The Energon Pub

by **TattedPitbull** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 1:55 am

Starscream: If ya nuts hang and you bang with a gang Then tell me are you down with the clown?
Megatron: What you doing around here you little b****?
OP: (um...)
Don't you know you're on clown ground b**** boy?
OP: (uh...)
Forks up forks down, we ALL got clown luv, b**ch face
OP: (um...)
Hey, what's your name?
OP: (OPPIE)
B**chie? You down with the clown B**chie?
You better run you b**ch-a** home, you little punk-a** b**ch

Soundwave, Devastator, Fallen, Ravage, Barricade and all d-cepts sing this:

Smell the air that makes you sick
Psycho sick, psycho sick
Pin you down and gets inside your brain
Psycho sick insane
Who's to blame for what they've done?
Ain't the one, paint the gun
I'm the jugga-lugga-lugga-roni
Best you leave me alon-ie
Some will say I'm in a gang
Guns do bang, nuts do hang
Like the wicked jokers down river
Quick to cut your liver
Sometimes bangers end their doom
Boom boom boom, shlock lock boom
I'm the other gang that's the offender
But you best remember
It don't matter which you pick
'Cuz they sick, psycho sick
They'll all cut your richie-ass up, bitch
'Cuz they got
Much clown luv (hey vato)
you old ****, I guess you don't know
Never kill around here (het vato)
Yeah, bitch, it's all about clown luv [x2]
If ya nuts hang and you bang with a gang
Then tell me are you down with the clown?
HEY!

LOL "Hey Vato" by Insane Clown Posse

by **Carriemus Prime** » Wed Aug 26, 2009 11:26 am

Ratchet: Oh, really? Well, I guess Elita should know about Atlantic City.
Optimus: Du-ude!
Elita: What happened in Atlantic City?
Ratchet: Well, Optimus and I are in a bar...
Optimus: Did you not hear me say, "Du-ude"?
Ratchet: ...and this girl is making eyes at Optimus, okay? So after a while he just goes over to her and, uh, after a minute or two, I see them kissing. Now, I know what you're thinking. Optimus' not the type of guy who just goes to bars and makes out with girls. And you're right. Optimus' not the type of guy just goes to bars and makes out with girls.
Elita: You kissed a guy? Oh my God.
Optimus: In my defense, it was dark and he was a very pretty guy.

Taken from friends names substituted he he he :twisted:

by **Badass Grimlock** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 10:36 pm

Megatron: ... I knew it! I'm surrounded by a**holes!

-Spaceballs

Shockwave: ..... On that note, let's play Oddball.

- Countdown with Keith Olbermann

News Credits: 3 · by **Name_Violation** » Thu Aug 27, 2009 11:23 pm

shockwave: if your happy and you know it clap your hands..

News Credits: 1 · by **vectorA3** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 2:09 am

Name_Violation wrote:shockwave: if your happy and you know it clap your hands..

this is absurd

considering SW only has one hand.

Carriemus Prime --very funny on that dialogue :lol:

by **Carriemus Prime** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 3:37 am

Starscream: And you know what else? I quit!
Megatron: No you don't!
Starscream: Well I'm leaving early today!
Megatron: No, you're not! You're coming back to my office to do busy work!
Starscream: Fine, but I'm getting a soda first!
Megatron: Whatever.

Scrubs B-)

by **Wingz** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 7:26 am

Megatron: I'm giving up on revenge. Come on, guys, lets go play with the flesh creatures and go for a walk in a park.

by **Carriemus Prime** » Fri Aug 28, 2009 8:04 am

Wingz wrote:Megatron: I'm giving up on revenge. Come on, guys, lets go play with the flesh creatures and go for a walk in a park.

by **Powermaster Prime** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 2:16 am

Blurr: "I.have.something.to.say........yeah"

