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The Talk

There is more to Transformers than movies, cartoons, comics and toys. Discuss anything else Transformers here.

Re: The Talk

Postby Dead Metal » Mon Jul 04, 2011 9:05 am

Motto: "Don't do drugs, beer's cheaper anyway!"
WolfDawg wrote:
Treetop Maximus wrote:
Diem wrote:In the car home I apologised and she told me she knew it made me happy but that she wanted to put me on a budget.


All that over a Leader Class? Maybe if you went online and purchased an MISB Fortress Maximus there would be something to complain about, but this? I'd never let any woman walk over me like that. Keep collecting. Toys are more important than marriages. Dead serious (I cannot stress this enough).


I don't think I've ever seen a post on this forum and thought to myself "God, that's dumb", but I feel like I'm thinking that right now as I read your post Treetop.

I've only been married for 1 year, but I've been in a relationship with my wife for 7 years. To say that a bunch of toys can mean more and bring you more joy than a significant other or family member is just plain wrong. Maybe some random girl you met at a bar, or maybe some fling you've only known for a few months, but a good woman is worth more than any and all transformers (or any material possession for that matter). I know that being in a relationship can be a real bitch, and I know women nag and nag (it's almost as if it's impossible to please them sometimes! Lol), but deep down, Diem's wife isn't saying what she's saying to be mean. It's because she genuinely cares, like any good woman would.

I'm just going to assume that you're either really young, have had your heart stomped on, or have never been in a serious relationship Treetop. That's the only way I can justify your ignorance.

Seriously, even my dog is more important to me than my collection.
If I was given al ultimatum I would only ask to keep a few that are really important to me and sell the rest.
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Intah-wib-buls?

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Re: The Talk

Postby retrothomas » Mon Jul 04, 2011 10:04 am

Motto: "Float like a leaf on the river of life."
WolfDawg wrote:but a good woman is worth more than any and all transformers (or any material possession for that matter).


Happy wife equals happy life :)
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Re: The Talk

Postby Treetop Maximus » Mon Jul 04, 2011 12:40 pm

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WolfDawg wrote:I don't think I've ever seen a post on this forum and thought to myself "God, that's dumb", but I feel like I'm thinking that right now as I read your post Treetop.


Glad I stood out.

WolfDawg wrote:To say that a bunch of toys can mean more and bring you more joy than a significant other or family member is just plain wrong.


When did I tell anyone Transformers are more important than family? You also seem to be quite the elitist to claim my personal beliefs are wrong.

WolfDawg wrote:but a good woman is worth more than any and all transformers (or any material possession for that matter).


To you, maybe. To me, the woman's not worth it if she's my wife, my significant other, a stranger, Lady Gaga, Kesha, or Katy Perry.

WolfDawg wrote:I know that being in a relationship can be a real bitch, and I know women nag and nag (it's almost as if it's impossible to please them sometimes! Lol)


Gee, I had no idea.

WolfDawg wrote:I'm just going to assume that you're either really young


Nineteen. Legally an adult.

WolfDawg wrote:have had your heart stomped on


None of your business.

WolfDawg wrote:or have never been in a serious relationship Treetop.


None of your business.

Treetop Maximus wrote:but my parents' divorce had a pretty huge impact on me, as does television. I'm very impressionable.


You obviously missed this explanation.

WolfDawg wrote:That's the only way I can justify your ignorance.


Ignorance? I'm thinking for myself. The U.S. has a female-dominated society. Men are at a severe disadvantage when it comes to divorce settlements. I'm not risking what makes me happy over a relationship with a questionable future.
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Re: The Talk

Postby RhA » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:20 pm

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Someone should but up the 'no troll feeding' sign.

Oh snap.
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Re: The Talk

Postby robofreak » Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:23 pm

I think we should get off this petty argument and go back on track. I really don't want to lock this thread cause of a stupid argument.

Shall we stay on track? A lot of this is good for me to keep in mind when I find somebody and have to figure out how to show them the collection.
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ItIsHim wrote:My closet is filled to the brim with plastic children's toys. For myself
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Re: The Talk

Postby alternator77 » Tue Jul 05, 2011 6:56 pm

Motto: "we choose our joys and sorrows long before we experience them"
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ultimately its about balance if your dating or married you have to balance your wants and needs TOGETHER. if your single you have to balance what you make and what you can afford. if you rent that property is not your own so space quickly becomes an issue.

bottom line whether its antique dolls my grandmother collects, barbies my wife has held onto or yet another bookshelves for our growing library its about compromise.personally for me ive learned to look at the talk as a positive not a negative.the most important thing to me is my significant other feels free to say how they feel and know i will listen. some of my best memories with my wife are when we sat down and honestly discussed issues whether its coming home to find inlaws living in our house without me knowing or a $700 pol that was dropped off on my front porch.
the talk can be a great help if we let it :D
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Re: The Talk

Postby Chupacabra Convoy » Wed Jul 06, 2011 2:17 am

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To be honest, I have had the talk, but nobody has ever really pushed on me too hard. I seemed to have lucked out recently, in the sense that I no longer have the urge to be the complete collector for a good three-four years now... but then again, thanks to the movies, we have been getting a ton of figures of the exact same characters from the movies that are in fact separate molds. I mean how many separate Movie Bumblebess molds have been made regardless of size? How many more repaints per size? At this point only the most die hard of collectors would have every transforming bumblebee from legends to the 100 dollar shelf warmers.

