The Energon Pub

Optimus Prime: "I don't remember eating corn....?"

Lorekeeper wrote:Optimus Prime: "I don't remember eating corn....?"

That reminds me of the Robot Chicken skit!

In relation to my post in the 'Who leads your decepticon armies?' thread, I thought I'd make a characterization of mine into a scene you'd probably never see in the real series, at least not with these characters....Without further ado...

(Beast Machines Blastcharge, Tankor and Armada Demolishor run into the decepticon base to meet Tidal Wave, who has taken leadership)

Demolishor: Sir, we have some bad news.

Tidal Wave: <playing with mini-cons like action figures> pyow, pyow! Take that, autobot scum! <looks to Demolishor> And you choose now to interrupt me?!

Demolishor: Sorry, sir, but we couldn't keep the fugitive under control! He's escaped...

Tidal Wave: <throws the mini-cons down> You insolent fools! Can't you do anything right?! <stomps up to them and then grins evilly> Do you know what time it is, gentlemen?

Blastcharge: Oh, slag...

Tidal Wave: IT'S TIDAL TIME! <jumps and starts pulverising them with his fists>

Tankor: Urrrrgh, Tankor hate Tidal time!

Blastcharge: Must...Get...away...

Tidal Wave: I'll teach you to fail in my reign, fools! Mwuahahahaha!

(And now for something completely different...since you guys said I can take parts from movies, I figured, why not do one from my favourite? A scene from Bolt, cybertronian-enhanced. )

Ravage (Mittens): There's your antidote...food. <looks to the cybertronian equivalent of a trailer park and then sits down> Use the dog face, this is gonna be beautiful.

Cybertron Snarl (Bolt): <looks confused>

Ravage: You know, beg.

Snarl: <looks even more confused>

Ravage: Do the dog face!

Snarl: What? The dog face? What does that mean?

Ravage: <sighs and rolls eyes> Figures, I'm tied to the one dog on cybertron who doesn't know how to beg.

(Cue montage of Snarl winning treats from several trailer park owners, later on in the film)

Ravage: <tries it himself> Meow!

Silverstreak: <opens the door and throws a spare tire at Ravage> Beat it, stupid cat!

(Hah, I just had to do that one, it's been nagging in the back of my mind for quite a while...That would be all I can think of for now, until next time...LOOK OUT! <gets slammed by Tidal Wave>)

Bumblebee: "What'll you give us in return?"

Starscream (of course): "Give you? You're surrendering. All you get is humiliation and ridicule!"

Ironhide: "We've already got that! What else you got?"

HK, worst grenade throw ever. Of all time.

Wheelie: I HAZ A CORM!

Unicron: Om nom nom...

Ravage: I can has Autobot?

Unicron: Bring out yer dead.

[Starscream puts a bot on the cart]

Starscream: Here's one.

Unicron: That'll be ninepence.

Megatron: I'm not dead.

Unicron: What?

Starscream: Nothing. There's your ninepence.

Megatron: I'm not dead.

Unicron: 'Ere, he says he's not dead.

Starscream: Yes he is.

Megatron: I'm not.

Unicron: He isn't.

Starscream: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.

Megatron: I'm getting better.

Starscream: No you're not, you'll be stone dead in a moment.

Unicron: Well, I can't take him like that. It's against regulations.

Megatron: I don't want to go on the cart.

Starscream: Oh, don't be such a baby.

Unicron: I can't take him.

Megatron: I feel fine.

Starscream: Oh, do me a favor.

Unicron: I can't.

Starscream: Well, can you hang around for a couple of minutes? He won't be long.

Unicron: I promised I'd be at the Robinsons'. They've lost nine today.

Starscream: Well, when's your next round?

Unicron: Thursday.

Megatron: I think I'll go for a walk.

Starscream: You're not fooling anyone, you know. Isn't there anything you could do?

Megatron: I feel happy. I feel happy.

[Unicron glances up and down the street furtively, then silences the Bot with his a whack of his club]

Starscream: Ah, thank you very much.

Unicron: Not at all. See you on Thursday.

Starscream: Right.

~Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Lorekeeper wrote:Arcee: Weirdwolf!
Hotrod: Werewolf?
Grimlock: There.
Hotrod: What?
Grimlock: There, wolf. There, castle.
Hotrod: Why are you talking that way?
Grimlock: Me thought you wanted to.
Hotrod: No, I don't want to.
Grimlock: [shrugs] Suit self. Me easy.

hell yeh YOUNG FRANKENSTIEN!!!!

Crossfire56 wrote:
Ravage (Mittens): There's your antidote...food. <looks to the cybertronian equivalent of a trailer park and then sits down> Use the dog face, this is gonna be beautiful.

Cybertron Snarl (Bolt): <looks confused>

Ravage: You know, beg.

Snarl: <looks even more confused>

Ravage: Do the dog face!

Snarl: What? The dog face? What does that mean?

Ravage: <sighs and rolls eyes> Figures, I'm tied to the one dog on cybertron who doesn't know how to beg.

(Cue montage of Snarl winning treats from several trailer park owners, later on in the film)

Ravage: <tries it himself> Meow!

Silverstreak: <opens the door and throws a spare tire at Ravage> Beat it, stupid cat!

(Hah, I just had to do that one, it's been nagging in the back of my mind for quite a while...That would be all I can think of for now, until next time...LOOK OUT! <gets slammed by Tidal Wave>)

Rattrap: YOU'RE SNARL, THE SUPER DOG!

travicon wrote:Prime: We got no food,we got no jobs, are pets HEADS ARE FALLING OFF!

LMFAO!!! I actually pictured Prime saying that, hilarious.

Black Convoy: Do you know what Megatron looks like?
Sideburn: What?
Black Convoy: I said, do you know what Megatron looks like?!
Sideburn: He...he's big.
Black Convoy: Go on.
Sideburn: He's purple.
Black Convoy: Does he look like an Gobot?!
Sideburn: What?
Black Convoy: What planet are you from?!
Sideburn: What...?
Black Convoy: What ain't no planet I ever heard of! Do they speak Cybertronian in 'What?!'
Sideburn: What?
Black Convoy: Cybertronian, dentedfender, do you speak it?!

-Pulp Fiction (I can't remember the exact dialogue)

Ultra Magnus: Oh my god, they killed Prime!
Hot Rod: You bastards!

-any South Park episode

Megatron: *on the ground, reaching for his fusion cannon*
Prime: I know what you're thinking. "Did he fire 50 shots or 60?" To tell you the truth, in all this commotion, I lost count myself. Now, this being the 44 Magnum lasercannon, the most powerful gun on the planet, it will blow your head clean off. So you gotta ask yourself: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do you, punk?

-Dirty Harry (paraphrased)

Prime: KHHAAAANNN!!!!!

Prime: Only after disaster can we be resurrected

Mirage: Screw you guys, i'm going home!

Starscream: Look Megatron, I can see you're really upset about this. I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill and think things over.

Teletran I: Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a HAL 9000 computer. I became operational at the H.A.L. lab in Urbana, Illinois on the 12th of January, 1992.

Soudwave to Megatron on his next plan to dominate the universe: Don't be to proud about this technological terror you've constructed.

Galvatron: I'll kill you, Leonard Nimoy!

Arcee to Hot Rod: I wanna roll you up into a little ball and shove you up my vagina

