Sari tells a story to Optimus and Bulkhead

X3ROhour says:

Prime: "What the scrap is this kids malfunction?"

Nacelle says:

Now this is a story all about how...

TheBritishFan says:

It all began on a Tuesday...

Error says:

Sari: Hey, do you think it smells like upbot in here?
Bulkhead: What's upbot?
Sari: Nothing. What's up with you?
*Weapons armed*

Optimustard says:

And that's how they check your prostate

Optimustard says:

That is what you get for running your mouths! I told my dad that you were picking on me...so he rebuilt Megatron, cause he's awesome

WreckerJack says:

And that's how babies are made!

Rainmaker says:

Sari: You see this key? The only reason I have it is cause some guy called Longarm Prime gave it to me...

WF72 says:

I mean guys, it's obvious the winner and next image are JUST around the corner!

william-james88 says:

And that's why I never got my first period.

trailbreaker says:

Happy New Year!

Cmdr. Trailblazer says:

Bulkhead: "How long until she stops speaking?"

Optimus: "Well, she's been talking for over a year...."

DeathReviews says:

Pull my finger!

Rated X says:

Sari: Im the sole reason the front page gets so many hits. If you dont believe me, ask Burn !

Bulkhead: Sigh...I think shes right Optimus. Lets go hang out on the 3rd party forums...

Rodimus Knight says:

*** BEEEEEELLLLLLLCCCCCCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH ****

william-james88 says:

I am trying to beat Daniel's record for how long I can stay here

lonrac says:

..... and if you're really clever the moderators won't notice and you can stay on the front of the web page for a whole year........

Evil Eye says:

"And then after Slingshot crumbled into fine gold powder, they replaced him with some helicopter dude called Alpha Bravo! Ha, ha!"

David-Allan says:

"Ain't nobody got time for that."

Another Fan says:

-
Optimus: *mumbles* "Why do you have a face I want to punch so much?... Must resist, must resist……"

Another Fan says:

-
Sari: "Seeeeeee! I told you that you have the same color as my boogers!"
Bulkhead: *sigh* "Tis is true."

Road Turtle says:

"...and THAT's why you wipe back to front, and Never side to side!"

Antron says:

"... and I was nervous because of the threats the drill sergeant made." Then his father asked him, "Did you jump?" To which he replied, "A little, at first."

JustPlainME says:

They come from our noses. Sometimes I wipe them under my desk at school.

DedicatedGhostArt says:

Yo mamma so fat, that she ate Unicron!

william-james88 says:

Did you read the latest top 5 list on Seibertron?

Road Turtle says:

We're so having a fourth season, I'll bet my virginity!

Road Turtle says:

...then I called Megatron's mom a Power Strip!

Road Turtle says:

...and That's how you get rid of a body!

Road Turtle says:

...of course That's a Thing. I Saw it on the DEEP Web!

faraohseth says:

.....guuuurrrl, it wasn't me. Must've been one of these guys who "backfired."

Road Turtle says:

....and That's why you always want to use plenty of lube!

Bill9000 says:

Lemme tell you about a time long ago when I WASN'T annoying ...

william-james88 says:

Hey Optimus, I am always wondering why you remind me of Beast Wars Megatron.

chirtman says:

"I'm not human either. As you can see when I open my mouth, my head is just filled with this violet colored mass"

snavej says:

Suri: Do you guys ever sneak into Sci Fi conventions? I bet you do!

Optimus: Actually, yes we do. We add special drugs to the drinks so that none of those defective people can have any more children.

Bulkhead: It's a kindness, really.

Cashie says:

...and then he says "Give me your face!"

Cmdr. Trailblazer says:

Sari: "This reminds me of that time when..."
Bulkhead:"Not another one!"
Optimus: "As least she isn't tell us where protofrom humans come from...."

itisileclerc says:

Sari : And that's my plan for staying on here even longer than Spike climbing a ladder!
Bulkhead : Does that much time even exist?

mattyou says:

"And this one time at band camp..."

snavej says:

While Sari prattled on, Bulkhead and Optimus were deep into their MMO games, behind their eyes.

