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Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Discuss anything and everything related to the Transformers Live Action Films franchise, which are directed by Michael Bay. Join us to discuss the movies and stuff up to date with news for the 2017 release of Transformers 5. Check out our Live Action Film section here.

Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby G1 Smoketreader » Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:05 am

Motto: "Continue building from within,attack your designated target,defend everyone."
Weapon: Double-Barreled, Armor-Piercing Particle Beam Cann...
Yes, REALLY! I'm asking about jokes you liked :BLACKEYE:

MINE:

*The sound peoples' "hello" to fans via Blackout in TF1: There you are, waiting for Blackout to Transform during the first view of the first film.The rotor pops up, the blades fold back, there's a G1 Transformation sound, freshly synthesized with panzywaist new millennium soundtech rather than the old school distortion crunch, but that's cool, 'cuz you recognize the sound peoples' hello and Blackout's about to......
....do nothing.......
...and then everything you were expecting to happen next comes apart at the seams....
Very clever little practical joke, and much appreciated.(Thank you, Sound People). :PEACE:

*The call centre during the Skorponok takedown: Absolutely brilliant moment, especially in a movie where the most advanced, coordinated apples of Earth technology MUST happen NOW for us to survive!!! :BOWDOWN:

*Bumblebee lubricates on the chump!
The Ancient Greeks believed all comedy stemmed from aggression. I think we all can spot and identify ourselves in 'Bee at that moment,plus his body language is mixed with casual and 'tude- it's precision on the animators behalf!

*The Autobots parked all over Sam's Dads yard, assuming any paser by will consider the sight unremarkable. In the Greek version that I watched, it's extra funny, because Optimus gives the command "Paralaktite" (camoflage yourselves) which is a military term that normally follows up with dudes painting faces with mud, dressing in branches and 'disappearing into the landscape'- tho the Autobots are in full view and sitting pretty in the assumption that they're masters of blending in!!!.One's even yellow!!!

*Jetfire farts a parachute!(What will Soundwave fart when he gets old???)

*Sams Ma uses the term Happy time in front of the poor guys female visitor.

*Sam deduces 'Bee is Japanese (Hello, Takara!!)

*The chump educates the children on the Samurai background of Nokia.

*Barricade, in a truly scary display where he demonstrates how easily he can paste Sam, is forced to blurt out the words "Where are the Glasses?" WTF?You evolved into a sentient organic robo comet enslaver to find a pair of glasses?

*Simmons, in defense of his nation, keeps a radioactive alien head in a fresh food store.

*The two nitwits with the Taser in the Smithsoneon.

Yours?
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Red 50 » Mon Feb 14, 2011 3:26 pm

Motto: "Never send an army to do a dinobot's job"
Weapon: Twin Sonic Cannons
The first one that comes in mind is...

Skids and Mudflap fighting over the Green Chevy.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Slashercon » Mon Feb 14, 2011 4:08 pm

Motto: "Hey Howdy Hey, how ya'll doin' today?""
Weapon: Dual Bladed Sword
Mine's are the twins mocking Leo, devey vs the twins, Autobots hiding from Sam's parents, BB pissing on Simmons, and Frenzy saying his infamous line.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby SlyTF1 » Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:37 pm

Motto: "If my first sacrifice wasn't enough, maybe you would prefer to pay with your funky blood."
Weapon: Sword
Mine is when Skids says to Leo...

"Why don't you get a haircut with yo' b!tch ass!? Go whine to your boyfriend!" Best joke in any movie EVER.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Capt.Failure » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:07 pm

"THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE COOLEST THING I'VE SEEN SINCE ARMAGEDDON! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!" :shock: :shock: :shock:

I love Bay's ability to poke fun at himself.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Aximalli_Prime » Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:23 pm

Motto: "I will always be there for other people, because I know what it's like to have nobody there for me."
Weapon: Electron-Pulse Gun
For me, it's definitely when Bumblebee takes a piss on Simmons. Best freakin' joke ever.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby DJLazer » Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:37 pm

Motto: ""Destruction is the right of all autobot beings""
Weapon: Concussion Blaster Gun
When sideways crashed thru the building everybody flinched except for the old man.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby SlyTF1 » Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:40 pm

Motto: "If my first sacrifice wasn't enough, maybe you would prefer to pay with your funky blood."
Weapon: Sword
Capt.Failure wrote:"THIS IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE COOLEST THING I'VE SEEN SINCE ARMAGEDDON! I SWEAR TO GOD!!!" :shock: :shock: :shock:

I love Bay's ability to poke fun at himself.