Right now, I am not all that interested in most Dark of the moon toys. I skipped getting new versions of Bumblebee, Starscream, Ironhide, Barricade, Ratchet, Sideswipe, Jolt, Mudflap, and Skids because quiet frankly, I feel that ROTF versions looked better, and were more accurate in most cases. All new ones look off model, and only have a new gun that doesn't make it worth while for me. I did pick up Megatron, only because it was such a radically different design from all the other ones. As for Optimus, I did get Wal-mart exclusive repaint of ROTF voyager Prime, if only because I never bought it at that size before.

I think the real test will come when there is a two-three gap without a movie, and Hasbro decides to make a ton of individual molds of different characters.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Rodimus Prime » Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:49 am

Motto: "Individual freedom above all else."
This is the first thread I read from beginning to end in a while. It was very good for me to read this stuff, just in case I ever face this problem.

My collection is only 100 strong, ranging from G1 to DotM, with everything in between. About half of it is a collection of Primes and Megatrons and Grimlocks and Hot Rods/Rodimus Primes. Mostly the rest are gifts, thus costing me no money, only space.

Though if I ever find the woman who will complete my life she will NEVER take a backseat to toys, I wouldn't let her just run roughshod over me regarding a collection I spent most of my life amassing. I am an absolute believer in quality over quantity. And quality is in the eye of the beholder.

Having just had my guts ripped out by my now-ex, I do understand Treetop and the reason why he wouldn't want to enter a relationship, especially if his parents' divorce had such an impact on him. However, these are life experiences we all have to go through, so we don't live through our parents' lives. So Treetop, don't shut yourself out from finding a great love in your life. You'll regret it forever. Every pain I have endured at the lack of consideration from all the women in my life is worth the joys and highs their kind sides have taken me to.

As for my collection, a lot of my figures are larger ones, I am into collecting mostly Leader Class sizes and Masterpieces, along with Unicron, Maximus, and Super Starscream. So I am even now looking to downsize a bit on my deluxes and even some Voyagers. I admit, sometimes I splurge. But in the last year, after finding myself constantly broke due to the latest TF purchase, I realized my lack of control and fixed it. I am not on a budget per se, I am on a piece limit. 2 TFs per month, no matter the size or price. Even this is somewhat excessive, because I feel I have picked up every TF I have felt could add to my collection, so I have been contemplating quitting collecting, with the exceptions of very appealing Masterpieces. (I want my Shockwave, Hasbro! You hear me?!) I am also in the process of going through my collection and putting stuff up for sale. (So if you are looking for something cheap, I might have it. :P )

In the end, I think it's a combination of understanding, prioritizing and self control. Understanding on both sides, and priorities and self control of the collector.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Counterpunch » Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:46 am

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Weapon: Jawbreaker Cannon
Blurrz wrote:
...that's what they all say.


No offense to anyone here, but I know everyone here is a full-time Transformers collector. Not knocking on the younger folk here, but if you haven't experienced a serious relationship than your validity in this conversation and topic is full to none - especially if it's on the side of keeping your Transformers.


100%

Blurrz is on point.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Autobot032 » Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:01 am

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"Happy Wife, Happy Life."

Bullshit.

I've been in relationships where the women demanded that I jump through hoops, basically. It wasn't enough. I even sold off my collection at one point for one woman. Still wasn't enough.

The other relationships, they didn't like it, but I didn't care. I learned my lesson. But, no matter how much I didn't care what they thought, I still worked hard in every other aspect to make the relationship work. When they did fail, I asked if it was my collecting. All of them laughed at me and some even said "Oh no, I got used to that. I love your parents, sweet people. I just don't love you. I tried, but it ain't happenin'."

Seeing what kind of people they were/are, there's no chance I'd give up my collection for any one of them.

My current girlfriend, of 6 years, fully supports me and accepts it. She knew it going in and hasn't asked me to change. I even got her hooked on collecting Mr. Potato Head. Her first? Optimash Prime.

I told her about this discussion we're having and she said "No. Don't knuckle under. Be reasonable and try to compromise, but don't cave and give up a part of what makes you, you." I've said that before myself, and this is one of the reasons she and I have worked.

Some significant others are not worth it. As long as they knew beforehand, and you pay your bills, and you make time and certain compromises, there shouldn't be a reason to gie up what makes you happy.

If they love you, they don't care.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Counterpunch » Wed Jul 06, 2011 8:24 am

Motto: "Everything I do is divinely sanctioned."
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Autobot032 wrote:If they love you, they don't care.


Nearly entirely true...

