Captions by Binaltech Bombshell

Ugh! Why'd we put the fat guy on top?

Go, trained pit-stank! Gag the enemy with your pit-stankyness!

I'm confident, dry and secure!

Vortex: YOU...SHALL NOT..PASS!
Brawl(off screen): The Autobots are on the next bridge. Moron.

Are you threatening me?! I need TP for my bunghole!

I'm soooo gonna hose Squidward with this thing!

Starscream: I love your new chin tuck! That Dr. Reconstructicon does good work!

Inferno: Once I carry you over the threshold, our new life together will begin!
Red Alert: Oh, darling, I'm the happiest girl in the world!
Prime(off screen): I just puked inside my facemask...

Man, what a party! I can't believe Swoop drank me under the table!

Skywarp: I've gotta tell them not to drink that Kool-Aid...NOOOOOO!!!

Gym Teacher: Five more sit-ups, ladies!
Starscream: I hate P.E.

Making linoleum angels is tough!

Dinbot remembers the time he spent the night with a T-Rex babe, from the Natural History Museum. Dinbot: She was a little skinny, but damn fine!

Factory Recall Notice: All owners of Constructicon Gestalts may experience loss of limbs.

Spike: Ever since I was a young man, I played the silver ball...
Bumblebee: Your weak mind games won't work; hello, all-time 'Lock N Chase' high score!

Machine: I was going up to Heaven, but got lost along the way!
Bumblebee: Grampa? You've been reincarnated as...a "Pit Fighter" machine?!
Machine: Don't rub it in, boy.

Starscream: (singing)" I've got you, under my skin..."
Wheeljack:...

Weird, he's a lot bigger on the inside.

Starscream: With this disguise, I'll get some Energon Trix for sure!

First Aid and Blades, in a scene from the off Broadway production of "Stephen King's Misery."

B: Will I make it, doc?
FA: Um...well, have you ever seen "Old Yeller"?
B: No, why?
FA: No reason.

First Aid: Okay, turn your head and clank.

First Aid in: "The Horrible Nagging Crush I Had On My Roommate!"
FA: I like to watch him sleep...

Proof that Transformers can get pimples.

Galvatron (yelling out a screen door): Bltizwing! Stop splashing in those puddles, and come in for dinner!

Protestors: Carbon fiber alloy is Murder!
Blitzwing: Dammit! Do you realize how much this new armor cost?!

"Egon, your mucus."

Okay, Blurr, let's play "The Pyramid"!

F***in' Pop-Up Ads!

Giant: It's "Dress Up Time"!
Magnus: The Junkions resurrected me for this?

Giant: I will hug them and pet them, and call them "George"!

Magnus: Dude, your mouthwash just ain't makin' it.

Kup's homecoming after appearing on "The Swan."

Blaster goes "Kup Tipping."

Blaster: Now, WAKE UP!
Kup: I knew you couldn't hypnotize...Cluck, Cluck, BAWK!

Dino, No!!!

Blaster: Help! I keep hearin' voices and music when no one's around!
Kup:...you're a radio, dumbass.

Round One of the Autobot Freeze Tag Tournament.

Kup gets Blaster with the old "Banana Peel" gag.

"...and Candy Swallows takes the lead of the Pornstar Marathon!"

Run from that car's lousy paintjob!!!

"Walk like an Egyptian!"

Boss Hogg: Dang you, Quint Boys!
Quints: YEEHAW!

Driver Quint: I'm getting hungry, who's for stopping at Fudrucker's?
Other Quints: Yay, Fudrucker's!

Backseat Quint: *whispering to Driver Quint*
Driver Quint: Dammit, you should've gone before we left!

'Take a left at the robot.' God, could those directions have been any more vague?

Quint on a "Mr. Microphone": Hey good lookin'! We'll be back to pick you up later!

Crap, we're out of quarters!

This mall's got everything.

A gun wielding Bea Arthur terrorizes the set of "The Golden Girls Reunion."