Reporting from Hell's Front Line
This is Kamjiin, HMW: Frontline's War Correspondant, reporting to you from the front lines of the Great War. Welcome to our Faction Special. Today we had an opportunity for a round-robin chat with the leaders of the breakaway factions. Representing the Maximals, we have Galvatron Primal. Representing the Predacons we have Symbiote Spiderman 14.
Kamjiin: First let me say thank you for joining us today. I also have to ask, SS14, why did you bring your subordinate, Bun-Bun with you to this interview?
SS14: We're a team, and we make decisions together. Also, I'm not 100% recovered from my last engagement. I keep my word however, and I agreed to this interview. But Bun-Bun will be handling the heavy lifting.
BB: **Nods**
GP: **Ignores Predacons**
Kamjiin: Tell us, what do the Maximals stand for? How do we differentiate you from the Autobots?
GP: The Maximals are looking to bring those aspects of Cybertron, which we loved for so long, back. The fun, the smack talk, the comradery. By doing this we believe we can become stronger and give a true challenge to the other 3 factions.
BB: Does anybody else think that it’s a bit ironic that a Commander that switches sides as often as some switch transformations is working on building intra-faction loyalty? When you decide to jump ship on the Maxi’s and join the Preds, you’ll find that we’re not so different in how we spend our downtime. The Predacons are currently working to build up our own internal community as well as reaching out to the other factions to find ways to build relationships that may prove useful in creating meaningful alliances.
GP: It has been close to 3 years since I left the Decepticons and they, at least certain members, have NEVER seemed to get past that, particularly within the RDD. 3 YEARS!!! Now apparently the Predacons can’t seem to move on either. I guess I should be flattered that the RDD, the Decepticons and now the Predacons still feel so “betrayed” over my leaving. Other Decepticons had left as well, such as Whisper, Trax to name but a few, without so much fanfare. Seriously, GET OVER IT!!!!
And unless I am missing something, my Predacon friend, you did not start this war as a Predacon. Apparently you have also forgotten about SS14 who started this war as an Autobot before going to the Decepticons and ultimately to become some sort of Predhead leader. Or did you simply not know? Did your fearless leader forget to mention that to you, Predacon? Remember, every Predacon, and Maximal for the matter, started this war as an Autobot or a Decepticon.
Kamjiin: Tell us, what do the Predacons stand for? How do we differentiate you from the Decepticons?
BB: We Predacons have been a part of the Decepticon Empire for a long time. For nearly all of that time we have been looked down upon & marginalized. No more. Though we may be a small faction, we will be heard. We are no longer content to be bound solely to the use of mechanical technology, we believe that the future of Cybertron lies in the exploration of biological technologies. While we still keep ties with some of our Decepticon brethren, and are not averse to fighting beside them in the future, we must be able to continue our experimentation. If they, or any other faction, get in our way again we will fight them.
We are focused on the most basic need of any living being...survival. To that end we have begun to evolve ourselves using Biotech. Biotech not only enhances our overall physical performance but also allows us to more efficiently use our power sources. This will ensure that we will still be able to thrive on this planet even after Energon levels drop to the point that the 'gas guzzling' relics known as Autobots and Decepticons are forced to waste their time searching for larger sources of energy.
Some Decepticons and Autobots realize the need to use Biotech, but have limited themselves to the 'Masters' processes. Unfortunately, that technology is old and has really gone as far as it can...Bioforms are the future.
GP: The Maximals have done all we can to elevate the Predacons past their Decepticon ancestors. It is through their own actions that they feel they are struggling. Had they honored the Pax Cybertronia, which the Tripredacus Council is supposed to uphold, then things on Cybertron would be different, and not only for the Predacons but for all Cybertronians.
To think that "biotech" is the way of the future would be foolish. Not all Maximals and Predacons will want to, or should they have to, give up the current form. Yes some of us, on both sides, have taken "beast modes", but that was because of our surroundings in Earth's pre-history or on other biological planets. Just because some of use have decided upon our return to Cybertron to keep these "beast modes" does not mean that they should be forced on other Cybertronians.
