The Energon Pub

WolfDawg wrote:My wife doesn't really understand my collecting habits, but we agreed long ago that I'd actually put a budget on it. We have 2 joint checking accounts and 2 joint savings accounts (my wife's an accountant, so I just assume she knows what she's doing by spreading our money around like this). However, in addition to that, we both have our own individual accounts and give ourselves 150 dollars "allowance" every 2 weeks (or every pay period).

That's basically my budget for TF's. If I want to hang out with friends and go to clubs, it has to come out my allowance. If I want to go to the bar and get drinks, it comes out my allowance. If I want to buy a transformer, it comes out my allowance. And the same goes for her. New purse? Her allowance. Going out with the girls? Her allowance.

Using that system, she literally can't bitch about my TF spending. It's my money and I've only dipped into the joint account ONCE in 3 years for a Transformer.

So I hate to say it, but your wife is right. There has to be a budget on "plastic crack". There are tons of toys I'd love to have (especially 3rd party toys), but I either have to save up for it, or just tell myself "screw it". Plus, my collection is so big that my wife NEVER notices if I get a new Transformer anyway.

Wow, this sounds a lot like the system my Wife and I have. Except that the allowance is a bit more variable, and so bi-weekly would be between $40-80 dollars. Rarely dose it exceed $100. I have a pretty modest collection (less that 30 figures) but even that seems like a lot to my neat-freak wife. I rarely display them in large numbers (other than my two Masterpieces, who are always out) but whenever I buy one I get a bit of static (nothing serious though).

The funny thing is, she bought me the Battle in Space two pack for my birthday... go figure!

As long as I keep it to a few figs in a year, she doesn't make too much fuss, but she has wondered if it ever stops.

Convotron wrote:

Diem wrote:"Does it ever...stop? Do they just keep coming out with new figures and you have to keep buying them?"

I had no good answer. I mumbled something about how the other guys sell off older parts of their collection.

And now I'm a little scared. I know I could and should spend less and I agree that a budget would be the best thing for me. I'm fine with spending less or selling some of my figures. But I've heard stories about rows o even separations over collections. If I wasn't collecting I don't know what else would take its place in my life.

I do think that the fact you had no answer for her question is a point of concern. As you've said, you don't know what else would take the place of collecting in your life.

I don't believe that devising a budget alone to adhere to should be a primary concern at this time. I think what you should do first and foremost is address what purpose and role exactly TF collecting serves you in your life.

If you aren't able to provide an answer as to why you collect, a large part of your collecting likely stems from compulsive behavior, which isn't a good thing, and may be connected to a desire to fill a gap in your life without fully understanding what that gap is and why it's there.

However, if you do figure out why you collect and it is a healthy component of your lifestyle then things like budgeting and determining what kinds of TF products that suit your collection best will be easier to determine.

Great advice.

CelticDragon wrote:

Starscream's Girl wrote:
Seeing how all your 'wives' are, makes me wonder if I ever get a boyfriend who isn't a geek would re-act to my TF addiction.

My husband is actually very supportive, too much so, in fact. He really doesn't care what I buy but I do care. I can't justify spending over a certain amount a month, especially when incidental expenses have a tendency to come up and we have little savings to buffer us.

I'm also out of space so now have to be very very picky what I buy. Leader IH (which I love) is on my desk taking up space I didn't have to spare but no way is he going. However, it means I won't be getting some of the other TFs I had my eye on because I spent a chunk of $$ and because he takes up more than his share of surface area.

I think of it as a fun challenge to set limits. I have to prioritize, make lists, give each toy a rating system and decide if I really want it enough to spend money and space on it. Once I decide I do, I'm usually very pleased with the choice and appreciate what I have.

Yeah, my ex-boyfriend was big into collecting certain TF's and Star Wars toys. We were always tight on money due to it cause he was just as bad as me. So I kind of hope my next one won't be into TFs, but won't have a problem with them. I kind of need someone to help me stay in line when it comes to TF spending, lol.

Counterpunch wrote:

Convotron wrote:

Diem wrote:"Does it ever...stop? Do they just keep coming out with new figures and you have to keep buying them?"

I had no good answer. I mumbled something about how the other guys sell off older parts of their collection.

And now I'm a little scared. I know I could and should spend less and I agree that a budget would be the best thing for me. I'm fine with spending less or selling some of my figures. But I've heard stories about rows o even separations over collections. If I wasn't collecting I don't know what else would take its place in my life.

I do think that the fact you had no answer for her question is a point of concern. As you've said, you don't know what else would take the place of collecting in your life.

I don't believe that devising a budget alone to adhere to should be a primary concern at this time. I think what you should do first and foremost is address what purpose and role exactly TF collecting serves you in your life.

