This is
WARPORNNEWSNETWORKTonight with the return your favourite co-hosts, Nemesis Wheelie and Zombi Cheerleader!!!
- Hello Minions, I'm Zombie Cheerleader and as today is New years eve, we will be looking at Hairdressing during the war, with a special report from Tracks on just how you create that sparkle, when all around you is reduced to rubble.
- And I'm Nemesis Wheelie. We begin tonight's festivities with a special report on
Scraplets, an irritation of the armour plating's more 'sensitive' regions suffered by an estimated 3 in 10 mechs, usually passed from chassis to chassis via unprotected Powerlinking and, for the luckier amongst you, Gestalt combining. *nudgenudge*
- This image taken by perceptor at gunpoint shows clearly what dangerous little buggers they are.
- We asked the experts: In today's permissive society, why are people too scared to approach their medics for the correct protection, and what should you do if you or your any of your regular Powerlinking partners develop a painful brightly coloured transforming rash? Is it still safe to share a CR chamber with this 'friend'? And are the rumours that it came from touching too many fleshlings actually true?
All will be explained in slightly condescending manner later on in the show.
- As with all these 'linktually-transmitted' diseases, the most vulnerable to it are the youngest generation of Cybertronians. With both 'Gestalting' and Powerlinking on the rise the Autobot council of Medics, chaired by Absolute Zero, has released this stark warning:
"It is always better to be safe than sorry - if you do
feel that you want to Powerlink with a new partner, be it after a few fortified energons on a new years eve out or just because you are bored on a weeknight - be sure to protect yourself and if you are in any doubt get your interfaces tested first
- no one wants a dose of the clang!" Wise words there, don't you think Wheelie?
- Gotta be better than the rash you caught from Iontrail eh, Zom-
- Well, that's all we have time for today, goodnight*snip*