#19 Counterpunch! (Never heard of him...)Substitute teacher here again and in spite of your regularly scheduled programming, I’m going to take some time to talk about the robot with the plan, the blue bomber, that nefarious agent of infiltration, you know him, I love him, (no, it’s not Mega Man) we’re talking about Counterpunch.
A shining beacon of hope in an otherwise dry landscape of traitors and liars!Counterpunch is, for lack of proper means to describe him, the coolest. He’s a car and not just any car, but a blue car. I challenge anyone out there to find a more interesting or more unique combination of car and color. His alt mode is that of the beloved Pontiac Fiero. Never hear of it? I’m not surprised, he IS a spy after all.
I wanna take you for a riiide.People have attempted to deny the existence of this solitary predetor, knowing full well that if they were ever to have seen him, they would not live to tell the tale. The Pontiac Fiero is very real though. The picture below shows off how well it blends in to any surrounding for maximum spy-power. The moral of the story? Don’t look behind you, because he’s probably real nearby:
Some interesting things to note about our super-spy friend here include his somewhat spindly arms. You see, Counterpunch doesn’t have time for lifting weights, he is far too busy documenting your downfall (and getting gang tattoos on his powerful chest).
Go to milk, Drink your drugs, Don’t do school.Counterpunch also comes with stylish accessories, such as this beautiful and shiny photon cannon. I have a photon cannon of my own, for my own personal use. I call it a flash light. The point is, Counterpunch is unbeatable at Laser Tag.
Laser Tag is the loneliest game in the world. Seriously, was there ever a neighborhood where more than one kid had a set?Counterpunch is also very popular, he keeps a list of his friends and that list separates into two distinct groups. The first group consists of people who are allowed to point guns at Counterpunch…
and the second group consists of people who it is fun to point guns at.
Rodimus SUCKS at Laser Tag.Now, I have to address some ugly rumors out there that Counterpunch is more than just a sex-machine on four wheels with a really expensive flash light. You see, there are some who think that the man/myth/machine may in fact be leading a double life. Those people are
dead wrong.
Hugs can’t stop the bleeding of our betrayed hearts bub…Anyone who would even entertain the idea that a super-spy might have complex motives (and transformations!) which would lead to being some kind of awesome double-agent is just insane.
Rumor has it that Galvatron is insane…The very idea that engineering could lead to something as fun and clever as a self-contained double-spy is absurd. No Decepticon worth his Energon could possibly fall for a trap like that.
…Real Nearby
[ Click to attempt signal recovery... ]