And when Sam wrote on the Bad Boys 2 poster before the movie started to pick up.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Twitchythe3rd » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:52 pm

Motto: "Embrace the coming oblivion."
Weapon: Black Magic
The Fallen.

Zing!
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby OptiMagnus » Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:53 pm

Motto: ""Close your mouth and open your mind.""
Weapon: Gatling Cannon
"GET OUT OF THE CAR."
"Ok easy..."
"NOW!." -Optimus Prime and Simmons

"The boy's pheremone levels suggest he wants to mate with the female." -Ratchet

"Whoa...dat's a big mudda..." -Skids? Or was it Mudflap?

"You feeling lucky punk?" -Clint Eastbot (AKA Ironhide)

When the twins mock Leo.

Anytime Ironhide wishes to kill something.

All the funny stuff Jolt said. :roll:

"I'm getting too old for this crap!" -Jetfire

When Sam suggests Bumblebee could be Japenese.

"Sometimes cowards do survive..." Look who's talking Starscream. Story of your life.
Please note: If you think I may be joking, I probably am.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Evil_the_Nub » Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:39 pm

Motto: "Feel free to die when you've had enough."
Weapon: Dark Saber Sword
Bumblebee crying when Sam told said he wasn't taking him to college with him.

"he went to find you a tighter shirt" "there isn't a tighter one, we checked"

Bumblebee's antics when Mikaela and Alice are in the car.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby G1 Smoketreader » Tue Feb 15, 2011 10:08 am

Motto: "Continue building from within,attack your designated target,defend everyone."
Weapon: Double-Barreled, Armor-Piercing Particle Beam Cann...
I forgot:

-"It's you and me, now, Megatron..."

-"No, It's just me, Prime..!"
"Everyone has a hobby.Even people who say they don't still have one under another name.If we're sick,injured, we still go to it and get down to see how it is.If it needs something, we bring it,make sure the attention is perfect.It exercises our care and protection and gives us back philosophies.It's a living thing to us,and is the most perfect way to teach a young person how to be towards a living thing. It's something that should never be taken away."
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Hip-Hoptimus Rime » Wed Feb 16, 2011 4:56 pm

Motto: "Nobody has to look for trouble."
Weapon: Reciprocating Laser Cannon
Evil_the_Nub wrote:"he went to find you a tighter shirt" "there isn't a tighter one, we checked"



Good one. I like the follow-on:
"How about my foot in your a*s?"
"What size shoe do you wear?"

Good times.
-Yer pal, G
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Godzillabot Primal » Thu Feb 17, 2011 10:38 am

Motto: "Roll out!"
“Big robot suck” Skids lades and gentlemen
:APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE:
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Thanks for BeastProwl fixing the link!
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Red 50 » Thu Feb 17, 2011 12:45 pm

Motto: "Never send an army to do a dinobot's job"
Weapon: Twin Sonic Cannons
godzillabot wrote:“Big robot suck” Skids lades and gentlemen
:APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE:


It was "Mean robots suck!", actually.
But you're Right.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Godzillabot Primal » Thu Feb 17, 2011 8:51 pm

Motto: "Roll out!"
Red 50 wrote:
godzillabot wrote:“Big robot suck” Skids lades and gentlemen
:APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE: :APPLAUSE:


It was "Mean robots suck!", actually.
But you're Right.


Thanks for the correction Red 50! :D
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby shadowynne » Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:06 pm

Weapon: Energy Blades
Hip-Hoptimus Rime wrote:
Evil_the_Nub wrote:"he went to find you a tighter shirt" "there isn't a tighter one, we checked"



Good one. I like the follow-on:
"How about my foot in your a*s?"
"What size shoe do you wear?"

Good times.


most of the humour was... not to my taste, but this made me laugh like a fool, and still does every time i see it, pure genius...
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Windsweeper » Sun Feb 27, 2011 2:21 pm

I was actually surprised at how funny the first film was. Shame ROTF didn't live up to it.

I love Anthony Anderson in the interrogation room.

Sam's parents in the first one. "You're gorgeous!" "She can hear you talking, Mom!"

"How did you get over there so fast?" Sam's Mom to his Dad when he crawled furiously under a table thinking there was an earthquake.

Bernie Mac - "If I had a rock, I'd bust your head open!"

Ratchet - "The boy's pheromone level suggests he wants to mate with the female!"

"Left cheek. Left cheek. Left cheek!"
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Red 50 » Mon Feb 28, 2011 3:23 pm

Motto: "Never send an army to do a dinobot's job"
Weapon: Twin Sonic Cannons
Windsweeper wrote:"Left cheek. Left cheek. Left cheek!"