BB: You’re putting words in my mouth. I never said that we intend to force other Mechs to adopt Bioforms, infact some of my own troops have yet to make to make the change. What I was saying is that at some point it will become a necessity to utilize Biotech if we wish to continue living on Cybertron. Radiation levels all over Cybertron have been rising since fighting has begun again and will continue to do so. At the same time Energon levels on the planet are becoming increasingly lower due to the growing needs of all four factions.
It has been shown that Biotech has the ability to withstand and/or shield against forms of radiation that our mechanical components cannot. Bioforms are also use less energon to maintain, lessening our dependence on extra-planetary energon mining. As for your claims of "elevating" the Predacons, I fail to see how repression of all Predacon scientific progress. Continual suspensions of our civil rights, and hindering our attempts to protect our people cannot be considered anything other than oppression.
Kamjiin: Tell the potential recruits out there, why should they join your faction?
GP: I think for the reasons I stated above. We are looking to bring the whole Maximal faction together. Even, now, as we form the Maximal Defense Force, we are looking for new ways to unify every Maximal Commander for the greater good of Cybertron and our faction.
BB: In my opinion, it doesn’t sound like you are offering your recruits more than any other faction… The Decepticons and Autobots have been promoting intra-faction unity for a very long time. The obstacle they have always had is that there are far too many commanders, all with varying temperaments, to possible bring them all together. The Predacons and Maximals currently benefit from smaller numbers in that respect. The Predacons, for example, are composed of a very eclectic mix of personalities, but our small numbers allow the commanders to create more intimate relationships and therefore allow us to work better as a whole. Predacon commanders can also feel secure in the knowledge that they will be treated as an equal and with respect from their peers… something we were denied under maximal oppression.
GP: So I should just tell you and every other Predacon, Decepticon and Autobot what we Maximals are doing is that it? If what I stated isn’t enough to peak a mech’s interest then they may not fit in with the Maximals. We are looking for mechs that want to be Maximals and want to make a difference. Sure it is not going to be easy since we will have the most ground to protect with the least amount of soldiers to do it with, but I think that the most difficult things in life are worth fighting for.
Kamjiin: Collateral damage caused by both sides during the war is an ongoing concern. What steps would you take to prevent such atrocities?
BB: Collateral damage....phh there's no such thing on this planet anymore. This war has been waged for too long, affected too many lives, for any inhabitant to truly be neutral. Sure there are a large number that claim they have no stake in the outcome, but that would change very quickly if any faction ever actually won. The way I see it, the so-called "collateral damage" is a good thing, it forces the public at large to realize that this war affects us all and that they need to decide what they are willing to die for before someone else makes the decision for them.
GP: Again had the Predacons not continued their aggression the damage caused by the Great War would have been on a mend. That's not to say that Cybertron is "healed" or even close to it, but had the Pax Cybertronia been honored the damage inflicted recently would not have happened. Are the Predacons to blame? Not entirely, no, but a common ground must be found in order to save Cybertron and it's inhabitants from destruction.
SS 14: Unfortunately that’s a part of war there isn't much we can do about. But with new Transtechnology, it is easier to put back together.
BB: Pax Cybertronia, Pax Cybertronia…. Always the Maximals point out that we broke the armistice. Never do they recall that the first shots were fired by rogue elements of our faction, Predacons that felt that they needed to fight back against Maximal oppression. The Tri-Predacus Council had no choice in signing the Pax Cybertronia as the only option to keep the Maximals from slaughtering our weakened forces. The Maximals promised a peaceful existence where all Mechs would live as equals. What they delivered was anything but. Never during those years of "peace" were Predacons ever truly treated as equals. We were forced to live as the Maximals dictated and were repeatedly denied our civil rights.