They should care some. This hobby is really quite unhealthy in many ways. My wife is 100% supportive and even involved, but I sill count on her to be the one to say, "You've been buying a lot lately, are things ok?" Essentially, if anyone can say to me, "That's too much." It's her.

The difference is that once that trust is established, they're allowed to point out when you've gone too far for your own benefit.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Autobot Strider » Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:04 pm

Motto: "Fortune favors the bold!"
Weapon: Railgun
Autobot032 wrote:If they love you, they don't care.


Amen! (well sort of... they should care in a positive way.)

As I said before, I have a pretty small collection, and it doesn't get displayed all at once, so my Wife isn't bothered by it. However, MP Prime and Skywarp have a prominent place on our office desk, despite her dislike of it. She tolerates them being there because she understands that they mean something to me and therefore they mean something to her too.

If anything were ever to break us up, I have no fear that she would try to take some of my toys just to spite me; I didn't marry that kind of woman. If my house were burning down, my TFs would not be in the short list of things to save, despite how much I enjoy them. For me, it's all about balance; my TFs are important to me, but I have other, more important things too.

If it were to become an issue with my Wife in one area, I would think that would be "space". If my TFs took up tons of space either stored away or on display that could/should be used for other things, she would probably have a problem with that. So, by keeping the collection manageable, and only displaying a few at a time, we've reached a compromise that keeps us both happy.

In the end, it all comes down to what works best for you and your partner. No other person here can or should judge your situation because we ultimately have no idea of what really drives you, and what is truly important to you. When a guy I work with was cheated on, he and his Wife eventually reconciled, despite his friends and other co-workers calling him an idiot for taking her back. Some of you might think, in his situation, he was an idiot too... but all that really matters is that it is between him and his wife; whatever works best for them is no one else's business.
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Re: The Talk

Postby MightyMagnus78 » Wed Jul 06, 2011 7:08 pm

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I honestly think you're lucky, your wife seems to have been very tolerant, understanding, and supportive thus far.

My wife on the other hand can't stand my collecting and doesn't really understand. Its really frustrating, because my two great loves are so apposed to each other, seemingly with no compromise.

The majority of my collection is still kept at my Mums (about four hours away by car), now I will stress that, that is mainly because we haven't got enough storage space here at our house, but also because my wife really can't stand having them in the house.

As for the 'talk', well that just breaks down in argument, so I just don't bother now.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Autobot032 » Wed Jul 06, 2011 10:57 pm

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Autobot Strider wrote:
Autobot032 wrote:If they love you, they don't care.


Amen! (well sort of... they should care in a positive way.)

As I said before, I have a pretty small collection, and it doesn't get displayed all at once, so my Wife isn't bothered by it. However, MP Prime and Skywarp have a prominent place on our office desk, despite her dislike of it. She tolerates them being there because she understands that they mean something to me and therefore they mean something to her too.


I'm sorry, but I must disagree. Tolerating something still doesn't make it easy. She's barely keeping herself from becoming physically ill, by the sounds of it.

And they mean nothing to her but a source of contention.

I'm sorry, I fail to see her side of the issue. I really do.

MightyMagnus78 wrote:I honestly think you're lucky, your wife seems to have been very tolerant, understanding, and supportive thus far.

My wife on the other hand can't stand my collecting and doesn't really understand. Its really frustrating, because my two great loves are so apposed to each other, seemingly with no compromise.

The majority of my collection is still kept at my Mums (about four hours away by car), now I will stress that, that is mainly because we haven't got enough storage space here at our house, but also because my wife really can't stand having them in the house.

As for the 'talk', well that just breaks down in argument, so I just don't bother now.


Your collection is sitting in tubs over 4 hours away. She can't can't deal with your collection, and yet you have to deal with things like her PMS,(what man doesn't?) plus whatever other personality quirks she might have.

You pay your bills, you keep bringing food to the table, a roof over each others heads, etc, etc.

She can have all of her gaudy baubles, shoes, clothes, etc. You can't really say much, because? "Happy wife, happy life!"

Again, I say BULLSHIT.

As long as she's not forced to live in a separate room, as long as it doesn't cut into her dough, as long as it doesn't impede your lives (and I'm quite sure it doesn't), then she has no right to take away your happiness. What about happy husband, happy life?

I'm sorry if I've come across as offensive, I swear that wasn't my intention.

You stay with her because you love her, regardless. Well, that works both ways.

I've been in a long standing relationship for 6 years now, I've seen her at her worst and her best, and she loves me for me, and I for her. She doesn't try to change me, I don't try to change her.

Learn from my mistake. If these bother her so much, then there's something wrong. And the problem lies with her.

If you can't discuss it, then she's unwilling to compromise.

Sounds to me like she's a tad embarassed.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Treetop Maximus » Wed Jul 06, 2011 11:17 pm

Motto: "At least the opening was good."
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Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:
Autobot032 wrote:If they love you, they don't care.


Amen! (well sort of... they should care in a positive way.)