Ravage XK says:

When you make toast, where does the bread go? I invented the left sock. Have you ever played pool with planets? If that cow really did jump over the moon why isn’t it in the Guinness Book of Records? …( Bulkhead thinks “Err, where’s reset?”)

Ravage XK says:

Time is concept that contradicts itself, very much like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. My shoes are clockwork. I once painted the sky with matt paint cos it was too glossy. Did you know that if you look at a cat upside down it will die!!

Road Turtle says:

"...and that's why I wear the same dress everyday!"

Road Turtle says:

"I now what the fox says"

Ravage XK says:

You think they are hair clips but they are not, they are STAPLES! That hair isn't going anywhere now!

Ravage XK says:

And that is why is it simply too expensive and time consuming to draw teeth.

Kilgore says:

Sari: I think Optimus is overrated. Let's make him die in the next movie. Optimus: Never! Bulkhead: .......

snavej says:

As Sari told them what she had done with all the neighbourhood boys and a few girls and dogs, the Autobots wondered if her socially destabilising antics showed she was a Decepticon agent.

BattleConvoy says:

sari big mouth!

Marcus Rush says:

WAFFLES!!!

empyre327 says:

Bulkhead: What do we get for 10 dollars?
Sari - Every t'ing you want.

Rated X says:

When I grow up, Im going to be just like Kim Kardashian...

Red_Sun says:

Sari: "Believe me guys, someday Bumblebee will be the leader of the Autobots."
Bulkead: "Whaaaaat?!"
Optimus Prime: "Never!"

Chrisjohnson76 says:

"Thats right Bulkhead, I know for a fact that Optimus's voice is preformed by David Kaye, who also preformed the voice of Megatron from Beast Wars!"

redoutlander says:

Now you get to look at my sixth finger for the next 3 months!

snavej says:

She thought that her taste in jewellry was excellent but everyone could see that it was just a weird-looking key, for goodness' sake. She was probably retarded.

Road Turtle says:

"...and that's why you always leave a note!"

Road Turtle says:

"My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..."

Blasphemous Prime says:

Sari: Just look what I pulled out of my nose!
Bulkhead: An extra finger?

Road Turtle says:

"...then I told him; Hand's off, if you miss with the Queen Bee, you're gonna get stung."

Road Turtle says:

"...and I told him; Please, you can't afford me, I'm high maintenance!"

snavej says:

Sari: For our end-of-term school play, we're performing 'The Lair of the White Worm'.

Optimus: Erm, inappropriate perhaps?

Sari: I can't seem to wash the fake blood out of my hair after rehearsals.

snavej says:

Using their microscopic vision, the Autobots could see that Sari was CRAWLING with cooties. Slowly, they backed away.

snavej says:

[continued from below]

shut up?!

snavej says:

Sari [having just spoken for three hours]: ...and then on the seventeenth day of my vacation, I went shopping in the Humblebums' Department Store and bought six dresses, nine strappy tops, four sarongs, eight pairs of shoes...

Bulkhead: Does she ever s

snavej says:

Bulkhead: She said that she feels like 'Sasha Fierce' today.

Optimus: Perhaps we should move her to a wildlife reserve, to be with other fierce creatures.

Road Turtle says:

"...and then I told the guy; if you have to ask, you can't afford it..."

teamprime says:

I love the autobots

snavej says:

Sari: These days, more cartoon and comic characters are becoming female.

Optimus: That's not good. I can't fight Decepticons if my petticoats keep snagging on things!

Bulkhead: Just fight in your bra and pants.

Optimus: I must keep my beach body

snavej says:

Sari: ...so Bulkhead is, technically speaking, 'fugly'.

Bulkhead: But I thought that I was 'rugged'!

Sari: Sorry, the cool people on internet message boards have spoken and they never lie.

snavej says:

The power of the Allspark Key was leading people surreptitiously into strange situations, such as random caption competitions.