The Maximals expected the Council to enforce the terms of the treaty but denied them the ability to properly arm and train their soldiers for fear of another uprising. I t was because of those restrictions that the council inevitably had to bow to the pressure of the much better equipped resistance movement. You say that the Pax Cybertronia allowed us the time to help heal Cybertron. Perhaps the physical world, yes, but in the end it only served to further deepen the wounds of our people.
Kamjiin: You organize yourselves much like the pre-war government. Many claim that it was them who started the war in the first place. How do you expect sentients to view you as any different from them?
GP: The only way to show, or prove, our intensions is by doing. We can talk a good talk, as with any of the factions, but I believe that it is in actual doing that "talks" the loudest. Words are nothing if the actions don't back them up.
BB: On this point, Galvatron Primal, we agree. The Predacons long ago tired of hearing the repetitive drone of Maximal rhetoric… especially when their actions so clearly contradicted those words. At least with the Decepticons we knew from the outset not to trust them. They made no promises to be fair or treats us as equals, they promised only subjugation. You Maximals claimed to cherish peace, the pursuit of knowledge, and equality for all sentient beings, yet in the past you have thrown these tenets aside whenever it suited you.
When Predacon scientists tried to further our understanding of Transmetal tech, research that would have benefited us all, we were attacked by Maximals. When we tried to better train our soldiers to protect our territories we were set upon by Maximals. When some of us finally stood up against Maximal repression they were violently put down, not only that, but Predacons who were not involved were subsequently attacked simply for being Predacons. As you said: "Words are nothing if the actions don’t back them up". The actions of the past will not be soon forgotten by many Predacons. Many, such as myself, are willing to attempt an alliance again with Maximals… but as true equals, at the first indication that you are reverting to your old ways we will not hesitate to strike.
GP: What are you talking about? We didn’t agree on anything. You went on talking about events that never happened. Drinking a little too much of the Energon sake are we?
”At least with the Decepticons we knew from the outset not to trust them. They made no promises to be fair or treats us as equals, they promised only subjugation.”
How could you or any Pred feel “subjected” by a faction that you, not too long ago, were apart of?
”When Predacon scientists tried to further our understanding of Transmetal tech, research that would have benefited us all, we were attacked by Maximals.”
Predacon scientists researched TransMetal tech for their own benefit, to meet their goals and to try and regain control of Cybertron through brutal means. I’m not seeing how that benefits the Maximals.
”When we tried to better train our soldiers to protect our territories we were set upon by Maximals.”
Training soldiers?? Have you even bothered to read the Pax Cybertronia?? You know the document that ended hostilities after the Great War. The document signed by your Decepticon ancestors to bring peace to a dying Cybertron. You may want to pick it up sometime, it’s an interesting read.
”The actions of the past will not be soon forgotten by many Predacons.”
Are you sure? You seem to have forgotten that you and all the other Predacons switched sides. Not to mention that your “leader”, SS14 was once an Autobot turned Decepticon, now a Predacon. You seem to have forgotten that the Pax Cybertronia ever existed. Do you even know what we were just talking about?
SS 14: I have to respond to that! Honestly, we Predacons have been oppressed far too long by the Maximals, Autobots and even our Decepticon allies. Now some of my Decepticon friends will say we are the little fellows biting at their ankles, but we are the new models. Upgraded versions of all other Transformers. The ones without rusted or missing parts. It is time we take back Cybertron and lead it into a new era of prosperity.
Kamjiin: The Autobots and Decepticons have a tremendous numerical advantage. How do you intend to counter it?
SS14: I'd like to field this one if i may. We will have to resort to guerrilla warfare and sneak attacks. Any head on attacks against the Decepticons or Autobots would be stupid. They outnumber us 3-1. But hopefully with our new propaganda campaign and a possible surprise alliance in the works we can turn the tide.