As I said before, I have a pretty small collection, and it doesn't get displayed all at once, so my Wife isn't bothered by it. However, MP Prime and Skywarp have a prominent place on our office desk, despite her dislike of it. She tolerates them being there because she understands that they mean something to me and therefore they mean something to her too.


I'm sorry, but I must disagree. Tolerating something still doesn't make it easy. She's barely keeping herself from becoming physically ill, by the sounds of it.

And they mean nothing to her but a source of contention.

I'm sorry, I fail to see her side of the issue. I really do.

MightyMagnus78 wrote:I honestly think you're lucky, your wife seems to have been very tolerant, understanding, and supportive thus far.

My wife on the other hand can't stand my collecting and doesn't really understand. Its really frustrating, because my two great loves are so apposed to each other, seemingly with no compromise.

The majority of my collection is still kept at my Mums (about four hours away by car), now I will stress that, that is mainly because we haven't got enough storage space here at our house, but also because my wife really can't stand having them in the house.

As for the 'talk', well that just breaks down in argument, so I just don't bother now.


Your collection is sitting in tubs over 4 hours away. She can't can't deal with your collection, and yet you have to deal with things like her PMS,(what man doesn't?) plus whatever other personality quirks she might have.

You pay your bills, you keep bringing food to the table, a roof over each others heads, etc, etc.

She can have all of her gaudy baubles, shoes, clothes, etc. You can't really say much, because? "Happy wife, happy life!"

Again, I say BULLSHIT.

As long as she's not forced to live in a separate room, as long as it doesn't cut into her dough, as long as it doesn't impede your lives (and I'm quite sure it doesn't), then she has no right to take away your happiness. What about happy husband, happy life?

I'm sorry if I've come across as offensive, I swear that wasn't my intention.

You stay with her because you love her, regardless. Well, that works both ways.

I've been in a long standing relationship for 6 years now, I've seen her at her worst and her best, and she loves me for me, and I for her. She doesn't try to change me, I don't try to change her.

Learn from my mistake. If these bother her so much, then there's something wrong. And the problem lies with her.

If you can't discuss it, then she's unwilling to compromise.

Sounds to me like she's a tad embarassed.


You the man now, dawg. It's nice to see a man who hasn't had his balls cut off by this feminist society.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Autobot Strider » Thu Jul 07, 2011 6:17 am

Motto: "Fortune favors the bold!"
Weapon: Railgun
Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:
Autobot032 wrote:If they love you, they don't care.


Amen! (well sort of... they should care in a positive way.)

As I said before, I have a pretty small collection, and it doesn't get displayed all at once, so my Wife isn't bothered by it. However, MP Prime and Skywarp have a prominent place on our office desk, despite her dislike of it. She tolerates them being there because she understands that they mean something to me and therefore they mean something to her too.


I'm sorry, but I must disagree. Tolerating something still doesn't make it easy. She's barely keeping herself from becoming physically ill, by the sounds of it.

And they mean nothing to her but a source of contention.

I'm sorry, I fail to see her side of the issue. I really do.


@Autobot32:

Hmmm... interpreting much? I don't think I used any verbage to indicate she was in any state near to becoming physically ill. That is a complete invention on your part because you have ZERO idea what my relationship with my wife is like, and unless you live in my house, you never will.

Perhaps I shouldn't have used the word 'tolerate'. I didn't mean to imply that she can barely function because I have some toys, which is not at all the case but apparantely, in 'Jerry Springer-ish' fashion, it's the conclusion that you jumped to because it would get the best audience reaction. You really fail to see the other side of the issue? So what if your wife was as passionate about shoes (and I'm not talking expensive, designer ones either) as you are about TFs? So much so that they were taking up tons of closet space and costing you money that could be going to more important things, like your mortgage... you would be completely fine with that, because it's her passion? I know I sure as hell wouldn't, and would ask her to reign in her spending. Would that make me a bad husband? No, it would make me an equal partner in a relationship that has equal say in where the money goes, and what goes where in our house. I'm not saying that I would ban her from every buying shoes again, but if it was out of control then I would feel like I had the right to let her know; just as if my spending (be it on TFs, Video games, Cars... whatever - the hobby is irrelevant) was creating a problem. If you can't discuss as adults what bothers you to your partner, then you are just sitting on a relationship powder keg, IMHO.

@Treetop Maximus:
Your self-righteous anti-feminisit "grow some balls" attitude is complete bullshit. As I said in the end of my post, You have no right to judge what is right or wrong for any other couple, because you have zero understanding of the dynamic between that couple. If you had some bad experiences, then I feel for you, I really do... but don't try and pound a circle into a square hole... because you'll just end up looking ignorant.

I'm not trying to start any crap here... but if you guys feel the need to go around questioning everyone else's balls, then that is just so very sad to me.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Moonbase2 » Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:49 am

I'm pretty lucky in that my husband and I share a lot of interests (we both enjoy our Mass Effect crap) but also make space for each other's "wants". My husband doesn't really collect anything in large numbers, but he wants his cigs and whiskey. As long as we can afford it and it's not being abused, go for it. I collect stuff, but it's always within what's affordable.

