by Joshua Vallse » Thu Jun 30, 2011 1:18 pm
- Motto: "Build a Giant Robot? Sure it's safe, I mean...it's not like two Stars from a childhood tv show are going to hotwire it and take over the world....right?"
Ah, so I've been to the moon, and back.....
Mind you this is long, but they said share you review here so herei am doing just that. this was written without reading any of the previous comments, just fresh out of the theatre, so what i say is in no way influenced by any statements here....accept for the following two things.
So first thing is first, and this is directed to no one, just a pattern I'm seeing in reviews...two key points I will blow out of the water in terms of my own perception.
Yes, if you want to watch an academy award winning film, "Moon" is not it. I feel this is being used as a term to raise the bar of (Hey, if it isn't academy award material, it doesn't suck, cause it's not suppose to be right?) No, not right. Comparing any Michael Bay film to any Academy Award film in any context is just plain silly really. I have more choice words, but were gonna stick with silly, again for the sake of the kiddies here on this forum. But yeah, just because you open up with this, it isn't going to shift ones perspective, in fact it already feels like an off step coverup to "Moon's" faults that any reviewer whom would use this obviously know are there. A better use of awards would be the Razzie, (Hey, this movie is no Razzie award winner)...much more effective in saying it isn't that bad. Thats not what I'm saying, but something useful for the future.
Second, saying it's better then "Fallen"....that doesn't do any good either. Especially with an already strong founded hate against fallen....it's like me being served a dish of rotten eggs and the cook saying, "Hey, at least there's no maggots this go around right? right?" Yeah no, if I were to review Batman Begins with an opener like, "It aint no B&R!", just, just doesn't work. In fact it lowers one's initially unbiased overview even more.
So, that out of the way, onward to the review. Tiss be SPOILERS, this goes without saying.
Summary:
I'm going to summarize things first, being I just took a gander on what I wrote and damn if it isn't long. That said, my summary is that Moon is a great visual accomplishment worthy of anyone's portfolio reel be they digital artist or movie studio. As a movie however....sadly....I can't bring myself to say it's a good movie. It's a flashy movie, its a loud movie, there's robots, explosions, womens' underwear, but a good movie...no. Just another visual summer movie on par with Godzilla or 2012 or Spiderman 3, Terminator 3, X-Men 3....the list goes on. The biggest thing I have a problem with is the lack of character development. I will say if Speilberg does go forward with a 4th installment, I pray he does things on Cybertron, and hopefully an absence of human characters will force the writers to spew a little life into our giant alien robots. Impossible you say, without human characters? Nay, Pixar does this on a regular basis with animated cartoons, CARTOONS! In fact hey, what about Toy Story, which had human characters but they didn't pull away from the Woody or Buzz or Potatoe Head's character development, and that was a story revolving around non existent toys verses a live action film about existing robots toys, with back stories already fleshed out? I think it was Siebertron's review that I read that noted the Transformers really never developed as characters (for you picky f---rs, I'm paraphrasing, not quoting, relax) to Which I agree. For me, in these films, the humans became more of a crutch to fall back on to tell this story when the FX budget got too high or fleshing out entire characters verses just using old ones was deemed too much work. As for my reasons why this film is bad, they are many and to me, justified. So read on if you dare, if not, then not. But know this again isn't written out of malice or hate or just to win some non existent war...it's written cause thats just what I really think about "Moon". So grab some coco and enter my cerebral madness, if ye dare.
Visual effects!:
Right off the bat this franchise has one of the most killer effects to date. Everything is shiny, every transformation fluid when it needs to be and jarring when it's called for. I know people whom worked on the VFX and this will deff spruce up the ol resume. That being founded, I will say VFX alone will not make a film great. There have been tons of movies with great effects, doesn't make em great movies, just makes them eye candy. If thats your forte, great, fine, good on ya. However great effects aren't enough for me. In fact I know great movies with awful effects, Jaws is one. Left and right people swear to the moon (pun totally intended) that the shark looks fake, and it does! It's still a great film none the less. For "Moon", it's effects were fun, but in a day and age where every movie has tons of visuals an money thrown at it....there just has to be more. For me, this wasn't enough to get me on the "It's a great film" boat.