BB: The old Bots and Cons will eventually either be driven off of Cybertron or forced into permanent stasis due to lack of Energon. Of course that will be of little comfort to us if they manage to defeat us before that happens. So for the immediate future it would be in the best interest of both the Maximals and Predacons to form a military alliance... no matter how distasteful that may be to some members on either side. Though our methods make us adversaries, we both know that we are the future of Cybertronian survival.
Once we have eliminated the threat of the 'old order' we can once again vie for superiority amongst ourselves. Also during the time that we are allied we can pool our resources to further push back the boundaries of Biotech research possibly allowing us to evolve at a greater rate and perhaps bring about an early end to the antiquated Bots and Cons.
Who knows, while we are fighting and learning side by side we may be able to work past our differences to create a unified faction dedicated to the survival and betterment of all of Cybertron.
GP: Outnumbered? Yes. Outmatched? No. Will alliances be forged to better benefit the Maximals? Yes. I cannot say if that alliance will be with the Predacons, though. Too many battles, too many lost friends on account of the Predacons to forge yet another alliance. The Predacons have gone out of their way to continue a war long dead and yet when their survival is in question they want to run home like nothing they did ever happened. An alliance will not be easy, no, yet it could be that very alliance that ends the war. Only time will tell.
BB: As I said, Pax Cybertronia did not end the war; it only forced it into dormancy. The Predacons would not lightly enter into another alliance with the Maximals, but I believe that both sides need to realize that joining with either the Autobots or Decepticons at this stage is to invite them to continue treating us as their underlings, or ‘pets’ as the Decepticons tend to say.
Our two factions will never be free of their shadows until we can confront them as equals. To that end, an alliance, even a temporary alliance, would be in both of our factions’ best interest until such time as we can build up our bases of support.
I’m not trying to suggest that it would be easy. Hostilities amongst our people run deep and it would be a constant struggle to keep troops on both sides in line, but if it means that in the end we can beat back the Autobots and Decepticons to the point where our two factions can stand as their equals, then it will be worth the effort.
Kamjiin: I had several more questions, but unfortunately we are out of time for today. Galvatron Primal, Bun-Bun, Symbiote Spiderman 14, thank you again for this enlightening discussion.
Let's get some perspective on what things look like in the field right now:
Anonymous Predacon 15: "We're still fixing the damage to our base. I just wish the boss would return so we can finish up and get back in the field. That Autobot gave us plenty of juicy intel!".
Anonymous Autobot 32: "...and when I was twelve million...my teammates had me guard the energon...and I drank it all...when I was at the academy...I cheated on my civics exams...and then...the worst thing I ever did...it was terrible...I told Hot Rod to help Optimus Prime..."
Tammuz wrote:The Folly of Underwater and Surface to Air Cannons(UWSTACs)
the Decepticon weapon tester's go to the beach
The sand, the sun, the scream of women in bikinis as we assured them they'd never need suncream again. What more could a con ask for? After some relaxing daiquiris we drew lots and Northclaw got to test out this weeks weapon. So, armed with nothing but his UWSTACs and a banana hammock he went for a dip.
Let's take a look at the weapon; it's basically a water proof Turret Mounted Gun with shotgun ammo, no frills ,no big computer targeting system or automatic reloading, not even a manufacturer's guarantee. They're cheap and almost any fool should be able to press the big red button labeled "Fire". The ammo does have a very large charge, probably becuase shot doesn't travel very far underwater.
Upon returning from his swim, Northclaw informed the research team that the reloading was cumbersome on the UWSTACs, the damage seemed mediocre and that his banana hammock made a better offensive weapon.
In other news today: The Autobots unofficial mascot, Wheelie, was brutally beaten by several Decepticons outside the EBC. Security cameras at the scene recorded the terrible assault. Afterwards, one of the assailants transformed into a bluish colored battle ambulance. His cohorts then placed Wheelie inside the cargo area and fled the scene. Although the attack and kidnapping took place at the busiest time of day, no witnesses were to be found. Anyone with any information on the crime or knowledge of Wheelie's whereabouts are urged to contact Autobase immediately. Tipsters may choose to remain anonymous.