As for TF toys, I stopped collecting because I was beginning to blow more money than I would consider reasonable for our budget and my then very small children tended to mess them up (I didn't have a good display built out of reach). I can see issues rising when one spouse has NO interest in TFs or other collectables and begins to openly resent it...I could see myself being hurt if I felt hostility towards something I love a lot from a person I was trying to live with. I guess I would attempt a compromise to where I have a display, storage, and rotate my toys out. There's no way I would just snuff out an interest a big as this is for some.

BTW, this is not necessarily applicable to anyone here. Just throwing it out there as how I'd feel if my spouse disapproved of a collection, no matter if I could afford it.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Autobot032 » Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:02 am

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Autobot Strider wrote:@Autobot32:

Hmmm... interpreting much? I don't think I used any verbage to indicate she was in any state near to becoming physically ill. That is a complete invention on your part because you have ZERO idea what my relationship with my wife is like, and unless you live in my house, you never will.


I hit a nerve, my sincerest apologies. That was completely unintentional. Tolerance doesn't always have a positive ring to it. That's the mindset I was coming from.

Autobot Strider wrote:Perhaps I shouldn't have used the word 'tolerate'. I didn't mean to imply that she can barely function because I have some toys, which is not at all the case but apparantely, in 'Jerry Springer-ish' fashion, it's the conclusion that you jumped to because it would get the best audience reaction.


Okay, you're beginning to carry this a bit too far. You didn't mean to imply, yet you did. Nothing in my post was even remotely "Jerry Springer-ish" as you put it.

Not once did I say she could barely function because of their existence in your home, either.

YOU are making leaps of grand size that would make Evel Kineval jealous.

Part of this little bit here is because you felt personally offended by my comments towards your situation, and because of that, I'll let this rather rude post slide, but I most certainly didn't appreciate it. It was unnecessary. And you know it.

Autobot Strider wrote:You really fail to see the other side of the issue? So what if your wife was as passionate about shoes (and I'm not talking expensive, designer ones either) as you are about TFs? So much so that they were taking up tons of closet space and costing you money that could be going to more important things, like your mortgage... you would be completely fine with that, because it's her passion? I know I sure as hell wouldn't, and would ask her to reign in her spending.


Yes, I do fail to see her argument. She tolerates TWO Masterpiece figures on display? Tolerates? Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? They're two action figures, not the end of the world.

And oh good. You assumed. You know what happens when you assume, here's the catch though, nothing was made out of me in this instance. This time, it's all you.

Never once did I say that a collection should be more important than the bills. In fact, I said to another poster that if there's roof over their heads, food on the table, clothing on their backs, etc (this includes the bills), first...then I see no problem with spending on a hobby. I didn't specify to which degree, because each person has their own ability/comfort level when it comes to money. In no way, not once did I say anything of the sort that you're implying or assuming.

Now, you ARE going too far, and far worse than my original comment was. Congratulations, you've succeeded in angering me. Good job.

Autobot Strider wrote:Would that make me a bad husband? No, it would make me an equal partner in a relationship that has equal say in where the money goes, and what goes where in our house. I'm not saying that I would ban her from every buying shoes again, but if it was out of control then I would feel like I had the right to let her know; just as if my spending (be it on TFs, Video games, Cars... whatever - the hobby is irrelevant) was creating a problem. If you can't discuss as adults what bothers you to your partner, then you are just sitting on a relationship powder keg, IMHO.


No one said you'd be a bad husband, no one said you were. No one said your wife was a bad wife (which is where you were going with this, ultimately. Nice try, but no dice.) No one made a derogatory comment of that nature, most certainly not to your wife.

And I agree that you must be able to discuss it. Others have posted stating that they can't even have the talk without it destabilizing into something awful.

But that conversation has to work in favor of both parties. A relationship cannot make it unless it's 50/50. That doesn't mean money, that means emotional investment, love. Once you have that covered, the rest can be dealt with as it comes.

There's nothing wrong with me saying that. Sorry you disagree, but oh well.

Autobot Strider wrote:@Treetop Maximus:
Your self-righteous anti-feminisit "grow some balls" attitude is complete bullshit. As I said in the end of my post, You have no right to judge what is right or wrong for any other couple, because you have zero understanding of the dynamic between that couple. If you had some bad experiences, then I feel for you, I really do... but don't try and pound a circle into a square hole... because you'll just end up looking ignorant.


I cannot speak for TM. However, I can honestly tell you that I do not agree with anti-feminism. Not at all. Women and men are created equal. If a man and a woman are doing the exact same job, they should be paid the same. I know they're not. It should be fought tooth and nail. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Women deserve to be treated fairly and as an equal because they are just that. I want to make that clear. I also want to make it clear that I didn't respond to his comment. I felt no need to. I was completely indifferent to it. I was neither con, nor pro.

Autobot Strider wrote:I'm not trying to start any crap here... but if you guys feel the need to go around questioning everyone else's balls, then that is just so very sad to me.