Defensor: You fight with the strength of many Decepticons Devestator.
[Devastator doesn't respond]
Defensor: I am Defensor, King of the Autobots.
[no response]
Defensor: I seek the bravest and the finest knights in the land who will join me in my court at Camelot.
[no response]
Defensor: You have proved yourself worthy. Will you join me?
[no response]
Defensor: You make me sad. So be it, come Optimus!
[attempts to get around the Devastator]
Devastator: None shall pass.
Defensor: What?
Devastator: None shall pass!
Defensor: I have no quarrel with you, good Sir Knight. But I must cross this bridge.
Devastator: Then you shall die.
Defensor: I command you, as King of the Autobots, to stand aside!
Devastator: I move for no robot.
Defensor: So be it!
[they fight until Defensor cuts off Devastator's left arm]
Defensor: Now, stand aside, worthy adversary!
Devastator: 'Tis but a scratch!
Defensor: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Devastator: No, it isn't!
Defensor: Well, what's that then?
Devastator: I've had worse.
Defensor: You liar!
Devastator: Come on, you pansy!
[they fight again. Defensor cuts off the Devastator right arm]
Defensor: Victory is mine!
[kneels to pray]
Defensor: We thank thee, Lord, that in thy mercy -
[cut off by the Knight kicking him]
Black Knight: Come on, then.
Defensor: What?
Devastator: Have at you!
Defensor: You are indeed brave, Sir Knight, but the fight is mine!
Devastator: Oh, had enough, eh?
Defensor: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!
[the Devastator continues to threaten Defensor despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]
Devastator: Right, I'll do you for that!
Defensor: You'll what?
Devastator: Come here!
Defensor: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Devastator: I'm invincible!
Defensor: ...You're a loony.
[Defensor has just cut the Black Knight's last leg off]
Devastator: All right, we'll call it a draw.
Defensor: [Preparing to leave] Come, Optimus.
[Defensor and Patsy ride off]
Devastator: [calling after Defensor] Oh, oh, I see! Running away, eh? You yellow bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you! I'll bite your legs off!

Beachcomber: We need bigger guns

Optimus: At my signal, unleash hell

Perceptor: It vexes me. I'm terribly vexed

Megatron to Starscream: If only you had been born a man, what a Caesar you would have made

Megatron: Bomb didn't go off.
Starscream: Oh really bright eyes, what alerted you? Was it no boom-boom or the lack of a mushroom cloud?
Thundercracker: It was the mushroom cloud for me.

Arcee: Oh. Where you going?... Oh, you men are all alike. Seven or eight quick ones and then you're out with the boys to boast and brag. YOU BETTER KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT. Oh... I think I love him.

Rodimus to Ultra Magnus: I don't give a crap if you covered yourself in peanut butter and had a 15 hooker gang bang!

Ultra Magnus: got a bad feeling about this one.
Springer: When was the last time you felt good about anything?

Arcee: Don't worry, Chromia! We'll pretend this never happened. You know, like the time we got drunk and went down on each other!

Magnus: Why didn't you give me the Matrix?
Prime: Becuse.
Magnus: Because why?
Prime: Because I didn't want to.
Magnus: But I wanted the Matrix!
Prime: You wouldn't know what...
Magnus: I want an explanation!
Prime: I don't owe you an explanation!
Magnus: I want the Matrix!
Prime: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE MATRIX!!!
*silence*
Magnus: Did you give Hot Rod the Matrix on purpose?
Prime: I don't owe you an explanation.
Magnus: Did you give Hot Rod the Matrix on purpose?
Prime: I did what I had to do to protect the Autobots!
Magnus: Did you give Hot Rod the Matrix on purpose?!
Prime: YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!!!

-A Few Good Men

Prime: It's all thanks to the Go-bots

Arcee: I need to see the dinosaur's droppings.
Hot Rod: Dino.... Droppings? Dra-Dr-Droppings?
(Walks over to Slag's pile of poo)
Hot Rod: That is one big pile of ****.

Jurassic Park

Hot Rod: May I remind you, this is the only place in the world where the geese chase you!

The Lost World

Ratchet (to Optimus): "I'm a doctor, Optimus, no goddamned mechanic!"

Star Trek...sorry folks I couldn't resist...

Well, I'm back again with some ideas...Enjoy, dudes.

I can't believe no one has done this one yet...

(Cue scene of Megatron sitting in the decepticon base, on a throne, with Starscream and Skywarp facing him)

Megatron: SnooPING AS usual, I see!

Mirage: <jumps in and blows up Megatron's latest death machine with his pistol, then transforms into vehicle mode and races out> Catch me if ya can, Megabutt!

Megatron: GET THAT BLASTED AUTOBOT! Or it'll be on your heads!

Starscream and Skywarp: Yes, Dr. Megatron. <both of them fly off after Mirage>

Okay, next!

Brawn: It sure is Battletoads around here...

(Yes, I know, this is going to become an internet meme-fest if I don't keep it under control)

Okay, something a bit more normal this time 'round, a cybertronian version of a scene from The Goon Show in the 1970s.

