The Energon Pub

by **Rastamus Prime** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 8:48 pm

Optimus: Yo Joe!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Megatron: Hey, uh, Optimus. I was thinking, why don't we set our differences aside and see a movie together, we have a lot of catching up to do.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Grimlock: I downloaded a new grammar program, I can now communicate at the level of an inteligent life form.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Starscream: You idiots, the Jedi are escaping!

by **mcart01y327** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:38 pm

Optimus: OK, listen up, scumbags. If we're gonna invade this fortress, we need a good game plan. Now, I have two options we can use. Number one, we run at the base in a single fine line, screaming at the top of our lungs! The enemy will be so flabbergasted, by the time they have a chance to regroup, we'll already be inside.

Ironhide: Oh, yeah, right. They're not going to get surprised, they're just going to start mowing us down.

Optimus: That is the inherent beauty of the single file line. They can only kill the person in front. So if we order from least important to most important, with Wheelie being in the front and me being in the back, then we just might make it through.

Prowl: Don't you think that Wheelie should be in the back, since he's the one carrying the bomb?

Optimus: No, Wheelie is in front of me. We need someone in back who can objectively evaluate how the plan is working.

Ironhide: How are you going to know if the plan isn't working?

Optimus: If Wheelie dies, I'll know we're in trouble, and immediately abort.

Wheelie: I think that's a good plan.

Hot Rod: Optimus, while that's the most retarded idea I've ever heard, I just wanted to thank you for not putting me in front of the line.

Optimus: Don't get misty, Francine. We'll have already killed you and used your corpse to jam up the windmill! I think we can all agree, given our current situation, it's the perfect plan.

[silence]

Optimus: OK, well let me tell you about my other plan. Using parts from Teletraan 1...

Hot Rod: [to Arcee] I'm hoping you've got a better idea.

Optimus: ...We'll make what I like to call, "The Hot Rod Cannon."

Hot Rod: Oh, man...

Optimus: Utilizing the power of the Hot Rod Cannon, we make a Hot Rod-sized hole in the outer wall!... or we paint it a very disgusting color.

All belongs to Red vs Blue. :grin:

News Credits: 3 · by **Name_Violation** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:55 pm

swindle here bringing you might putty...and the awesome auger

News Credits: 1 · by **vectorA3** » Fri Aug 14, 2009 11:53 pm

mcart01 --VF!!!!! :lol:

Now maybe Wheelie will go to the front with Jar Jar Binks occupying him!

by **mcart01y327** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:21 am

vectorA3 wrote:mcart01 --VF!!!!! Now maybe Wheelie will go to the front with Jar Jar Binks occupying him!

Even though I didn't write it, let's say he did anyway.

Megatron: They will all taste oblivion! Which tastes like Red Bull! Which is disgusting.

From RvB again!

by **Carriemus Prime** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:54 pm

Megatron: ha ha I have stolen all your supplies of coors light beer!

Optimus: Doh!

by **Wheelimus Prime** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 9:17 pm

Wheelie: Hey guys! I have a girlfriend!

Tracks: yeah, when that happens, the world will implode

*arcee walks in, kisses wheelie*

Arcee: what, he is cute

*world implodes*

i think i just won

by **Wingz** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:19 pm

Jazz: Maaan, I hate the radio. Ya know, maybe if I have Wheeljack remove my ginormous sound system, I could fight better!

by **Nightscreech** » Sat Aug 15, 2009 11:45 pm

Megatron: Damn it Starscream we cant retreat until the sombrero has covered the llama with cheese!

by **Carriemus Prime** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:12 am

Starscream: This townie isn't bothering you right?

Megatron: Oh, beyond belief. But it's nothing I can't handle.

Optimus: You could handle me if that's an invitation.

Starscream: Hey, you better mind your manners.

Optimus: Oh relax, cupcake, it was a joke.

Starscream: Hey farmboy. Maybe you can't count. But there are four of us and one of you.

Optimus: So get some more guys and then it'll be an even fight.

He he I am a trekkie so sue me

by **Rial Vestro** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:44 pm

Stampy: Break, you're turning into a Penguin, stop it.

Break: Excuse me, miss, but I seem to be a penguin and my assosiate here is rapidly looseing his limbs.

Heinrad: Normallity has now been restored and anything you still can't deal with is therefor your own problem.

by **Wheelimus Prime** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 1:52 pm

Tracks: we need the prsident, surely you could find him

Ironhide: stop calling me Shirley, and i am on it!

*a few minutes later*

Ratchet: Optimus, we need your help!

Optimus: I'll go get the president!

Ratchet: you are the president!

Optimus: yeah, and your a remold of Ironhide, in all continuations

Ratchet: Come on president, we need your help! megatron is attacking Iacon!

Optimus: Thats it! IMA CHARGIN MUH LAZOR!!!

Ratchet: damn dementia

Combination of the movie Airplane, Shoop Da Woop, and scary movie 4

by **Carriemus Prime** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 6:47 pm

Major Lennox: Our cameras saw some sort of weapon.
Optimus: Oh, well it's hard to say.
Major Lennox: Some sort of state secret?
Optimus: No. Just difficult to pronounce.

