Captions by snavej

Kup told one of his old war stories. He inadvertently revealed embarrassing secrets. Prime was found dead later that day. He couldn't face the shame. What was the 'killer secret'? Answer: he'd created Wheelie just to annoy everyone!

Prime tried to make sense of the plot continuity in Dr. Who. It ended badly.

One day, while bored, Prime got freaky with Blurr. Of course, Blurr thrusted too fast. Prime's big end exploded and fell off. RIP.

He died because he was allergic to the dodgy, toxic, new paint from China.

Sari: I'm badly animated. What should I do?

Prime: I'll call Michael Bay...

Ratchet: I found a banana, a zucchini, a big carrot and Chromia's favourite toy. Teletran-1, you have to be more careful!

Teletran-1: Beep bop boop.

Superion: Can I park my nosecone in your cargo bay?

Menasor: Go away pervert! I'm underage, only a few days old.

Superion: Menasor, you're my only chance for love!

Menasor: No, soon there will be Defensor, Bruticus and others.

Superion: Great! But first, I'll make love to you.

Ironhide: Do you want to see my van? It's fully equipped! All mod cons!

Chromia: You ARE the van.

Chromia: I transform into a sleek, turbo-charged race car with...

Ironhide: I just came!

When Chromia Met Bonia.

They both like the new-look Seibertron.com so much that they decide to do it in the storage closet.

They want to but the cartoon is a 'U' rating: extreme violence only.

Ironhide: I like trains!

Chromia: I like trains too!

The Autistic Bots make a great team.

Ironhide is old and needs some help from Chromia's finger. Nudge nudge, wink wink, say no more.

Chromia: 'Where are my boobs? I'll get them out and inflate them tonight, around 8pm.'

This seemed like a good idea after taking all those drugs.

With two yellow antennae on his back, Rodimus could pick up Country music stations AND Western music stations simultaneously. It was very confusing.

Shia LeBoeuf as he developed his underage alcohol addiction and madcap stunt tendency.

Young hopefuls gathered to audition for the proposed new Bayverse movies. They were driven out of the studio by AI robot security forces.

Boy: 'Dad, I just had diarrhoea.'
Dad: 'Amazing! You actually improved the Rodimus Prime costume!'

What happened to the rest of the cardboard? He put it under his clothes to act as insulation when he was living on the streets.

'Transformers: the Pantomime' was a total flop.

This is the best image available for Glyph.

Was about to drink the Kool Aid. Thought he'd go out with a flourish.

He was terminally ill. At the autopsy, they found various strange things inside him, such as wheels, ray guns and Daniel Witwicky.

Too young to know that his G1 toy was awful.

Was stronger than Galvatron. Still got beaten up for his lunch money.

Didn't transform into a hippy winnebago but lived in one for years.

Where are the flames on the RP design? [Sets fire to the cardboard.]

Much like Mr. Spock (Star Trek), all the natives on this planet had experienced unfortunate accidents with spaghetti picking machines that made their ears pointy.

Preparing to pulverise the Special Olympics...

[He's wearing the number 34] Rule 34: there's a porn version of everything!

It was a great insult to some. He was beaten to death by drunken Mexicans.

[Thinks of the wanking possibilities...]

'Reflector, stop taking pictures from the wrong angles! You've been warned before.'

Arcee: NO ONE SPIT IN THERE! MINDLESS CHODES!!!

He was so shocked at being mistaken for a transsexual that he died.

'So we're agreed: no more diversity hires! If they'd monitored the shuttle properly, this wouldn't have happened.'

Ultra Magnus: Daniel, we just read Skybound #6. We'd like you to climb inside the Matrix.

Omega was angry because Metroplex always claimed to be bigger than him.

The permanent glass visor made vaping impossible.

At that very moment, after holding it in for a long time, they all farted in unison.

Perceptor: I could rebuild him, using the mind of Alexa.

Ultra Magnus: No, Siri or nothing!

He watched an episode of Thundercats, with the superior animation. He died of jealousy.

Hot Rod: So the whole thing was driven by two rats running in wheels that were attached to generators!

Perceptor: That's what you get, living in a cartoon.

Breakdown fails the gay test.

Perceptor: Everyone grab a slice now before he goes off.

[Hot Rod uses his circular saw to cut slices.]

Kup: If we stick a pair of those cheap plastic 'googly eyes' on him, he'll look a bit more alive.

Everyone Else: [Stares at him in disgust]

[Pause]

[Arcee goes to find googly eyes.]

Prime prepares to time travel back to the 1920s for a sensational new appearance in a Buster Keaton flick.