The Energon Pub

[The Happy Locust]

It's been ages since I considered this place a starbase. Let's perform a little test.

*Locust rushes to the edge of the large glass done covering the base weilding a hand drill*

the perfect weapon

Lookit' im' go!

AAAAAAGH!

*Everyone races to the source of the scream to find Locust with his rear end somehow partially phased outside the outer dome wall.*

Extreme decompression, a drill-induced pinhole leak, and bad choce in wardrobe all came together to embarrass me.

At least you saved a bunch of money on your car insurace by switching to GEICO...

*Locust tries to hold back his tears as he points to an unsigned insurance form floating on the other side of the dome*

And you kept that in your ass why?

Easy accessibility?

As this little incident should show, my ass seems to be the most accident prone area of my body.

*holds back a shriek as a small meteroid brands a cicrular mark onto the left cheek*

The mark of a quality rump that. At least, that's what Beefy and Lamby tell me.


Makes sense to me. Of course, customs could be a problem.

*realizing he can't remove his rear from the hole without being further sucked outside, Locust decides to make the best of it.*

They say that in space, no one can hear you...

*Locust's face becomes a stern grimace for a moment before returning to a relaxed smile.*

Much better.

*Though no sound could be heard, a cloud of particles has been released that will eventually be the doom of over 23 different worlds*

Now that's nasty. I have been bested. *hands Locust the trophy and walks away in shame*

I must plan on out doing him... *turns myself inside out and oozes throughout the ship. However when trying to get a beer my ID pic no longer looks anything like me*

Urge to poke your organs is rising...

Inside out is technically naked, so...

*call police to report indecent exposure*

OFFICER! I CAN SEE HIS BARE TIBIA!

*quickly puts on bike shorts*

*tries to explain things to the cops but my owrds come out as a bloody cloud of gibberish*

*poke*

Did she just brush off a femur?

*goes into fetal position as halo just poked the movement center of my brain, or it was my duodemum*

I doubt it was your duodenum. Although, if you're inside out, I'd have to wonder where everything would go if she did.

I'm like the gorey version of cousin IT from the Adams family.

Bad mental images.

anyone else ever wonder what Cousin It would look like shaved?

I always guessed he was like Gossemer from Looney tunes.

Porky: You won't believe this, he was all hair. Nothing underneath. J-j-just hair and sneakers.

"This is indeed a disturbing universe"

Says the baby that just murdered Groundskeeper willie. Strange that Gravedigger Billy also killed him...

Makes you wonder about some of those alternate worlds.

like how doughnuts could be created in clouds...

MAGIC.

Sure... blame it all on magic...

It's the universal solution to everything.

"We can do anything now that Science has invented Magic."

Time to open up that chemistry set and rediscover alchemy.

Yay!

*playing with a wild cow*

And now, using only fast foods, I shall converts this cow's blood to pure gold.

*feeds the cow dozens of Big Macs. Cow tips over and dies.*

Well, there's still yellow blots in its blood so that counts.

Is it hard and shiny and made of gold?

Well it's not as messy as the time he blew a pig up by plugging it's ass with a cork and stuck it with a pig. Nor was it as funny as the time we saw a Hippo swallow a midget.

"...but there's nothing funny about that."
*giggles mildly*

Seriously, am I the only one here who wants the headline to read: "Hippo swallows midget"

I think I'd be great.

We could always try "hippo swallows Pygmy". That's a little more realistic.

*Puts a pygmy hippo in front of a Giant Hippo. *

NOw we wait.

*we wait for 3 hours, nothing*
Wait, we forgot the one thing Hippos can't resist. *pours drawn butter on pygmy hippo, it's gone before I'm evendone pouring it*

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

Ever wonder what would happen is the blob hired someone to clean out his bellybutton lint?

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

Ever wonder what would happen is the blob hired someone to clean out his bellybutton lint?

Stewie: *emerges from blob's fat rolls wearing a diving suit* I'm sorry louis this job is going to take longer than I estimated.

[Halo]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

Ever wonder what would happen is the blob hired someone to clean out his bellybutton lint?

Stewie: *emerges from blob's fat rolls wearing a diving suit* I'm sorry louis this job is going to take longer than I estimated.

Barf.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

Ever wonder what would happen is the blob hired someone to clean out his bellybutton lint?

Stewie: *emerges from blob's fat rolls wearing a diving suit* I'm sorry louis this job is going to take longer than I estimated.

Barf.

I was hoping we'd for for something sillier.

"What's this?"
"My lunchbox? I thought I'd lost that."
"Eww... And this?"
"Roller skates! Awesome!"
"What the hell?"
"Ooh. Colecovision. This is going to be a fun afternoon"

[Psycho Warrior]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

Ever wonder what would happen is the blob hired someone to clean out his bellybutton lint?

Stewie: *emerges from blob's fat rolls wearing a diving suit* I'm sorry louis this job is going to take longer than I estimated.

Barf.

I was hoping we'd for for something sillier.

"What's this?"
"My lunchbox? I thought I'd lost that."
"Eww... And this?"
"Roller skates! Awesome!"
"What the hell?"
"Ooh. Colecovision. This is going to be a fun afternoon"

haven't been watching the simpsons lately.

[The Happy Locust]

Yeah, but the large hippo is enjoying his butter bath.

A bath in water is no bath at all.

I want a pool full of Jell-O.

I could so make a bikini and wrestling joke here. But I have too much respect for Halo's weaponry.

*holding in vulgar comment...*

Oh, go for it.

Sure thing. Halo in jello? hominahominahominahomina...

there. happy?

I'm going to have to hurt you now.

Never accept an invitation for mischief from Halo. She's the hall monitor and she's got a quota to meet.

Never invite madness. It uses all the toilet paper.

Would you prefer it didn't use any?

That's not very fresh.

Not fresh. Not even as fresh as fresh prince of bel air.

You know he went broke.

Will smith? Awesome. love to see famous people/rappers go broke.

He made it back, though.

you raised my hopes then dashed them... bravo Halo.

When you've lost all ways to physically harm an opponent, there's always emotional scarring.

you can't hurt the blob! ... physically anyway.

Ever wonder what would happen is the blob hired someone to clean out his bellybutton lint?

Stewie: *emerges from blob's fat rolls wearing a diving suit* I'm sorry louis this job is going to take longer than I estimated.

Barf.

I was hoping we'd for for something sillier.

"What's this?"
"My lunchbox? I thought I'd lost that."
"Eww... And this?"
"Roller skates! Awesome!"
"What the hell?"
"Ooh. Colecovision. This is going to be a fun afternoon"

haven't been watching the simpsons lately.

That was a FG ref