Ha ha I also like Stargate...

by **Wheelimus Prime** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:11 pm

Hot Rod: you know what i love about college girls?

Sunstreaker: What?

Hot Rod: as I get older, they stay young. C'mere baby!

by **Carriemus Prime** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 7:21 pm

Megatron: You all think I'm a petty-minded bureaucratic nincompoop who delights in enforcing political regulations because he gets some kind of perverse pleasure out of it. And in many ways, you're absolutely damn right! But that doesn't alter the fact that the only we're gonna down track The Allspark and get through this in one piece is with a sense of discipline, a sense of purpose, and wherever possible a sensible haircut.
Starscream: I'm going back to bed.
Megatron: Would it harm you to have hair like mine?
Barricade: I have got hair like yours. Just not on my head.
Megatron: Well, I'm no stranger to the land of scoff. Perhaps you'd like to explain to me why it is that every major battle in history has been won by the side with the shortest haircut.
Soundwave: Oh, surely not, sir!
Megatron: Think about it! Why did the US cavalry beat the Indian nation? Short back and sides versus girly-hippie locks. The Cavaliers and the Roundheads, 1-0 to the pudding-basins. Vietnam, crew-cuts both sides, no score draw.

Drawn from Red Dwarf with only one word replaced

by **Rial Vestro** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:30 pm

Wheelimus Prime wrote:Optimus: yeah, and your a remold of Ironhide, in all continuations

No he isn't. Movie Ironhide and Ratchet are two completly different molds.

by **Wheelimus Prime** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 8:46 pm

Rial Vestro wrote:
Wheelimus Prime wrote:Optimus: yeah, and your a remold of Ironhide, in all continuations

No he isn't. Movie Ironhide and Ratchet are two completly different molds.

i didn't mean movie.

i need to check on my writing more

by **mcart01y327** » Sun Aug 16, 2009 9:14 pm

*After a huge battle*
Optimus Prime: Cool beans?
Megatron: Cool beans.

*Introductions*
Optimus: Hey, everybody! I got some awesome news. We have a new crew member today, Hot Rod. So I thought it would be fun if we all went around and said our name and a little something about ourselves. I'll start. My name is Optimus Prime, and I like to party. All right, Ironhide, you're up.
Ironhide: Uh, hi. Uh, my name is Ironhide, and uh... I like to party.
Optimus: Uh, no, Ironhide. I just said that I party, so maybe you could do something different from me.
Ironhide: My name is Ironhide, and I... am the leader.
Optimus: You know what? Let's move on. Ratchet, you're up.
Ratchet: Uh, hello! I'm Ratchet, and I like to party.
Optimus: Yeah, uh, Ratchet, what did I just say to Ironhide?
Ratchet: Who?
Optimus: Ironhide!
*Wheelie pops in*
Wheelie: I like to party. I'm Optimus Prime.
Optimus: No! You're Wheelie!
Wheelie: Right, Wheelie; I party.
Optimus: No, no, you don't. Okay, nobody parties but me.
Ironhide: Yes, and we party.
Optimus: No!
Ratchet: Yeah, just Optimus...
Optimus: Yes!
Ratchet: ...and me!
Optimus: No! I'm the only one who parties!
Wheelie: I'm pretty sure I've partied before.
Optimus: No, Wheelie, I know for a fact you don't party. Okay? You do not party!
Wheelie: You're right. Ironhide's the party guy.
Ironhide: Haha, sweet!
Optimus: Oh, my God, shut up!

Quotes thanks to the awesome movie Hot Rod. :grin:

by **Rial Vestro** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 12:59 am

Megatron: One long hitter, that's what we need. I'd sell my soul for one long hitter.

*thunder and lightining*

Unicron: What a noval idea.

Megatron: Where did you come from?

Unicron: I was designing an edsoul.

Megatron: Huh?

Unicron: Forget it. Listen Megatron I don't want the Decepticons to loose either and I'm betting that you not only want them to win but your life long dream has been to be a Decepticon yourself. You've still got your old alt mode scanner and arm cannon up in your closet.

Megatron: How did you know that? Listen Mr. Mr.?

Unicron: Unicron.

Megatron: Mr. Unicron, I can't even touch my toes.

Unicron: Why don't you try, just for kicks.

Megatron: *bends down and touches his toes* Well look at that.

Unicron: With me around alot of things come easy.

Megatron: You mean you really are?

Unicron: I really am. You'll be 22 again, we'll call you Galvatron, and you can lead the Decepticons to victory.

Megatron: What about my wife, my job?

Unicron: This is a big opperation Megatron, you mustn't let little things like that get in you're way.

Megatron: I just dissapear, is that it? What about after I stop being a Decepticon, what happens then?

Unicron: Well now Megatron, that's fairly well known. How do you think some of these polititions around got started?

Megatron: What about an exscape clause?

Unicron: A what?

Megatron: In the realestate buisness we have what you call an exscape clause. If I don't like it I otta be able to get out.

Unicron: This isn't realestate and I don't make deals.

Megatron: Then I won't do it. I've got my job and wife to think about.

