 2 weeks before I manage to locate figures I know I want. All the last figures I bought (Perceptor, Jazz, Tracks, Kup, RtS Bumblebee) took me a lot of time to track down after everyone else was finding them, and two of those had to be bought online. If I was into movie toys I wouldn't have any problem but the Generations/RtS toys are always a real pain for me to track down and I know I want them by the time I find them because I've been drooling over Seibertron galleries of them for a month or two.

WolfDawg wrote:

Valandar wrote:
Personally, I think spending over 200 dollars a month on this hobby a bit excessive. Although, I'll be honest, there have been months where I've blown almost 400 bucks on transformers. However, that's AFTER I've budgeted my money for a few months in advance and made sure my wife and I are financially stable enough to pull such a stunt. But again, that 400 dollars IS my money from my allowance, so it's hard for her to nag about it. Sometimes she'll ask "How much have you spent on all these toys?" to which I reply "How much have you spent on all your shoes?". She'll usually shoot me an evil eye, but deep down I know it's just her way of saying "Touche'".

I think the money that you can comfortably spend on TF per month is directly related to what money you have coming in and what money you have going out each month. If you get $1000 a month pay, and spend $500 on rent, taxes, food, utilities, etc, then theoretically that's $500 to spend on whatever you like. If you get paid $12000 but spend $11995 on bills, housing, and the like, you're going to have to wait an get a deluxe every 2nd month.

I'm not sure I'd recommend spending every last spare dime on TFs, but I've been and done that myself at least once or twice, so can't say that it's impossible or never going to happen. I go through phases of thinking I'm spending too much on TFs from time to time. Didn't buy any for a long time. Started again last year, and have bought loads lately. Realised recently, with all these 3rd party things coming out, that I can't get everything that interests me, and I will have to budget more effectively, and whilst I've been going at it like a man possessed lately, I know I can cut out the spending if I like, at least for a while. Gone cold turkey on TFs before, but a few "oh, well this one is special" toys, and then "oh, that's on offer" and I was back into it. I am still a bit selective, but will have to watch myself.

Diem, I hope you sort something out, and please remember that you're lucky to have someone to watch out for you like that, as much as it might suck to think about it, it is always good that people who care about you can make you think about what you're doing in your life.

ive limited myself to classics and finishing off my alternities. the gap in the classics line gives me time to save and releases like alternity and fp stuff is spread out far enough that it never affects me. animated,prime,takara imports are all a pass and big purchases i save for special occasions like christmas or my birthday.

with a house to remodel and landscaping to do i cant afford to go crazy.

Starscream's Girl wrote:
Seeing how all your 'wives' are, makes me wonder if I ever get a boyfriend who isn't a geek would re-act to my TF addiction.

My husband is actually very supportive, too much so, in fact. He really doesn't care what I buy but I do care. I can't justify spending over a certain amount a month, especially when incidental expenses have a tendency to come up and we have little savings to buffer us.

I'm also out of space so now have to be very very picky what I buy. Leader IH (which I love) is on my desk taking up space I didn't have to spare but no way is he going. However, it means I won't be getting some of the other TFs I had my eye on because I spent a chunk of $$ and because he takes up more than his share of surface area.

I think of it as a fun challenge to set limits. I have to prioritize, make lists, give each toy a rating system and decide if I really want it enough to spend money and space on it. Once I decide I do, I'm usually very pleased with the choice and appreciate what I have.

Hi, my name is Michael and I'm a Transformers-holic.

I think every other month me and the missus have the same discussion. Usually it's when I try a buy the expensive ones, like the 45 to 50 range for one. Usually it's about 50 a month I spend on Transformers, not counting the 3rd party toy I get when they do come in.. But we have money going weekly into a savings, plus ALL bills are always taken care of. I do have an OCD over this, though. But i think guys just have to have hobbies- like it's in our DNA. But my wife also thinks a hobby is an addiction too. I wish I could use the touche' on my wife, but she really doesn't have anything she spends money on, except she does like to eat out a lot.