Alright. NOW, I *AM* PISSED. You ARE trying to start crap, so cut the lies like that one, NOW. Don't you dare, DON'T YOU DARE say "you guys". I do not share his sentiment, I don't deserve to be labeled along with him. TM is his own person, and I am my own person. He applauded what I said, I made no response. I didn't agree, I didn't disagree, I just let it be. Indifferent. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have no need, want, desire or find any joy in going around questioning the manhood of my fellow posters. Again, I can't speak for TM, so I won't, but I can tell you again and again, that I do not feel a need to bust someone here, in the balls.

What's truly sad to me? My post struck a nerve, and it really shouldn't have, but it did, and I apologized, and yet you attack me. You label me. You impugn my character with these comments. HOW DARE YOU.

My previous post probably wasn't the most tactful, probably should've approached it from a different angle, but I didn't, and I apologized. Both in that post and in this one. With that in mind, there was no need, NO NEED for your post to be so despicable.

You jumped to conclusions, you assumed, you got angry with me, yet you said "I didn't mean to imply that she can barely function because I have some toys", and you expected no one to take notice of that? You didn't mean to, but you most certainly opened the door to a response.

I don't know what your problem is, but I've already apologized, and you've offended me far beyond what is necessary. You DO owe me an apology. I hope, somewhere deep down the gentleman in you will read these words and make you do it.

You went way too far. Way too far.
NOTE: Realize that I am not a perfect Christian, nor do I profess to be. I apologize if anyone's ever offended by me, I'm not perfect. Don't hold my posts and opinions against other Christians.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Counterpunch » Thu Jul 07, 2011 1:47 pm

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Must not at last all threads be swallowed up in death?
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Re: The Talk

Postby Razorclaw0000 » Thu Jul 07, 2011 2:21 pm

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I am NOT he!"
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Counterpunch wrote:Must not at last all threads be swallowed up in death?


I see what you did there.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Flux Convoy » Thu Jul 07, 2011 7:35 pm

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Counterpunch wrote:
Autobot032 wrote:If they love you, they don't care.


Nearly entirely true...

They should care some. This hobby is really quite unhealthy in many ways. My wife is 100% supportive and even involved, but I sill count on her to be the one to say, "You've been buying a lot lately, are things ok?" Essentially, if anyone can say to me, "That's too much." It's her.

The difference is that once that trust is established, they're allowed to point out when you've gone too far for your own benefit.

This is what a partnership is. You've met my girl, she does the same. Although she worries about my necessities and needs far less than I do. If I feel like I screwed up, I point out my own mistake. Usually it is an accidental screw up and handled promptly. Sometimes she'll question why something might be so high. I explain truthfully and weigh what she's thinking. Sometimes we agree that something can wait. She also supports what I do and has attended the past three Botcons with me even though it isn't what she's into. She goes for the friends we've made. She surprised me in Orlando with the Buster Prime/Jetfire combo pack I'd been eyeballing. Lately we've been picking up a couple little TF figures of things she thinks are cute. I love helping her decide on something. Even if it only happens a couple times a year, that's fun for me. Hell, she supports my hobbies so much more than I can hers. I try though. We work. :)
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Re: The Talk

Postby Treetop Maximus » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:11 pm

Motto: "At least the opening was good."
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Autobot Strider wrote:If you had some bad experiences, then I feel for you, I really do... but don't try and pound a circle into a square hole... because you'll just end up looking ignorant.


I don't need your pathetic sympathy!
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Re: The Talk

Postby Autobot Strider » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:35 pm

Motto: "Fortune favors the bold!"
Weapon: Railgun
Let me preface this by saying that I'm sorry for the bluntness and beligerence of my post. There is no good excuse, but writing it first thing in the morning in a rush on the way to work was a dumb idea... I wrote from emotion rather than reason, instead of letting it digest for a few hours, then responding. I've already apologized directly to Autobot32, and I do not wish to derail this thread any further, but there are some things I would like to comment on.

Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:@Autobot32:

Hmmm... interpreting much? I don't think I used any verbage to indicate she was in any state near to becoming physically ill. That is a complete invention on your part because you have ZERO idea what my relationship with my wife is like, and unless you live in my house, you never will.


I hit a nerve, my sincerest apologies. That was completely unintentional. Tolerance doesn't always have a positive ring to it. That's the mindset I was coming from.


You're right, the word "tolerance" is a loaded one, and not a word I should have used. However, I do feel that you made a major assumption when you posted:

Autobot032 wrote:I'm sorry, but I must disagree. Tolerating something still doesn't make it easy. She's barely keeping herself from becoming physically ill, by the sounds of it.


In no way did I imply any discomfort - that's the part that pissed me off. But again, tolerance was a crappy word, so that's what started it I'm sure.

Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:Perhaps I shouldn't have used the word 'tolerate'. I didn't mean to imply that she can barely function because I have some toys, which is not at all the case but apparantely, in 'Jerry Springer-ish' fashion, it's the conclusion that you jumped to because it would get the best audience reaction.