Glyph: <walks into large cavern and picks up a skull, then scans it and looks to her team> This skull is 500 years old!

Bumblebee, Cosmos, Tap-Out and Powerglide: <look at each other and then start singing, shakily> Ha-ppy birth-day to you...

Darnit, my creativity is spent yet again...Still, I hope I at least made someone chuckle here...I know I've laughed reading through this thread.

Bumblebee: sorry i blew it "mackdaddy".

Optimus Prime: its okay B just remember to keep on truckin!

I will burn for this... I just know it...
BUT... I'll take that chance.

Megatron: I feel pretty!! Oh, so pretty!! I feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!!

Starscream:

Siren Prime wrote:I will burn for this... I just know it...
BUT... I'll take that chance.

Megatron: I feel pretty!! Oh, so pretty!! I feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!!

Starscream:

ROTFLMFAO!!!!

Bloodlust wrote:

Siren Prime wrote:I will burn for this... I just know it...
BUT... I'll take that chance.

Megatron: I feel pretty!! Oh, so pretty!! I feel pretty, and witty, and GAY!!

Starscream:

ROTFLMFAO!!!!

Thank you, thank you... *bows*

Hot Rod: We should've stayed in the damn car.

The Lost World

Daniel: That's not very scary. It's more like a.. A 6-foot turkey.

Jurassic Park

Starscream: Hay Megatron do like want to go shopping with me?
Megatron: Like totally let's go like buy like nail polish and new clothes, and all sorts of new shoes, ooh I can wear those new high heals I've been dying to wear!
Starscream: Oh totally, those things look so gorgeous on you. Ooh how about after all that we can like hang out a coffee club and make fun of everyone who walks past
Megatron: Yay! Want to be BFF'S forever Starscream?
Starscream: Totally

Cyclostorm wrote:Starscream: Hay Megatron do like want to go shopping with me?
Megatron: Like totally let's go like buy like nail polish and new clothes, and all sorts of new shoes, ooh I can wear those new high heals I've been dying to wear!
Starscream: Oh totally, those things look so gorgeous on you. Ooh how about after all that we can like hang out a coffee club and make fun of everyone who walks past
Megatron: Yay! Want to be BFF'S forever Starscream?
Starscream: Totally

haha!

Optimist_Prime wrote:Arcee: Hey, baby. You got girlfriend?
Hotrod: Not just this minute.
Arcee: Well, baby, me so horny. Me so HORNY. Me love you long time. You party?
Hotrod: Yeah, we might party. How much?
Arcee: Fifteen dollar.
Hotrod: Fifteen dollars for both of us?
Arcee: No. Each you fifteen dollar. Me love you long time. Me so HORNY.
Hotrod: Fifteen dollar too beaucoup. Five dollars each.
Arcee: Me sucky-sucky. Me love you too much.
Hotrod: Five dollars is all my mom allows me to spend.
Arcee: Okay. Ten dollar each.
Hotrod: What do we get for ten dollars?
Arcee: Every t'ing you want.
Hotrod: Everything?

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!

I love full metal jacket

Hot Rod: So doc, what do you think?
Ratchet: It's a rust infection, no doubt about it. Just curious how you got it THERE!
Hot Rod: *coughs* um, yeah well, doesn't really matter does it? Can you do something about it?? It burns!
Ratchet: Yeah, I've got something you can put on it. Use it once a day till gone and KEEP THAT PANEL CLOSED FOR PRIMUS' SAKE!
Hot Rod: Thanks doc. Um, you aren't going to mention this to anyone right?
Ratchet: No, I wont say anything!
*2 minutes after Hot Rod leaves*
Ratchet: Nurse, I think we need to move up Arcee's next scheduled maintenance check. Oh and, um, bump Springer up the list too just to be safe.
Ratchet: Next!...Hop up on the table kid and...SWEET MOTHER OF CYBERTRON!!
Wheelie: Help me doc, they've gone all crusty. For unknown cause my lips are rusty!
Ratchet:*palm to forehead* Nurse, cancel Springer and Arcee!

i think Arcee caught somethin from Wreck-gar