If you aren't able to provide an answer as to why you collect, a large part of your collecting likely stems from compulsive behavior, which isn't a good thing, and may be connected to a desire to fill a gap in your life without fully understanding what that gap is and why it's there.

However, if you do figure out why you collect and it is a healthy component of your lifestyle then things like budgeting and determining what kinds of TF products that suit your collection best will be easier to determine.

Great advice.

Yeah, I second this. The only thing I'd perhaps say/add is "after" you figure out why you collect... perhaps just follow one or two lines vice everything. That could show her that there is an end in sight?

My wife says often how I have so many, and I've said I only follow two lines and once there over, it's over. And I pass up quite a bit too. I'll be happy with my collection and perhaps try and fill in some of the 3rd party stuff afterwards. maybe. And following a line or two keeps the cash and collection under better control I think. There are awesome TF's out there, but just can't justify to myself I need them all.

I can't even imagine where I'd be TF wise if I were single and left to my own devices with only myslef to worry about and could do as I please. I would be out of control I think.

When the collection starts getting out of control, I start thinking of other things i can do with the collection. Youtube reviews, Stop-motion, toy pyramids. Helps slow down buying, if you can think of more stuff to do with current toys, vs buying more. I'm sure your wife was just checking to see if you were aware of your limits in life. Good luck!

http://youtu.be/tPPvkhGZT7Y

leave it to Brad Pitt to make a good point..........

First up I wanted to thank everyone for their kind thoughhtful words and concern. Given that I've met almost none of you it's very sweet that you're taking so much time to think about a stranger.

Secondly I'm currently travelling and writing from an iPhone so please excuse my short response.

For those who asked about my finances that at least is not a concern. Me and my wife both work full time. We can pay rent, buy groceries, go on dates, buy TFs and still have a slowly increasing bank account.

My weakness when it comes to purchases is down to a number of factors. I don't subscribe to the "only collect such-and-such lines" philosophy because that's not how I am. Each figure is an individual rather than part of a collection. If I didn't get movie figures I wouldn't have gotten Skyhammer or Dropkick. If I didn't collect Animated I wouldn't have Ironfist or Dragstrip.

One of the issues is that me and my wife are totally opposites attract. I'm a low-key, patient person, she's vibrant and impulse. I'm a nerd and she's the popular pretty girl. And, most glaringly, I love having physical items that I can pull from the metaphorical library and read any time while she hates being tied down by material goods. The fact that we love and support each other despite our diametrically-opposite personalities and interests is heartening but it can lead to friction.

Like the proverbial alcoholic I could stop anytime I wanted. But like that alcoholic I sometimes need someone to pour my bottles down the sink.

I'll find my way, I know.

As for not knowing what I would do if I didn't collect I feel this is less obsessiveness than a lifelong habit. I was one-year-old when Transformers came out and I had both wealthy, moribund grandparents and brothers a decade my elder. I was breaking Robotech toys before I could walk. There's never been a time in my life where a toy stop hasn't been my first stop followed by game and book shops. Collecting TFs is hardcoded into me.

the, "talk" really scares me. me and my girl friend are just like you and your wife. she likes completely different things and does not like to collect things. she often calls my collection junk or wastes of money. just be glad your wife is understanding :/

Some interesting replies in this thread have made me question why I even collect the things. I'm not a diehard fan by any stretch, but as a uni student (from Aus) I'll occasionally splash out on a new transformer. I really only have 6 but they're all leaders (ROTF Prime, HFTD Prime, Animated Magnus, HFTD Starscream and DOTM Sentinel and Masterpiece Megatron).
I only like the leaders- can't stand anything less, they seem ridiculously plastic and poorly constructed in my opinion which has allowed me to save up the majority of my $30k earnings over the past five years from part time work as I'm really keen on saving up to eventually move to America in the next ten years.

The thing is though, I don't display these figures, don't play with them- they're all brand new in box tucked away in a cupboard somewhere because I wouldn't be caught dead with a display case showing them all off, which makes me question why I even have them.

What is wrong with me? Haha.

I can feel Diem's pain. I've been on a binge since January and spent several thousand on figures(exclusives, older figures, and third parties are killing me!), but have slowed down remarkably since DOTM came out. I think everyone needs to have a plan, and figure out where their priorities lie as well as why they collect. It never stops, but it does slow down. As I had real needs for money I took a semi-hiatus for a three year stretch and am just catching back up. I used to buy everything under the sun, but have recently been more focused on the classics universe and actual vintage g1 and reissues. The hobby is exactly that; a hobby. Spend what you can afford with disposable income. Cheers and thanks for listening.

Diem wrote:In the car home I apologised and she told me she knew it made me happy but that she wanted to put me on a budget.

All that over a Leader Class? Maybe if you went online and purchased an MISB Fortress Maximus there would be something to complain about, but this? I'd never let any woman walk over me like that. Keep collecting. Toys are more important than marriages. Dead serious (I cannot stress this enough).