Unicron: Oh right, oh right. I don't want to hear any more about your wife. Wives, they cause me more trouble than the Primus Church. I'll give you a chance to get out. On the 24th of September at 9 PM, just so long as thoughs Damn Autobots don't win.

Megatron: Oh right. *they shake hands* Is that it, a hand shake?

Unicron: Yeah, what'd you think? Sign your name in Energon? Now come on times waisting.

Megatron: Oh right but first let me go in and get my alt mode scanner and arm cannon and leave a note for my wife.

Unicron: I love this job!

Megatron: (Singing) Good bye old girl... (Unicron Laughing changes Megatron into Galvatron.)

Galvatron: Say, did you?

Unicron: I did.

Galvatron: WAM! Right out of the park! (continues singing) And now your Megatron, has to go but he'll come back to you again...

(Not exact word for word quoteing but that's basically the first scene of "Damn Yankees" and I thought it worked well with Unicron as Mr. Applegate, Megatron as Joe Boyde, and Galvatron as Joe Hardy.)

by **Bloodlust** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 2:18 am

Blaster: You know, I'm sick and tired of this rock and roll, how about we listen to some nice Beethoven for once?

Perceptor: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?

Optimus to Rodimus: Use the Force Rodimus! Trust your feelings!

Starscream to Megatron: You arrogant ass, you've killed us!

Grimlock: Ooooo pretty flower, me save you for collection!

Starscream: Death before Dishonor!

by **Carriemus Prime** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 3:03 am

Megatron: Are there any questions?
[Starscream is sitting at the back of a group]
Starscream: Is it true that there's a point on a man's head where if you shoot it, it will blow up?

Aka: Hot Fuzz

by **Rial Vestro** » Mon Aug 17, 2009 8:42 pm

Starscream: Megatron is dead, I am now you're new leader!

Optimus Prime: Nope, I am.

Starscream: What are you doing here, you're the Autobot leader?

Optimus Prime: Right and now you're all Autobots.

Starscream: What?

Optimus Prime: Didn't you know? It's in Megatron's will. *puts a disk into the Decepticon's computer*

Megatron's Recording: In the unlikely event of my death in the great war I would like to leave all of my belongings that I brought with me to Earth to my most trusted soilder Soundwave.

Soundwave: I'll be in Megatron's room moving his stuff into my room.

Megatron's Recording: Anything I still have Cybertron can go to Shockwave. He's probly taken all my stuff by now anyway, we did leave him alone on Cybertron for 4 billion years.

Starscream: Yeah, we did. His blinking eye was really creepy, who wants to take that with us where ever we go?

Megatron's Recording: As for my replacement as leader of the Decepticons I've thought long and hard about this and I think I'm going to give it to someone who wants to lead more than I do, someone who has allways been way more quallified, someone I've fought with every day of my life.

Starscream: That's me. That's me!

Optimus Prime: Keep watching Starscream.

Megatron's Recording: Optimus Prime, you are the new leader of the Decepticons, do with them as you wish. The war is lost without me anyway. Starscream couldn't lead them worth a damn.

Starscream: Even in death he's a huge "TRIGGER".

by **dougie_prime** » Tue Aug 18, 2009 11:47 am

on robot chicken they would say it LOL

by **TattedPitbull** » Wed Aug 19, 2009 12:47 pm

Megatron to the Fallen: I never f*cked anybody over in my life that didnt have it coming to em you understand, all i have in this world is my b***s and my word and i don't break em for nobody!

Fallen: Don't ever f*ck me over Megatron

Megatron: SAY 'ELLO TO MAH LIL' FRIEN' *KABOOOOOOOM*

- Hellz chea SCARFACE!!!!

by **Carriemus Prime** » Tue Aug 25, 2009 3:55 am

Optimus Prime: Captain's log Stardate 25793.4 we have been patroling the neutral zone for a day now with no sign of the Klingons. I feel this is starting to look like a wild goose chase.

Ironhide: Captain Bird of prey cloaking on our port bow

OP: Spoke too soon. Shields up, back us away. Open hailing frequencies

Arcee: Sir they're hailing us!

OP: On screen

Megatron: Optimus you sneaky little p'tagh did you think you could hide from me! Being in the neutral zone is an act of war!

OP: We're here on mission of peace, the Federation wishes to offer you the hand of friendship to deal with the Borg threat

Starscream: He's lying it's a trick, the Targ would sooner stab us in the back.

Megatron: silence you worm! At least try to act like the warrior your family name implies that you are. Optimus what are your terms?

OP: Stand with us, help us fight the Borg.

Megatron: how do I know this isn't a trick?

OP: You don't. You can either fight us and be destroyed by the Borg or stand with us and retake the Beta Quadrant.

Megatron: You make a valid point. We will join you for now.

OP: Follow us to Wolf 359. End transmission. Ironhide set a course for Wolf 359.

Ironhide: Aye Sir. Warp engines online

OP: Warp 1 engage.

Ratchet: May I suggest maintaining a safe distance from our new friends and remaining on yellow alert captain?

OP: Make it so.

he he he he :-B