Characters!:
No Megan!!!!! This conversation has been beaten to death, revived by the director, and beaten to death yet again. But you know what, it's valid. In a day of character replacement, from Iron Man 2 to The Dark Knight, it's proven if you got the right actress, or actor, you soon become immersed in their performance and the story that their absence is soon just and after thought. This wasn't it, in fact I saw Moon with two other blokes whom don't even know this forum exists, they just enjoy movies. And within 7min of Carly's big debut, they turned to me with dead pan faces and just blurted..."Yeah, Megan is better". As for me, I'm a huge sucker for blonds, and accents, and Carly had both! And even then I couldn't jump on the Carly band wagon. I tried, but no dice. This for me is a good proven theory that when replacing an established character, Character acting trumps looks any day of the year. Again we go back to Dark Knight, when Holmes left and Maggie replaced her on screen, Maggie is no Holmes. Just right off the bat, based on shallow outward looks criteria, Holmes had that beat. But ya know what, Maggie brought more to the screen where it counted that I just raised an eye brow, shrugged, and re-immersed myself back into the story as the movie continued. Carly, no dice darlin. Megan still holds my cinematic heart.
As for character development in general, the thing about sequels is you have a chance to go deeper within your created character. You can show what you didn't get to in the first film due to any number of reasons. Mind you I'm not saying build a psych profile in a film about toys, but it doesn't take much to bring a character out of a familiar plot formula, and throw him/her in something else. For Prime, it was betrayal...and though you had some choice dialogue, "I was betrayed, you were betrayed, why were we betrayed?!?!?!!" I have to admit I've seen better character acting in an animated cartoon then what was executed in Moon. Which was a shame, cause I believe there really was a chance to go somewhere with that story arc....and it fell victim to "Hey, we can show more explosions and Fx here here here here....and here!"
Sam, ah poor Sam, I think the Sam character has no real depth to character short of screaming repeatedly and panicking like a sugar jacked squirrel. In the first movie it was fun, cause yes this is a kid thrown in this ridiculous situation. In the second film it waxed a little old, and two Shia's in the form of Leo just was too much. In a third film where our character has survived two near death experiences...scratch that he actually did die in the second one, and saved the world as well as played ambassador to an alien race, and he's still running around screaming without a hint of composure? I just kinda blotted him out and took my attention to the shiny effects...which isn't a good thing. In fact it made me kinda sad. Also, after being shot at by aliens and chased down and nearly killed, ya think the kid would take up shooting a gun. I mean, a self defense class or something! If this is your lifes' norm, just...ugh now I have a headache again. Were are those shiny pretty effects.....*wimper*
Shockwave! I gotta admit I was kinda excited about Shockwave, the big new baddie come to reek havoc and layeth the smack down. Alas, he suffered the classic "Villan Hype" syndrome which I hate. He just, under performed to me. I mean yeah, he took forever to kill, sure, great, it would take me forever to dig a hole into a mountain with a hammer and chisel, doesn't make the mountain a great villan. Shockwave was kinda the same thing, he just didn't really do much short of let his pet Robo-conda thing run wild and missfire with a gigantic forearm gun that shot out.....tiny missiles? I just never saw what I think could have been with Shockwave, in fact he even suffered from "The Fallen's" past woe of failing to have an alt mode. Hell, even the cannon fodder bots got alt modes this go around! Just a big scurry munster, Standing there posing with Robo-conda, Standing there miss firing with his ridiculous gun and tiny missiles, Standing there being shot, Standing there being punched, Standing there dying.
As for the rest they just blurred into the same old mold....Ironhide shoots things, Ratchet says something not really contributive in the back ground, Bumblebee still have no voice. Ya can reattach a guys legs, but a voice box is too much for ya huh? Wheelie was, well wheelie. There were a few new characters, but short of just being something new to look at or laugh at, nothing really much to them. Starscream whined, I was actually happy to see him die. Megatron was, well sadly he probably lost the most character development with each film. I barely even noticed him honestly.
Geez Josh, are there any character you did like? Sure, the Nascar Bots were a delightful treat. I loved the fact that they were British, and Scottish, it was a fun surprise. Sentinel Prime, whom received a paint job from his teaser trailer self, was more in depth then alot of the bots combined. Simmons, in a Transformers film where he finally doesn't have to flash his @$$ or crotch was as entertaining as ever. And "Duchess", Mr Serenity himself was just flat out fun. If not my fav new character.