Arcee:"Do wear Tampons?"
Starscream: "WHat do you mean..?? I'm not a wretched fembot like you!"
Arcee: "Oh.But you sounded like a girl.Squeak like one,at least"
Starscream: "This is the shrill voice of legacy,mind you! And I hate pink! "

by **zombiebunny** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 12:19 pm

Megatron: Hey OP check this out. *typing on the computer*
OP: What is i- OH GOOD PRIMUS WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Megs: I know right? Worst pairing ever.
OP: pairing?.PAIRING?!
Megs: I know, these fangirls are **** up. Look, there's one of you and me!
OP: Megs, you're internet privileges are done with.
Megs: It's no like I draw them.
OP: *curls up and rocks* Megs I hate you

by **Carriemus Prime** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 8:30 pm

zombybunnie wrote:Megatron: Hey OP check this out. *typing on the computer*
OP: What is i- OH GOOD PRIMUS WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Megs: I know right? Worst pairing ever.
OP: pairing?.PAIRING?!
Megs: I know, these fangirls are **** up. Look, there's one of you and me!
OP: Megs, you're internet privileges are done with.
Megs: It's no like I draw them.
OP: *curls up and rocks* Megs I hate you

That's brilliant!! :lol:

by **Siren Prime** » Sun Aug 30, 2009 9:52 pm

zombybunnie wrote:Megatron: Hey OP check this out. *typing on the computer*
OP: What is i- OH GOOD PRIMUS WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?
Megs: I know right? Worst pairing ever.
OP: pairing?.PAIRING?!
Megs: I know, these fangirls are **** up. Look, there's one of you and me!
OP: Megs, you're internet privileges are done with.
Megs: It's no like I draw them.
OP: *curls up and rocks* Megs I hate you

LOL!! I was thinking of something like this today. Only with less words, more of Megs and OP gawking at the screen and making faces that clearly state, "HOLY S#!%, WHAT THE #@%&$?!?"

by **Carriemus Prime** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 12:10 pm

Optimus: Right today I want to defeat Megatron once and for all, so we're going to go and... [screams] eeekkk!!!

Ratchet: Optimus?!

Optimus: It's a wasp, it's landed on me!! Get it off GET IT OFF!!! [Flails frantically]

Ironhide: You are such a girl. [blasts wasp off with canons sending Optimus flying]

Ratchet: Great now we need a new leader. Again.

by **zombiebunny** » Mon Aug 31, 2009 2:26 pm

*Skywarp and Thundercracker walk into Decepticon base*

*Megatron stops them*

Megs: What are those?
TC:We've found...squishy things.
SW: Can we keep'em Megs?
*Megs thinks for a second*
Megs: You know very well that there will be no humans here after what happened with Starscream *shudders* poor Screamer.

by **Bloodlust** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 12:19 am

Starscream to Megs: You know what? I F****** hate you.

Prime: I can't believe I died for this war.

Soundwave while holding Megatron in his alt mode and missing his target: I swear, somebody is f****** with the sights on this thing when I'm not looking

Perceptor: Time... line? Tsk, time isn't made out of lines. It is made out of circles. That is why clocks are round!

Prime: Where are you going?
Ironhide: Decepticon base. Kill everybody. Get the flag back.

Beachcomber: I LOVE BLOOD AND VIOLENCE! I'VE GOT A BONER FOR MURDER!

Starscream: What can I say about Megatron, except of course good riddence... But seriously, Megatron lived a great life. And now that he's dead, our lives are pretty good too. Zing!

Starscream: What do we need Megatron for? All he ever did was yell at us a bunch and tell us we suck. We'll just split up his duties. You yell at me and I'll tell you you suck. You suck, Soundwave! Oh man, this new system is working out great!

Prowl to Prime: Shut up you ruined my life!

Springer: What if I have to kill stuff, dude? I'm a lover not a fighter.
Rodimus: Yeah Springer, I'm the same way. That's why we get along so well, we're both just a couple of lovers.
(Short pause)
Springer: That sounded kinda gay, dude.
Rodimus: Yeah, it did... umm... I feel obligated to say something encouraging as your boss.
Springer: Our Prime died, you're just the guy pretending to be my boss.
Rodimus: Y-you know in our given situation technically you could be seen as one of my employees.
Springer: Except that I'm not.
Rodimus: (sigh, frustrated) Whatever, listen I just- as... as someone in an employee-manager relationship...
Springer: Which doesn't exist.
Rodimus: (sighs)
Springer: Why did you pull me aside again?
Rodimus: I'm sure it was to say something inspiring or... something, but now I just don't care.

Hot Rod: I don't recognize the authority of this court.
Quint: No one cares what a convicted criminal thinks

Hot Rod: Who's the prosecution?
Quint: Well, I am, of course.
Hot Rod: You're the judge and the prosecutor? That's a conflict of interest!
Quint: I object to that as speculative. And I also sustain my own objection!