Treetop Maximus wrote:

Diem wrote:In the car home I apologised and she told me she knew it made me happy but that she wanted to put me on a budget.

All that over a Leader Class? Maybe if you went online and purchased an MISB Fortress Maximus there would be something to complain about, but this? I'd never let any woman walk over me like that. Keep collecting. Toys are more important than marriages. Dead serious (I cannot stress this enough).

I really hope that's a joke.

When I finally get to the point of having a family, they will always come first. My collecting can go on the backburner for all I care.

Treetop Maximus wrote: I'd never let any woman walk over me like that. .

...that's what they all say.


No offense to anyone here, but I know everyone here is a full-time Transformers collector. Not knocking on the younger folk here, but if you haven't experienced a serious relationship than your validity in this conversation and topic is full to none - especially if it's on the side of keeping your Transformers.

Diem, you know your wife and your relationship with her far better than any of us here. Bottomline, is that she means more to you, than Transformers. Just let it cool off for a bit. You don't need to always be gung-ho with your purchases. Just keep it on the down-low. She's not going to notice them.. especially if you have many.

robofreak wrote:I really hope that's a joke.

Treetop Maximus wrote:Dead serious

Blurrz wrote:...that's what they all say.

Except I've got the power.

YEEEAAAH!

Seriously, though... I wouldn't, because I have no interest in getting in some stupid relationship, getting divorced, and having the greedy bitch take all of my Transformers out of spite. I can't help but think it would be ridiculously hard to work out a prenup that would keep all of my possessions safe (unless maybe the agreement mentioned entire brands rather than specific items...Hm.). Either way, women get all angry if you tell 'em you want a prenup, so there's no good reason to start some relationship.

Cyber Bishop wrote:I am glad that my wife of almost 20 years understands and supports my collecting habits..

Abso-freakin'-lutely! My girlfriend has been with me close to 7 years and she's fine with it.

My Dad has complained about them, and said exactly this:

Diem wrote:"Does it ever...stop? Do they just keep coming out with new figures and you have to keep buying them?"

Pretty much word for word.

I reminded my Dad of the following:

I do not smoke.
I do not drink.
I do not do drugs.

And what finally settled it was when I sold off several figures to pay a family bill, without him even asking. I just went and paid the bill, and he thanked me, crying, and said "Have at 'em." and never bothered me again.

Now, he's more interested in seeing how the newest ones work. Can't wait to see DOTM either, he's chomping at the bit.

And Diem, please understand I mean no offense here, because I lump my Dad (his past self, I should clarify) in with your girlfriend when I say this: I feel it's a stupid question, and shows how disinterested in our lives some people are.

They're collectibles. In a LINE of collectibles. Do we need to collect them all? Of course not. But we'll certainly need to keep up with at least some of them. It's always struck me as a ridiculously STUPID question.

As for collecting several lines, I agree with being careful. My RID collection covers two shelves. I have all of the original molds and colors of the cast. No Brave Max, no redecoes, no remolds. For all intents and purposes, I have the entire line, and it's manageable.

A/E/C trilogy? Trimming, some aggressive, had to be done.

Point is, I collect only what I want and need, not everything that comes out.

Try a budget to appease her. If she still complains after that, then something else is bothering her.

Treetop, no offence but getting into an adult relationship s very different to what it sounds like you expect. It is about shocks, challenges and love.

Diem wrote:Treetop, no offence but getting into an adult relationship s very different to what it sounds like you expect. It is about shocks, challenges and love.

I respect your opinion and sincerely hope you can work things out with your wife. Choosing between a hobby and a wife is a decision I wouldn't wish upon anyone. I wish I could feel the same way about relationships, but my parents' divorce had a pretty huge impact on me, as does television. I'm very impressionable.

Diem wrote:Treetop, no offence but getting into an adult relationship s very different to what it sounds like you expect. It is about shocks, challenges and love.

And budget. Relationships are a constant struggle for harmony.

Try it, though. Agree on a set amount of money each month, it's what I do and we're all happy with it. Also, never spend more then you're willing to let your partner spend equally.

Diem, It seems your partner has offered you a compromise of sorts and personally I would be happy with that. I have never had THE TALK but I know its coming. Im 7 months into a relationship and I know its around the corner, but due to me opting out of DOTM figs (save a couple of deluxes) its not an issue at the moment.

I dont think a budget is to be feared.

Its a damn sight better than an ultimatum.

Diem wrote:One of the issues is that me and my wife are totally opposites attract. I'm a low-key, patient person, she's vibrant and impulse. I'm a nerd and she's the popular pretty girl. And, most glaringly, I love having physical items that I can pull from the metaphorical library and read any time while she hates being tied down by material goods. The fact that we love and support each other despite our diametrically-opposite personalities and interests is heartening but it can lead to friction.