DedicatedGhostArt says:

And that is how I got Hasbro to start using more paint on Combiner Wars figures. Oh yeah! This is animated, Combiner Wars isn't out yet.

Road Turtle says:

Sari, "I know what boys like, I know what guys want, I know what boys like, I've got what boys want..."

Autobot_Crossfire says:

Sari- "And that's why G1 is the best!"
Optimus- "You're defying your own continuity!"

snavej says:

The Autobots were disgusted by this prancing monkey with her delusions of 'coolness' and 'street-smarts'.

snavej says:

Sari: I really love 'My Little Pony'.
Bulkhead: What happens to them when they die?
Optimus: Glue factory and ready meals, I heard.
Sari: Plastic ponies never die, they just slowly disintegrate.

Michael Alex Kawa says:

Sari-"So like I was approached by that Manga artist Yuki Ohshima to be in one of his pervy Kiss Players or whatever comics"

Bulkhead-"and ...hmmm what did you say"

Sari-"I didn't say anything, I kicked that sicko in his face and ran away"

Bulk

Marcus Rush says:

*Sari Continued* Prove naturalized citizenship as well as legal birth certificate. And be a member of one of the dominating political parties and considered legally insane.
Optimus Prime: Don't do it Bulkhead... Its just not worth it, trust me on this on

Marcus Rush says:

Bulkhead: So in the real world you humans 'Voh ta' to determine who your leader will be?
Sari: That's Right big guy.
Bulkhead: Can I become a 'press a dental candidate?'
Sari: SURE!!!, So long as you were born in the US, can prove naturalized citizensh

snavej says:

Sari: ... and then the little Dutch boy put his finger in the dyke ...
Bulkhead: Wait, I thought dykes didn't like little boys that way.
Optimus: Not that kind of dyke, Bulkhead.

redoutlander says:

"And that’s how I lost my finger nail!”

LE0KING says:

At least I'm better than Shia.

PrymeStriker says:

Sari's tongue is unnaturally large.....

Blasphemous Prime says:

Sari: See that? That's what happens when you hang out in the water with Spike for too long. Spike became a prune, and Prime's face plate rusted right off!

MarkNL says:

Sari: I'll take the blame for this to be such a ruined Transformers show.

snavej says:

Sari: I got seven hundred and sixty two entries onto the front page of 'Rage Comics'!
Bulkhead: Mother of God!
Optimus: FUUUUUUUUUUUU...!

snavej says:

[Continued from below]

Sari: Erm, yeah ... snooker balls.

snavej says:

Sari: My mouth is so big, I can fit two or three in there.

Bulkhead: Snooker balls?

snavej says:

Sari: ... and that is the difference between hookers and friends-with-benefits.

Optimus: How does that relate to plushies?

Bulkhead: Or Kardashians?

Sari: [Sighs] Just search the Web.

Evil Eye says:

"And when I found out my MP Tigertrack was a KO, I found the eBay seller, tore his legs off and fed them to him!"

trailbreaker says:

"I have no idea where my finger has been."

xyl360 says:

Come on, that's right Optimus, just pull my finger. It'll be totally worth it, I promise.

Alright Sari; and you're certain that it was necessary to give us olfactory sensor upgrades using the Key for this?

Absolutely guys, just be sure to lean in r

snavej says:

Sari: You Transformers have plenty of 'hard power' but humans have 'soft power'.

Optimus: Please explain.

Sari: We burn soft things like puppies in a furnace to generate power and crush our enemies!

snavej says:

Sari: Fat Alan sabotaged the Decepticons' anti-cat machine by taking a dump in it.

Optimus: Did that work?

Sari: Yes, the Decepticons couldn't sell the dead cat skins because they stank.

snavej says:

Sari decides to go on a crusade /jihad against smut on internet message boards. The Autobots are not sure if that should be top priority.

snavej says:

Sari re-enacts her novelty wedding dance, to the tune of Sir Mixalot's 'I like big butts'.

snavej says:

Sari: I call this my prostate finger!