Ah, yes. That one was hilarious!

"Epps, wheres your wallet?!"
"Pocket!"
"Which pocket?!"
"My back-pocket!!"
"You got ten back-pockets!"
"LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK! LEFT CHEEK!!"

Also, it's not good, but still (Primus, sometimes I hate Youtube)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWm-Sbsf3ZU
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby MasterSoundBlaster » Thu Mar 03, 2011 3:01 am

Motto: "You can run,you'll just die trying"
Weapon: Fusion Cannon
Man you guys got all the good ones but i thought this was funny...

Grindor just drops the car into the building where the cons are going to operate on sam,then megatrons head appears dramtically like hes about to scare the s*** out of megan fox but instead hes acting all chill,nods his head to side,and is like,"Come here boy" it was so funny because you think hes about to rip the humans open like a candy rapper.

Simmons and Leo:
"Did you see the movie 'gunfight at the O.K.Corral'?"
"no why what happens?"
constructicons start their engines and make a rumbling noise
"alllooootttt of people died there"
Devastator begins to form
Simmons,Leo,Twins: :shock:
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Twitchythe3rd » Tue Mar 08, 2011 11:53 pm

Motto: "Embrace the coming oblivion."
Weapon: Black Magic
Twitchythe3rd wrote:The Fallen.

Zing!


Jokes aside.

- Galloway and Lennox on the plane:
"I need you to yank the blue cord! Yank it really hard!"
*Galloway yanks the cord and his parachute opens*
"Not now we're on the plane you dumbass!"
"Wha?" *Galloway gets yanked out of the plane*

- Frenzy accidently killing himself.

- "Bumblebee, quit lubricating the man."

- Jetfire commenting on his age. "I'm getting to old for this crap."
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Red 50 » Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:28 am

Motto: "Never send an army to do a dinobot's job"
Weapon: Twin Sonic Cannons
Twitchythe3rd wrote:
Twitchythe3rd wrote:The Fallen.

Zing!


Jokes aside.

- Galloway and Lennox on the plane:
"I need you to yank the blue cord! Yank it really hard!"
*Galloway yanks the cord and his parachute opens*
"Not now we're on the plane you dumbass!"
"Wha?" *Galloway gets yanked out of the plane*


Yeah, that one was good. VERY GOOD!!!

Twitchythe3rd wrote:
- Frenzy accidently killing himself.


"Oh ****!" And for this crap he got himself a new body...
Hilarious!

Twitchythe3rd wrote:
- "Bumblebee, quit lubricating the man."


Not much comment on that one.
Poor guy, though. Even if he was a jerk-ass.

But he's changed now. (Right?)

Twitchythe3rd wrote:
- Jetfire commenting on his age. "I'm getting to old for this crap."


As the classics said (Riggs & Murtaugh - "I'm too old for this s***")
Yeah. He was. All that and funny. In a way.
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby kaonREBEL753 » Wed Mar 16, 2011 5:09 pm

Motto: "One never truly knows what they fight for until everything beloved to them is surrounded by darkness..."
Weapon: Photon Blaster
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby Skywarp64 » Thu May 05, 2011 3:47 pm

Motto: "I think, therefore I am. But I don't always think, so I guess I am not."
Weapon: Fusion Cannon
I have two.

1) Sam: And here are some basic tools used by 19th century seamen.
*Class chuckles*

2) After Sam's "car-trouble" finally compels Mikeala to leave, Bumblebee pays "Baby Come Back".
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Re: Your favourite TF movie jokes.

Postby SKYWARPED_128 » Thu May 05, 2011 7:19 pm

Weapon: Null-Ray Rifle
Frenzy's "Oh, sh!t" moment when he gets his head smashed by his own shuriken.

Frenzy smashing his head against the console screen inside Air Force One's server room, when the download stopped.

Frenzy flipping the bird at the humans. "Stupid insects tried to shoot me."

Wheelie challenging Simmons to a fight. "You wanna throw down, ya pubic 'fro head?!"

Leo tripping over the guard at the toilet and Tasing himself.

Simmons doing his "One man, alone, betrayed by his own country..." speech with Leo in the car.

Ironhide: "The parents are irritating. Shall I get rid of them?"

**Ratchet cheering him on in the background** [CLASSIC!!!]

OP : "You know we don't harm humans. What is with you?"

Ironhide: "I'm just saying...you know, it's an option."
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