Like the proverbial alcoholic I could stop anytime I wanted. But like that alcoholic I sometimes need someone to pour my bottles down the sink.

I'll find my way, I know.

Diem, I'm not going to be insulting and claim I know exactly how your wife thinks. I have no idea, I've never met her. But I do know I feel like a collection of material goods in some ways goes against my core beliefs. It took awhile for me to get that straightened out in my mind. Maybe my explanation to myself will help you put your collecting in perspective.

First off, I know my priorities and those toys aren't really high on the list. If my house burned down today while I was away, my first question to the firemen would be "are my husband and all the firemen safe". My second question would be "were you able to save my animals". My third question still wouldn't involve toys but would start to involve things like how much property is left.

It's not money that is evil, it's the love of money. I truly believe it's not how many things you amass or even why you buy them, it's how you see them that is the defining factor in whether or not you have a problem. You seem to me to be able to put family and self before your collecting. Just because you have more disposable income than many here doesn't mean you have a problem. If your income and subsequent expenditures are more important to you than the core beliefs you have, THEN you have a problem. And only you can decide this.

This thread raises some great questions that I have been pondering on myself lately.

I've been a collector since I was about 14, though not always just Transformers. I've bought and sold collections before. I have a good feeling eventually the majority of my TF collection will be sold.

My main concern is space, rather than money. I make enough money to look after my bills and buy myself a lot (Something I often feel guilty about...). I have one small bookshelf and two Ikea Detolf glass shelves for my collections. The bookshelf if full of run of the mill TFs, and the Detolfs are full of imported TFs, statues, chogokins and the like. Right no my bookshelf is full and I have a little room left in the Detolfs. In the next year I might fill my Detolfs, and add a few to my bookshelf. My Detolfs will be comfortably full when the next batch of 3rd party toys come out. My collection is visually quite nice now, so I may let it stay at this size for a while.

Personally, I don't want a room full of toys. I much prefer to have a small collection of nicer figures that I buy far less frequently. I never really set myself on a monthly budget for my collection simply because I have no need too. In the past 6 months, I've only bought 3 TFs at retail and one higher end statue. So most months I spend absolutely nothing on my collection, but I have spent 500 a month at times.

With the great 3rd party toys coming out lately, this way of collecting is EXTREMELY satisfying. The infrequent releases of good 3rd party toys means I have plenty of time to put a little cash aside for an upcoming release I must have. I have very little interest in the majority of standard Hasbro/TT releases, but luckily that keeps me from having a room full of TFs, and doesn't hit my wallet too hard over the course of a month.

Personally, I think this method of collecting looks better than me buying entire lines to my girlfriend of 5 years. I would be satisfied with my collection if I stopped adding to it today. She collects art, carvings, fossils, and sculptures in a similar way, so we fit quite well together that way.

Next time you fill a shelf, pretend that you will never buy another toy for your collection:

-Are you happy with just the toys in your collection?
-What toys are your favorites?
-What are your least favorites?
-Do you need all of those repaints?
-What 10 toys would you want to swap for another?

Answering these questions might help you love what you have even more, and maybe show your wife that there indeed can be an end to your collection.

So, in short:

-Keep it small and personable.
-Quality over quantity.

Why is it always the women who start this "When will it ever stop?"

Same boat with me though I only focus on the G1 stuff I come across ebay and a few henkei or two or three or........

Also have the same argument

1. Don't smoke
2. Don't drink
3. Don't do drugs

Looks like more or less we're all in the same boat......

Treetop Maximus wrote:

Diem wrote:In the car home I apologised and she told me she knew it made me happy but that she wanted to put me on a budget.

All that over a Leader Class? Maybe if you went online and purchased an MISB Fortress Maximus there would be something to complain about, but this? I'd never let any woman walk over me like that. Keep collecting. Toys are more important than marriages. Dead serious (I cannot stress this enough).

I don't think I've ever seen a post on this forum and thought to myself "God, that's dumb", but I feel like I'm thinking that right now as I read your post Treetop.

I've only been married for 1 year, but I've been in a relationship with my wife for 7 years. To say that a bunch of toys can mean more and bring you more joy than a significant other or family member is just plain wrong. Maybe some random girl you met at a bar, or maybe some fling you've only known for a few months, but a good woman is worth more than any and all transformers (or any material possession for that matter). I know that being in a relationship can be a real bitch, and I know women nag and nag (it's almost as if it's impossible to please them sometimes! Lol), but deep down, Diem's wife isn't saying what she's saying to be mean. It's because she genuinely cares, like any good woman would.

I'm just going to assume that you're either really young, have had your heart stomped on, or have never been in a serious relationship Treetop. That's the only way I can justify your ignorance.