Megatron: We want something from you, but we're not going to tell you what it is until we need it, HAHAHAHAHA!
Prime: No way, I'm not agreeing to something without knowing what it is.
Megatron: (Chuckling fiendishly) Oh yes you will. You will or else you're little friend Ironhide will die. Die a most horrible death. And you know his blood will be on your hands. Years from now you'll drive yourself mad wondering if there was anything you could have done to save him. So you will let me do what I want. You will agree even if what I want is something mysterious. What I want is something frightening! What I want is something PURE EVIL!(Laughs madly) I've also been told that a $20 co-pay is pretty much standard.
Prime: All right. Fine.
Megatron: Ah, you fool. And we want the $20 up-front!
Prime: Fine!
Meagatron: And in cash.
Prime: Whatever!
Megatron: Ah, you moron! If you'd used a credit card you could have gotten airline miles, or at least a 30-day grace period with no interest. You fiscally irresponsible fools.
Prime: Ratchet, give me 20 dollars. Wait, give me 30 dollars.

All the above are courtesy of RvB, redone for TF enjoyment!

News Credits: 1 · by **vectorA3** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:00 am

really funny Bloodlust :lol:

!! what is RvB??

by **zombiebunny** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 3:54 pm

*Megs and Starscream bickering in the background*
At the end of the fight
Starscream: AND I WANT MORE RESPECT!
megatron: *sigh* fine whatever Starscream.
Starscream: THERE! SEE?! YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!
Megs: I'm done with this conversation Starscream...
Starscream: D:<
Megs: By the way Starscream...you look really pretty today...*Megatron leaves the room*

Screamer:........a-..........m-.......dammit :evil:

by **Bloodlust** » Tue Sep 01, 2009 5:04 pm

vectorA3 wrote:really funny Bloodlust !! what is RvB??

Red Vs Blue: The Blood Gulch Chronicles.

by **TattedPitbull** » Sun Sep 06, 2009 1:56 pm

Starscream: I love you

Megatron: WTF is wrong with you?

by **TattedPitbull** » Sun Sep 06, 2009 2:20 pm

Oh i gotta do this one...

Ratchet: nobody knews the trouble i've seen nobody knows my sorrow....

Megatron: Hmm... do lighten up sing something with a bounce in it

Ratchet: ITS A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL!!!

Megatron: HELL NO!!! anything but THAT.

Ratchet: I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, da da da dad da there they are standing in a row, big ones small ones some as big as your head...ah oh i never had to do this for Optimus..

Megatron: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

Ratchet: oh just comparing you and optimus..heh

Megatron: never say that name in my presence I AM THE KING!!!

- LION KING HELLZ CHEA!!!!

or this one..

Starscream: stupid optimus, i'm not going to be able to sit down for a week

Barricade: (laughs maniacly)

Starscream: ITS NOT FUNNY BARRICADE!!!!

Barricade: (bursts into laughter)

Starscream: HEY SHUT UP!!!

(Barricade and Starscream brawl

Blackout: would you knock it off!!!

Starscream: HE STARTED IT!!!!!

(Barricade gnaws on his own arm)

Blackout: man if it weren't for Optimus we'd be runnin the joint.

Starscream: He's so pushy

Blackout: And stinky

Starscream: and hairy

Blackout & Starscream: AND MAN IS HE UUUUUUGLYYYYY!!!! (LAUGH)

Megatron: Oh he's not all that bad.

Starscream: oh its just you

Blackout: we thought is was someone important.

Starscream: Like Optimus

Blackout: yeh you just say his name and oooh (giggles)

Starscream: OPTIMUS!

Blackout: ooh say it again LOL

Starscream: OPTIMU OPTIMUS OPTIMUS!!!!

(all laugh)

Megatron: I'm surrounded by idiots...

Starscream: oh come on Megatron you're not like Optimus, you're one of us!!!