Okay, you're beginning to carry this a bit too far. You didn't mean to imply, yet you did. Nothing in my post was even remotely "Jerry Springer-ish" as you put it.

Not once did I say she could barely function because of their existence in your home, either.

YOU are making leaps of grand size that would make Evel Kineval jealous.


I didn't mean to imply, and I did not imply. You took the word "tolerate" and ran with it. Again, loaded word, poor choice. But to me, it did seem like you leapt upon that word to imply things that were not true. You said "barely keeping herself from becoming physically ill" - that to me was interpreted as unable to function. Sorry if I misunderstood what you meant, but that was certainly how it seemed to me.

Autobot032 wrote:Part of this little bit here is because you felt personally offended by my comments towards your situation, and because of that, I'll let this rather rude post slide, but I most certainly didn't appreciate it. It was unnecessary. And you know it.


It was unnecessary. At the time I felt it was, but I was overly confrontational, in response to your characterization of my situation. That's one thing that really ticks me off, when people assume they know more about your life than you do... and that's the vibe I got from your comments. Again, if that wasn't what you meant, then I am sorry.

Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:You really fail to see the other side of the issue? So what if your wife was as passionate about shoes (and I'm not talking expensive, designer ones either) as you are about TFs? So much so that they were taking up tons of closet space and costing you money that could be going to more important things, like your mortgage... you would be completely fine with that, because it's her passion? I know I sure as hell wouldn't, and would ask her to reign in her spending.


Yes, I do fail to see her argument. She tolerates TWO Masterpiece figures on display? Tolerates? Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? They're two action figures, not the end of the world.


Again, dumb word to use. My bad.

Autobot032 wrote:And oh good. You assumed. You know what happens when you assume, here's the catch though, nothing was made out of me in this instance. This time, it's all you.


You also assumed, that by tolerate I meant something akin to physical illness... so I guess we're both wrong there.

Autobot032 wrote:Never once did I say that a collection should be more important than the bills. In fact, I said to another poster that if there's roof over their heads, food on the table, clothing on their backs, etc (this includes the bills), first...then I see no problem with spending on a hobby. I didn't specify to which degree, because each person has their own ability/comfort level when it comes to money. In no way, not once did I say anything of the sort that you're implying or assuming.

Now, you ARE going too far, and far worse than my original comment was. Congratulations, you've succeeded in angering me. Good job.


For what it's worth, not my intention. However, I was overly antagonistic, and had no right to say that.

Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:Would that make me a bad husband? No, it would make me an equal partner in a relationship that has equal say in where the money goes, and what goes where in our house. I'm not saying that I would ban her from every buying shoes again, but if it was out of control then I would feel like I had the right to let her know; just as if my spending (be it on TFs, Video games, Cars... whatever - the hobby is irrelevant) was creating a problem. If you can't discuss as adults what bothers you to your partner, then you are just sitting on a relationship powder keg, IMHO.


No one said you'd be a bad husband, no one said you were. No one said your wife was a bad wife (which is where you were going with this, ultimately. Nice try, but no dice.) No one made a derogatory comment of that nature, most certainly not to your wife.


I'm not sure what you mean there... I wasn't trying to imply that anyone said I was a bad husband, or my wife a bad wife; I was just trying to point out that several posters have villanized the partner for being critical of the collector - when they themselves might see it in a different light if the situation was reversed (i.e. a wife with too many shoes, to take a somewhat sexist (I admit) sterotype.)

Autobot032 wrote:And I agree that you must be able to discuss it. Others have posted stating that they can't even have the talk without it destabilizing into something awful.

But that conversation has to work in favor of both parties. A relationship cannot make it unless it's 50/50. That doesn't mean money, that means emotional investment, love. Once you have that covered, the rest can be dealt with as it comes.

There's nothing wrong with me saying that. Sorry you disagree, but oh well.


I don't disagree... but I see how you got where you are with that. I should have been much more clear in stating how I saw this issue, but instead I made it a bit of an offhand comment and threw "tolerance" into the mix, which greatly skewed what I wrote.

Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:@Treetop Maximus:
Your self-righteous anti-feminisit "grow some balls" attitude is complete bullshit. As I said in the end of my post, You have no right to judge what is right or wrong for any other couple, because you have zero understanding of the dynamic between that couple. If you had some bad experiences, then I feel for you, I really do... but don't try and pound a circle into a square hole... because you'll just end up looking ignorant.


I cannot speak for TM. However, I can honestly tell you that I do not agree with anti-feminism. Not at all. Women and men are created equal. If a man and a woman are doing the exact same job, they should be paid the same. I know they're not. It should be fought tooth and nail. That's just the tip of the iceberg. Women deserve to be treated fairly and as an equal because they are just that. I want to make that clear. I also want to make it clear that I didn't respond to his comment. I felt no need to. I was completely indifferent to it. I was neither con, nor pro.


I didn't mean to imply that you were anti-feminist. TM's posts in this thread ticked me off, so that was more directed at him.

Autobot032 wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:I'm not trying to start any crap here... but if you guys feel the need to go around questioning everyone else's balls, then that is just so very sad to me.