The Plot!:
Ah, the Plot. The Chernobyl thing was kinda neat, and the moon landing setup in the entire first opening half of the film was fantastic. Well done, nicely executed, it was fun to see a dying or dead Cybertron. Which has changed dramatically since it's first look from movie 1. After that, we kinda just do a head dive into familiar Bay territory of cute girls and their underwear pouting and Sam being...well...the same Sam we knew in highschool. The Parents do their cameo, more vulgar humor follows. Delightfully, no dog humping. A character plot more suited for highschool Sam then follows around that of teen boy jealousy because the boss is good looking but evil....a recycled flipped plot from "Fallen" with Megan being the jealous girlfriend and Sam falling to the new girl...also evil. Laserbeak running around killing people and talking was....interesting. After seeing previous designs of his head, I still think the later design would have been more suitable for an assassin then this bald vulture thing that just clumsily flops around after Sam. The introduction of Sentinel was fun, Megatron not so much. Soundwave, as a car, just couldn't do it. He even felt kinda tacked on, like he was there to support Laserbeaks presence more then Laserbeak was a support character for him. The whole world being invaded was fun, it was nice to show bots actually around different parts of the world doing things verses just crashing down in comets and then disappearing, only to jump back into space and reappear in Egypt. There are a few plot holes that struck me as odd now that I think back on the film, but nothing too blatant. The showdown in Chicago is fun to see, the one thing that really threw me was the human influence. I mean, from what I vagely remember, the humans were the Decepticons slaves right? So, when McDreamy starts yelling at Soundwave to shoot the prisoners, or really shout anything to any Decepticon in the form of orders....the Decepticons, being the slave masters, should put said slaves in their place right? Not chuckle like 4 year olds ready to cause mischief and bumble around saying, "Oh, yeah...now I understand. I mean I'm just a hyper advanced living mechanical organism from a different star system invading your planet, but your right, your train of thought is much better because your taking it personal. Kay, lets just shoot the hostages...one less thing to worry about." And the best one of them all, Carly using a 3rd grade trick of name calling and peer pressure to coax Megatron into shooting in the back the one guy about to off Prime, then just sort of stand there as a one armed Prime takes his head off? Really? Yeah, the finale of the film felt like yet another rush job on the writers part. As if a dialogue heavy development of the films three staple characters revolving around betrayal which then becomes heated action was just too hard verses, "Nah nah, I'm Carly and I'm calling Megatron a B!t(# cause that will cause him to jeopardize this elaborate plot device we set in motion so we can wrap up this mother!"
Sigh.....yes "Moon" is no Fallen, however it isn't any Dark Knight either, or even Thor for that matter.
Camera Direction!:
Oh snap we're getting technical! From film one, I said they need to pull those cameras back and show what the hell is going on. When the robots fought, it was just a blind flash of metal and chimes kind of thrown together. In the first film I chalked it up to budget. You zoom in, you show less of the robots, save money in the budget. When this device was repeated however in Fallen, well I couldn't use the same excuse twice. I mean that camera was up close and moving on shots that didn't even have FX in them. The infamous Megan/Shia "say that you love me, no you say that you love me" track shot from hell that followed just shortly after mini bots from hell farted and crotch fired Sam's house. and with the first movie making heap loads of cash, and the second film making even more....what excuse is there left for the final film? I mean really, is it that bad to pull your camera back a tad from your robots chest/shin/eye/hand thing as they're fighting? Again we go back to my friends, whom at one point turned to me amid one of these very "Bay" inspired shots and just asked me flat out...."Okay, that was Starscream right?" I just shrugged, "Sure, they all kinda just look the same after the first few minutes." My other friend, his poor eyes just nearly strained themselves out of their sockets. And the kicker, we didn't even see it in 3D. Thats right, I, an avid supporter of 3d movies, passed on this eye numbing experience cause I knew that was going to happen. As for other technical gimmicks, the one I missed the most, was the voice synthesizer which was very clear on the bots, mainly the decepticons in the first film. then just awkwardly vanished in the following films. It was great that they didn't really use it on the autobots, cause it humanized them, while the decepticons sounded more alien and threatening. When it was removed however, they just sounded like voice actors grumbling and straining their vocals.
Summary:
To sum things up on a verdict, I look back on what I wrote and sadly there's more bad then good. It's funny, for me there was no real excitement this go around. Even as the days counted down to opening night, I wasn't in line, I didn't buy tickets in advance, did'nt dish out the extra cash for a 3D experience nor go with a huge group of fans like times I've done in the past. I just wasn't into it this go around, be it old scars from movies past or just lower expectations what were justified....just something in my gut told me....nope! I could attribute this to ones mindset going into a movie experience...but this isn't the case. I've had lower expectations for Ledger when he was announced as the Joker..and then I saw the first trailer...and I was sold. I had lower expectations for Inception when I learned Leonardo was the front man, and was blown away that I went back and saw it again and again in theatres. Even more recently, I wanted nothing to do with X-Men Frist class, in fact I wanted so badly to hate it after the bad taste "Orgins" left....but I couldn't do it, I couldn't hate it. I loved it. With Moon, I just went in blank. I've been wrong about first impressions of films, and impressions previous films left in an existing franchise...I went in, I saw it, and just kinda sighed. Dare I say I was happy when characters died, cause it was that final coffin nail that signaled, "Yeah, it's final over".
The Moon came, the Moon was here, and now the Moon is far behind me.
~Josh
Decepticon of the Bayformer world.