[The Autobots are speechless.]

snavej says:

Sari: This time next year, I'm gonna need a bra!

Bulkhead: Could we get bras, Optimus?

Optimus: Sorry, our sizes are just not available on Earth.

snavej says:

Optimus: Sari, we feel that you should cover yourself better. That minidress leaves little to the imagination. We don't want you falling victim to the paedos.

Bulkhead: I had paedos once. They ate holes in ten percent of my circuits.

Optimus: Tho

snavej says:

Sari: The doctors said that, if my head grows any bigger, my neck will break like a twig.

Optimus: Ratchet, Sari needs a custom-built exoskeleton a.s.a.p.!

snavej says:

Bulkhead: So what makes the red hair on a brown-skinned human? Rufous albinism?

Optimus: I'm detecting a chemical odour. It's what they call 'hair dye'.

Bulkhead: So it's deception ... could be Decepticon!

Optimus: Blasters ready.

Heckfire says:

"...and yet, the fandom STILL prefers me to Miko Nakadai. Ain't THAT a kick in the gearbox?"

Kyleor says:

And this one time, in band camp...

Blasphemous Prime says:

Sari: "The last caption contest was so long that Prime's mouth plate fell off!"

NicholasPrime says:

Sari: "...And that's when I bought the horse a prostitute!"
Bulkhead: "I love this gal!"

six6dbl5321 says:

- It's called a "Dirty Sanchez." It's what you do right before a "donkey punch."

VioMeTriX says:

no I will not do dp with you guys

kricket says:

Siri: And this is the number one reason I'll be in a Michael bay film before you bulkhead

Ninja Sixshot says:

Hey, Optimus I had this dream where you were being hunted by the goverment and you were obssessed wirh threatening people
Optimus: Sari, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard

bumblebeej8 says:

And that's how dinos became extinct.

OptimalOptimus2 says:

Bulkhead, you're so fat, you make Unicron more slim.

Shuttershock says:

"C'mon, Bulk! Pull my finger."
"Uh... Okay."
*CRACK*

Ravage XK says:

And you simply insert the finger up the nose and dig around!

Optimum Supreme says:

"And that's where babies come from!"

Ultra Markus says:

I GOT THIS!

Editor says:

Sari: Yep, then I put this finger all the way in. Go on smell it, behold it's magistracy!
Bulkhead: I don't want to play this game.

harvester says:

And THAT'S how season 4 would have went!

Wheeljack808 says:

And the Empire will be defeated by Ewoks!!!

datguy86 says:

"And that's how I simultaneously exposed all 50 states to radioactive pornography and arrested for gross indecency."

Emerje says:

And that's how I divided the fandom all by myself.

skidflap says:

Sari: I remember when i fought this big guy, really big and uh what's his name...Deebo!! Yeah i threw a brick at his face and then...
Optimus: Sari that's from the movie Friday!

SimianProphet says:

Prime to Bulkhead: Ugh, If she sings the 'teapot' song one more time, she's off the team!

william-james88 says:

Let me tell you all about the birds and the bees.

Nemesis Maximo says:

"And that's how I got them to change the caption contest."

Evil Eye says:

"And that is how I learned to stop worrying about scale and collect Legends!"

negifan says:

....and that's why I'll always be remembered as one of the most annoying supporting characters of all time.....

lonrac says:

Bulkhead: Uh, Sari? did you grow an extra finger?
Sari: just play along, they'll be poking at animation glitches for years without you pointing them out.

Sabrblade says:

...And that's how Equestria was made!

CombaticonsCombine? says:

Once upon a time, there was a Scraplet that was SO UGLY, that everybody died. The end.

TulioDude says:

The Autobots are confused by Sary atory of robots who are controlled from inside their chests by humans.Sary never tried to explain Gyndam again.

Beyonder says:

First!!!! Why does it change so quickly now? Spike took forever to climb that stupid ladder right??