Alright. NOW, I *AM* PISSED. You ARE trying to start crap, so cut the lies like that one, NOW. Don't you dare, DON'T YOU DARE say "you guys". I do not share his sentiment, I don't deserve to be labeled along with him. TM is his own person, and I am my own person. He applauded what I said, I made no response. I didn't agree, I didn't disagree, I just let it be. Indifferent. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less.

I have no need, want, desire or find any joy in going around questioning the manhood of my fellow posters. Again, I can't speak for TM, so I won't, but I can tell you again and again, that I do not feel a need to bust someone here, in the balls.


Again, dumbass move on my part. I wrote the post with very little review before posting, and should have caught that.

Autobot032 wrote:What's truly sad to me? My post struck a nerve, and it really shouldn't have, but it did, and I apologized, and yet you attack me. You label me. You impugn my character with these comments. HOW DARE YOU.

My previous post probably wasn't the most tactful, probably should've approached it from a different angle, but I didn't, and I apologized. Both in that post and in this one. With that in mind, there was no need, NO NEED for your post to be so despicable.

You jumped to conclusions, you assumed, you got angry with me, yet you said "I didn't mean to imply that she can barely function because I have some toys", and you expected no one to take notice of that? You didn't mean to, but you most certainly opened the door to a response.


Apology accepted, and I sincerely hope that you accept mine. I did err when I posted, and I realize that now. You're correct that your response wasn't tactful, and mine was only worse, so I hope this escalates no further between us.

Autobot032 wrote:I don't know what your problem is, but I've already apologized, and you've offended me far beyond what is necessary. You DO owe me an apology. I hope, somewhere deep down the gentleman in you will read these words and make you do it.

You went way too far. Way too far.


See above, and above and above again. I do owe you an apology and I hope this post (and PM) will count in your eyes. While I do feel that your post was a bit of kindling (though you didn't intend it), it was I who started the fire. So I humbly eat my words and appeal to the gentleman in you that we might bury this and move on.

Again, to my fellow posters, I apologize. When the voice in the back of your head says "maybe I should re-read this before posting", please listen to it, because it's probably right and you'll have far less pie to swallow.

And now for something completely different:

Treetop Maximus wrote:
Autobot Strider wrote:If you had some bad experiences, then I feel for you, I really do... but don't try and pound a circle into a square hole... because you'll just end up looking ignorant.


I don't need your pathetic sympathy!


Nor I yours, friend. Nor I yours.
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Re: The Talk

Postby Treetop Maximus » Thu Jul 07, 2011 8:46 pm

Motto: "At least the opening was good."
Weapon: Railgun
Dead Metal wrote:
WolfDawg wrote:
Treetop Maximus wrote:
Diem wrote:In the car home I apologised and she told me she knew it made me happy but that she wanted to put me on a budget.


All that over a Leader Class? Maybe if you went online and purchased an MISB Fortress Maximus there would be something to complain about, but this? I'd never let any woman walk over me like that. Keep collecting. Toys are more important than marriages. Dead serious (I cannot stress this enough).


I don't think I've ever seen a post on this forum and thought to myself "God, that's dumb", but I feel like I'm thinking that right now as I read your post Treetop.

I've only been married for 1 year, but I've been in a relationship with my wife for 7 years. To say that a bunch of toys can mean more and bring you more joy than a significant other or family member is just plain wrong. Maybe some random girl you met at a bar, or maybe some fling you've only known for a few months, but a good woman is worth more than any and all transformers (or any material possession for that matter). I know that being in a relationship can be a real bitch, and I know women nag and nag (it's almost as if it's impossible to please them sometimes! Lol), but deep down, Diem's wife isn't saying what she's saying to be mean. It's because she genuinely cares, like any good woman would.

I'm just going to assume that you're either really young, have had your heart stomped on, or have never been in a serious relationship Treetop. That's the only way I can justify your ignorance.

Seriously, even my dog is more important to me than my collection.
If I was given al ultimatum I would only ask to keep a few that are really important to me and sell the rest.


And my childhood teddy bear is more important to me than my entire collection. Your point, Mr. Reporter?

Hell, I would break up with any woman who tried to separate me from that bear!
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Re: The Talk

Postby Moonbase2 » Thu Jul 07, 2011 9:16 pm

When you have several members that have spent hundreds or thousands of hard earned money on their collections and have belonged to a TF-centric website for years say that though marriage is hardly a stroll in the park, it is more important to them than their collection, there is probably some merit to that. At least, it is their truth, and deserves some respect.

I spend more than my husband (generally) on hobbies/toys/collections, and if I were causing an issue with it, I would definitely expect my husband to step in and let me know it's gone too far if it is interfering in a *meaningful* way in our lives, finances, etc. If it weighs out that our finances are fine, the house is not overrun in my things (which do include shoes, to partially validate the mildly sexist example), and there is not deception, then I should be afforded my pleasure.

In no way, however, are my things (yep, things, no matter their utility they bring me)second to the most intimate and important human relationships in my life.
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