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The Ultimate Caption Contest

Captions by Jackpot

Jackpot has entered the battlefield. Below are their latest captions for your viewing pleasure — or judgment. React accordingly.
Grimlock watches TV

The empirical use to which reason limits the pure understanding, does
not fully satisfy the proper destination of the latter. Every single experience is only a part of the whole sphere of its
domain, but the absolute totality of all possible experience

Ravage humps Spike

Catnip for Men: a new fragrance from Calvin Klein.

Grimlocks little secret

"You get me, Grimlock, HOW MANY channels?!"

Bumblebee unconscious w/ Seekers

Figuring out which was the good shoulder-angel and which was the bad was made more difficult when they started tag-teaming and hog-tying him, chanting "Burn the Ark!" all the while.

Bombshell gets indigestion

"And THAT, my drunken, vomitous comrade, is why faceplates are a bad idea."

A very lonely Tentakil

"Stop shooting! I've been disarmed!"

Swindle & Starscream - breast feeding?

"And this is in no way related to what Prime and Alita-1 are doing in that other picture?"
"Absolutely not."
.....
"Okay then."

Powerglide holding his own head

"Kids, try this at home."

Megatron on his hands & knees

"My shadow! My beautiful shadow! What have you DONE with it, accursed Autobot fools?!"

Sparkplug volunteers!

"I am Spartaplug!"

Megatron on his hands & knees

Despite its more relevant title, "Crouching Leader, Hidden Torso" was vastly outdone by its counterpart.

Skywarp holding a man

"Zees is unbearable! I demand you unhand me at once, you feelthy jackal's whelp, you son of a motherless-- dude, what the hell happened to your intake things?"

Get It On!

Alita's stunned silence was spent contemplating which was more unbelievable: that ol' Romeo was going for her bellybutton, or that he actually fit.

Tracks hanging from speakers

If I can just force my limbs into four contradictory perspectives, Tracks schemed, no properly-rendered chains shall hold me!

Bombshell gets indigestion

"Heimlich maneuver? Do you realize what that would look like to those Seibertron.com jerks?"

Sparkplug volunteers!

It was creepy enough that Sparkplug somehow always managed to snag the Matrix by the end of his magic act, but the way he'd casually spin it on his finger made everyone more than a little wary.

Windcharger strips

"Windcharger... do you realize this means we spend 99% of our screen-time naked?"

Fine dining ...

Strangely, Skullcruncher found he arrived later when he took the Freeway to work.

Megatron & Optimus get personal

"Wow, Prime, what wouldn't you do for this Klondike bar?"

Powerglide holding his own head

"Man, some days I just lose my head! But you've really gotta hand it to me - I'm ahead of everybody else.....'s....... heh.... Hello? Is this thing on?"

Get It On!

Yearning for more intimacy, Prime lightly brushes her kneecap, the illusion of momentary affection triumphing over the inevitable promise of her retractable wrist-cleaver.

A very lonely Tentakil

Cthulu,Cthulu,Cthulu,Cthulu,and Cthuuuuuukiiiiii!

Sparkplug volunteers!

With smug realization, he grazed the edge of the cel. All I need is a paintbrush, he thought. So simple, this whole time.

Bumblebee in a tree

I'd teach the twerp to climb down, Rescue Roy mused, but then I'd probably be out of a job.

Bumblebee in a tree

"Look, I'll take care of it for you: I'm out on a limb, I've barked up the wrong tree, it's good to see me branch out, this is beyond be-leaf, I can cedar ocean from here, there are better ways to get high, y

Bumblebee in a tree

The Persistence of Bumblebee, by Salvador Dali

Get It On!

"Mmm... you had a turkey sandwich for lunch, didn't you?"

Get It On!

Of course he didn't mention it at the time, but years later during a particularly fierce row over alimony payments, Prime finally expressed his shock that, mint condition though she had been, her box was certainly NOT sealed.

Get It On!

"Mother, I'm a grown bot, and if *you* don't cut this umbilical cord, *I* will!" he practiced in his head for the nth time.


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