According to the newsscrolls in the archives, the Decepticons are losing in the field. We asked the Decepticons for a comment, but they were too busy licking the metalshod feet of Gore,"Preferred Leader of the Decepticon Empire," to respond by press time.
Do your part to help prevent bootlicking on Cybertron! Visit your nearest Predicon Army Recruiting Office and learn more TODAY!
Classifieds
"Have you ever thought about your future? Have you ever thought about Cybertron's future?
The Predacon Attack Coalition is more than just a finely tuned, precision instrument of military prowess, it's a family.
Join the Predacon Attack Coalition! Be a part of something greater than yourself. You have the power to save Cybertorn!
Go Predacon! It's not the right choice, it's the only choice!
Today we'd like to close with this public service message brought to you by our proud sponsors:
This time of the year, we try to give thanks for the many blessings Primus has given us. So, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, we tender this guide to Cooking and Carving Perfect Maximal:
This is where many people are needlessly intimidated. Roasting a Maximal is as simple as 1-2-3, and takes only a few minutes. Studies show all of the following can be done using less than 10 minutes of your time:
1. Kill one Maximal. A Slingshot or Gun will usually suffice.
2. Remove the neck and head, and gut the sucker.
Remove all fur and skin it.
3. Rinse the Maximal inside and out with cold water.
If stuffing is desired, LOOSELY stuff the body and neck cavities with stuffing, then set the legs in a clamp.
4. Place the Maximal in a roasting pan with the Tender-Timer gauge unobstructed. Cover with a lid, or fashion your own cover out of it's armor and/or weapons. (Tip: remove the cover for the last hour for final browning.) Roast in a pre-heated 3250° F oven. Timer pops up when fully cooked.
Roasting will take about 15 minutes per ton if the Maximal is not stuffed. Stuffed Maximals require an additional 1/2 to 1 hour cooking time. Due to the risk of food borne illness do not consume raw or undercooked Maximal.
5. Place the fully cooked Maximal(any size) on a cutting board with a trough to catch the juices. Cut through the crispy skin that connects the leg and the breast and slice down, pulling the thigh away from the Maximal. Continue until you reach the joint and cut through it to separate the leg.
6. Carve off the breast meat in one piece: Slide the knife along one side of the breastbone, as close to the bone as possible. Cut the breast off the carcass.
7. Place the breast meat on the cutting board and thinly slice. Transfer the meat to a platter.
8. Place the leg on the board and cut through the joint between the thigh and drumstick. Transfer to the platter. Detach the wing where it connects to the Maximal. Transfer it to the platter, then repeat steps on the other side.
Does Your Carving Knife Make the Cut?
Don't use just any old knife on your Maximals. The best one has these traits:
1. Length and flexibility. To negotiate turns around the bone, the blade needs to be thin and long — at least nine inches.
2. A Granton edge. This means the knife has a series of hollow ovals ground into both sides of the blade. The ovals prevent the meat from sticking to the blade during carving, and they allow for smooth, even slices.
3. The knife should feel natural in your hand. It shouldn't be too heavy. You want to keep control of the knife, not the other way around.
Thank you for choosing HWM: Frontline. We hope you enjoyed this issue. Please join us for our next exciting issue. I'm Kamjiin, your Frontline War Correspondant, dedicated to reporting Honest and Accurate stories from the front lines of the Great War.
Staff: Kamjiin- Correspondant/ Editor, MamaKitty- Proofreader, Grimsqueaker- Photographer, Tammuz- Columnist
Contributors: Galvatron Primal, Symbiote Spiderman14, Bun-Bun
Back issues available here: #1, #2, #3,
#4
In the Next Issue of HMW: Frontline, we bring you a delicious recipe for a rich and smooth Mogwai Nog...
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!