Megatron: ...charmed....

by **zombiebunny** » Sun Sep 06, 2009 4:57 pm

Magnus: I can deal with this now T_T

News Credits: 1 · by **shonenfan4** » Sun Sep 06, 2009 6:34 pm

Optimus Prime: "Welcome to the Rock."
- as NESTs dump more bodies of Decepticons into the ocean.

by **Bloodlust** » Tue Sep 08, 2009 6:35 pm

Megatron: Ha ha ha ha ha, yes! This place will do nicely for an evil lair! It's diabolically designed.
Starscream: As a student of Feng Shui, I can tell you this house is eighty-eight percent good luck. Also, very breezy. I like the floor plan.
Megatron: Quiet, you fool.
Soundwave: I just want my own room. I hate sharing with the vacuum.
Megatron: Hello? Is anyone home? Don't be alarmed. We're only here to kill you and take all your possessions. Excellent! No doubt our very presence has scared everyone away, mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Starscream: Why don't we just see if this place is listed by a licensed real estate agent?
Megatron: Oh, shut up.
Starscream: But we don't even know if it's been inspected recently. It could need foundation work.
Soundwave: It could have mold.
Megatron: Both of you shut up! We're moving in and that's final. It has machine gun turrets, two living quarters with ample closet space, and a short commute to my secret laboratory. It's perfect!
Starscream: Yeah, but what about the school district?
Soundwave: We have no children.
Starscream: It's important to think about resale value, Soundwave.
Megatron: Resale value? Our plan is to rule the world, not make prudent investments!
Soundwave: It's important to have a fallback plan.

Prime: Hello inferior Decepticons!
Ironhide: We would like to talk to you about...
Warpath: [Interrupting] Sneak attack!
Prime: Shut up you idiot! We're not here to fight! We're here to negotiate!
Warpath: Yay! Sneak negotiation!

Thundercracker: You know, I really think we should try a non-violent approach to resolve this.
Megatron: I agree. Except replace the word "non" with "extremely", and after the word "violent" include the phrase "blood explosion extraordinaire".

Megatron: They will all taste oblivion! Which tastes like Red Bull! Which is disgusting.

Meagatron: Thanks for the support Starscream. Way to be a team player.
Starscream: Hey, I've got to think about myself here.
Megatron: There's no "I" in team Starscream.
Starscream: Yeah, there's no "U" either. So I guess if I'm not on the team and you're not on the team, then nobody's on the g**damned team! The team sucks!

Hot Rod: [Prime has just been shot] Optimus! It's going to be OK, man!
Prime: No... I'm not... I'm not going to make it. Hot Rod, there's something I need to tell you.
Hot Rod: What is it?
Prime: I just want you to know... I always hated you. I always hated you the most.
Hot Rod: Yeah. I know you did. Now hurry up and die, you prick.
Prime: OK.

Prime: OK. We're gonna send over our Medic. Now, what do we get?
Megatron: You? You're surrendering! You don't get anything except humiliation and ridicule!
Prime: We've already got that! What else do you have?

Megatron: I only drink the blood of my enemies... and occasionally a Strawberry Yoohoo... or Sarsaparilla... Grenadine, straight from the can, dee-licious... Oh, occasionally I do enjoy a Sex On The Beach or a Pina Colada.
[sings]
Megatron: If you like Pina Coladas / and getting caught in the rain / If you're not into yoga / Starscream just has half a brain

Rodimus: Blurr, what the f*** are you babbling about?

Megatron: Anyone... want to guess... why I gathered you here... today?
Starscream: Uh, is it because the war's over and you're sending us home?
Megatron: That's exactly it, Starscream. War's over. We won. Turns out you're the big hero. We're gonna hold a parade in your honor. I get to drive the float. And Soundwave here is in charge of confetti!
Starscream: I'm no stranger to sarcasm, Megatron.

News Credits: 1 · by **vectorA3** » Wed Sep 09, 2009 6:25 am

Unicron: "Hey...that tickles! Oh - hehehe...." (as Galvatron frolicks around on his abdomen)

by **Carriemus Prime** » Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:03 pm

Stascreams ghost: We have to find somewhere to live.
Megatron: What do you mean, "we"?
Starsceams ghost: That's a cruel joke, Megatron. I've been thinking about an office. I think I need an office.
Megatron: What the hell would you do with an office?
Starscreams ghost: Office work, memoirs, catch up on my taxes. . .
Megatron: You've been dead for two years.
Starscreams ghost: Oh, they find you, Megatron. They find you.

Due South

names swapped